I also discovered that nobody is too

Donald3d:
I shared in your fears at a point, until I got enlightened.
I would share what I have learnt

EDIT :

-You have to first of all value yourself. If you don't, no one would value you.

-You have to have good value, its different from valuing yourself. A thief might value himself, but he definitely doesn't have value.

-You also have to ask yourself if you are worth marrying. Many men focus on marrying wife materials, but they are not husband materials. Are you a husband material ?

-You have to be ready to be selfless, if you are not, marriage isn't for you.

-You have to know what you want in a spouse. If you don't know what you want, how would you know when you see it.

-If you are a Christian, you need to tell God to direct you. Pray for wisdom and the spirit of discernment.

-God might not show you a dream or vision of your wife, that's why you need the above. When you see her, and study her for a while, with divine direction and discernment, you would just know.

-Marry someone who is going to give you peace, without it, nothing else would make sense.

-Make sure she is your friend first, if she isn't your friend first, when an issue comes up it would be difficult to resolve. Your friendship with each other makes you miss each others company. You wouldn't be able to stay too long without talking to your friend. This makes conflict resolution easier and quicker.

- Make sure she is also selfless. Marriage with two selfless people is the sweetest.

- Third party ruins things. Everybody apart from the two of you are third party. This includes your pastor, your parents , your siblings. No one should live in your house.

-Pray together, always.

-During courtship, don't cloud your judgment with romantic love and sex. This is why building true friendship is the most important. Anyone can give you romantic love and sex, not everyone can be a friend and a partner.

-Make sure, you aren't a lazy person, don't marry a lazy person. Its not restricted to physical laziness, it includes spiritual and mental laziness

-Make sure she makes you happy, synonymous to peace of mind.

-Make sure she has value and can give value.


If I remember any other, I would include it.



EDIT

-IN choosing the right person, you have to pay attention to their verbal and non verbal communication. You have to watch closely how they treat other people, especially people who have nothing to offer them. This is one of the best ways to know a selfless person

Ohhhh.... My!!!
I really wish I can like this comment over and over again. You are so full of wisdom.
You always make sense in any advice you dished out and I always look forward to reading your comments.

Thumbs up to you

ojun50:
He who find a wife find favour from the lord.

Marriage has it own up and down but my broda, if you find a woman who love peace and a peaceful environment. You will enjoy ur marriage.

Avoid this kind of woman

1... The one's that received too much calls from male or female friends.
2..... [s]The one that are too close to there family[/s]
3..... ]the one that like up to date fashion
4.......the one that can't support you financial

They said “marry”, not “cage”

CosmicJames:
Lower down on your expectations. Don't look for or expect perfection. Be kind and considerate. Don't take things too high. Try or learn to be simple. Take things simple too. Finally, Mary someone who have the fear of God and you will be fine

Sweet Gaud

I also discovered that nobody is too good and nobody is too bad. What I mean by this is that, even the ones that are said to be bad somebody somewhere desires to get such as his partner. For example, my neighbor always have issues with the wife if she didn't attack the person who crossed her ways. Yet me that my wife can fight, I'm always sad about it. If you said she is bad, it will only make sense to someone who doesn't like to fight but she is a big plus ( advantage) to the one (the man) who likes to fight.

* If any man is favoured to find a woman who can handle situations like he would have done, should he be around, he will have:
10. Prolonged life
9. Peace, I have posted 8 to 1. And such people have the experience of heaven on Earth.
They always thanks God for the blessings of marriage.

The challenge is how to get that "another you".
This is made difficult because of pretence, especially from female forks.

missyojo:


Ohhhh.... My!!!
I really wish I can like this comment over and over again. You are so full of wisdom.
You always make sense in any advice you dished out and I always look forward to reading your comments.

Thumbs up to you

Thank you ma'am

bukatyne:


I was going to type, then you did it for me.

Thank you.

thehedge:
you are wise. You should coach more men, and I'll pray for a woman that will coach more women..... I know people are more likely to listen if it's coming from same gender

thehedge:
oh God bless you, this is what i was going to say

Bless you too ma'am

*. I discovered that it's a BIG mistake to presume or assume that your partner will change when you get married. NO! If you can not over look it in the future,stay clear now.
From my experience and the interaction with other people,
*. I discovered that in the marriage, the arrival of children makes men to cool down and become responsible but the arrival of the children makes women to think and also act it that "there's nothing more at this time to lose". At this juncture, if a man is not careful, there will be a lot of blames, regrets and confusion.
Wise men play fool; strong men play weak at this point just to avoid putting the life the kids in bad conditions.
This is what makes 90% of men to have mistress (side chick), because his woman now derives satisfaction from the bubbly children. No sex, no this, no that, shouting at you as a reply to your questions; oh, what a temptation!
NOTWITHSTANDING, the advantages of marriage is greater than its disadvantages.
I'll stop here for now, take care.

Rounding off a masters programme yet thinking like a JSS 3 student. I have this hypothesis that the problem of Nigeria is an annoying uniformity of thinking. In Nigeria, everyone thinks in one direction: both the so-called educated and the unlettered.

Oga, a person like you suppose to know that marriage requires a lot of hard work and sacrifice. It is something you should properly understood before taking a leap.

SocialJustice:
Get yourself a baby mama. Case closed.

Make sure you do not abandon your baby for the mother as they are your responsibility.

To be safe, make sure you get a baby mama that has her own money and can keep going even with little or without monetary input from you.

As the life be now, I do not see why a guy who earns a living should be rolling with broke bitches. Get yourself an earning woman too.

Bad advice.

mrblessed:
Rounding off a masters programme yet thinking like a JSS 3 student. I have this hypothesis that the problem of Nigeria is an annoying uniformity of thinking. In Nigeria, everyone thinks in one direction: both the so-called educated and the unlettered.

Oga, a person like you suppose to know that marriage requires a lot of hard work and sacrifice. It is something you should properly understood before taking a leap.

Understand

whyteteeth:
I am 31yrs old. I am rounding off with my masters. I have a job, howbeit not very lucrative. I live on my own and I am not in any serious relationship at the moment.

Marriage has been on my mind for some time now because I think it's a good thing to marry early but I am scared of the unforseen things marriage brings.

I am scared of ending up with the wrong person that will make my life miserable.

I am scared of the unfathomable commitments that come with marriage.

I am scared of losing touch with the pursuit of my dreams since I am still building myself towards my career goals.

To make matters worse, when I see what married people go through, it looks like some of them are regretting why they got married.

Please married people, share your experience let me see what I can make out of your views.

Marriage is sweet if your are very fortunate to get the one with true love

Marriage problems are as old as nature, social media now brought it out and you becomes aware of it

Don't be scare of marriage, go into marriage when you know that you are full prepared to face the challenges of marriage

It's not the same thing as Friendship but more benefitial than friendship

It's inky God that can direct one's parth to good life

So be calm and walk the walk, that's what makes you a responsible man

OP finding the right partner is the most arduous task ahead of you, do that and you would have solved half of your worries about getting married.

Why not start by genuinely entering into platonic relationships with single, amiable, working class & matured ladies with a view of taking it up a notch higher if it hit the right notes?

Keyword is right and not perfect coz non is perfect.

mrblessed:
Rounding off a masters programme yet thinking like a JSS 3 student. I have this hypothesis that the problem of Nigeria is an annoying uniformity of thinking. In Nigeria, everyone thinks in one direction: both the so-called educated and the unlettered.

Oga, a person like you suppose to know that marriage requires a lot of hard work and sacrifice. It is something you should properly understood before taking a leap.

Perfect human being, but you don't have to insult the Op before you drive your point.

Am married...
Don't go into marriage with the hope of rosiness...
There will be crisis...
There will be argument.....
There will be temptations.......
There will be fights. ..
Go in with the intention of fighting for your marriage to make it work..
Study your partner
Understand her...
Listen to her...
Talk softly to her...
Rebuke her softly....
Don't always invite a third party..
Take advise from those that u know loves u....
Don't always disclose about your relationship.....
...
Marriage isn't a bed or roses brother....
It's an arena where u need a lot of patience n overlookings...

Am not perfect though but have learnt all this within my three years in marriage...


Architect lawal is here.....
If you want a beautiful n good design of a lovable home...
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