missimelda01:
Questions like this comes at the early stage of meeting a lady, sometimes they have no idea what the family's financial status is like.. they just assume nonsense and that's what is annoying.

I don't think they assume nonsense... When you become older you would come to understand that certain character traits exist in firstborn children.

At the point of making that enquiry, the person involved is trying to understand a bit of your personality... This is not to say that they are spot on with their assessment.

However, some examples of firstborn children are a domineering nature; because they have overtly or covertly been responsible for their younger ones, the same attitude plays out in their relationships.

Firstborn women are often opinionated as are firstborn males especially if they grew up in homes where their word is law. This too rubs off on their relationship.

And so many other examples but this is not to say that they aren't beautiful souls, protective individuals with alluring characteristics.


Edit:

Away from the money issue... Your family's financial status has not been determined at the time of the exchange. I believe when that question is asked at that time, its purpose is to help in determining some of your inherent character traits, some if which you may be unaware of or yet to acknowledge.

I don't have any probs with first daughter. However, I wouldn't want a situation where her family, because shes first, would now want me to shoulder all their responsibilities.

True, I agree cos I possess few of the characters you've listed.

AWFCNAIJA:



I don't think they assume nonsense... When you become older you would come to understand that certain character traits exist in firstborn children.

At the point of making that enquiry, the person involved is trying to understand a bit of your personality... This is not to say that they are spot on with their assessment.

However, some examples of firstborn children are a domineering nature; because they have overtly or covertly been responsible for their younger ones, the same attitude plays out in their relationships.

Firstborn women are often opinionated as are firstborn males especially if they grew up in homes where their word is law. This too rubs off on their relationship.

And so many other examples but this is not to say that they aren't beautiful souls, protective individuals with alluring characteristics.


Edit:

Away from the money issue... Your family's financial status has not been determined at the time of the exchange. I believe when that question is asked at that time, its purpose is to help in determining some of your inherent character traits, some if which you may be unaware of or yet to acknowledge.

missimelda01:
True, I agree cos I possess few of the characters you've listed.

Agreed and its even manifesting in your obsession with curing your young cousin of his almost masturbative tendencies, even when it is still unconfirmed.

In between, I think you should let him be, trust his ability to do right and want to do right. Above all, it's a phase it will pass.

UyaiIncomparabl:
Only insecure men bother about not wanting to marry a first child/daughter. Truly, some families comes with lots of financial baggages, and this is what most of these men fear.

Some families too, are very shameless. How they manage to heap their numerous needs and wants on the men is just so nauseating.

I can't even give any man that glory to take care of my siblings or parents for me. I too get pride abeg! It's your choice to help, if you want. No be say tomorrow go reach, one man go come give me my life history of how he catered for my family and I when we were nothing. Kolewerk!

I'm very insecure for this case.

missimelda01:
So I get this awkward reaction when a man asks for my position in my family and I say I'm the first child. I really want to know what the issue is...is it just the bride price??

Some parents will never allow their first child to marry far.

2. Responsibility: some guys are afraid of responsibilities, in Africa we marry the family not just the person.

3. marriage rites. I know a guy that wanted marrying an IMO lady, first daughter. his colleagues from the east were the first to discourage him though they love themselves dearly, Bros no gree oo. As first daughter that is a graduate, we heard you will pay tire.

but love conquer all

culf:


Some parents will never allow their first child to marry far.

2. Responsibility: some guys are afraid of responsibilities, in Africa we marry the family not just the person.

3. marriage rites. I know a guy that wanted marrying an IMO lady, first daughter. his colleagues from the east were the first to discourage him though they love themselves dearly, Bros no gree oo. As first daughter that is a graduate, we heard you will pay tire.

but love conquer all

It's been two years since I made this post and I've been with a first son, would never do that again if I had to choose.
My point is that it goes both ways, being with someone who has to carry the burden of his family and dealing with my own responsibility is a lot even though it's just ‘dating’.

It takes love, patience and the grace of God to keep it going.

missimelda01:

It's been two years since I made this post and I've been with a first son, would never do that again if I had to choose.
My point is that it goes both ways, being with someone who has to carry the burden of his family and dealing with my own responsibility is a lot even though it's just ‘dating’.

It takes love, patience and the grace of God to keep it going.

lol, you're right but with understanding, openness and love, it shouldn't be an issue, just like you said. please Don't shock doors to first sons abeg, some will blow you away and you will be shock the level of love your MIL will show you cause women tend to have deep love for their first boys and that could be easily transfer to their wives.
never knew the post is this long, I should be checking that henceforth.

Curiouscity:


I am married to a 1st girl, but second child. They initially appeared down to earth. But like play, like play, I trained the last 2 siblings through the University. At the moment, she is expecting me to help set up her married brothers in one business or the other. Everything always falls on my head. It comes with too many responsibilities and expectations.
It is very challenging thing!

I must admit, na odogwu you be... I only hope those guys will reciprocate your kind gesture not necessarily to you alone but to others in need and not be entitled all their life.

zed7:
Marrying most Nigerian women is a challenge. Poverty rate in the country is too much that a lot of people see marriage as a form of poverty alleviation.
Your wife expects you to shoulder her responsibilities, her family expects you to also shoulder their responsibilities while your own family also expects you to shoulder their responsibilities.

That's why alot of struggling young men take forever to stabilise. Men should either marry from a comfortable home or marry a woman whose family has pride. Some families are not rich but they have pride and will never bother any in law. After all they were surviving all these years before in laws started coming.

BROS you no lie, but how does one get to know such persons as it's not written in the face and so many other factors to consider before one can even come to a conclusion that this is the real deal...

Same goes for some women too, as some men tend to carry their extended family matters for head and not doing enough for their immediate family and the children suffers most here.

missimelda01:

It's been two years since I made this post and I've been with a first son, would never do that again if I had to choose.
My point is that it goes both ways, being with someone who has to carry the burden of his family and dealing with my own responsibility is a lot even though it's just ‘dating’.

It takes love, patience and the grace of God to keep it going.

How many siblings you've got, if I may ask?

0neal:



How many siblings you've got, if I may ask?

My guy, e reach to ask ooo

missimelda01:
So I get this awkward reaction when a man asks for my position in my family and I say I'm the first child. I really want to know what the issue is...is it just the bride price??

My former neighbour married a lady from a poor home and she was the first child out of 9 siblings. Imidiately he married her, a large part of the family responsibilities fell on him. 3 of her siblings moved in with in after he got married with the rest always coming and going. He became their "go to" guy for things like JAMB, WAEC, medical fees and othe things. He was even the one paying their house rent in their family house. He was always sending feeding money to the family all the time. He practically shoulders his wife's siblings weddings and other celebrations.

Before he got married, my former neighbour was into private business and his business was flourishing. Now, he flat on his back and has even sold his car because he responsibility of catering for a large pooe family of his wife made him broke.




Cc: MrBrownJay1
UyaiIncomparabl

missimelda01:
So I get this awkward reaction when a man asks for my position in my family and I say I'm the first child. I really want to know what the issue is...is it just the bride price??

In most cases, that man don enter serious financial gbese.

Especially if the lady has younger ones still in school, and the family is struggling financially.

My cousin was still preparing for wedding, when the spouse-to-be younger sisters moved in with her into his house... The wretched bimbos couldn't even wait for them to be properly married first.

There shouldn't be any fuss about marrying a first child, if you marry from a responsible and we'll to do home, your wife and her siblings would have been established or close to being established before you marry her.

I wanted to marry a girl, I realise that she is the first, after her mum providing for her home she is the next to Provide!

Since I have been visiting have been spending money. But I have secretly run away because I can't take it, I won't take care of another person wahala...

So most at times older daughters and first daughter, they tend to carry loads and put it on your head as the Man who want them!
But this have to do with poor homes, not well to do homes

1. You're NOT her priority. She has a deeper bond with that kid than she can have with you especially if the kid is still young like below 18. She'll cheat on you to take care of that kid if it comes to that

2. The kid you have with her may be your first ki,but it's not her first. Your kid automatically has an elder sib, do with that information whatever you wish.

3. The father of her kid will/may be in her life for life.

4. At some point, you may have to play father to that kid, knowingly or unknowingly.

Curiouscity:


I am married to a 1st girl, but second child. They initially appeared down to earth. But like play, like play, I trained the last 2 siblings through the University. At the moment, she is expecting me to help set up her married brothers in one business or the other. Everything always falls on my head. It comes with too many responsibilities and expectations.
It is very challenging thing!

Baba what about ur own siblings?

Curiouscity:


I am married to a 1st girl, but second child. They initially appeared down to earth. But like play, like play, I trained the last 2 siblings through the University. At the moment, she is expecting me to help set up her married brothers in one business or the other. Everything always falls on my head. It comes with too many responsibilities and expectations.
It is very challenging thing!

my girl is the first child.

Just dating her responsibility her siblings responsibility don Dey fall on me

Food hardly last in my house
Her siblings her always around

Me on my own my I am also a first born

My family finance Dey on me
Siblings sch fees and parent welfare

I Dey mk much but fat I nur gree fat

Thinking wan Kill me
Pay this pay that

Curiouscity:


I am married to a 1st girl, but second child. They initially appeared down to earth. But like play, like play, I trained the last 2 siblings through the University. At the moment, she is expecting me to help set up her married brothers in one business or the other. Everything always falls on my head. It comes with too many responsibilities and expectations.
It is very challenging thing!

What if she's from a rich family.

missimelda01:
So I get this awkward reaction when a man asks for my position in my family and I say I'm the first child. I really want to know what the issue is...is it just the bride price??

first female child are park with whole lots of psychological problems

If you're the first child, don't marry another first child.

Especially if you're not very rich.

Marrying a Bread winner is very bad. First daughter is worst

missimelda01:
So I get this awkward reaction when a man asks for my position in my family and I say I'm the first child. I really want to know what the issue is...is it just the bride price??

I married a first child. Is awesome BUT there are some unpleasant characters I found out.

1. They are authoritative:
They think you are their junior brother and want to dominate you.

2. They focus more on their family than yours:
She cares more of her parents, siblings than yours.

MrBrownJay1:


stop hanging around immature insecure men... there is nothing wrong with you.

Simping wil lead you to your destruction if you aint careful.

E be like when you poor, you de drive old 1991 Honda accord when don die wake up , die again , then you jam road safety car from behind, and 1 of them come die ...................

poshestmina:
It all depends on the family background.
I feel most men are scared of the responsibilities that comes with being a first daughter if the family is all relying on the 1st daughters or son's...and in most cases of daughters,the responsibilities become their husband's.


My eldest sister has being happily married for close to 7 years now.
Not like we are very wealthy ,we just don't depend on each other,no entitlement whatsoever not even our parents!!!

Every body is hustling and only ask for helps when it's an emergency.

The only sibling we are still training in school is our last born and it's a joint task...and our parents, anything and anytime you have to send.

No pressure on anyone and any in_laws.

It all boils down to family backgrounds .

Exactly, don't just look at the would-be spouse mindset alone but also that of the family; especially if the person believes so much in the family.

decatalyst:


In most cases, it means more responsibilities and stress for the guy.

Let's not even talk about finances, he may not be ready to provide the needed leadership responsibilities for you and your siblings...it could be draining emotionally and financially.

It's a real man that looks beyond this and go for what he wants.

Stop typing jargon with this your "real man" nonsense! So, carrying a woman's responsibilities is what makes you a "real man"?

That's a f00lish man not a real man!

Me no get issues about marrying first child,just make sure you get only 1 junior sibling wey don finish sch too. .cant be paying sch fees for someone who is not my child .

MrBrownJay1:


if a man meets someone, care for that person, possibly fall in love with them then turns around and change his mind about that person, SOLELY because she is a 1st born, then i would be safe to say that this man is pretty immature, yes!

Maturity or not, as much as I struggled for my money, I'm not doing father Christmas for any inlaw or carrying anybodys responsibility or obligation. Let every man birth as much as he can train.

I will ensure my marriage gives me utmost peace of mind before i venture into it. I will be last person to marry a girl from a poor/broke/semi poor/average home. We fit Bleep oh, but no marriage.

ImaIma1:


It has nothing to do with being a real man. Parents should not abandon their own responsibilities and push them to their child and her husband to shoulder. It is a setup and if the guy refuses, they will say he's a bad person. Meanwhile they are the bad people for having children that they cannot cater for.

GBAM!