How many times has nollywood been critisized in this forum? It's now time to critisize hollywood! ''Here are some of the things you should know you're watching hollywood'' :  1-It is always possible to park
directly outside any building you
are visiting.
2-A detective can only solve a case
once he has been suspended
from duty.
3-If you decide to start dancing in
the street, everyone you bump
into will know all the steps.
4-Most laptop computers are
powerful enough to override the
communication systems of any
invading alien civilization.
5-It does not matter if you are
heavily outnumbered in a fight
involving martial arts, your
enemies will wait patiently to
attack you one by one by
dancing around in a threatening
manner until you have knocked
out their predecessors.
6-When a person is knocked
unconscious by a blow to the
head, they will never suffer a
concussion or brain damage.
7-No one involved in a car chase,
hijacking, explosion, volcanic
eruption or alien invasion will
ever go into shock.
8-Police Departments give their
officers personality tests to
make sure they are deliberately
assigned a partner who is their
total opposite.
9-When they are alone, all
foreigners prefer to speak
English to each other.
10-You can always find a chainsaw
when you need one.
11-Any lock can be picked by a
credit card or a paper clip in
seconds, unless it's the door to a
burning building with a child
trapped inside.
12-An electric fence, powerful
enough to kill a dinosaur will
cause no lasting damage to an
eight-year-old child.
13-Television news bulletins usually
contain a story that affects you
personally at that precise
moment you turn the television
on.
14-The countdown timer from a bomb may start to count down from 12 hours but a highly trained bomb squad will always be able to disable the bomb when there's only one second left for the bomb to explode.   
15-You get fifteen guys shooting at a lead character with a hail of bullets(probably a thousand of bullets) all of them miss but the lead character turns around, fires one shot and bang! one of the bad guys is down!
16-When a building explodes, the hero and/or heroine will not be watching safely from a comfortable distance away. Instead they will be running at top speed away from the building and right at
the moment of the explosion
they will take a huge leap that
will put them just beyond the
danger point.
17-All single women have a cat.
18-95 pound women have the ability to overpower 250 pound muscle-bound men in hand to hand combat.
19-Nearly all car collisions end in hellish infernos.
20-When a woman is shown unclothed or partially unclothed it is usually sexy, if a man is, then it is usually presented as comical.
21-During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
22-If staying at a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.
23-Once applied, lipstick will never rub off, even while scuba diving.
24-The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
25-No one ever forgets a telephone number, even if it was only communicated in the middle of a gunfight or car chase.

-In science fiction, thriller and horror movies, large scale rescue comes late when there's only one or two characters who survived and already killed the monster(s) only to rescue them from the jungle or sea ''when the predator(s) are still alive rescue doesn't come''.
-In one on one battle tournament type films, the lead character always gets his butt kicked without having much power to defend himself until something comes up to motivate him, then he starts to overpower the antagonist.

Too mursh, Lol. I've got 1. In a detective movie, they always get the offender (murderer/criminal) at the end. As if they're all sufficient.

Natural disasters and alien invasions always occur in the U.S. first before any other country.

Accidents are caused and cars are bashed during car chases but those involved or directly responsible are never arrested.

Animals (monkey) are used as spy mate sometimes.
Their animals speak English fluently,spanish,more than an average u.s.a citizen - beverly hills chihuahua,doc. Dolittle, incredible journey. Lmfao

Even aliens speak English.

Think of every corny pick-up line you know, it will help you pick up Jennifer Aniston.

Love is blind but somehow Tom Cruise always ends up 'bumping into' Cameron Diaz on the way to the off licence store.

The geeky girl doesn't discover that all she has to do is take off her glasses, straighten her hair and wear a fitted dress and she'll be hott. But then she fids out on prom night.

If na to bash Nollywood, this thread for don reach 3 pages by now

that's because hollywood does their homework before releasing movies.

cant say the same for nollywood and this comparison is actually pointless.

if you want to criticize hollywood, do so without bringing up nollywood for further bashing.

semid4lyfe:

If na to bash Nollywood, this thread for don reach 3 pages by now

I don't understand why robbers in Hollywood are always the good guys, they only shoot when they really really need to, they always have a good cause, and they always fall in love, can we swap them for the Nigerian agberos?? Pretty please??

And seriously, if only it were that easy for underdogs to reach the final by wearing lucky shoes or wristbands. . .

Who is the ignorant person that started this thread. Don't you know that hollywood have their own critics. Haven't you heard of rotten tomatoes and metacritics. Hollywood makes good films to get good reviews and avoid negative criticism. We will criticise nollywood from beginning to end but no change. With logs in our eyes we want to point the specs in hollywood's

Sure. A whole lotta Hollymovies has critics. The movie u watch and u really say ''IT'S THE BEST HOLLYWOOD MOVIE I'VE WATCHD''!, checkin online,u c dt movie critics. YOUR PERSPECTIVE WILL CHANGE IMMEDIATELY(hate that movie a lil bit). Like THE DIARY OF A MAD BLACK WOMAN,MEET THE SPATANS. And many more.

The Guy that plaits his hair Knows just the right thing to say in THE DIARY OF A MAD BLACK WOMAN

15-You get fifteen guys shooting at a lead character with a hail of bullets(probably a thousand of bullets) all of them miss but the lead character turns around, fires one shot and bang! one of the bad guys is down.
Na this one they vex me pass

Who is the ignorant person that started this thread. Don't you know that hollywood have their own critics. Haven't you heard of rotten tomatoes and metacritics. Hollywood makes good films to get good reviews and avoid negative criticism. We will criticise nollywood from beginning to end but no change. With logs in our eyes we want to point the specs in hollywood's

good point.

also, razzie awards.

The bad guy(boss) doesn't notice any sexy girl except the one sent by the good guy(actor) to seduce him.

Oh I get it now . . .Stuart Little was adopted, but how come the whole school was okay with it??

lol

What piss me off, in some movies you will see about 500,000 people fighting another 500,000 people. that sux

They get dry so fast as soon as they step on land after swimming and battling all that's on sea.

. Nice thread.



The one that annoys me the most is:

5-It does not matter if you are
heavily outnumbered in a fight
involving martial arts, your
enemies will wait patiently to
attack you one by one by
dancing around in a threatening
manner until you have knocked
out their predecessors.

......This is very annoying and one of the reasons I hate action! I'm always like...'Are these I/diots stupid? Can't they just rush the guy at once?'. Tchew

Others:

[b]9-When they are alone, all
foreigners prefer to speak
English to each other.
10-You can always find a chainsaw
when you need one.
11-Any lock can be picked by a
credit card or a paper clip in
seconds, unless it's the door to a
burning building with a child
trapped inside.
12-An electric fence, powerful
enough to kill a dinosaur will
cause no lasting damage to an
eight-year-old child.
13-Television news bulletins usually
contain a story that affects you
personally at that precise
moment you turn the television
on.
14-The countdown timer from a bomb may start to count down from 12 hours but a highly trained bomb squad will always be able to disable the bomb when there's only one second left for the bomb to explode.
15-You get fifteen guys shooting at a lead character with a hail of bullets(probably a thousand of bullets) all of them miss but the lead character turns around, fires one shot and bang! one of the bad guys is down!
16-When a building explodes, the hero and/or heroine will not be watching safely from a comfortable distance away. Instead they will be running at top speed away from the building and right at
the moment of the explosion
they will take a huge leap that
will put them just beyond the
danger point.
19-Nearly all car collisions end in hellish infernos.
22-If staying at a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.
23-Once applied, lipstick will never rub off, even while scuba diving.
25-No one ever forgets a telephone number, even if it was only communicated in the middle of a gunfight or car chase.[/b]