queensmith:

the woman is just exceptionally silly, in this day and age- women like this piss me off to the core!

your confusing love with something else, but lets not get into that. Only you know how you felt

6 months is waay to short to be pouring your money on anybody, especially if its in the hope youll get something back in return

women with more money than sense kmt

LOL, Like I said I fell inlove with someone a few hours after meeting and talking to him and yea only me knew what I felt back then and nope I am not confusing love with something else.

tpia*:

^^yup.

if your parents dont approve of me, i'd need to find out the reason.

Shouldn't we approve and explore each other wella 1st, before parents/family come in?

queensmith:

the woman is just exceptionally silly, in this day and age- women like this piss me off to the core!

your confusing love with something else, but lets not get into that. Only you know how you felt

6 months is waay to short to be pouring your money on anybody, especially if its in the hope youll get something back in return

women with more money than sense kmt

I guess you are the confused one here.

Do you know what the OP and her guy felt for each other? And what money is she pouring on somebody?

The money is a loan not a gift, and yes I agree she should not lend more than she can afford, but there is nothing wrong lending money to that gf or bf you claim to love and trust.

jennykadry:

LOL, Like I said I fell inlove with someone a few hours after meeting and talking to him and yea only me knew what I felt back then and nope I am not confusing love with something else.

if you say so

OAM4J:

I guess you are the confused one here.

and how is that?

OAM4J:

Do you know what the OP and her guy felt for each other? And what money is she pouring on somebody?

don really care- op isnt the first and wont be the last! there is no justifiable reason for somebody to be supporting somebody else! unless its for charity or the person is ur relative! end of!

OAM4J:

The money is a loan not a gift, and yes I agree she should not lend more than she can afford, but there is nothing wrong lending money to that gf or bf you claim to love and trust.

even if she could afford it its still stupid, i find everything wrong with it,dont like the habit disagrees with my principles!

^ What is silly to you is a virtue to another, but then you are entitled to your opinions and principles. Suit yourself.

chaircover:

When my husband and I got married he didn't have a car, Infact our first car was a £550 banger LOL. When we had our baby, we couldn't afford to buy a cot. Baby and I slept on the bed while hubby slept on one of my wrappers on the floor. I rememebr that My mum bought our first freezer 

And although this is very personal, I am sharing this story so that someone somewhere who is probably at crossroads can seek encouragement from it and make a wise decision.

I married my husband because he was a good kind man of integrity and a hardworking man with prospects and of course I loved him. People said all sorts at the time but I didnt listen some even called him a gold digger. Today I am enjoying that decision. He is a husband, brother, father, friend all rolled into one.

Today he earns much much more than I earn, I only work part time (he told me to reduce my hours & to stop stressing myself) and I now run a business that I enjoy.  He is still the dependable solid man that I married back then and he treats me like an equal rather than a gloried slave.

Yesterday afternoon we were our shopping for light fittings for our new house and I was looking at the prices before choosing, (Ijebu to the core that I am) but he noticed it and he just said to me "just pick what you really like . . . don't look at the prices, I am paying"
If I were to be a glorified slave he would go ahead and buy whatever he wants without it even crossing his mind to consult me.

Dont get me wrong, It has been an uphill struggle and there were times that we went without but eventually if you both muck in together and with the grace & favour of God, you will eventually get there.

What I have noticed is that it is here in the romance section that you see " I cant do this for any man" " I cant cook for my boyfriend" "he has to be rich" etc but the reality is that these same people pop up 3 years later in the family section with a new ID saying that their husbands don't treat them well.

If anyone here has a broke but good boyfriend/fiance, please do not throw him away but help him to grow. It will be a tough struggle but you will both reap the reward in the long run.

WOW!

CHAIRCOVER, I STUMBLED ON THIS YOUR POST BY CHANCE AND I MOST SAY YOU'VE REALLY REALLY INSPIRED ME.

i am sorry i have not posted any update on this thread.

things are indeed looking better for my boyfriend now. he gets more hours at work.

he now gives me some money occasionally which i use for cooking. its not really much but i do appreciate the fact that he is making an effort. each times he gives me this, i thank him profusely and i also pray for him.

despite the fact that money is tight, he went out of his way to surprise me on vals day and he got me things that were really pricey. as a matter of fact, the value of the gifts he got for me surpasses the value of mine.

hes been a very nice chap. . . . caring, God fearing, etc. only snag is the financial bit. but even at that, i love him very much and i am convinced the feeling is mutual.

.

Where I come from we only support husbands or let's say family.boyfriend has no status sha be careful b4 u guys end up Judge Judy.

@ listentome , madam i've got just one thing to tell you.

1. It's not a union yet,so you're just in a game.A game i believe you should know the rules already.But all in all,make sure when it comes to the end game you should ensure you don't get hurt."Leave with what you invested in it".

POster

Supporting your man(bf/gf) financially isn't a bad idea to me but going extreme is what i consider badt expecially when both of you are not married yet. Take time to spend according to what you have, i don't mean you be stingy but be considerate in spending! There may be chances both of you will not settle down in the near future before you go about crying HEART BREAK ABANDONMENT

I say so queen. 6months is enuff time to fall inlove even a month sef. I don't believe in all this fb/internet dating without actually seeing the person and calling it love.I will tell you a story. I knew my husband for months,  wasn't interested in an intimate relationship with him and wanted just friendship. A kenyan friend of mine I remember back then was the one that even opened my eyes to the fact I might be inlove with him but haven't realised it yet. Lol I'm actually the type that if I don't like you ,i do not wanno see you talkless of agreeing to go out for a cup of coffe/cappucino.  I used to go out for a ''cuppa'' with him on platonic level . There was a time he did not call me for a drink for weeksss and I wasn't happy about it, that was when it kinda like clicked that hey I might really ''like'' this guy. Anyways when he finally called and we went out one day, that was the day I sat down and really took a good look ar this guy and I asked myself. . . . . . what the fcukkk was I doing when i told this guy I only want it to be platonic?''  that day I believe was was the day I really ''met  and talked with him'' and realized that I was inlove with this guy but never realized it.

What i'm I trying to say,6 months is enuff to fall inlove with someone even enuff sef to propse, it does not take a year to fall in love.

@ poster, just see all these things you are doing as if yu are doin them all for God, hopefully yu guys will soon become husband n wife. @ Chaircover, words of wisdom ooo,

I know so many friends of mine that says to me that they will never date a man that doesnt have a good job, a house of himself etc, n me i tell them that in future imagine u wanna have a say, he will say to you did we make the money together, we ddnt so u have no say, n most of these women ends up bein maltreated, where as yu date a man cos u love him n u r with him tru thick n thin, trust me wen he is made it, you can say remember wen we dey suffer together ooo,

jennykadry:

I say so queen. 6months is enuff time to fall inlove even a month sef. I don't believe in all this fb/internet dating without actually seeing the person and calling it love.I will tell you a story. I knew my husband for months,  wasn't interested in an intimate relationship with him and wanted just friendship. A kenyan friend of mine I remember back then was the one that even opened my eyes to the fact I might be inlove with him but haven't realised it yet. Lol I'm actually the type that if I don't like you ,i do not wanno see you talkless of agreeing to go out for a cup of coffe/cappucino.  I used to go out for a ''cuppa'' with him on platonic level . There was a time he did not call me for a drink for weeksss and I wasn't happy about it, that was when it kinda like clicked that hey I might really ''like'' this guy. Anyways when he finally called and we went out one day, that was the day I sat down and really took a good look ar this guy and I asked myself. . . . . . what the fcukkk was I doing when i told this guy I only want it to be platonic?''  that day I believe was was the day I really ''met  and talked with him'' and realized that I was inlove with this guy but never realized it.

What i'm I trying to say,6 months is enuff to fall inlove with someone even enuff sef to propse, it does not take a year to fall in love.

Yeah I remember! hmnnn memories! I still remember what you did to me after that meeting, I was dazed! Twas like; 'was this not the gurl that was asking for a platonic thing?' Did I tell you I ran back to the coffee shop to find out if they put anything special in your cup of cappucinno that day? Hmnnnnnnnn good memories.

Yes we got married in less than 6 months after that meeting and she had my 1st baby 4 months after. Dont you dare ask me when she conceived. . . that is personal. 

Beyonce just bought her hubby a $1 Million Dollar car (not motor), even though JZ is rich himself. Mariah Carey is doing the same (Nick Canon), Paris Hilton not left out, Jennifer Lopez deeply in love, Janet Jackson (Dupri cannot get enough), Alisha Keys, and last but not the list, ME (I'm a celebrity too in my own lil corner).

I didn't mention any Nigerian celebrity because they're all money mongers and base their relationship bulls**t on money.

So @poster, I did not see anything you've done yet. You've not even spend up2 £1000. His house rent which was given back to you I guess was between £350-400. And the money you lent him recently to extend his visa should be around £380 (beside the lump sum of £1600 which should reflect in his account).

And for the food stuff, aba, you need to feed him well well for strength. You think without those solid food he will be performing the way he's doing now? Think again!

Anyway, relationship is like a trial out, you're either in or out. Never a do or die affair. Food and money cannot be the basis of a relationship but fate and destiny.

In my opinion u should be supporting your husband financially, not your boyfriend. Not like u should'nt support your boyfriend, but there should be a limit, and six months is a very short time to be doing dat already, hmm

@listentome. *vomit*

@jenny- yes i heard you the first time

Yeap, my views havent changed, i dont think anybody should financially support anyone in a romantic relationship!

@ chaircover- your story probably will be inspiring to many but i have a big problem with some things, i dont think its right to marry or start a family unless your completely capable of providing for them. It bothers me when i see a man with no job, no ambition no plans for himself but what he is sure of is who he wants to marry and when.

This isnt anything personal, but i see alot of Nigerian men carry that strange mentality of simply hoping for the best. Life doesnt work like that and as much as i appreciate you rising above the tough times and now having your testimony, i think its very wrong to encourage young women of this time to be the same. We have more opportunities before us and less excuses not to be able to fend for ourselves.

Our brains are much more trustworthy than our hearts

..

from your accounts which i have read i dont see any indication that the guy is being mischevous,its really no big deal helping people out of a tight situation especially as you have stated yourself that he paid you back the previous soft loan.if you had any reservations lending money to him then you should tell him rather than sharing the guy's personal business on nairaland.
this is what i find funny with ladies,if the shoe was on the other foot,you ll see it as something the guy ought to do after all he is the bf now you r helping someone you are planning to spend the rest of your life with and its becoming an issue,
no matter how much ofa rut i am in financially i will never accept a pound from my partner

Helping out is good. But you can't help someone for ever -the person has to have goals, plans, and achievable dreams.