Hi, nairalanders, I'm victor... I would need help from u guys please, it might b lengthy, juwtvtry and read.. I might need advice as well.. Let me begin... Pls forget my English...
"Hmm, at my tender age, then wen I was based in Lagos with my parents.. I was sexually abused, I'm a guy though, we get abused too.... Actually I was abused by a lady, she lured me to do dirty things for her.. I mean alot of dirty things.. I was turned into a sex object even by guys as well... They had sex with me, ejaculated in me, I was used.. And then I was just 10-11 years... I had my frost sex... At that age too... I had lost my dignity even as a guy.. I felt useless at some point.. Even till now I'm suffering from that pain... This continued for a long time... Even when my dad was transferred to Benin, when I went for visit to a church member's house, d same thing again... I told myself maybe that's what I'm meant for in this life. I shed tears... Right now as imi'm writing, my heart aches me .... I was convinced not to tell my parents.. Imagine even threatened to kill me at my age.... I couldn't tell them... Even if I could I wouldn't... Because my parents re just too strict, they stand by what they say alone, saying theirs is d best... I don't like talking them till now... They don't advice, question ur every action... Every thing I learnt abt life... I learned it myself... Till d point I dislike dem... Especially dad... U can't talk in our house... It doesn't make sense and count... This made me to become. E stubborn at home... I was feeling the trauma of d abuse... Sometimes I feel like committing suicide, I was depressed, I became an introvert in d process, I don't talk, my performances in my studies dropped.. I was shattered... And my parents still never noticed.. They never asked Wat's wrong.. Concerned about my sis alone... I stopped doing things because of that for them.. And my dad is a minister... I'm feeling pains now with tears... It was just last year I had to tell them, I had to call on his friend.... Even while telling him... He was not even heart broken for wat I suffered... Even my mom.. He was telling me his life story... That he was almost raped... And bla bla... If he told me earlier... If he had been advicing me earlier.... Will I nor have sense to escape wat I suffered... I decided to b humble at home.... But I never tell them wat I'm suffering... Even after telling them.. I still feel d trauma... They don't still do anything or even advice.. They stopped giving me money except when I'm going to school that they will give... Sometimes I feel not part of d house and it makes me to fell like not doing anything. .. This story leads to a lot abt me... They re some things.. I won't write here... U can WhatsApp me
Pls help me... I can I let go of this trauma....
They complain I don't do things for them like ironingbhis clothes... Like I said... I don't like doing things for him... Will it affect me... I don't want my children to be like me... Will it make my children be like that to me....
I'm in uni, 100l .. I appreciate d fact they sent me to school... School is not enough.... If I didn't choose to study.... They never asked hw I'm faring, hw I study.. Their own is that as long a s they send d money...... But they want me to teach their daughter mathematics.. I won't.. Is it okay too...
Sometimes I feel not useful... Hw can I stop this feeling... Just advice me pls anyhow.. Anywhere... I'm Crestfallen, shattered... Pls help.. In tears now

Alot of pple like me, might need help too...
Pls help... U need my WhatsApp number to help... Just tell me

Strange things are happening ooo, but why i never encounter such. I left my parents at the age of 15 when I finished my Ssce and since then i never think once returning der(living with them anymore) maybe am expose too early thats why i no take rubbish. I even Bleep those aunties for fun now and once a guy chat me up using dear i use to block him immediately instead of trying explaining rubbish to me. My advice to you is that you should mingle out with friends that are straight, don’t die in silence and don’t stay alone.

Otunba80:
Strange things are happening ooo, but why i never encounter such. I left my parents at the age of 15 when I finished my Ssce and since then i never think once returning der(living with them anymore) maybe am expose too early thats why i no take rubbish. I even Bleep those aunties for fun now and once a guy chat me up using dear i use to block him immediately instead of trying explaining rubbish to me. My advice to you is that you should mingle out with friends that are straight, don’t die in silence and don’t stay alone.

Hmmm, okay... Thanks Man... Really don't know how to make friends... I wld try... Thank u

hmmm, I could write a long list here but there is no point, you will figure it out on your own just stay strong.

I'm so sorry you have had to go through all that pain and it's worse when you have such parents who don't really know what it means to look out for a child, the urge to put in any effort into anything will not be there and you can't force it to be there (@least not for long) until you first work on yourself build your self esteem away from your parent, you have to stop waiting for their emotional support it will not come and will frustrate you more, do what you can for them, do what you can for your sister, play your role if they have refused to play theirs and don't worry you already know what they are not doing right so surely you won't do that to your children and things won't turn out the same.

Do not underrated the power of the most High God He plays a very vital role if you want to come out of this a better person. Take care and stay safe.

Do not force any friendship, it will further ruin you, work on Loving yourself regardless of who is willing to stay in your life or go. (that does not in anyway mean treat people like trash, a person that really loves himself will never treat others less, only they would not put up with BS from anyone)

It’s unfortunate that you’ve had to experience abuse at a tender age. Unfortunately Nigerians and Africans in general are only just becoming more vocal and aware of abuse to children. Since it’s somewhat new not every parent is equipped or has a know how on how to deal with this kind of situation. Again the average Nigerian parent is more bogged down by trying to survive and make the best for their offspring than providing emotional support.

Still what has happened to you though painful and sad is not the end of the world. What I mean is that you can rise above and should rise above.

If you are genuine about seeking help search out resources online. You’d find one or two support group and perhaps people who have shared thier stories that you can learn from.

At your age and as is common in many Nigerian homes your parents have certain expectations of you. These expectations include excelling academically and doing your share of the chores around the house. There’s no big deal to it and it’s a rite of passage more or less.

Your parents may have their shortcomings but you rise above by changing your mindset from victim to conqueror.

When you’re home assign yourself a task or chore and be diligent about it . It could be sweeping the entire house, washing the cars or fetching water. It all depends on the dynamic of your home. Ensure the generator is in top form ie remember to collect funds to purchase fuel for eg. Just take some bits on around the house. It’ll also help you assert yourself as a man and capable of being in charge.

I wish you all the best!

babythug:
It’s fortunate that you’ve had to experience abuse at a tender age. Unfortunately Nigerians and Africans in general are only just becoming more vocal and aware of abuse to children. Since it’s somewhat new not every parent is equipped or has a know how on how to deal with this kind of situation. Again the average Nigerian parent is more bogged down by trying to survive and make the best for their offspring than providing emotional support.

Still what has happened to you though painful and sad is not the end of the world. What I mean is that you can rise above and should rise above.

If you are genuine about seeking help search out resources online. You’d find one or two support group and perhaps people who have shared thier stories that you can learn from.

At your age and as is common in many Nigerian homes your parents have certain expectations of you. These expectations include excelling academically and doing your share of the chores around the house. There’s no big deal to it and it’s a rite of passage more or less.

Your parents may have their shortcomings but you rise above by changing your mindset from victim to conqueror.

When you’re home assign yourself a task or chore and be diligent about it . It could be sweeping the entire house, washing the cars or fetching water. It all depends on the dynamic of your home. Ensure the generator is in top form ie remember to collect funds to purchase fuel for eg. Just take some bits on around the house. It’ll also help you assert yourself as a man and capable of being in charge.

I wish you all the best!

The abuse to b sincere is increasing drastically.. But pple re not talking.... The stigma is too much.... For me to write all these.... Tell someone today u we're abused, they will b looking at u one kind... I hate it... It pains me even more... It aches me... Thanks though

Pheurly2:






Hmmm, okay... Thanks Man... Really don't know how to make friends... I wld try... Thank u

because you are use to ur phone, keeping straight online friends is also good but try to convince them for hangouts so you guys can meet. I don’t have friends offline too but der was a group WhatsApp I joined then, I enjoy the best of my life and we had a hangouts in the best area of lagos cos we paid 20k per person and ladies pay 5k so females r more than guys and it’s fun. The memory still fresh in my brain and i learn a lot from the group chat and till now I don’t have friends offline

Pheurly2:
Hi, nairalanders, I'm victor... I would need help from u guys please, it might b lengthy, juwtvtry and read.. I might need advice as well.. Let me begin... Pls forget my English...
"Hmm, at my tender age, then wen I was based in Lagos with my parents.. I was sexually abused, I'm a guy though, we get abused too.... Actually I was abused by a lady, she lured me to do dirty things for her.. I mean alot of dirty things.. I was turned into a sex object even by guys as well... They had sex with me, ejaculated in me, I was used.. And then I was just 10-11 years... I had my frost sex... At that age too... I had lost my dignity even as a guy.. I felt useless at some point.. Even till now I'm suffering from that pain... This continued for a long time... Even when my dad was transferred to Benin, when I went for visit to a church member's house, d same thing again... I told myself maybe that's what I'm meant for in this life. I shed tears... Right now as imi'm writing, my heart aches me .... I was convinced not to tell my parents.. Imagine even threatened to kill me at my age.... I couldn't tell them... Even if I could I wouldn't... Because my parents re just too strict, they stand by what they say alone, saying theirs is d best... I don't like talking them till now... They don't advice, question ur every action... Every thing I learnt abt life... I learned it myself... Till d point I dislike dem... Especially dad... U can't talk in our house... It doesn't make sense and count... This made me to become. E stubborn at home... I was feeling the trauma of d abuse... Sometimes I feel like committing suicide, I was depressed, I became an introvert in d process, I don't talk, my performances in my studies dropped.. I was shattered... And my parents still never noticed.. They never asked Wat's wrong.. Concerned about my sis alone... I stopped doing things because of that for them.. And my dad is a minister... I'm feeling pains now with tears... It was just last year I had to tell them, I had to call on his friend.... Even while telling him... He was not even heart broken for wat I suffered... Even my mom.. He was telling me his life story... That he was almost raped... And bla bla... If he told me earlier... If he had been advicing me earlier.... Will I nor have sense to escape wat I suffered... I decided to b humble at home.... But I never tell them wat I'm suffering... Even after telling them.. I still feel d trauma... They don't still do anything or even advice.. They stopped giving me money except when I'm going to school that they will give... Sometimes I feel not part of d house and it makes me to fell like not doing anything. .. This story leads to a lot abt me... They re some things.. I won't write here... U can WhatsApp me
Pls help me... I can I let go of this trauma....
They complain I don't do things for them like ironingbhis clothes... Like I said... I don't like doing things for him... Will it affect me... I don't want my children to be like me... Will it make my children be like that to me....
I'm in uni, 100l .. I appreciate d fact they sent me to school... School is not enough.... If I didn't choose to study.... They never asked hw I'm faring, hw I study.. Their own is that as long a s they send d money...... But they want me to teach their daughter mathematics.. I won't.. Is it okay too...
Sometimes I feel not useful... Hw can I stop this feeling... Just advice me pls anyhow.. Anywhere... I'm Crestfallen, shattered... Pls help.. In tears now

The good news is, regardless of everything you've being through, God still loves you very much and can heal you from all your hurt and make you completely whole and happy again.

You have been hurt deeply, and left sore with a wound in your soul.
What they did to you was unforgivable, but you have to learn to forgive everyone that hurt you because that is where your own healing process starts.
Forgiveness might be hard for you because they took advantage of your innocence and stole your childhood, but that is where God's grace comes in.
You need to seek God first and everything will begin to fall into place.
Find yourself in God through His word.

Mariangeles:


The good news is, regardless of everything you've being through, God still loves you very much and can heal you from all your hurt and make you completely whole and happy again.

You have been hurt deeply, and left sore with a wound in your soul.
What they did to you was unforgivable, but you have to learn to forgive everyone that hurt you because that is where your own healing process starts.
Forgiveness might be hard for you because they took advantage of your innocence and stole your childhood, but that is where God's grace comes in.
You need to seek God first and everything will begin to fall into place.
Find yourself in God through His word.

.. Thanks... I will

Pheurly2:




.. Thanks... I will

Sorry.