i dont know the correct place to post this whether in medical or here.
please i'm in desperate need of HELP!
i am an introvert,
i work in a semi-military organisation.
by virtue of my education and partly due to a recent purge in the workforce, i suddenly find myself at the very top heading quite a large group of personnel.
a good thing you'll say but for me its a nightmare.
you see, this position requires that i am now the spokesperson for men. i have to hold lectures/meetings and represent them at HOD meetings and wherever.
the problem is i cant speak in a crowd to even save my life.
i cant talk when i'm in front of more than 5 people in a formal gathering.
i get all nervous and trembling, my speech becomes badly affected.
what i'm afraid of, i dont know. its not that i'm not knowledgeable about my work or something, simply that i am extremely introverted. as far back as my university days that i noticed the problem but it seems to be getting worse by the day.
its so bad that i'm sick of myself. i loathe and hate myself so bad that,
i cant stand to embarrass myself so i'm thinking of quitting my job.
please, please, anyone who has suggestion should please help me
this is so pathetic, a big shame and i'm dying inside everyday.
help me, i love my job but i just might run off due to this problem
is there any help out there for me?
nairalanders please i need your valuable advise.
thanks.

My friend u don't have to be so negative.Pls try and look up and not always down.the truth u don't recognize is that most people are nervous when they are b4 an audience and it takes time to develop confidence otherwise why is that most pepole are scared when attending interviews when they will be facing at most a panel of 5.My advice to you is to believe in yourself.No matter how introverted you are u have something in you so dont talk urself down.U are nothing but what u say u are and as long as u keep talking like this u will only get worse.a lot of things that people experience in this life is a product of their mentality and speech.Start cultivating the i can mentality and u will see that indeed u can.

On the other hand i can see u are afraid of failing and this fear is almost overpowering u.Well It is a good thing to desire to succeed and more importantly u should let that desire for success motivate u rather than ur fear of failure.Ur write up suggests u are quite knowledge and i guess u have succeeded up till this moment hence this fear of failure,but dont let it be ur motivation, or it will ruin u.

Finally,as ur new position requires u prepare speeches to be delivered b4 an audience,there are some steps u need take to do this successfully

Always plan ur presentation well ahead of time.Let the ideas develop in ur head over time but dont rehearse it, Do a lot of research,gather as much materials as possible on that subject and study them very well.Based prepare ur speech in a logical and sequtential manner using the salient points.Whae u do this, u will find out that u have a message to deliver and that u will be very eager to do that.The truth is when u have an idea and u are so sure of what u have u will not hesitate to talk abt it.Its only when dont have anything or u are not sure of what u have that u will be so nervous.

Secondly practice.as u practice u develop confidence. as u practice u get more info,ideas and get to know more abt the subject.this will help u gain more confidence.Try delivering ur speech b4 ur friends and ask for their criticism.It will help.
I will suggest u get the book HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE THROUGH PUBLIC SPEAKING and read it.it will help u.

On a final note i want to repeat that the main issue is not that u are an introvert,any body can present a speech,introverts and extroverts.The problem is that u have been focusing on the wrong things.look up and see what u can do.Have the faith and confidence that u can stand b4 this people and say something.U will be suprised at what u can do.Remeber,there is nothing wrong with u just that u are looking in the wrong direction and seeing the wrong things.See urself presenting winning speeches and b4 long u will find urself doing just that.
Dont leave job,many will jump to have ajob and do just anything to keep it.who knows if u leave this job the next one will also require u perform similar functions.In case u want,u can email me @ enky52@yahoo.com.


Best of luck.

Hi,

Being an introvert is a limitation but one thing i have come to learn in life is that we live by choice. It is what we choose to get out of life that we get.

It might interest you to know that i was once like you, an introvert to the core. In my school days, i found it difficult to communicate with my close friends, u can imagine how impossible it would be talking to outsiders. I rarely left my room, unless i had to attend lectures.

But i had to take a very critical decisiong that changed my life when i was told i would be giving a valedictory speech on my convocation day. And guess what! i did it ang got a ver good applause during and at the end of my speech.

The secret, I made myself understand that i am not different from all those that do it, I rehearsed my speech very well, and presented before my friends first, then i accepted criticism from them and that polished me.

And blief me, though i still look quiet, but am never scared of giving lectures and speeches since then.

Just accept the position you are, as the head of your group, and take the challenge.

I wish you all  the best and look forward to hearing good things from you on this topic.

Cheers!

i used to be like that 2 when i was younger, but with d nature of my job being a marketer, since i meet people alot, i came over my own problem.

i think u 2 can come over it. by the time u address a crowd twice or thrice, u'll come over it.

just feel as if u r addressing ur friends or family members or as if there's no one around u, just talking to yourself. also, preparing ur speech before hand will always help u.

the earlier u overcome this problem, the better for u, cos u'll be given more challanging responsibilities in the near future. running away or resigning won't help u.

i'm sure alot of ur colleagues will be envying u and wishing they were giving such a big responsibility.

goodluck bros.

Hi, i feel ur pain. I have been there.

What u need to do is to go and see a doctor who will prescribe an anti-anxiety medication.

I personally use Inderal (a type of propranolol) an hour before I have to make a presentation. Inderal stops my voice and hands from shaking and my heart from beating forcefully in my chest; this goes a long way in helping me make the presentation. I must point out that b4 making the presentation i still feel a little nervous, however, when i start, i am calmer.

I must also point out that you have to follow the doctor's prescription i.e. no over dosing.

I hope this helps.

hi,
i can feel ur pain my dear,
i am not an extrovert myself and i can understand what you're saying.
but i dont think running away is the solution. like someone said you might get another job that requires similar responsibilties, what happens then? you run again?
i think this is a psychological issue and might require you see a psychiatrist or a psychologist.
goodluck.

Hi, lovelynk has highlighted important issues, it would do you a lot of good and i just want to add this, don't forget to talk to God about this, He'll surely help you out in no time.

@poster
i feel your pain. i used to be painfully shy. it limits you and takes away life's simple joys. one thing i learnt is to confront those things that scare you the most head on.
practice in front of the mirror and of course prepare your notes beforehand. no one says you cant read from your notes. that will make speaking easier. and even if there's a hurricane going on inside you, act like you own the earth on the outside. good luck. and please dont quit your job aiight?

thank you so much to everyone that has contributed to this issue.
God bless you all.
however i think i'll take the advise of going to see a health practitioner.
i believe my problem is begining to infringe on my health. i mean, having to live practically on adrenaline 24hrs of the day. i seriously fear for my haelth now.i mean there is so much my liver can take. init?
will be seeing a doctor this week.
meanwhile i am still hanging on,  though just barely.
thank you all again.

sara2007:

Hi, i feel your pain. I have been there.

What u need to do is to go and see a doctor who will prescribe an anti-anxiety medication.

I personally use Inderal (a type of propranolol) an hour before I have to make a presentation. Inderal stops my voice and hands from shaking and my heart from beating forcefully in my chest; this goes a long way in helping me make the presentation. I must point out that before making the presentation i still feel a little nervous, however, when i start, i am calmer.

I must also point out that you have to follow the doctor's prescription i.e. no over dosing.

I hope this helps.

I'm interested in that type of drug, my yonger sister has the same problem since childhood she has taken drugs but no way. pls email me at:thoo12@yahoo.com

you are talking about what is called the greatest phobia:
the fear of public speaking.

what you need to do: Practise. if you read through the memoirs of successful politicians, you will find that most if not all of them had to conquer their fear of public speaking


you can probably make a start by searching for resources on public speaking(books, articles, etc) you can also practise what you intend to say in the mirror .(i think this is what abiola did back then)



as to medication, NO!!!
thats the easy way out , and (in my opininon) the path to addiction/drug abuse.



cheers

Does propanolol really work for physical symptoms of anxiety like trembling and voice shaking? I have a presentation coming up and I'm about taking propanolol to ease the tension but don't want to be disappointed. Is there anyone who this drug have worked for here? please help a sister