My wife left with our 2years old boy to her fathers house, now she's living an I don't care life what should I do? Pls I need advise.

Op.. Dont let me deceive u, i no understand ur write up at all. I can see there is more to what you are letting out. After, i go advice u better.

Tell us what led to her decision cus your wife can not just pack out without reasons. Open up if you truly need advice

AutoB24:
My wife left with our 2years old boy to her fathers house, now she's living an I don't care life what should I do? Pls I need advise.

Have you been told that the Sperm in your body has finished and that you cannot have more children when you marry later? Forget the woman, go and make money and even your mother in-law will come and throw herself at you. Move on my brother, move on.

Are you doing well financially?

Shouldn't you start by asking her why she left? Abi why would a sane woman up and leave her happy home, with her child, to her parents house. And the parents too accepted her back.

What did you do to your wife oga?

AutoB24:
My wife left with our 2years old boy to her fathers house, now she's living an I don't care life what should I do? Pls I need advise.

You must have dealt with her while you were living together

Tell us exactly what happened

The more you delay, the better for her to meet other men who will treat her like a woman

sisisioge:
Shouldn't you start by asking her why she left? Abi why would a sane woman up and leave her happy home, with her child, to her parents house. And the parents too accepted her back.

What did you do to your wife oga?

we were living fine until I caught her one day sending her (S) to send her 20k without informing me. this is where I got angry and she refuse to admit her mistakes instead she worsen the whole thing by telling me besides she has known the guy before me. So I couldn't take it so I slapt her she retaliate from there we fought. Then I was arrested by her dad ever since then she has been keeping away but I didn't mind I still went back with some of my family members to apologize her and the family but still she was never satisfy until she open her mouth and told me she was passing time with me that I have left her mind for long. But I still love her. But as a man am I suppose to smile over all that advice pls....or am I to give up?

AutoB24:
we were living fine until I caught her one day sending her (S) to send her 20k without informing me. this is where I got angry and she refuse to admit her mistakes instead she worsen the whole thing by telling me besides she has known the guy before me. So I couldn't take it so I slapt her she retaliate from there we fought. Then I was arrested by her dad ever since then she has been keeping away but I didn't mind I still went back with some of my family members to apologize her and the family but still she was never satisfy until she open her mouth and told me she was passing time with me that I have left her mind for long. But I still love her. But as a man am I suppose to smile over all that advice pls....or am I to give up?

You meant you beat her up so much so that you were arrested by her father? Chai.

I'm sorry o, a physical tussle between a regular man and a women is never a "we fought" , he beat the sheet out of her is more like it.

Anyways, it was obvious that she wouldn't leave without prompt as implied in your original post. May God help you settle the matter o.

frozen70:


You must have dealt with her while you were living together

Tell us exactly what happened

The more you delay, the better for her to meet other men who will treat her like a woman

He said he only beat her up

sisisioge:


He said he only beat her up

Ohhhh, why naw

Real men don't do that

AutoB24:
My wife left with our 2years old boy to her fathers house, now she's living an I don't care life what should I do? Pls I need advise.

You have no wife. Go and work and get money, even Buhari's wife will come after you.

AutoB24:
My wife left with our 2years old boy to her fathers house, now she's living an I don't care life what should I do? Pls I need advise.

Bros you don't have a wife. For your father in-law to arrest you shows that they have no regard for you. Save yourself further embarrassment, go out there and make money............lots of it. When you are done, you are sure of getting any woman you want. If an ugly Oshiomole can marry a beauty queen, then you can marry one as well.

AutoB24:
we were living fine until I caught her one day sending her (S) to send her 20k without informing me. this is where I got angry and she refuse to admit her mistakes instead she worsen the whole thing by telling me besides she has known the guy before me. So I couldn't take it so I slapt her she retaliate from there we fought. Then I was arrested by her dad ever since then she has been keeping away but I didn't mind I still went back with some of my family members to apologize her and the family but still she was never satisfy until she open her mouth and told me she was passing time with me that I have left her mind for long. But I still love her. But as a man am I suppose to smile over all that advice pls....or am I to give up?

You are not a man. Your so called wife told you she cannot stop begging her ex for money and you are here whining that she has gone with the winds. Go and make money my friend. Such a woman is only good as side chick not as wife and that is why she is a side chick to her ex.

God loves you so much, that is why God has separated you from a adulterous woman. Sorry for my choice of words, but this is Nairaland, we say it as it is and we let God judge us. I have too many years experience about women, so I can smell an adulterous woman from afar. Just because you did not have enough, that is why your so called wife is throwing herself at her ex and begging for money.

God has great plans for you, just face your hustle and you will be surprised how big God will bless you.

Aurelius1:
Bros you don't have a wife. For your father in-law to arrest you shows that they have no regard for you. Save yourself further embarrassment, go out there and make money............lots of it. When you are done, you are sure of getting any woman you want. If an ugly Oshiomole can marry a beauty queen, then you can marry one as well.

So you believe it's all about money.

What if the man has all the money but keeps abusing the woman emotional,?..

If a man beat up your daughter that made her sustain several injuries on her body, what would you do KNOWING fully well that it isn't happening for the first, second,third, fourth....
.. twentieth times??

Jessie21:
So you believe it's all about money.

What if the man has all the money but keeps abusing the woman emotional,?..

If a man beat up your daughter that made her sustain several injuries on her body, what would you do KNOWING fully well that it isn't happening for the first, second,third, fourth....
.. twentieth times??

He said they had a fight. I don't know whether this is the first or twentieth time. What I know is a father in law should try and make peace and not the other way round. From the op's explanation, the woman collects money from her ex which is wrong. It was also wrong for him to beat her.

Aurelius1:
He said they had a fight. I don't know whether this is the first or twentieth time. What I know is a father in law should try and make peace and not the other way round. From the op's explanation, the woman collects money from her ex which is wrong. It was also wrong for him to beat her.

op isn't letting out all details....Trust me

Corporate2020:


You are not a man. Your so called wife told you she cannot stop begging her ex for money and you are here whining that she has gone with the winds. Go and make money my friend. Such a woman is only good as side chick not as wife and that is why she is a side chick to her ex.

God loves you so much, that is why God has separated you from a adulterous woman. Sorry for my choice of words, but this is Nairaland, we say it as it is and we let God judge us. I have too many years experience about women, so I can smell an adulterous woman from afar. Just because you did not have enough, that is why your so called wife is throwing herself at her ex and begging for money.

God has great plans for you, just face your hustle and you will be surprised how big God will bless you.

did he say she always beg money from her ex ?

Mtcheeew! Allow me to hiss abeg.

When the foundation is faulty, the building will eventually collapse.

nautybride:
Mtcheeew! Allow me to hiss abeg.

When the foundation is faulty, the building will eventually collapse.

True word

I think your comment concludes well

@AutoB24, you are not a man!

Firstly, you married a non virtuous woman and expected her to be a wife of virtue. Very senseless I must tell you!

Secondly, you married from a useless family and expect to enjoy your marriage.

Thirdly, you don't have class for you to stoop so low to beg a woman that neither regard nor respect you.

You have no shame for desiring a woman that told you to your face that she was only using you to "pass time" and she feels nothing for you.

Sir, you need to get a life, a class, and a virtuous woman from a godly family to marry.

Stop fooling yourself

MODIFIED:
OP you aren't even married sef... You are also a useless man, a very useless one at that.

TonyeBarcanista:
@AutoB24, you are not a man!

Firstly, you married a non virtuous woman and expected her to be a woman of virtue.

Secondly, you married from a useless family and expect to enjoy your marriage.

Thirdly, you don't have class for you to stoop so low to beg a woman that neither regard nor respect you.

You have no shame for desiring a woman that told you to your face that she was only using you to "pass time" and she feels nothing for you.

Sir, you need to get a life, get a class, and get a virtuous woman from a godly family.

Stop fooling yourself

what if op left some vital details unsaid,?

What if he isn't telling the truth??

Think well o

Jessie21:
what if op left some vital details unsaid,?

What if he isn't telling the truth??

Think well o

No virtuous wife will ask money from another man without first informing and seeking her husband's permission, and no virtuous woman will rebuff her husband's position against her taking money from her ex.

OP was stupid to have even slapped/beat her instead of commencing the process of sending her to her useless family.

Young men should always check family background of women before agreeing to marry them (and vice versa). A Lion will always birth a lion not a goat.

TonyeBarcanista:

No virtuous wife will ask money from another man without first informing and seeking her husband's permission, and no virtuous woman will rebuff her husband's position against her taking money from her ex.

OP was stupid to have even slapped/beat her instead of commencing the process of sending her to her useless family.

Young men should always check family background of women before agreeing to marry them (and vice versa). A Lion will always birth a lion not a goat.

Now go through this story that I'm about to post

Jessie21:
Now go through this story that I'm about to post

Which story?

Early 2016 February 15,
I started dating a guy that wanted us to be a thing.
At that time I just finished secondary school and I was supposed to sit for SSCE but I couldn't because my family was down financially.

When my parent noticed I was going out with the guy,they were seriously against it but I was so adamant at that time.

Months passed by and I was still with the guy.late 2016 September 19, the guy moved to a new apartment and that was how I started going there too till I ended up living with him.

During this period of being with him,I saw many red flag that should have made me quit from the relationship but I ignored them.
The red flags were
1. Cheating
2.Hitting and embarrassing me publicly (even tearing my clothes)
3.Intentional accusing me of things he knows I'm not guilty of.

Late 2017 when I got pregnant,we kept the pregnancy but it didn't put an end to the red flags.... whenever we had little misunderstanding that can be resolved easily,he would act so angry and hit me wherever he likes with the pregnancy.

When I run to my parent,he will follow me there, embarrass me and my parent too, all these happened several times.


Story cut short

I reminded him of my studies after I delivered our baby and all he said was I should wait till the baby is 2yrs old,I agreed without argument.

Forward to late 2019..... The time I was really determined to sit for my SSCE so I met my pastor in church and told him about it,my pastor encouraged me and promised to help me with 20k after I get the rest of the 20k because SSCE registration is 40k.

Note we got officially engaged late 2019 around October.


Getting home that Sunday,I told my fiance about how I met with my pastor and his assistance towards me registering for SSCE...


Note: whenever I bring up the topic,all he say is that he has other expenses, lemme just calm down.

The main point is that he never really showed interest or gave me any hope that we were going to raise the remaining 20k
All he kept saying was he has to many things to do.

After seeing that there was no hope for me with his statement,I decided to contact relatives and friends to assist me.. The day he caught me texting my ex asking for assistance to get money to register for exam I hid the phone and I know I was wrong.He reported me to my parent and his family members.... Everyone blamed and rebuke me for that...I on the other hand admitted that i was wrong and apologized.


Note: he caught me typing the message but the message was never sent.

After my several apologies and family members intervention,the issue died down...So I kept reaching out to my relatives to assist me and luckily for me,one of them replied and sent the 20k to....I was so happy to know that the problem was settled.
So I called my pastor to let him know that I had gotten the 20k then he asked me to send my account details which I sent and received alert of 20k making 40k

SSCE Payment has been completed.

Note: since we started dating we preferred going to my church, I'm a chorister there...As he joined the church,he became an active drama member

Forward to the Sunday after the day I received the 20k from my pastor,I was supposed to go thank him.

After preparing for church,I told him I was leaving but he warned me not to go,I agreed because I didn't want to have any problem with him.
I went to the church he wanted me to go to.... getting home later that afternoon, I just layed on the bed hoping to relax before I put the house in order..
That was how he came in with anger and shouted at me and asking why I hadn't arranged the house, I Just explained to him that I was tired because I trekked carrying our baby that has so much weight to church and from church...I saw that He didn't care about what I was saying so I just stood up, arranged the clothes and the bed then I took broom to sweep the corner of the room he wasn't close to, before I got to where he sat,he complained that I was sweeping sand on his body....I quickly apologized then ask him to excuse me...I told him to excuse me like 3times but he still sat without answering...I decided to pick the broom again and sweep gently...I was being careful not to sweep sand on him unfortunately for me, the edge of the broom touched him...

I quickly apologized again and told him it was a mistake....but he didn't listen....he just stood up poked me hard on my cheek throwing all manner of horrible and insultive words at me and my family.


At that point I started begging him not to hit me because I was already seeing it coming, unfortunately he slapped me hard, with that pain,I gave him a bite on his hand in defense, instead of him to stop,he went for our partular,(turning stick) and started poking me hard all over my body with the pointy part, after that, he took our small wooden chair and he hit me hard with it continuously I started screaming as I felt like I would die soon...I screemed for help,so our neighbor came in and tried to calm him, telling him to go outside first but he didn't listen to the neighbor, he kept on hitting me and also took knife in attempt to stab me, luckily for me, our neighbor was able to collect the knife then he went outside as he wasn't able to calm him.

Note: neighbors are already used to the constant arguing and fighting so no matter what happens they never come to check..it was my screams that brought the neighbor inside but he gave up as my fiance couldn't be tamed.....

All I could do to defend myself was to give him a bite even tho he bit me back and harder leaving a deep wound on my back.


Finally another neighbor came in,she was able to rescue me by pushing him with her body.

I was still on my church dressed, with blood all over my body I rushed to my dad's place ..

Note:. This hitting has been happening countless number of times.
Before this one that made me leave d house,he gave me a blow on my eye causing it to swell,my dad saw it and was very angry but later forgave but warned him never to raise his hands on me no matter what...

My dad remember his warning that my fiance didn't heed to, seeing me with blood all over my body rushed to the police station and had him arrested.

The arrest wasn't even successful because my so called fiance ran out of detention....he acted as if he wanted to beg me before we knew it,he ran away... luckily for him, police didn't search for him..


Ever since that incident,my eyes opened,that was when I knew that if this guy has his way,he will kill me and bury me without anybody knowing.

https://www.nairaland.com/5394566/please-need-advice#81855632

Go through that thread, you would all understand my story better..

Jessie21:
The arrest wasn't even successful because my so called fiance ran out of detention....he acted as if he wanted to be me before we knew it,he ran away... luckily for him, police didn't search for him..


Ever since that incident,my eyes opened,that was when I knew that if this guy has his way,he will kill me and bury me without anybody knowing.

I still don't understand the need for your story as regards that of OP.

You were warned about having a BF but you refused to heed warnings of your parents.

You knew he was into fraud, cheat, violent etc but stayed put.

You are the architect of your own problem. Like OP, you threw yourself at an ungodly man and expected godliness from him. Kolewerk! .. You also disregarded wise counsel without knowing that you are doing yourself.

TonyeBarcanista:

I still don't understand the need for your story as regards that of OP.

You were warned about having a BF but you refused to heed warnings of your parents.

You knew he was into fraud, cheat, violent etc but stayed put.

You are the architect of your own problem. Like OP, you threw yourself at an ungodly man and expected godliness from him. Kolewerk! .. You also disregarded wise counsel without knowing that you are doing yourself.

Yh that's why I left never to return back.... I'm making amends now..

Jessie21:
https://www.nairaland.com/5394566/please-need-advice#81855632

Go through that thread, you would all understand my story better..

This link explains all I've gone through when I was still with him.

My heart has decided not to accept those things again that's why I quit...

Op posted the story without giving the full details... I'm the wife he's referring too