This stranger told me that if I didn’t go inside and do what was asked, he’d post the videos on Facebook and send them to my parents, my siblings, everywhere on the social media handles.The scenario ran through my head, it would be a social catastrophe.
I was the good kid who never got in trouble. If he took that away from me, I would have nothing. I wasn’t smart. I wasn’t pretty. What would I be with these videos out in the world?I made a split-second decision. I knocked on the door and a middle-aged man invited me in. He asked if I wanted a drink or a cigarette. I declined. Whatever was about to happen, I wanted it over fast. He brought me into a back room with a couch in it. I performed MouthAction, then he walked me to the door. He handed me cash and told me I’d have more fun next time if I loosened up. He hugged me goodbye. I didn’t even count the bills. I went back to the stairwell, where David’s associate grabbed the money out of my hand.When we went downstairs,David was waiting for us. He didn’t say a word, and neither did I. He drove me home as if nothing had happened. Though I didn’t realize it at the time that the period we had been together as lovers was the period I had being carefully groomed for.
The minute I got home, I deleted the guys’ numbers from my phone. Right away,David started calling my home phone number, over and over. I was nervous and scared having realized that they still had the videos.Two weeks after the first incident, I agreed to meet them one more time. If I’m honest with myself, I probably missed them. I kept going over the night in the apartment: maybe it wasn’t such a big deal. They were my friends, after all.The second time, they took me to another apartment in an area I had never been to before. It was a shabby and a very old apartment which made me think how much nicer my house was. The man was in his 50s, and quite polite. He offered me cigarettes, maybe sensing how uncomfortable I was. I had sex with him, and though it felt like I was there for hours, it was probably only about 20 minutes!Afterwards, I went to a park with David and his crew. It was different than the first time. They congratulated me, told me how well I’d done. It was out in the open now, something to be proud of. On the drive home, they let me sit shotgun, a big honour. I hated what I had done, yet I was being rewarded for it—not financially but emotionally—and that felt good. This contradiction messed with my mind.They left me alone for a few days, and I hoped we were done not until when I had received a call that afternoon from…..

To be continued……..
© Grace Dammy.