When setting goals for a new year, it is not uncommon to find matured and responsible brothers and sisters having nikkah on thier to-do-list, among other goals.

Time for stock taking viz a viz nikkah. Who are those who were able to secure 50% of faith, ? i say barakalahu fihi

those who did not, what were your challenges/how soon do we get invited under the current year

I didnt, maybe i was unrealistic when i planned this year cuz i didnt have a partner at the begining of the year, but most importantly, my would be mother in-law has refused to accept my 'candidacy' as a son in law on tribal grounds,

lets get talking mu'min

hey yah sorry fizzy baba,dnt worry your muslima would come.
Asalamu Aleikum to you

Sallam Fizzy,

Nakkai is not a thing of rush but an institution of caution,
InshaAllah by the rite time u shall get there with the rite muslimah.

Nakkai was on my list  early dis  year and all the arrangement was gradually going out but i hav to personally quit every thing both the arrangement and the man cos i was not too sure if he can take my to the promise land (Al Janna) religiously cos i thing he is not spiritually/religiously  advanced for me, i see him as a snail beside d rate in which i grow religiously.

@alimat,asalamu aleikum,but why did it take you long to discover about his slowness in religion,dnt you know his strenght at the initial?while am saying this is because Allah also warns us not to use our  own hands destroy ourselves,and as the yoruba says,Asiko obirin kin pe su,so we all have to do it wisely and fast,dnt turn down offers from men even if you have to be careful at how to chooose one,you dnt be too choosy because no one is perfect in the deen,most men are trying thier bset to be better in the deen insha Allah,so be careful,you might even be the one that will strenghten him more when married,though am not suggesting you consider someone that lacks total knowledge of islam as thier are men like that and they still consider themselves as muslims,, just my advice  hope you reply me cos you've been avoiding my post since i got married even on facebook.take care ,yours is coming soon insha Allah.

uplawal:

@alimat,asalamu aleikum,but why did it take you long to discover about his slowness in religion,dnt you know his strenght at the initial?while am saying this is because Allah also warns us not to use our  own hands destroy ourselves,and as the yoruba says,Asiko obirin kin pe su,so we all have to do it wisely and fast,dnt turn down offers from men even if you have to be careful at how to chooose one,you dnt be too choosy because no one is perfect in the deen,most men are trying thier bset to be better in the deen insha Allah,so be careful,you might even be the one that will strenghten him more when married,though am not suggesting you consider someone that lacks total knowledge of islam as thier are men like that and they still consider themselves as muslims,, just my advice  hope you reply me cos you've been avoiding my post since i got married even on facebook.take care ,yours is coming soon insha Allah.

Uplawal has a point there. but at the same time, I think alimat has a good reason and may Allah reward her for the bold step she took. She was the one involved, she knew the man and she knows what she wants in a husband. You know, at times, we see muslim brothers who have delimited the level of hijab they want for their their future wife. If a sister who aspires to continue growing in the deen meets such man, won't she quit the relationship?

Generally speaking, it's good to set our standards of the kind of partner we want that make us fulfilled, Islamically and otherwise so we won't regret the union. Although at the same time, we shouldn't be too strict on standards because we can't get 100% of what we want in one man/woman.

@OP

This year, I felt fulfilled and greatful to Allah: i prayed for two dear sisters to be married this year and it happened just like that, infact, their nikkah was a week away from each other, and we didn't even plan it that way.

May Allah grant us our heart desires

@ Alimat, indeed an institution of caution.i wont spend my entire prime excercising caution sha o

@uplawal: why would you think aunty alima2 does not want to respond to you, barakalahu fihi in ur marriage

@zahyal: well said

@fizzybaba,cos i sent her numerous text and she dnt reply on facebook

Nikah is on my list 4 2011. I pray it goes as pland.

@alimat2, totally undastand ur situation, in a similar dillema myself. Tryin me best 2 get my priorities straight and think with my head nt ma heart. Ultimately, i pray 4 Allah's guidance 2 take da path dat wud guide 2 jannah.

xoxo, :

Nikah is on my list 4 2011. I pray it goes as pland.

@alimat2, totally undastand your situation, in a similar dillema myself. Tryin me best 2 get my priorities straight and think with my head nt ma heart. Ultimately, i pray 4 Allah's guidance 2 take da path dat wud guide 2 jannah.

Amin. May Allah ease it for you and other intendees

mashallah

Was looking for 'What's happening in your life' thread to declare therein when I saw this. What a co-incidence.

JARUS COMPLETES 50%
My aqeedu Nikka holds as follows:

Date: January 2nd, 2011
Venue: Phase 1, Airforce base, by Oando Filling station, Oloje, Ilorin, Kwara state

Wolimatul Nikka holds at a later date during the year insha Allah.

Hajj & Hajia Jarus invite you

Congratulations,may Allah bless the union,Allah omu ojo duro o,insha Allah.

MY STORY:
It was a very turbulent search period that lasted for 4 years(2006 to 2010), which I have discussed here in the thread on what's happening in your life, but alhamdulilah it's ending. I'm finally being inducted into post-bachelor life.

I never expected it will take this long for me to marry. Not because I'm very old(clocked 28 in August) but because of  the dimension the whole thing took.
My plan was actually to marry before 27. 27 hit the tape, no show; 28, no show. It was difficult, there was pressure from home, from friends who had married and expected me to have done so too. The most disturbing path was that I never had a relationship that lasted 6 months. The whole thing kept falling like a pack of cards, most times the fault being mine, and sometimes from the other party. Even this one that I'm eventually taking to the 'mimbar', I had called it quit on two ocassions before giving myself brain that: what else do you want, Jarus? Alhamdulilah, I'm happy I'm crossing this stage. It was really difficult. But the main lesson is that please let's be prayerful. The main mistake I made in the past was that I wanted a totally faultless lady, but the reality is no human is perfect. But it took me long to digest thsi reality.

So insha Allah, come January 2nd 2011, at Ilorin, I will be completing 50% of my deen. The January 2nd event is not going to be so elaborate, just something like a 100-people event, but at a date to be announced later, I'll be having a close-down-the-street wolimatul nikka   You will be invited for that one too insha Allah.

@Jarus,am happy for you,but youre not too old getting married,what about men that wait till 30,32,34,33 etc,but all the same,its always good to marry early,also to prevent fornication. like you said,no 100% flawlesslady,likewise men too,we are just here to manage our differences,but there are some diferences that are too huge to manage o,my people dnt go and manage such diffrences,particularly if it has to do with the deen.

Is she from your town too?

@Alimat2: « #3 on: December 23, 2010, 05:14 PM »
[Quote]Nakkai was on my list early dis year and all the arrangement was gradually going out but i hav to personally quit every thing both the arrangement and the man cos i was not too sure if he can take my to the promise land (Al Janna) religiously cos i thing he is not spiritually/religiously advanced for me, i see him as a snail beside d rate in which i grow religiously.[/Quote]Make Dua to Allah to get you the best Muslim man to be your husband for life, and both of you can be in Jannah, together. A muslim man does not have to be the scholar in the house, or a scholar at all to be a good husband to help you and himself, whereby the same is for to help him and yourself so that you can be people of Paradise.

A scholar may actually be a horrid husband, and he may be full of himself. A man who is level headed, even new in Islam, should not be ignored as a suitor; the reason you make Dua constantly and perform Istekarah for Allah's Guidance. Please dont spend so much time looking for Mr. Perfect, because there is no perfection in any man here. We men are as vulnerable as the women, too. For me, as a man, I would not shy away from taking a new muslima for a wife; she will be a project for me, and I for her and both of us for Allah.

My sister, make your Niyyah and work hard on it. InshaAllah you will find a lifelong husband. The man for your life here and afterlife in Paradise.

I congratulate all the married and just about to marry. May Allah make your marriages beneficial to you in this world and in after with believing children. Amin.

it appears my thread have been 'hijacked' but its fine by me

barakalahu fihi to the hijacker cum moderator,

I just hope my story does not end up like jarus's

i am not 28 yet but nikkah is on top of my agenda. number one as a matter of fact

i have had to call my previous two rlp off.

First Relationship, cuz of distance which lead to doubts. i had to pull the lid off to have peace of mind.

Second relationship, i called it off cuz the sister was perenially in doubt as to my financial capacity to take care of her. Can you imagine what formed the basis of her opinion? the kind of phone i use. its one of those cheap phones i had then.Plus there was a time she called and i told her i was eating, asked me what and i said garri, GBAM! that was my 'undoing'

third rlp is where i am right nw, supposed/would be mother in law is against my rlp with her daughter! I am praying and hoping she will have a change of heart, for how long?

Uplawal,
She is from Ilorin, I'm from Offa, but she grew up in Offa.

@Jarus,that cool,good match

@fizzybaba,the those girls you mentioned dnt like you,maybe the last one sha except his parents

uplawal:

@Jarus,that cool,good match

@fizzybaba,the those girls you mentioned dnt like you,maybe the last one sha except his parents

i couldnt agree more, am still with the last one, but i dont know how long the waiting game would last

i am not 28 yet but nikkah is on top of my agenda. number one as a matter of fact.

Age is just a number. A man is as old as he feels. I married when I was 32 years old when I got married and I still look younger than my age now.

i have had to call my previous two rlp off.

First Relationship, cuz of distance which lead to doubts. i had to pull the lid off to have peace of mind.

Well, distance could be a hindrance at times but I was staying in Egbeda while my wife was staying at Ojo. It all depends on trust.

Second relationship, i called it off cuz the sister was perenially in doubt as to my financial capacity to take care of her. Can you imagine what formed the basis of her opinion? the kind of phone i use. its one of those cheap phones i had then.

RFLMAO

Plus there was a time she called and i told her i was eating, asked me what and i said garri, GBAM! that was my 'undoing'

She is interested in what you have to offer (cash wise) and not in you as an individual.

third rlp is where i am right nw, supposed/would be mother in law is against my rlp with her daughter! I am praying and hoping she will have a change of heart, for how long?

A big amin for you.

@BABS, Jazaks

I can't help saying Subhanallah for hearing jarus Nikkah is approach May Allah s.w.t bless your union Ameen.

Ameen.

Congrats Jarus.

alimat 2:

Sallam Fizzy,

Nakkai is not a thing of rush but an institution of caution,
InshaAllah by the rite time u shall get there with the rite muslimah.

There is no reason to delay nikah, get married as soon as possible to combat the pressure of Zina. If your reason is economy, I like to say that resources spent these days on boy friend / girl friend relationship is enough to run a decent Muslim home both of your would grow together.
From personal experience, I can tell you that marriage do bring blessing to couples, since both of your would be praying together. If I have my way my daughters would marry at 21 and the boys at 25, insah Allah.

Salamalaykum all,

I also look forward to getting married this year. I pray Allah (SWT) makes it possible.

@ Jarus, congratulations, @ fizzybaba, wish you all the best.

jazaks ronkeenuf

Insha Allah

I have started proceedings. This year is looking better

@Jarus,happy married life,may Allah put his barka in it,amin.

fizzybaba:

jazaks ronkeenuf

Insha Allah

I have started proceedings. This year is looking better

Alhamdulilah

Amin, all.

@ Jarus congrats

Jazakumullahu khaeran