ebuka10box:
my brother I'm a house agent and I guess u know how hectic the work sounds. No one can tell me I'm lazy cuz I work hard..my brother if u had someone to make ur life easier and smoother I bet u won't be selling shoes. It's good u are also hardworking but do u think persons that induldge in evil acts love it or enjoy it if they had someone to guide them . There is nothing like man up right now in Nigeria cos u definitely need connections and God. U don't need to submit my cv to my my life better, there are other ways to make someone's life better. Y do u sound like an old generation father. Go and ask footballers or sportsmen why they enroll their kids into academies

clearly a spoilt brat ,brain washed by his mother.
If you like insult me also.

This is the honest truth about your situation. The first error I saw was when u said u stayed in hostel all tru ur studies. Where did u want to stay before? That's one.

Secondly, your dad being hesitant to send ur cv to his friends, what did u graduate with? Could it be he is ashamed of your result.
.
Thirdly nwanne, you have allowed your mother influence your thinking cos she is clearly the one telling u about his "side chicks" and has succeeded in POISONING your heart against your father.

Fourthly, your father's hesitation sending you abroad is as a result of his inability to see your potential either because you have none or have failed to show him.

At the end, why will your father send you to school of he didn't love u? Why are u feeling so entitled? He is earning 6 figures, it's his money not urs. Go and make something out of your life and plssss, stop letting your mother poison ur life, it won't help you. All the best

My Dad didn't pay my fees through school.
But I'm way ahead of that stage now.
These things don't define you.
They should make you stronger and not dependent on anyone, including your Mum.
By the way, what are you planning to go and do abroad? Hustle? Who foots the bill for that adventure? Your Mum? Or Dad? or Drugs?

ebuka10box:
Good evening nairalanders , I don't want to bore you with my life story but I need ur opinion on this . I know most of you are fathers and family people but please don't be sentimental on this. I was closer to my dad than than other members in the family when I was in university , I wasnt demanding despite the fact my dad was earning in 6 figures. I stayed in the hostel all through cause my dad always claimed that things weren't smooth when I knew fully well he was earning well. I graduated and I served , my mum was helpful in my service . She was always there when I called, flight ticket and accommodation in the north was paid by my mum. Where things got wrong:::: I rounded up my service hoping that my dad will help me by submitting cvs but my dad collected my cv numerous times and dumped it in his room and kept telling me he has submitted them to his friends while I was quite aware he didn't submit it. I found out my dad has a lotta side chics and he pays attention to them more , infact he doesn't give my siblings and I any keep up money , he doesnt care how we survive . My dad pays attention to his sister more than my mum, he doesn't give my mum a dime . I'm writing in English but serious he is a bad father and don't pray to be like him in future. I'm 27 but my dad doesn't care about my future. If I tell y'all hell I've been through , do u know how it feels suffering in the midst of plenty. I have received insults ,abuses from persons who I'm far better of in all ramifications but I count it all joy. My mum brought a suggestion to take me outta the county, guess what my dad said imma do drugs if I get there, things are not easy there, he said lot of crazy stuffs .what I've been through this few years after service..... Please I hate my dad right now and I don't wish him well right now.... Shout out to the mothers in the house. Please if u got a mother, respect her and don't pray to loose her. I have never known the worth of a mother till now...

Hey, you are about staring a journey of being a man without help

Being help, click on to your mum and see how the abroad stuff will work out and when you get there, do you family proud without doing drugs

Af for you dad and his side chicks, those ones are just the people he feels that makes him happy because of the fun he gets from them

As for your mum she suffered similar faith as you did on dad's neglect and still on it but looking up to you her children for for a better life with happiness

If the abroad stuff is not coming up, look for what you think you can start doing, if he helps you fine and if he refuses, leave him, one day he will be too old to help himself and depends on your people to manage things for him, that's why you will work on him

How come everyone on nairaland is a millionaire and living large from 22years? Maybe nairaland is different from Nigeria. How come all 27years old in nairaland are already settled in their own homes and I am seeing jobless and hopeless 30plus people around me? How come everyone on nairaland can do without their Fathers wealth, their brothers wealth and yet I see people living with their relatives daily. I think it's high time I start inviting people here so that they too can join gang of millionaires. Ndi Uchu, when you want to write your true story, you will change your moniker so that people won't see your fake life. Hypocrites, no wonder we are here as a nation, liars everywhere, forming what you are not. A father is not responsible for his children so who should be? Is buhari not responsible for his kids? How about Donald Trump? How won't a father be responsible for his children? Most of you came from dysfunctional family and see evil as good. A good father leaves inheritance for his children. Stop birthing kids you can't train!!! Op, don't hate him, pity him, you can imagine what some people are saying here, it shows your father is not alone. Continue to ignore him while you keep pushing, someday you will treat your kids differently.

Graxie:
How come everyone on nairaland is a millionaire and living large from 22years? Maybe nairaland is different from Nigeria. How come all 27years old in nairaland are already settled in their own homes and I am seeing jobless and hopeless 30plus people around me? How come everyone on nairaland can do without their Fathers wealth, their brothers wealth and yet I see people living with their relatives daily. I think it's high time I start inviting people here so that they too can join gang of millionaires. Ndi Uchu, when you want to write your true story, you will change your moniker so that people won't see your fake life. Hypocrites, no wonder we are here as a nation, liars everywhere, forming what you are not. A father is not responsible for his children so who should be? Is buhari not responsible for his kids? How about Donald Trump? How won't a father be responsible for his children? Most of you came from dysfunctional family and see evil as good. A good father leaves inheritance for his children. Stop birthing kids you can't train!!! Op, don't hate him, pity him, you can imagine what some people are saying here, it shows your father is not alone. Continue to ignore him while you keep pushing, someday you will treat your kids differently.

thank you so much for this.

some men after put their wife in family ways.they will refuse taking responsibility over them.

because you are okay you refuse to take care and help your children.

he has forgotten tomorrow is pregnant. empower them today so you will have peace

I wonder how horrid the comments would have been if OP replaced all the"dad" in his narration with "mum"...Bunch of hypocrites and I can see the females too saying trash(probably the side chicks on badoo)..Even if he was just cheating on his mum,dats enough to make a kid so sad and miserable..now imagine cheating on his mum,not giving his mum a dime,spending on the side chicks but not his kids,not even giving him a boost(just submit Cv and put in a good word for him)to start his career,something even a total stranger can do for you.
Everybody is forming hard man and invincible on nairaland, as if life is ever that easy. There is nobody that wouldn't be hurting if we were to be in OP's shoes. So allow him vent if it will help him feel better. Sorry dear..you deserve a hug and then some tough love so u can forget the modafvker.

Graxie:
How come everyone on nairaland is a millionaire and living large from 22years? Maybe nairaland is different from Nigeria. How come all 27years old in nairaland are already settled in their own homes and I am seeing jobless and hopeless 30plus people around me? How come everyone on nairaland can do without their Fathers wealth, their brothers wealth and yet I see people living with their relatives daily. I think it's high time I start inviting people here so that they too can join gang of millionaires. Ndi Uchu, when you want to write your true story, you will change your moniker so that people won't see your fake life. Hypocrites, no wonder we are here as a nation, liars everywhere, forming what you are not. A father is not responsible for his children so who should be? Is buhari not responsible for his kids? How about Donald Trump? How won't a father be responsible for his children? Most of you came from dysfunctional family and see evil as good. A good father leaves inheritance for his children. Stop birthing kids you can't train!!! Op, don't hate him, pity him, you can imagine what some people are saying here, it shows your father is not alone. Continue to ignore him while you keep pushing, someday you will treat your kids differently.

May God bless you for this point u made

ebuka10box:
May God bless you for this point u made

tell yourself the truth pls!

There's a sort of stupid ppl from dysfunctional homes who are trying to normalize evil. No wonder so many psychos abound here.

Instead of calling what the man is doing evil you are saying he doesn't owe his son.

Two jobless children at home and the father spends his wealth on strangers.
If as a parent you hold the key to bring happiness, fulfillment or advancement in ur wards life and for vain reasons you didn't, you are a failure.

I will go far away from him and face my life.posterity will settle our matter. You can't come and reap where you didn't sow. IT HURTS SO MUCH.

Rise up and face the world cos of your mother.
O Nwero ife n'eme Ebuka nwannem

such an irresponsible dad

@op,if I were you I would have left the house a long time ago. after your Nysc you shouldn't have bothered coming back home. you shouldn't have given him your CV, for what exactly? not just once, but multiple times. leave the house and go and hustle, same thing your sister should be doing. you shouldn't beg him to give you a better life that is what he must do__taking care of you and your sister not some random girls. and I hope those his babes will take care of him when he's old and sickly as he's taking care of them now.

All these ones that are talking trash here,shebi it was in the other thread that someone complained that his friend's wife refused to pay their kids school fees and other bills despite the fact that she was doing well, you all pounced on her and called her unprintable names but here they are now saying those bills are privileges just because the blame is on their fellow man...

Use your father to do Yahoo Yahoo.
Let his death bring money to your pockets.
Be smart .
Time waits for no one

You just have to be strong @ OP.

But why do people always say that DO NOT hate your father no matter what he has done. This is bullshit. I used to think i have a good father ( i later realized i was only naive to undertand the red flags, then i was young) until after my NYSC.

Now listen to this:

Just like the Origonal Poster, after i finished NYSC, my father collected copies of my CV, and made me to think that he's helping me towards getting employed, i didn't know he was pretending and wants me to grow old in his house. I thank God for the hustling spirit i have and a patient wife God gave me.

He went about visiting Alfas, Fulanis to check my star (this he mentioned to me himself) ... But why?, he's been wanting to halt my progress...

Truly, it was just after my NYSC POP that i started having this dream that someone stole my car, or my car tyres were stolen and replaced with bicycle tyres. I had these stupid dreams for 6yrs+, and on weekly basis.now i dont have that kind of dream anymore

All these attacks from my own father. What could i have done to warrant all these !, i did nothing.

He even mentioned to me face to face that at my age(last year, i was 33yrs) that i&my wife should still be living with him in his house and that we (wife and i) should still be collecting feeding money from him. Lol...i recorded all his utterances on my phone.

Slandering me&wife's image evrywhere. This and many more insults hurled at me and my wife and children.

My mind has been heavy for years. Maybe i will write something about this in the diary section someday.

Now with all these and many more, wont you hate your father?

I HATE HIM, AND I think about KILLING HIM WITH CUTLASS everyday (no exaggeration). He hurts my soul. I pray God will help me take revenge on him.

OP, be independent, move out from his house(it may not be easy but do something), stay away from him ooo, thank God you are not married yet so ask nothing from...and pray Hard!

ebuka10box:
I'm not depending on him but how has he made life any easier. Education is cool but u need funds to do major things and my dad doesn't support in any of that.. Everyone prays for a better life , I don't need to be pampered or spoilt but making my life easier is the key.... My mates are getting married and all that. I wanna be like that someday and I need a starting point. A father is meant to act like a feather for you to fly further. God in heaven is our father cause he know all our worries and provides for us, so is our father on earth meant to do so

You don't need to explain to any nutjob. Your pain is very valid. I can say we're in the same shoes, only that my father has never really had money right from when I was in nursery school, as far as I can remember. He has no sidechick as much as I know, doesn't drink or smoke but his allegiance is first with his brother. He doesn't give two fu. cks about we his children. Like we get absolutely nothing from him. I've grown used to it. I'd rather die single than ever marry a man like him.

yvelchstores:
This is the honest truth about your situation. The first error I saw was when u said u stayed in hostel all tru ur studies. Where did u want to stay before? That's one.

Secondly, your dad being hesitant to send ur cv to his friends, what did u graduate with? Could it be he is ashamed of your result.
.
Thirdly nwanne, you have allowed your mother influence your thinking cos she is clearly the one telling u about his "side chicks" and has succeeded in POISONING your heart against your father.

Fourthly, your father's hesitation sending you abroad is as a result of his inability to see your potential either because you have none or have failed to show him.

At the end, why will your father send you to school of he didn't love u? Why are u feeling so entitled? He is earning 6 figures, it's his money not urs. Go and make something out of your life and plssss, stop letting your mother poison ur life, it won't help you. All the best

Your mentality is upside down, I swear. So what if he's not proud of his result? Is that why he shouldn't help him? Do you know how many people have made it in this country with third class degree? And what's that nonsense you say about his mom poisoning his mind?
Madam pick-me, even at your best, you're a slave... to patriachy.

ebuka10box:
Good evening nairalanders , I don't want to bore you with my life story but I need ur opinion on this . I know most of you are fathers and family people but please don't be sentimental on this. I was closer to my dad than than other members in the family when I was in university , I wasnt demanding despite the fact my dad was earning in 6 figures. I stayed in the hostel all through cause my dad always claimed that things weren't smooth when I knew fully well he was earning well. I graduated and I served , my mum was helpful in my service . She was always there when I called, flight ticket and accommodation in the north was paid by my mum. Where things got wrong:::: I rounded up my service hoping that my dad will help me by submitting cvs but my dad collected my cv numerous times and dumped it in his room and kept telling me he has submitted them to his friends while I was quite aware he didn't submit it. I found out my dad has a lotta side chics and he pays attention to them more , infact he doesn't give my siblings and I any keep up money , he doesnt care how we survive . My dad pays attention to his sister more than my mum, he doesn't give my mum a dime . I'm writing in English but serious he is a bad father and don't pray to be like him in future. I'm 27 but my dad doesn't care about my future. If I tell y'all hell I've been through , do u know how it feels suffering in the midst of plenty. I have received insults ,abuses from persons who I'm far better of in all ramifications but I count it all joy. My mum brought a suggestion to take me outta the county, guess what my dad said imma do drugs if I get there, things are not easy there, he said lot of crazy stuffs .what I've been through this few years after service..... Please I hate my dad right now and I don't wish him well right now.... Shout out to the mothers in the house. Please if u got a mother, respect her and don't pray to loose her. I have never known the worth of a mother till now...

Although you are entitled to your own opinion,I still think your approach to is wrong and lacks tact.However,may I ask why you cannot run your own race? Bringing this issue here also is rather disrespectful and immature.Your stance may become a stumbling block to your progress in future.You will become a father someday.I wish you all the best.

xavuv:
You just have to be strong @ OP.

But why do people always say that DO NOT hate your father no matter what he has done. This is bullshit. I used to think i have a good father ( i later realized i was only naive to undertand the red flags, then i was young) until after my NYSC.

Now listen to this:

Just like the Origonal Poster, after i finished NYSC, my father collected copies of my CV, and made me to think that he's helping me towards getting employed, i didn't know he was pretending and wants me to grow old in his house. I thank God for the hustling spirit i have and a patient wife God gave me.

He went about visiting Alfas, Fulanis to check my star (this he mentioned to me himself) ... But why?, he's been wanting to halt my progress...

Truly, it was just after my NYSC POP that i started having this dream that someone stole my car, or my car tyres were stolen and replaced with bicycle tyres. I had these stupid dreams for 6yrs+, and on weekly basis.now i dont have that kind of dream anymore

All these attacks from my own father. What could i have done to warrant all these !, i did nothing.

He even mentioned to me face to face that at my age(last year, i was 33yrs) that i&my wife should still be living with him in his house and that we (wife and i) should still be collecting feeding money from him. Lol...i recorded all his utterances on my phone.

Slandering me&wife's image evrywhere. This and many more insults hurled at me and my wife and children.

My mind has been heavy for years. Maybe i will write something about this in the diary section someday.

Now with all these and many more, wont you hate your father?

I HATE HIM, AND I think about KILLING HIM WITH CUTLASS everyday (no exaggeration). He hurts my soul. I pray God will help me take revenge on him.

OP, be independent, move out from his house(it may not be easy but do something), stay away from him ooo, thank God you are not married yet so ask nothing from...and pray Hard!

my brother don't kill him , its gonna be good. One day we will get there and we are gonna be better parents. If I have a child I will make that child be proud of me, if I dey enjoy and my pikin dey suffer Wetin I gain na

orbitalgis:


Although you are entitled to your own opinion,I still think your approach to is wrong and lacks tact.However,may I ask why you cannot run your own race? Bringing this issue here also is rather disrespectful and immature.Your stance may become a stumbling block to your progress in future.You will become a father someday.I wish you all the best.

Ild be a better father someday, if e better for me e don better for my pikin definitely . Most parents are scared if u start earning big u will challenge them but they fail to realize the importance of a better life . Cr7, okocha, mikel and co are already securing ways for their kids in football academies so they won't suffer in life I rather not give birth than bring a child to regret, into pains that would later put him on the evil side

orbitalgis:


Although you are entitled to your own opinion,I still think your approach to is wrong and lacks tact.However,may I ask why you cannot run your own race? Bringing this issue here also is rather disrespectful and immature.Your stance may become a stumbling block to your progress in future.You will become a father someday.I wish you all the best.

Because sometimes catharsis is good for the soul. To be comforted and pushed on to strive. To know one isn't alone is a grand gesture for the weary. I respectfully disagree with your comment.

Chi59:

Your mentality is upside down, I swear. So what if he's not proud of his result? Is that why he shouldn't help him? Do you know how many people have made it in this country with third class degree? And what's that nonsense you say about his mom poisoning his mind?
Madam pick-me, even at your best, you're a slave... to patriachy.

ok ma. Bye now

ebuka10box:
my brother I'm a house agent and I guess u know how hectic the work sounds. No one can tell me I'm lazy cuz I work hard..my brother if u had someone to make ur life easier and smoother I bet u won't be selling shoes. It's good u are also hardworking but do u think persons that induldge in evil acts love it or enjoy it if they had someone to guide them . There is nothing like man up right now in Nigeria cos u definitely need connections and God. U don't need to submit my cv to my my life better, there are other ways to make someone's life better. Y do u sound like an old generation father. Go and ask footballers or sportsmen why they enroll their kids into academies

You can say that again. They like acting as if they're so tough. But if they had equal opportunities with you, they would not be suffering as they claim to have.
Your father is typical of most men nowadays. They want to have a wife to give them children, but they are not in the marriage. If you pass through nairaland you can see many young men buying into that lie. When they want to die alone they will begin to look for how to apologise and befriend the children because they believe that the child will always look for its father, so they can do whatever they want to. It's a false way to live as a man. Such quoted you above.

verifiablefacts:

clearly a spoilt brat ,brain washed by his mother.
If you like insult me also.

Explain the bold part to us.

rain21:
such an irresponsible dad

@op,if I were you I would have left the house a long time ago. after your Nysc you shouldn't have bothered coming back home. you shouldn't have given him your CV, for what exactly? not just once, but multiple times. leave the house and go and hustle, same thing your sister should be doing. you shouldn't beg him to give you a better life that is what he must do__taking care of you and your sister not some random girls. and I hope those his babes will take care of him when he's old and sickly as he's taking care of them now.

All these ones that are talking trash here,shebi it was in the other thread that someone complained that his friend's wife refused to pay their kids school fees and other bills despite the fact that she was doing well, you all pounced on her and called her unprintable names but here they are now saying those bills are privileges just because the blame is on their fellow man...

You have the same sort of damaged men dropping comments here. They believe in having a wife who will give them children, while they seek pleasures outside. Their family is just to have children, they care nothing for them. They have no emotions for the family. No care. The family is just the paperwork to which when people ask, they say "I am married with children".

When the fun is over and they are lonely, ugly, old and useless to the young blooded ones they normally pursue, they will begin to try and befriend the children they never wanted.

When these children find out they have been cheated of a true father, the men will begin to say the woman brainwashed the children and that they would be given a chance. Medicine after death.

xavuv:
You just have to be strong @ OP.

But why do people always say that DO NOT hate your father no matter what he has done. This is bullshit. I used to think i have a good father ( i later realized i was only naive to undertand the red flags, then i was young) until after my NYSC.

Now listen to this:

Just like the Origonal Poster, after i finished NYSC, my father collected copies of my CV, and made me to think that he's helping me towards getting employed, i didn't know he was pretending and wants me to grow old in his house. I thank God for the hustling spirit i have and a patient wife God gave me.

He went about visiting Alfas, Fulanis to check my star (this he mentioned to me himself) ... But why?, he's been wanting to halt my progress...

Truly, it was just after my NYSC POP that i started having this dream that someone stole my car, or my car tyres were stolen and replaced with bicycle tyres. I had these stupid dreams for 6yrs+, and on weekly basis.now i dont have that kind of dream anymore

All these attacks from my own father. What could i have done to warrant all these !, i did nothing.

He even mentioned to me face to face that at my age(last year, i was 33yrs) that i&my wife should still be living with him in his house and that we (wife and i) should still be collecting feeding money from him. Lol...i recorded all his utterances on my phone.

Slandering me&wife's image evrywhere. This and many more insults hurled at me and my wife and children.

My mind has been heavy for years. Maybe i will write something about this in the diary section someday.

Now with all these and many more, wont you hate your father?

I HATE HIM, AND I think about KILLING HIM WITH CUTLASS everyday (no exaggeration). He hurts my soul. I pray God will help me take revenge on him.

OP, be independent, move out from his house(it may not be easy but do something), stay away from him ooo, thank God you are not married yet so ask nothing from...and pray Hard!

Sorry, but the capitalized part is kind of funny. Must it be with a Cutlass? Lol. Kindly use success to drown him.

The people telling you not to hate an evil father are usually evil people themselves. Bet that when he is old he will one day call you and say he wants to make amends. And people will tell you to accept it and become his friend, to reward him for his evil. Well, you will know what to do to him then. I hope you won't open threads on pampering him like someone once did when that time comes. The you will become a father someday crew will come for you.

xavuv:
You just have to be strong @ OP.

But why do people always say that DO NOT hate your father no matter what he has done. This is bullshit. I used to think i have a good father ( i later realized i was only naive to undertand the red flags, then i was young) until after my NYSC.

Now listen to this:

Just like the Origonal Poster, after i finished NYSC, my father collected copies of my CV, and made me to think that he's helping me towards getting employed, i didn't know he was pretending and wants me to grow old in his house. I thank God for the hustling spirit i have and a patient wife God gave me.

He went about visiting Alfas, Fulanis to check my star (this he mentioned to me himself) ... But why?, he's been wanting to halt my progress...

Truly, it was just after my NYSC POP that i started having this dream that someone stole my car, or my car tyres were stolen and replaced with bicycle tyres. I had these stupid dreams for 6yrs+, and on weekly basis.now i dont have that kind of dream anymore

All these attacks from my own father. What could i have done to warrant all these !, i did nothing.

He even mentioned to me face to face that at my age(last year, i was 33yrs) that i&my wife should still be living with him in his house and that we (wife and i) should still be collecting feeding money from him. Lol...i recorded all his utterances on my phone.

Slandering me&wife's image evrywhere. This and many more insults hurled at me and my wife and children.

My mind has been heavy for years. Maybe i will write something about this in the diary section someday.

Now with all these and many more, wont you hate your father?

I HATE HIM, AND I think about KILLING HIM WITH CUTLASS everyday (no exaggeration). He hurts my soul. I pray God will help me take revenge on him.

OP, be independent, move out from his house(it may not be easy but do something), stay away from him ooo, thank God you are not married yet so ask nothing from...and pray Hard!

it is well.....

It is bro!

ebuka10box:
it is well.....

Graxie:
How come everyone on nairaland is a millionaire and living large from 22years? Maybe nairaland is different from Nigeria. How come all 27years old in nairaland are already settled in their own homes and I am seeing jobless and hopeless 30plus people around me? How come everyone on nairaland can do without their Fathers wealth, their brothers wealth and yet I see people living with their relatives daily. I think it's high time I start inviting people here so that they too can join gang of millionaires. Ndi Uchu, when you want to write your true story, you will change your moniker so that people won't see your fake life. Hypocrites, no wonder we are here as a nation, liars everywhere, forming what you are not. A father is not responsible for his children so who should be? Is buhari not responsible for his kids? How about Donald Trump? How won't a father be responsible for his children? Most of you came from dysfunctional family and see evil as good. A good father leaves inheritance for his children. Stop birthing kids you can't train!!! Op, don't hate him, pity him, you can imagine what some people are saying here, it shows your father is not alone. Continue to ignore him while you keep pushing, someday you will treat your kids differently.

I love this.

Thanks for this wonderful input.