frozen70:


Pregnancy and after child birth makes a woman to be fat especially when she throws caution to the wind

As she is still breast feeding, she will have to eat enough so that she can lactate very well

Since she knows your type of woman, she has to work towards it because she will still add more weight for every child birth

Get a weight measuring scale for her

Seat her down and let her know that it's ment for her to do workout and reduce her weight so that she can fit into what shape you did want her to be and let her know how serious you are about it and she should start cutting down on her meals

Then the issue of seeing fat ladies as lazy people, you are already laying a foundation for her

She doesn't go to market, you cook most of the times.

Do what does she do, watching over her child ❓

You are praising her that she takes care of your child, it's her duty to do that so there is no special applause for that

You have made yourself virtually the house help at home, pls that is not love, you are creating more problems

Let her start doing those things while you look after the child

She will burn energy doing so

Don't come here and complain that she left everything for you and she is too lazy

Take caution now, let her do those things, more kids are coming

She is yet to know her duties at home

Sepsis:


As for the cooking at home, I’m the better cook and it’s easy for me so it’s not a problem doing it. Then the errands - the baby feeds frequently and everything about the baby is so demanding (the child is very active and needs more supervision than usual). We don’t have any help. It would be near impossible for her to juggle taking care of the baby and running errands while I’m working full time with no help. It’s not practical. I think being practical with situations should come first before we talk about roles.

And her activity levels are up because she does a lot of chores - baby and ours inclusive. She’s not lazy - just a little laid back and that’s more of an attitude thing than actionable choices. Trust me, I understand our situation better and I’m in the best position to make judgement on what’s suitable.

frozen70:


Pregnancy and after child birth makes a woman to be fat especially when she throws caution to the wind

As she is still breast feeding, she will have to eat enough so that she can lactate very well

Since she knows your type of woman, she has to work towards it because she will still add more weight for every child birth

Get a weight measuring scale for her

Seat her down and let her know that it's ment for her to do workout and reduce her weight so that she can fit into what shape you did want her to be and let her know how serious you are about it and she should start cutting down on her meals

Then the issue of seeing fat ladies as lazy people, you are already laying a foundation for her

She doesn't go to market, you cook most of the times.

Do what does she do, watching over her child ❓

You are praising her that she takes care of your child, it's her duty to do that so there is no special applause for that

You have made yourself virtually the house help at home, pls that is not love, you are creating more problems

Let her start doing those things while you look after the child

She will burn energy doing so

Don't come here and complain that she left everything for you and she is too lazy

Take caution now, let her do those things, more kids are coming

She is yet to know her duties at home

CHoccolaTE:



First of all you are not a female, remove that f beside your moniker

Secondly,
I wonder whether there is a special kind is selfish gene you men have inside yourselves. A man decides to assist his wife with chores at home and you are not happy about it, you are telling him to stop helping her and let her take over her responsibilities, what is wrong in his helping her while she exercises to lose weight? Must he withdraw his assistance and be one insensitive to her needs just because men like you feel housework must be handled by a woman and woman alone?

I just tire for una. Selfish insensitive lot.

If a woman decides to sit down, fold hands doing nothing and watch her husband work like Jacky to provide for the family, people like you will be the first to call her liability and demand that she should assist her husband in his job of providing

frozen70:


You got everything wrong

Go and read the post again

I am a female not a male

CHoccolaTE:


I didn't read anything wrong

It would be very unfortunate if a female is actually the one advising a man to stop helping his wife at home.

CHoccolaTE:


I wonder whether there is a special kind is selfish gene you men have inside yourselves. A man decides to assist his wife with chores at home and you are not happy about it, you are telling him to stop helping her and let her take over her responsibilities, what is wrong in his helping her while she exercises to lose weight? Must he withdraw his assistance and be one insensitive to her needs just because men like you feel housework must be handled by a woman and woman alone?

If a woman decides to sit down, fold hands doing nothing and watch her husband work like Jacky to provide for the family, people like you will be the first to call her liability and demand that she should assist her husband in his job of providing

Ouchbabe:

You are using Kim as a yardstick. I hope the Op has the kind of money that can afford Kim's kinds of weight reduction surgery?

Ariza:
On the contrary, I applaud her courage for taking up the challenge, one with lots of benefits for that matter. It's really nice and healthy to keep fit, she understood her man's desire and worked towards it, however like I stated earlier she shouldn't have stopped because she's now MARRIED.

Moreover staying in shape will keep her healthy too.

Sepsis:


It took a while but I’ve found what I was looking for. We can do this.

Oluneutral:




This thread should have been closed after this post or better still, there shouldn't have been any other response from you after this.

Good luck brother.

Sepsis:


I’ve addressed this prior so I’d just paste what I said earlier.

I’m sure you know how expressions work. I’m also sure you know about how ambiguation works with words. If I say I’m stuck with a curse, it means I’m stuck with a situation that’s refusing to get better. I didn’t say my wife was a curse. I’m referring to the problem not the person.

You guys read to react and respond and not to understand and it’s so unfortunate. I can’t be battling my issues and helping random people on the internet with comprehension of everything I say. It’s a lot of work.

Sepsis:


You know, the comments from some women on this thread made me feel it’s bad to help out at home. I was shocked and didn’t really want to address it because everyone has their preference as to how they want their family to turn out and that is okay. But I’ve been taken aback by some of the comments suggesting that helping out at home by cooking and running errands for the house makes a woman (who is already doing so much taking care of a little one) lazy.



My wife makes more money than I do (she runs a company outside Nigeria); has more assets than I do and she has a wealthy background. Her money is her money. She contributes occasionally financially and contrary to what a lot of people believe, she’s very hardworking.

I help out because it’s my family and there’s nobody else that would do these things for us. There is so many conjectures that has been thrown around on this thread that has nothing to do with the reason the thread began with and it’s sad to see people assume the worst for others by default. It’s really sad.

Mariangeles:


Most of the weight she lost through exercise.
Don't make it seem like it is impossible. Like I said, there's no excuse!
Kim Kardashian and her sisters eat very healthy. Mostly salads.
Some women will give any excuse to stay fat.
Losing weight is not impossible. Just cut down on the portion of food you eat, and eat more of fresh whole foods. You'll even be better for it.
There's nothing more annoying than a fat person who eats too much

frozen70:


Pregnancy and after child birth makes a woman to be fat especially when she throws caution to the wind

As she is still breast feeding, she will have to eat enough so that she can lactate very well

Since she knows your type of woman, she has to work towards it because she will still add more weight for every child birth

Get a weight measuring scale for her

Seat her down and let her know that it's ment for her to do workout and reduce her weight so that she can fit into what shape you did want her to be and let her know how serious you are about it and she should start cutting down on her meals

Then the issue of seeing fat ladies as lazy people, you are already laying a foundation for her

She doesn't go to market, you cook most of the times.

Do what does she do, watching over her child ❓

You are praising her that she takes care of your child, it's her duty to do that so there is no special applause for that

You have made yourself virtually the house help at home, pls that is not love, you are creating more problems

Let her start doing those things while you look after the child

She will burn energy doing so

Don't come here and complain that she left everything for you and she is too lazy

Take caution now, let her do those things, more kids are coming

She is yet to know her duties at home

Sepsis:


You know, the comments from some women on this thread made me feel it’s bad to help out at home. I was shocked and didn’t really want to address it because everyone has their preference as to how they want their family to turn out and that is okay. But I’ve been taken aback by some of the comments suggesting that helping out at home by cooking and running errands for the house makes a woman (who is already doing so much taking care of a little one) lazy.



My wife makes more money than I do (she runs a company outside Nigeria); has more assets than I do and she has a wealthy background. Her money is her money. She contributes occasionally financially and contrary to what a lot of people believe, she’s very hardworking.

I help out because it’s my family and there’s nobody else that would do these things for us. There is so many conjectures that has been thrown around on this thread that has nothing to do with the reason the thread began with and it’s sad to see people assume the worst for others by default. It’s really sad.

Graxie:
Didn't you read where he said she is watching what she eats and does portion control? Why are you making it look as if the woman is a glutton. As per your Kim comparison, maybe you need to google what she did.

frozen70:


If uptil now you don't get my point of view

Leave it and move to the next post

Sepsis:


You read my post right? I’ve never complained. I’ve never mentioned it. Never brought it up. I support her by helping out at home. I go to the market, cook, run errands, and still work full time as a doctor plus side hussles. I think I am more hardworking and supportive than most Nigerian men are. That isn’t even something we should be talking about.

The crux of the matter is there. I wonder why most females responding to this post are conveniently avoiding it. Someone even tried to insult me above but I overlooked it. Are you guys saying that you don’t really get what the problem is?

Mariangeles:


People get fat when they eat too much period.

Sepsis:


Tbvh the temptation is severe but I want to give everyone the benefit of doubt that I was patient. I don’t know how to spoon feed people into making decisions about their own lives. I should be banging the shit out of a hot wife but here I am making Nairaland posts about this issue. Totally sucks and God help everyone when I am tired.

Sepsis:


I don’t exactly mean that. But I hate to be threatened with a woman leaving a relationship due to infidelity. Heavens won’t fall

Mstick:
You're the dumbest female on this platform and I am surprised people actually take your comments seriously.


Are you not the one that have several comments encouraging men to commit adultery?

Or you think using emoji question mark makes you smart?? That's how uncultured and uneducated women like you go around causing confusion and putting women like you in a fix.

What's wrong in a man cooking for his family? After all he has commented severally about his wife doing majority of the child care.

I remember you quoting me when I made a sacarstic comment and you came in like a raging bull in a China shop without even understanding my comment but you want to show you're "pro woman" meanwhile you're just like the pickmesha I was talking about.

Sepsis:
Hey guys. I could use a little perspective on something that’s been bothering me. Got married for a little over a year now and I have a kid. The baby is not up to a year yet. The crux of the matter is my wife started stress eating after she delivered. Her weight was normal after delivery so it wasn’t as a result of the pregnancy. After delivery, she started eating a lot of junk. She wasn’t staying with me then - she was with her folks. Her eating wasn’t supervised.

Now she came back all fat and bigger than normal. When we dated, she knows my stance on being overweight. I have a special dislike for fat or thick girls. They always look lazy and clumsy and I’ve never been attracted to a fat lady.

Now she’s overweight. She looks way older than I am and I don’t know how to force myself to be attracted to her. When I see pictures of men and their wives looking fit, it makes me wish that was me.

We haven’t taken any picture together in up to six months. She hasn’t taken any either. I can’t post her on my social media because I’m not proud of the situation.

She has a good character and takes care of the baby well. I work full time, run errands and cook for the house. Her main job is taking care of the baby. I have tried to help out domestically to lessen her burden. In fact, since we started living together she hasn’t gone to the market for one day.

I don’t know how to approach this situation. Already I’m sexually frustrated and I’m too young to be feeling this way.

paul100:
All i can say is take her to the gym,follow her because i don't trust gym trainers.Look at bianca ojukwu i think she is in her late 30s or early 40s but she has the body of 20yr old age.
There are also some herbs that reduce fat,you can google it out.

Sepsis:


It is okay to have a type. You women have a type of men you are attracted to and you are usually so vocal about it. We are socially conditioned to be acceptable of the type of men women find attractive - but heck not the man. Men should take any type of woman that comes his way and he should not have a preference as to what is his attractive specification.

This here is hypocrisy. If you are castigating me for having a type of woman I prefer, then you might as well castigate me for preferring eba to fufu. After all they are all swallow and they do the same thing.

Sepsis:


Everything you’ve typed here is a conjecture. No facts just assumptions. You want these assumptions to be so true because you want to give me a bad name. My wife has a life. She is not a designated housewife. She’s probably has more assets than most of you who are talking about her choice to stay home temporarily but that’s not why we are here today.

A lot of you have sidestepped the issue totally in order to sympathize with a woman who hardly needs your emotions. You need to invest that attention in something that would actually be beneficial to you.

You women hate it when a man finds you dispensable. It is okay to love someone and not find them indispensable. Because the truth is, nobody really is indispensable. So would you rather I live a lie?

igbowoman:


Bianca is in her early 50s

MMotimo:
It’s good to see that you’re not allowing yourself to be guilt tripped, thumbs up!

Weight is a very touchy topic for women the world over but somehow, perhaps because a lot of brothers prefer thick; black women are able to sing “I’m sexy and I know it” no matter how big they get as long as the makeup, clothes, hair and nails are taken care of. While the continued confidence despite expanding size is great, it often comes with self denial and an inability to accept responsibility for the continued increase in size. We just keep buying larger clothes which in itself is a big problem. This all works fine unless you are married to a man who does not like “fat sex.”

I’m a black woman too so I’m not knocking anybody and I would find it very difficult to tolerate a fat or pot bellied husband. I have been pregnant and I have kids so I know all about what happens to the body however that experience does not condemn you to a life of fat. Staying in shape takes time, sacrifice and commitment. It is not a walk in the park. If it were easy, everyone would do it.

I hope you and your wife find a workable solution, don’t give up on her. Hopefully, she has the right support around her and she’s not listening to anyone telling her to “rock her fat” because she birthed a child.

Some people like fat sex, some don’t. Like you said, some like eba and some like fufu.