There was this lady I dated back 2010 and about to marry but due to infidelity I stopped the marriage process. She did all her antics for me to return back to her but failed. I got married in 2011 to another lady and she also got married to another man in 2013, presently have 3 children in the marriage.

However, she continued with her antics of trying to call me to be friends, wanting to know where I was transferred to as my work involves movement. She once told me she doesn't mind flying down to give me good sex anytime she knows where I am. That day, I gave her the insult of her life. I cant imagine a married woman coming to stay with me for some days when I have my wife somewhere. Recently, she came up with a story of having a 9 yrs old daughter for me with confidence. That if I am in doubt, I should conduct a DNA on the child. She sent me pics of the girl and said she doesn't need any help from me as she is very buoyant to take care of the girl. She kept the girl with her aunty. The girl is schooling at the aunt's place and doing well judging by the pics. I asked her when did she take in and have a child as at dat time, she told me she left with pregnancy b4 i got married and delivered after I was married.

Gentlemen, I have a sweet wife with 3 handsome and brilliant boys. I would not want to bring anything to destabilize my family. Good people of nairaland, how do I start telling my wife that the promiscuous lady I dumped for u is claiming to have a daughter for me. Pls ur advice pls my people.

The one thing I can say here is: be truthful to your wife. I love that you have principles and don't want anything to do with you ex, besides, your ex had the child without your knowledge, so any sensible woman will understand. Hopefully.

My advice: let your wife know all these things, from a-z. Assure her that you want nothing with your ex and I believe she'll support you in getting to know your child.

Cc healthserve,
Xhosanostra

Come drop your two cents too.

OP.. I for say, e don happen be say e don happen

But, it could still be one of her antics in getting to you. I know you're worried now but don't make the mistakes of giving in to her.

Meet with your wife and tell her what's up. This would boost your guard around the snake of a woman.

Go ahead to do a DNA test... Confirm if she's your child. If yes, don't panic and do not try to involved her husband either.

Get a lawyer to document everything ..pledge your support in taking care of the child and do accordingly.

Bros, get a good and discrete lawyer, ask them to meet up to get the child's DNA. Go with her to any reputable lab where you are and confirm if she's your child or not.

You are only bound by law to take care of your daughter based on what you can afford. You do not have to marry her mother. If she's your child, a good wife would understand it was an issue that occurred before you settled down and accept it as God's will.

In case your ex is telling a lie, she'll back off by the time a lawyer is involved. But do not ignore what she said about her paternity. Who knows, she could be your daughter. Women have been dashing people pregnancy from time immemorial... I'm not surprised.

May we not be dashed another man's pregnancy o!

Go for DNA asap

Sixfeetbelle:
The one thing I can say here is: be truthful to your wife. I love that you have principles and don't want anything to do with you ex, besides, your ex had the child without your knowledge, so any sensible woman will understand. Hopefully.

My advice: let your wife know all these things, from a-z. Assure her that you want nothing with your ex and I believe she'll support you in getting to know your child.

Cc healthserve,
Xhosanostra

Come drop your two cents too.

W

You had better tell your wife to avoid future problems...

healthserve:



Will you come receive my opinion in person?

I want to ooh. It's not like I don't want, but,...

Sixfeetbelle:


I want to ooh. It's not like I don't want, but,...

K

Do not be smart to tell yourself, let me go and do the DNA test first, if it's positive, then i can tell my wife.
leave what you are doing now, if you are far from her, start travelling back home immediately. Lay the matter bare for her

healthserve:



Coman say it privately

Say what privately??

I don't even remember what I wanted to say sef

Sixfeetbelle:


Say what privately??

I don't even remember what I wanted to say sef

Dem dey talk serious mata here, una two dey do love nwantiti abi?

Well, if her claim is true then it's not a problem. Simply tell your wife the whole story and be in your child's life, let her meet her brothers too. Its really not a problem as it happened before you got married.

But ensure you get the DNA before investing emotions, money or even telling your family... Good luck.

If your wife know about your ex and her kind of person, then you don't need to be afraid tell her everything including when she says she want to give you good sex (this part might be hard) if she trust you no problem then you, your wife and your ex should go 4 DNA text, don't go alone , you don't know her plans, and yo avoid stories that touch

After watching The Photograph the other day and Issa Rae finding out that man is her daddy,this is very much possible, lol. Simply get a DNA test done asap to find out the truth. If y

She's lying, and just wants to ensure you keep in contact with her
Stop picking her calls. Block her on all social media.
In the meantime, find out all about her husband- his social media handles, his workplace, his friends and family.
If she tries contacting you again with all the nonsense, report her to her husband

Block her everywhere. On your phone calls, WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook. Do away with negative energy. But, wait ooo, so you were dating a runs girl.

The way people mention this DNA thing, has it gone really cheap now? Cos last time I remember it’s about a 100k+

The economy isn’t smiling and coughing out a 100k from ur salary just to confirm paternity might not seem any funny. Nonetheless, it’s ideal to do it

something tells me she is lying

This is the reason why self control is best. Now you have fathered offsprings that you know nothing about. Go for DNA test and if the child is yours, take charge and be a good Father. Female offspring will remember you in old age, take note. Your wife is not barren, she already has three children I don't think she will have a big issue with your daughter, if proved.

Tell your wife anyway. From your story, it doesn’t seem like you’ve done anything wrong to your wife so tell her the truth. It will be easier to manage once both of you are on board.

cococandy:
Tell your wife anyway. From your story, it doesn’t seem like you’ve done anything wrong to your wife so tell her the truth. It will be easier to manage once both of you are on board.

Happy birthday!

travelland:


Happy birthday!

thanks

Complicated stuff. First, do a DNA test, if the child is yours take your wife on a romantic trip and open up to her while you're there, tell her everything that transpired between you and the other lady. Ask her if she will accept the child, if she agrees, thank God, treat all your kids equally and you will have a happy home, if she refuses, keep any issue with your daughter between you and your daughter mum and leave your wife out of it for now until she can accept your kid. If the child is not yours, cut off all contact with that witch. Good luck

osundu:
There was this lady I dated back 2010 and about to marry but due to infidelity I stopped the marriage process. She did all her antics for me to return back to her but failed. I got married in 2011 to another lady and she also got married to another man in 2013, presently have 3 children in the marriage.

However, she continued with her antics of trying to call me to be friends, wanting to know where I was transferred to as my work involves movement. She once told me she doesn't mind flying down to give me good sex anytime she knows where I am. That day, I gave her the insult of her life. I cant imagine a married woman coming to stay with me for some days when I have my wife somewhere. Recently, she came up with a story of having a 9 yrs old daughter for me with confidence. That if I am in doubt, I should conduct a DNA on the child. She sent me pics of the girl and said she doesn't need any help from me as she is very buoyant to take care of the girl. She kept the girl with her aunty. The girl is schooling at the aunt's place and doing well judging by the pics. I asked her when did she take in and have a child as at dat time, she told me she left with pregnancy b4 i got married and delivered after I was married.

Gentlemen, I have a sweet wife with 3 handsome and brilliant boys. I would not want to bring anything to destabilize my family. Good people of nairaland, how do I start telling my wife that the promiscuous lady I dumped for u is claiming to have a daughter for me. Pls ur advice pls my people.

I don't think she's telling the truth, otherwise, she would have told you back then that she was pregnant for you to try to force you back into her life.
You did say she tried all she could to get back with you; how come she left out that "little" detail?
Anyways, you can verify through a DNA test first, before telling your wife to save her some unnecessary stress.

Please disregard her story and keep on moving on with ur present family. She might be deceiving u bcoz of her personal reason's. Ur present family is worth more than gold and u are a better man now with ur present family, so moved on