Back in the day when I used to date, my ex came to my house straight from the hospital looking really depressed. He said all the male patients he attended to had their female relative taking care of them. Could be their wife, mother, sister, daughter or inlaw. Whereas all the female patients had not one single male relative.

He said there were elderly patients who had been at the hospital for months and for one day, their sons never visited. Their daughters would raise money and still alternate the nursing duties.

Daughter one will stay one month. Daughter 2 will stay the next. Daughter 3 will stay. And so on.

All the sons do is call on phone. That's all. Not one visit. Yet the sons are always listed as next of kin.

Interestingly, most of these women were married and had jobs in faraway cities. Some had to give up their jobs, some had to take leave, while some had to ask to be transferred just so they could take care of their parents. Some of them actually go to work from there.

He ended it by saying he wanted girls. That didn't sit right with me because it seemed he wanted girls as potential caregivers and nothing more. But since I knew I wasn't going to be the mother of those bedside daughters, I kept my thoughts to myself.

Apart from the stats he pulled from the hospital, I noticed same trend in our society.

Husband is sick. Wife cares for him. Carries him everywhere. Does everything for him. Stays with him at the hospital. Gets a loan to use and blablabla.

Wife is sick. Wife's relatives come to take care of her. Wife's relatives carry her everywhere. Wife's relatives do everything for her. Wife's relatives stay with her at the hospital. Wife's relatives get a loan to use and blablabla. Husband starts cheating to relieve the "stress" of his wife's sickness.

I thought this was a Nigerian/African thing, but it is not. It is a universal thing.

In the western world, only 3% of wives leave their husbands when they are ill. But among women, about 21% of husbands leave their wives after they became ill. The men leave within 6 months of the diagnosis. This one is not from the bureau of inverifiable facts. This was from a detailed research that studied men and women and their fight or flight reactions to spousal illhealth.

I don't know where I'm going with this but I just wanted to remind you, woman, to put yourself first.

When shit hits the fan, you are all you've got.

These men ain't loyal!!

Copied

You don carry your mumu from Romance section come here!!!

Both you and the person you copied this piece of shiiiit from are insane!

That your dad isn't always with you like your mum when sick doesn't mean he isn't trying his best out there to cater for you to be cured and recovered!!

Shock the world as a Nigerian lady by sounding reasonable.

Daughters are to stay with their parents at the hospital while the sons go and hustle money for hospital bills. If everyone stay at the hospital, how will they pay for bills?

It's time you girls drop this una nonsense feminism that is making you girls look and act like dummies.

I thought this one was in love with another Nairalander just a week ago...

What happened?
He ain't loyal?

You don't know where the thread is going?

I think you do.

I think we all do.

This thread = men are evil/men are scum.

crackkhaus:
I thought this one was in love with another Nairalander just a week ago...

What happened?
He ain't loyal?

No sane guy will stand the nags of an evening newspaper.

NextD18:
Both you and the person you copied this piece of shiiiit from are insane!

That your dad isn't always with you like your mum when sick doesn't mean he isn't trying his best out there to cater for you to be cured and recovered!!

Shock the world as a Nigerian lady by sounding reasonable.

don't be a brute. Answer the question instead of typing like a rabid dog

Davash222:
Daughters are to stay with their parents at the hospital while the sons go and hustle money for hospital bills. If everyone stay at the hospital, how will they pay for bills?

It's time you girls drop this una nonsense feminism that is making you girls look and act like dummies.

hustling for money, doesn't stop you as a man from visiting and spending time with parents. Daughters hustle and bring money, they also still look after their parents. You have no excuse.

In my line of work, I see things like this happen everyday. There was only one exception to the rule tho. They were hausa, wife travelled from gombe state to Lagos to visit her husband with a 6 month old pregnancy. Two days later, she started developing seizures, and behaving mental. She was brought to our hospital at 3am.


No one needed to tell us that she had eclampsia. She probably wasn't going for antenatal care. This woman couldn't speak English but was behaving irrationally then would have a seizure and sleep. We had to restrain her while trying to crash her blood pressure which >300/180mmhg.

She was at death's door, and the best thing would have been to induce the baby and deliver it. The pregnancy had to be terminated. But induction failed. So we had to rush her to theatre to do a hysterotomy after which we placed her in ICU. She was still delirious after surgery, and even removed her WOUND DRESSING. When she got better, the wound broke down.

All through this, her husband was there, did everything without fail. He never faltered, not absconded. Till she recovered.

We need to raise our sons better.

funmisticqueen2:
hustling for money, doesn't stop you as a man from visiting and spending time with parents. Daughters hustle and bring money, they also still look after their parents. You have no excuse.

Funmi, abeg I no get strength for your wahala this evening. Dey go.

I haven't complete reading this Piece but the assumption are so wrong...First do you expect a man to be looking after another man's wife what do you think would be running over the husband mind.Abi would he be helping her evacuate urine let say she has a surgery ..men are very kind hearted but they are limits else people would read meaning into it.Women also like their privacy they can't be undressing in front of a man...So the women are the problem of themselves....yeye assumption that all men are next of kins...as if women are not the biggest manipulator of their Papas.

Davash222:

Funmi, abeg I no get strength for your wahala this evening. Dey go.

you called me an evening newspaper. I'm offended. Why should I let you go?

Interestingly I was having a discussion with a friend about how female children takes more care of their parents than boys, he totally disagree with me

Very faulty thread..

The men are hustling to pay for the hospital fees. If they come and sit down with the daughters and the wives where will the money to pay come from?

Also, men marry for sex. If a wife is unhealthy and not up for sex, what is the point of remaining in the marriage? But a woman with a sick husband will stick around for the upcoming inheritance.

uruba23:
I haven't complete reading this Piece but the assumption are so wrong...First do you expect a man to be looking after another man's wife what do you think would be running over the husband mind.Abi would he be helping her evacuate urine let say she has a surgery ..men are very kind hearted but they are limits else people would read meaning into it.Women also like their privacy they can't be undressing in front of a man...So the women are the problem of themselves....yeye assumption that all men are next of kins...as if women are not the biggest manipulator of their Papas.

we are talking about the types of illnesses that keeps you bed ridden. Cases of Breast, ovarian and cervical cancers are the most pitiful, followed by renal failure. No husband who took vows with her, it is only the daughters, if she's fortunate to have any.

Men need to do better

funmisticqueen2:
you called me an evening newspaper. I'm offended. Why should I let you go?

I’m sorry, morning newspaper.

RisenPhoenix:
The men are hustling to pay for the hospital fees. If they come and sit down with the daughters and the wives where will the money to pay come from?

Also, men marry for sex. If a wife is unhealthy and not up for sex, what is the point of remaining in the marriage? But a woman with a sick husband will stick around for the upcoming inheritance.

it doesn't stop them from spending time and helping to nurse a sick parent to health.


Sex is not why men should marry. If not all prostitutes will get married.

The man took vows and should take them seriously

Davash222:

I’m sorry, morning newspaper.

I am a lady, not a piece of paper with current affairs.

What you are doing is wrong. Is this what you will call your wife, mother, sister or female friend?

funmisticqueen2:
it doesn't stop them from spending time and helping to nurse a sick parent to health.

You can't work and nurse at the same time. I have alternated with my wife to stay with a sick child for a week. It was terrible because my wife just left her work entirely so she could sleep during the day, while I still had a business to run in the daytime and still stay awake at night. I was sometimes going for 48 hours without sleep with a few hours sometimes in between. In the end I left it to her and her then yet to be married sister.

At least I tried. Lol.

You are right with this, many times, women are the ones that stay with sick persons either, children, parents, parent-inlaws, and mostly husbands. The men usually leave the responsibility to the women with the belief that they provide the finance even though women do both, that is they care and they provide.
But
There are exceptions, I am a witness to how much a man cares for his wife anytime she is ill and admitted in the hospital or anytime she puts to bed.
I have seen a grandfather cater for his granddaughter on the hospital bed and many other cases.

The percentage of men that are this responsible are few though hence the general assumption that women care more for sick relatives.

There's an element of truth in the write up though not all men are like that. I was admitted early this year, the lady I shared a ward with had a miscarriage and appendicitis surgery. It was her elser sister by her side throughout the time I was there. I only got to see her husband on the day I got discharged which was the 3rd day I spent there. That aside, I've seen countless men stay by their wives side when ill but the number is considerably lower than women who put their lives on hold to nurse their husbands to health

Blakjewelry:
Interestingly I was having a discussion with a friend about how female children takes more care of their parents than boys, he totally disagree with me

he needs to visit a hospital ward

funmisticqueen2:
we are talking about the types of illnesses that keeps you bed ridden. Cases of Breast, ovarian and cervical cancers are the most pitiful, followed by renal failure. No husband who took vows with her, it is only the daughters, if she's fortunate to have any.

Men need to do better

If you talk about Ovarian cancer I can tell you Gen Babangida stood by his wife till the very end.I think there was one of the husband of the daughter of Oba Sijuade that was practically bathing the lady when she was paralyze so it is just assumption people are different relationship are different .

RisenPhoenix:


You can't work and nurse at the same time. I have alternated with my wife to stay with a sick child for a week. It was terrible because my wife just left her work entirely so she could sleep during the day, while I still had a business to run in the daytime and still stay awake at night. I was sometimes going for 48 hours without sleep with a few hours sometimes in between. In the end I left it to her and her then yet to be married sister.

At least I tried. Lol.

I know a lot of people mostly women who do

uruba23:

If you talk about Ovarian cancer I can tell you Gen Babangida stood by his wife till the very end.I think there was one of the husband of the daughter of Oba Sijuade that was practically bathing the lady when she was paralyze so it is just assumption people are different relationship are different .

I never said all men. I am talking of majority

uruba23:

If you talk about Ovarian cancer I can tell you Gen Babangida stood by his wife till the very end.I think there was one of the husband of the daughter of Oba Sijuade that was practically bathing the lady when she was paralyze so it is just assumption people are different relationship are different .

only 2 cases

RisenPhoenix:


You can't work and nurse at the same time. I have alternated with my wife to stay with a sick child for a week. It was terrible because my wife just left her work entirely so she could sleep during the day, while I still had a business to run in the daytime and still stay awake at night. I was sometimes going for 48 hours without sleep with a few hours sometimes in between. In the end I left it to her and her then yet to be married sister.

At least I tried. Lol.

you are the exception to the rule.

funmisticqueen2:
only 2 cases

Two public case

funmisticqueen2:
it doesn't stop them from spending time and helping to nurse a sick parent to health.

It is you doctors that will target the man to be sending upandan. "Go and bring blood", " go and pay for test", "go and find money for operation", "go and buy drug". I've been to hospitals you know.

funmisticqueen2:

Sex is not why men should marry. If not all prostitutes will get married.

Exclusive sex is what I meant. Sex with prostitutes is anything but exclusive.

funmisticqueen2:

The man took vows and should take them seriously

Those vows were probably written by women. Most men just utter them without attention. Trust me, at that point in time, all men wish they had a fast forward button. We just repeat what we are told to repeat while mentally scheduling the different styles that we will utilise that night. So we can truthfully say that those vows were taken in a state of unconsciousness/under duress.

funmisticqueen2:
I never said all men. I am talking of majority

I think someone told you men do hustle...