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RisenPhoenix:


It is embittering that
1. The husband failed to keep his side of the agreement to keep family members out.
2. The said family member takes up her space and still disrespects her to boot.

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She should go to court if aggrieved

Doveyvia:


Yo too small for me to exchange words with, toddles baby girl

I like the way you reply dat troll. That's a strong personality. Why can't you use dat personality to tame your disrespectful SIL?

Please be patient with her.

TonyeBarcanista:
[s][/s]
She should go to court if aggrieved

Childish. Is that how you solve your marital problems? The husband is clearly in the wrong here and the first step should be to appeal to his sense of reason.

IamD18:
Would you have complained like this if she was your own sister?

You just wanted to type

Didn't u read? Would her own younger sister call her by her name?

Would her younger sister not help in house chores?

I Wonder how her hubby feels anytime she calls her wife by her first name ?

Doveyvia:


My husband said she'll be going to school from home, so, I'll have to put up with her for about 4 more years

I assume she's way younger than you are.

Don't be nasty towards her.

When you are in the kitchen call her and ask her to do stuff for you. If you need beans or pepper grounded, call her and send her on that errand.

Make sure she helps around the house.

Yes, she is your in law, but she's also your younger sister.

Don't disrespect her, but let her know subtly that she's in YOUR home.

You don't need to report or always run crying to your husband.

If she resents going on errands for you, let her go talk to your husband maybe he can arrange an accomodation for her elsewhere.

But as long as she is staying with you guys, she must PARTICIPATE.

When she gets admission, she'll beg her brother to let her stay on campus.

TonyeBarcanista:

Okay guy.

The OP is just embittered that her husband is accommodating his younger sister... Simpl

You're too childish. Did you read what she wrote or you don't care to read it ? Both partners agreed that they won't house their relatives. Now her in law has been with them for 5 months and she is disrespectful plus she doesn't help with house chores


OP, since you are her senior, send her on erands, let her help you with chores if she refuses report to your husband and watch how he reacts. If he doesn't do anything about it then know that it is because of him that she's being disrespectful towards you but if he takes positive action then continue to accommodate her but remind him of your agreement. As for her calling you by your name, tell her upfront that she should call you by your child's name, if she refuses report to your hubby and watch how he reacts, draw your conclusions as highlighted above

I am so sure OP's husband will be so bittered if his wife's younger brother calls him by his name and the wife does nothing about it.

What is bad is bad.....Op's husband should put his house in order.

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travelland:


You're too childish. Did you read what she wrote or you don't care to read it ? Both partners agreed that they won't house their relatives. Now her in law has been with them for 5 months and she is disrespectful plus she doesn't help with house chores


OP, since you are her senior, send her on erands, let her help you with chores if she refuses report to your husband and watch how he reacts. If he doesn't do anything about it then know that it is because of him that she's being disrespectful towards you but if he takes positive action then continue to accommodate her but remind him of your agreement. As for her calling you by your name, tell her upfront that she should call you by your child's name, if she refuses report to your hubby and watch how he reacts, draw your conclusions as highlighted above

[/s]
OP should go and rent or build her own apartment if she doesn't want her hubby to accommodate his relatives.

Too many embittered wives always wanting to separate families!

jenifer007:
I am so sure OP's husband will be so bittered if his wife's younger brother calls him by his name and the wife does nothing about it.

What is bad is bad.....Op's husband should put his house in order.

OP's wife younger brother can call him by his name in his own house or his father's house, not OP's husband house.

OP like many wives is simply bittered that her SiL is living with them. I have the feeling that you share same divisive ideology with her going by your comment.

Thank God I live in a place where inlaws won't even dare travel to come to.

TrendsSecurity:
If you're not Yoruba, you can not understand this lady's plight. Forget that the lady is not helping with house chores, you see that addressing by the first name and she can't address her by her first name cos she's 'Iya Oko' can be very painful. Imagine, a secondary school leaver o! She's so insolent. What I see is that the problem is with the husband. I can't let anyone disrespect my wife like that, it's bad

Gbam

[quote author=Skyfornia post=86639992]Na waoo...drinking panadol for nothing. She called you by your name and so what? You want her to address you by another name?? I don't know why some people are bothered by this. I think it is illiteracy.

That's how I addressed my client by her name and she said I should call her 'Mama Hansen' instead.
;
Mama Hansen my foot!![/quot

You won't understand if you ain't Yoruba, that's how they are it happened to me they left my first name and started calling me by my kid's name I tell everyone that does that I don't like such cux I see it as disrespect

Doveyvia:


So, it's cool I call her aunty while she doesn't reciprocate? No problem.

Call her by name pls, or you just simply call her sister inlaw or inlaw. Na d aunty wey u dey call her dey swell her head and your husband is d bigger problem to tell u d truth

RisenPhoenix:
Put your foot down. While I am a strong supporter of the traditional home where the husband rules supreme, this rule should not be misused to become oppressive. A woman has a right to feel safe in her own home and should be given every opportunity to be so. Table your grievances politely at first, then remind him of your past agreement while stressing that you might have considered permiting her stay if she was more helpful and polite, but she isn't. If after a day or two he does not formulate a satisfactory plan on which she will leave the home, then repeat it once more a week later and tell him that you will pack out until she leaves. Don't shout, don't insult and don't cry; don't go emotional and remain calm and logical at all times while not witholding food or sex etc before the deadline. He will take you seriously if he wants to remain married to you.

And if he doesn’t but calls her bluff?

TonyeBarcanista:

OP's wife younger brother can call him by his name in his own house or his father's house, not OP's husband house.

OP like many wives is simply bittered that her SiL is living with them. I have the feeling that you share same divisive ideology with her going by your comment.

Just hush it Mr man.....Otondo

I think you should speak out.
Tell her what you want her to address you.
Since you have a child, you can tell her to hold the baby while you do other things.
You are older than her, so you have to correct her.
You can ask her to cook, she is a big girl, I believe she can cook.
Involve her

TonyeBarcanista:

OP's wife younger brother can call him by his name in his own house or his father's house, not OP's husband house.

OP like many wives is simply bittered that her SiL is living with them. I have the feeling that you share same divisive ideology with her going by your comment.

Quick question, are you really this daft? Even your fellow guys here see reasons with Op, but you choose to be intentionally slow, why?

Fountainofyouth:



Quick question, are you really this daft?

It depends on how you see it

Even your fellow guys here see reasons with Op, but you choose to be intentionally slow, why?

Exactly! I neither desire popular support nor the validation of your kind

Some men sef. A woman tells you she doesn't want live-in in-laws, and he agreed?? What kind of men are we breeding in this generation?

Btw, what's your definition of live-in in-laws? I hope you're aware no in-law would come and live with you forever? To say my family must not stay in our house beyond a week is total nonsense.

While moderation and understanding is KEY, I will entertain families and relatives on both sides. There will be moderation but to place everyone on a one-week timeline or ban them outrightly is senseless and wicked.

blessedqueen:


And if he doesn’t but calls her bluff?

Then she calls his. I did not mean her step to be a bluff. I never endorse making threats that one is not ready to fulfill.

Acidosis:
Some men sef. A woman tells you she doesn't want live-in in-laws, and he agreed?? What kind of men are we breeding in this generation?

Btw, what's your definition of live-in in-laws? I hope you're aware no in-law would come and live with you forever? To say my family must not stay in our house beyond a week is total nonsense.

While moderation and understanding is KEY, I will entertain families and relatives on both sides. There will be moderation but to place everyone on a one-week timeline or ban them outrightly is senseless and wicked.

There's a reason why the Bible says a man will leave his parents and cleave to his wife. A marriage of 2 yrs is too young to have someone staying permanently as in the op's case, where was she staying before they got married? What happened to their parents house? I can't imagine myself going to live with my siblings for any reason neither will any of my siblings try that nonsense , I will send them to their fathers house, they know how much I love my privacy.

TonyeBarcanista:
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OP should go and rent or build her own apartment if she doesn't want her hubby to accommodate his relatives.

Too many embittered wives always wanting to separate families!

Any sibling that takes offence because of something like this is not worth it at all.


Do you know if they both pay the rent or they both built the house?

dingbang:
Thank God I live in a place where inlaws won't even dare travel to come to.

I swear, the best thing is to marry and travel out , case solved. But some family members will still find their way there, you don't know this people.

You see this in law thing is wisdom. But she calling you by your name even when you are older than her, kindly remove the respect you put in her name as well. If it's Aunty B , start calling B . Very simple something. Some will come visiting and expect you to do every thing for them. I always tell people don't start what you can not finish

elantraceey:


There's a reason why the Bible says a man will leave his parents and cleave to his wife. A marriage of 2 yrs is too young to have someone staying permanently as in the op's case, where was she staying before they got married? What happened to their parents house? I can't imagine myself going to live with my siblings for any reason neither will any of my siblings try that nonsense , I will send them to their fathers house, they know how much I love my privacy.

The "leave" in that passage doesn't mean you should not entertain guests. As a matter of fact, hospitality is a sign that you're a child of God. You can't show hospitality by banning your own flesh and blood from your home (Check Isaiah 58:7).

elantraceey:



I swear, the best thing is to marry and travel out , case solved. But some family members will still find their way there, you don't know this people.

lmao... Make them save money for visa na..their eye go clear

elantraceey:


Any sibling that takes offence because of something like this is not worth it at all.


Do you know if they both pay the rent or they both built the house?

But in this case they don't! Wives should get used to the fact that not many men are stupid to abandon their relatives just to satisfy their selfish and egoistic desires

elantraceey:


There's a reason why the Bible says a man will leave his parents and cleave to his wife. A marriage of 2 yrs is too young to have someone staying permanently as in the op's case, where was she staying before they got married? What happened to their parents house? I can't imagine myself going to live with my siblings for any reason neither will any of my siblings try that nonsense , I will send them to their fathers house, they know how much I love my privacy.

That passage simply means a man should be independent when he is of age. It doesn't imply men divorcing themselves from their relatives.

TonyeBarcanista:

That passage simply means a man should be independent when he is of age. It doesn't imply men divorcing themselves from their relatives.

Hello boo boo ...didn't received my Val gift

Acidosis:


The "leave" in that passage doesn't mean you should not entertain guests. As a matter of fact, hospitality is a sign that you're a child of God. You can't show hospitality by banning your own flesh and blood from your home (Check Isaiah 58:7).

Nobody said they shouldn't visit, but they should have enough sense to give a young couple their privacy .