Please guys, I have something bothering me so much, I will really appreciate it if I can get a matured response.

These might be long, but please bare with me

There is this girl have been dating since March 2021. Although, we met in University days and we have been dating since 2017, but because I was graduating and she has 1 more year to spend in the school, I left her and travelled to Lagos to work, because I got a job in a company in Lagos, immediately I graduated. I needed to concentrate on my future so I told her I want to pause the relationship to focus, but I will definitely be back for her, I promised her this. She was a virgin then!

After working in the company for 2years, I also learnt some IT skills online while I was working in the company, and I was earning cool money from it, so I decided to quit the job and focus more on the online business.

My business have been doing well and I have about 2 other virtual assistant helping me out, anyway I was kind of comfortable, so I thought of fulfilling my promise to my girlfriend. I called her one morning, and she was shocked! We chatted a bit and I told her I want us to see urgently, we schedule a date for her to meet me in the hotel, because I was staying in Lekki and he stays around Surulere, I wanted an hotel close to her house, so she can return early.

We met at the hotel and I can see she missed me so much, around 3pm I told her I'm back and I want us to continue dating and I'm ready to settle down, she agreed and we have been dating, all this happened around March 2021. Around April, I travelled out for about 2months, but I was very communicating with her, and when I got back around June, I discovered she had sex with another guy in May. Now, I wouldn't say she did it because of money, because I pay her 20k every month for upkeep, sometimes I just pay her 30k! She is not a wayward girl though, and she is not a type that sleeps around with guys back then in school, but once i came back into her life, I see a different girl entirely, when I came back she wasn't a virgin anymore, it's not my problem anyway, because the truth is I never forgot her during all those years I left her behind.

I didn't tell her I knew she cheated on me, but all I do tell her was that she did something bad to me and I want her to open up to me about it, but my girl kept on denying it, she sworn with her life, that she didn't cheat on me, that night I was shocked. Then, I didn't talk about it again till September, I gave her those months to regret her actions and confess to me, but she never did, also I didn't stop helping her financially, I still pay her monthly for upkeep. I know you will be wondering why I give her money, right? This girl was with me and loyal to me when I had nothing, like nothing at all! She was raised by a single mother and she is struggling a lot, after graduating she decided to go for Hair Stylist training, that is where she is currently. So I just give her money monthly just to stay strong.

So around September I decided to tell her she cheated on me, although it was that once, she begged, cried and told me she was drunk and regretted it, she told me she doesn't want to tell me because she knows I will end the relationship, well to be candid I love her so much, so I decided to forgive her, but since that day, trusting her was very very difficult for me. Although, I do watch her and since then I have never seen anything of such from her.

January 2022, her mother stopped her from coming to my place, she wants me to come see her first before she can allow her daughter to come visit me again. So, I went to see her mom last month and I made my intentions known to her, I told her I will want to marry her daughter and she said she is okay with it, if her daughter is okay with me.

This girl is my type of girl but, she has some behaviours that sincerely I don't think I can deal with.

She has this mindset of "A woman should be equal to a man".

She doesn't respect me, she chats with random guys and if they invite her for outing, she goes with them, even if I tell her not to go! When she visits me, she says I must join her in doing the house chores, she will say "It's either you clean the house and I will wash the plates and cook, or she wash the plates and cook, while I clean the house". And sometimes if she wants to cook for me, she will want me to come to the kitchen with her and do some works, maybe Grind pepper with blender or slice onion, if I dont, she gets annoyed, saying will she be the one to be doing all?

She did something that annoyed me this morning, around 6am today I went to the filling station to get petrol, well she knows I eat early always, maybe 6am or 7am, I would have taken breakfast, but she has never dished me food at that time, I always do it myself whenever she is around. When I got back from the filling station, I still met my girlfriend on the bed pressing her phone, I told her I'm hungry and I will want to eat Spaghetti with tomato sauce, and she replied "Baby, please cook it yourself, you said I'm your queen, pamper me na" Really? What does that have to do with you cooking for your fiance?

Well, I was annoyed, I went to the kitchen and prepared the food myself, the truth is when the food was ready, I only dished my own and ate, she said "What about her? Won't she eat?" I didn't answer her!

Aside from this, sincerely sometimes she talks to me rudely, and one thing she and I knows is that she is very very stubborn and not ready to submit to any man. Sincerely, this attitude is making me scared of settling down with her, I want to propose her this year and do the marriage rights but with all this behaviours I'm thinking the marriage will be hell for me.

When she came over yesterday, I prepared food for her before her arrival, and I served her, all she could say was "What is this? The food taste bad! Is this food or poison?" She never gave a good compliments about the meal, yet she finished the food and went for second round.

Last night before we went to bed, I told her to warm the rice and the stew, she said it won't get spoilt that she will do it in the morning, I asked her if she is sure, she said Yes. And I went to the kitchen before preparing my Spaghetti, I saw the rice is already bad and can't be eaten, I showed it to her and she was like "haaa she doesn't know it will spoil"

Also, the chicken I bought yesterday to cook her the meal, I couldn't use all, I left some in the pot, and I forgot to warm it last night, my girl saw it while washing the plates this morning, and she was like "What is this?" I told her chicken and she said "And you didn't warm it" she left it there in the pot like that without doing anything to revive it. Before I went to the kitchen to do it myself!

She only washed the plates, bath and went to church this morning, she didn't arrange the bed, nor sweep the room littered with all we ate last night. I'm sure of the message she is passing to me... "Have washed the plates, you clean the house".

Please guys, I want to propose her around August and settle down with her in November, but this behaviours are the things turning me off.

Will she changed and act normal when we get married, or this will continue? The guys she chat with, which I told her I don't like it, she replied that "She will never and ever leave them". All these types of attitudes and not showing me respect, do you think she will change after we get married or she will continue?

Please guys, I'm very confused here

Op is a noise maker, anybody that read all that note up there is also a noise maker... I move...

I think you should marry her.

Why would you let her being a cheat get in the way of what you share?

I can not pay 20k monthly subscription on kpekus since March 2021 till date and let it go down the drain just because I know the woman is no good to my future.

It doesn't matter if she cheats on you, talks back at you, demands equality or isn't homely, what matters is love.
As long as you love her, the least you can do for a lady who stood by you when you had nothing is to stand by her and be supportive of all her dreams.

As she's gone to church, surprise her.
Watch some YouTube videos on how to cook the perfect Sunday stew or read up some of Pocohantas 's cooking topics so you can serve her the best possible meal with an apology letter for being irresponsible enough not to warm the chicken this morning.

That's how to pamper a woman.

If she wants to go hang out with other men, just beg her not to sleep over with them. If she insists she wants to sleep over with them, beg her not to have sex with them. If she insists she wants to have sex with them, then beg her to tell them not to cum inside her.

But if they do and she brings back a bastard baby home, allow the Christian in you love her and the baby just like Christ has loved the church.

If you really love a woman, you shouldn't be scared of anything. Just be reassured that no matter how many preeks she fvcks outside, she'd be back to you.
All you need is love.

My Bible tells me in 1st John 4:18 that "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear,"

Work on yourself, throw away your insecurities, spend more time in the kitchen, learn to treat that woman like a queen and don't stop loving her for the peril she is.

You have 5months to prepare a mind-blowing public proposal and 8months to happily walk into your unhappy future, now is the time to hire the best event planners so you create a lasting impression.

The good part is that if you marry her, you won't need to be paying that 20k monthly subscription. You can then channel it to buying Valium 5 for the sleepless nights she's going to torment you with.

Over to Lalasticl.ala and the other elders.

NwaAmaikpe:

Hmm...

Nairaland psycho is back

NwaAmaikpe:

NwaAmaikpe:





I think you should marry her.

Would you let her being a cheat get in the way of what you share?

It doesn't matter if she cheats on you, talks back at you, demands equality or isn't homely, what matters is love.
As long as you love her, the least you can do for a lady who stood by you when you had nothing is to stand by her and be supportive of her dreams.

If she wants to go hang out with other men, you, just beg her not to sleep over with them. If she insists she wants to sleep over with them, beg her not to have sex with her. If she insists she wants to have sex with them, then beg her to tell them not to cum inside her.

Odogwu, the efulefu deserve this sarcastic advice.


Nice to have you back.

Long story. Didn't read.

NwaAmaikpe:





I think you should marry her.

Why would you let her being a cheat get in the way of what you share?

I can not pay 20k monthly subscription on kpekus since March 2021 till date and let it go down the drain just because I know the woman is no good to my future.

It doesn't matter if she cheats on you, talks back at you, demands equality or isn't homely, what matters is love.
As long as you love her, the least you can do for a lady who stood by you when you had nothing is to stand by her and be supportive of all her dreams.

If she wants to go hang out with other men, you, just beg her not to sleep over with them. If she insists she wants to sleep over with them, beg her not to have sex with them. If she insists she wants to have sex with them, then beg her to tell them not to cum inside her.

But if she does and brings back a bastard baby home, allow the Christian in you love her and her baby just like Christ has loved the church.

If you really love a woman, you shouldn't be scared of anything. Just be reassured that no matter how many preeks she fvcks outside, she'd be back to you.
All you need is love.

My Bible tells me in 1st John 4:18 that "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear,"

Work on yourself, build up the love you have for her, throw away your insecurities, spend more time in the kitchen, learn to treat a woman like a queen.
You have 5months to prepare a mind-blowing public proposal and 8months to happily walk into your unhappy future.

The good part is that if you marry her, you won't need to be paying the 20k monthly subscription. You can then channel that money to buying Valium 5 for the sleepless nights she's going to torment you with.

Flawless victory.

1 item on the list of things she does is enough to send a man packing.

Let alone when the list has sections and subsections.

OP doesn't need advise

She obviously doesn't respect you. Why should you marry her?

.....You will be making the greatest mistake of your life if you go ahead to marry her.

Bewarned. All you simps who doesn't see clearly because of the sweetness of sex.

Op. Na mumu men like you women dey call REALMEN.

But in their mind,dem know say you be confirmed MUGU.

Bros there is nothing wrong with the girl.

All I can see is a very confused man who dosen't have an idea of what he wants.

You claim u dated this girl way back in school, you didn't notice all these, now u came back and didn't notice it also. Now u have noticed it u still want to propose? That's a question for u to answer bro.


On a very good day these ur complaints ain't big deals the problem is that you don't know what u want

NwaAmaikpe:





I think you should marry her.

Why would you let her being a cheat get in the way of what you share?

I can not pay 20k monthly subscription on kpekus since March 2021 till date and let it go down the drain just because I know the woman is no good to my future.

It doesn't matter if she cheats on you, talks back at you, demands equality or isn't homely, what matters is love.
As long as you love her, the least you can do for a lady who stood by you when you had nothing is to stand by her and be supportive of all her dreams.

As she's gone to church, surprise her.
Watch some YouTube videos on how to cook the perfect Sunday stew or read up some of Pocohontas 's cooking topics so you can serve her the best possible meal with an apology letter for being irresponsible enough not to warm the chicken this morning.

That's how to pamper a woman.

If she wants to go hang out with other men, just beg her not to sleep over with them. If she insists she wants to sleep over with them, beg her not to have sex with them. If she insists she wants to have sex with them, then beg her to tell them not to cum inside her.

But if they do and she brings back a bastard baby home, allow the Christian in you love her and the baby just like Christ has loved the church.

If you really love a woman, you shouldn't be scared of anything. Just be reassured that no matter how many preeks she fvcks outside, she'd be back to you.
All you need is love.

My Bible tells me in 1st John 4:18 that "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear,"

Work on yourself, throw away your insecurities, spend more time in the kitchen, learn to treat that woman like a queen and don't stop loving her for the peril she is.

You have 5months to prepare a mind-blowing public proposal and 8months to happily walk into your unhappy future, now is the time to hire the best event planners so you create a lasting impression.

The good part is that if you marry her, you won't need to be paying that 20k monthly subscription. You can then channel it to buying Valium 5 for the sleepless nights she's going to torment you with.

Over to Lalasticlala and the other elders.

NwaAmaikpe:





I think you should marry her.

Why would you let her being a cheat get in the way of what you share?

I can not pay 20k monthly subscription on kpekus since March 2021 till date and let it go down the drain just because I know the woman is no good to my future.

It doesn't matter if she cheats on you, talks back at you, demands equality or isn't homely, what matters is love.
As long as you love her, the least you can do for a lady who stood by you when you had nothing is to stand by her and be supportive of all her dreams.

As she's gone to church, surprise her.
Watch some YouTube videos on how to cook the perfect Sunday stew or read up some of Pocohontas 's cooking topics so you can serve her the best possible meal with an apology letter for being irresponsible enough not to warm the chicken this morning.

That's how to pamper a woman.

If she wants to go hang out with other men, just beg her not to sleep over with them. If she insists she wants to sleep over with them, beg her not to have sex with them. If she insists she wants to have sex with them, then beg her to tell them not to cum inside her.

But if they do and she brings back a bastard baby home, allow the Christian in you love her and the baby just like Christ has loved the church.

If you really love a woman, you shouldn't be scared of anything. Just be reassured that no matter how many preeks she fvcks outside, she'd be back to you.
All you need is love.

My Bible tells me in 1st John 4:18 that "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear,"

Work on yourself, throw away your insecurities, spend more time in the kitchen, learn to treat that woman like a queen and don't stop loving her for the peril she is.

You have 5months to prepare a mind-blowing public proposal and 8months to happily walk into your unhappy future, now is the time to hire the best event planners so you create a lasting impression.

The good part is that if you marry her, you won't need to be paying that 20k monthly subscription. You can then channel it to buying Valium 5 for the sleepless nights she's going to torment you with.

Over to Lalasticlala and the other elders.

Best advice I have seen on nairaland... This kind advice na reverse psychology settings...


Op that girl has a serious boyfriend... All those time you left her, she has moved on... Know this and know peace.

@ bewov

Pls discharge that girl.

Leave her alone, pls dont do mistake of bn a gentleman by following what some oponus wil tell u, dey wil tell u to sit her down blablabla, but well u can report her to her mother sha but i wont advise u go ahead else u would cry a bitter cry.

Tink of ten years to this tym and not now, think of wen u grow older and not now that u are agile.

How can i pay u monthly stipend, provide the little i can for u, buy the food we are to eat with my money and u re stil expecting me to join u in the cooking.

I wil never be a mumu in my life, i qm a pro man, i am not a pro women cus women dies not benefit men without having much more beneficial to dem back.

Open ur brain ologbeni

But you never marry her now

She can sleep with whomever she wants to until you do the needful

No come here use excuse not to marry her

If you no won marry her

Send her number

bewov:
Please guys, I have something bothering me so much, I will really appreciate it if I can get a matured response.

These might be long, but please bare with me

There is this girl have been dating since March 2021. Although, we met in University days and we have been dating since 2017, but because I was graduating and she has 1 more year to spend in the school, I left her and travelled to Lagos to work, because I got a job in a company in Lagos, immediately I graduated. I needed to concentrate on my future so I told her I want to pause the relationship to focus, but I will definitely be back for her, I promised her this. She was a virgin then!

After working in the company for 2years, I also learnt some IT skills online while I was working in the company, and I was earning cool money from it, so I decided to quit the job and focus more on the online business.

My business have been doing well and I have about 2 other virtual assistant helping me out, anyway I was kind of comfortable, so I thought of fulfilling my promise to my girlfriend. I called her one morning, and she was shocked! We chatted a bit and I told her I want us to see urgently, we schedule a date for her to meet me in the hotel, because I was staying in Lekki and he stays around Surulere, I wanted an hotel close to her house, so she can return early.

We met at the hotel and I can see she missed me so much, around 3pm I told her I'm back and I want us to continue dating and I'm ready to settle down, she agreed and we have been dating, all this happened around March 2021. Around April, I travelled out for about 2months, but I was very communicating with her, and when I got back around June, I discovered she had sex with another guy in May. Now, I wouldn't say she did it because of money, because I pay her 20k every month for upkeep, sometimes I just pay her 30k! She is not a wayward girl though, and she is not a type that sleeps around with guys back then in school, but once i came back into her life, I see a different girl entirely, when I came back she wasn't a virgin anymore, it's not my problem anyway, because the truth is I never forgot her during all those years I left her behind.

I didn't tell her I knew she cheated on me, but all I do tell her was that she did something bad to me and I want her to open up to me about it, but my girl kept on denying it, she sworn with her life, that she didn't cheat on me, that night I was shocked. Then, I didn't talk about it again till September, I gave her those months to regret her actions and confess to me, but she never did, also I didn't stop helping her financially, I still pay her monthly for upkeep. I know you will be wondering why I give her money, right? This girl was with me and loyal to me when I had nothing, like nothing at all! She was raised by a single mother and she is struggling a lot, after graduating she decided to go for Hair Stylist training, that is where she is currently. So I just give her money monthly just to stay strong.

So around September I decided to tell her she cheated on me, although it was that once, she begged, cried and told me she was drunk and regretted it, she told me she doesn't want to tell me because she knows I will end the relationship, well to be candid I love her so much, so I decided to forgive her, but since that day, trusting her was very very difficult for me. Although, I do watch her and since then I have never seen anything of such from her.

January 2022, her mother stopped her from coming to my place, she wants me to come see her first before she can allow her daughter to come visit me again. So, I went to see her mom last month and I made my intentions known to her, I told her I will want to marry her daughter and she said she is okay with it, if her daughter is okay with me.

This girl is my type of girl but, she has some behaviours that sincerely I don't think I can deal with.

She has this mindset of "A woman should be equal to a man".

She doesn't respect me, she chats with random guys and if they invite her for outing, she goes with them, even if I tell her not to go! When she visits me, she says I must join her in doing the house chores, she will say "It's either you clean the house and I will wash the plates and cook, or she wash the plates and cook, while I clean the house". And sometimes if she wants to cook for me, she will want me to come to the kitchen with her and do some works, maybe Grind pepper with blender or slice onion, if I dont, she gets annoyed, saying will she be the one to be doing all?

She did something that annoyed me this morning, around 6am today I went to the filling station to get petrol, well she knows I eat early always, maybe 6am or 7am, I would have taken breakfast, but she has never dished me food at that time, I always do it myself whenever she is around. When I got back from the filling station, I still met my girlfriend on the bed pressing her phone, I told her I'm hungry and I will want to eat Spaghetti with tomato sauce, and she replied "Baby, please cook it yourself, you said I'm your queen, pamper me na" Really? What does that have to do with you cooking for your fiance?

Well, I was annoyed, I went to the kitchen and prepared the food myself, the truth is when the food was ready, I only dished my own and ate, she said "What about her? Won't she eat?" I didn't answer her!

Aside from this, sincerely sometimes she talks to me rudely, and one thing she and I knows is that she is very very stubborn and not ready to submit to any man. Sincerely, this attitude is making me scared of settling down with her, I want to propose her this year and do the marriage rights but with all this behaviours I'm thinking the marriage will be hell for me.

When she came over yesterday, I prepared food for her before her arrival, and I served her, all she could say was "What is this? The food taste bad! Is this food or poison?" She never gave a good compliments about the meal, yet she finished the food and went for second round.

Last night before we went to bed, I told her to warm the rice and the stew, she said it won't get spoilt that she will do it in the morning, I asked her if she is sure, she said Yes. And I went to the kitchen before preparing my Spaghetti, I saw the rice is already bad and can't be eaten, I showed it to her and she was like "haaa she doesn't know it will spoil"

Also, the chicken I bought yesterday to cook her the meal, I couldn't use all, I left some in the pot, and I forgot to warm it last night, my girl saw it while washing the plates this morning, and she was like "What is this?" I told her chicken and she said "And you didn't warm it" she left it there in the pot like that without doing anything to revive it. Before I went to the kitchen to do it myself!

She only washed the plates, bath and went to church this morning, she didn't arrange the bed, nor sweep the room littered with all we ate last night. I'm sure of the message she is passing to me... "Have washed the plates, you clean the house".

Please guys, I want to propose her around August and settle down with her in November, but this behaviours are the things turning me off.

Will she changed and act normal when we get married, or this will continue? The guys she chat with, which I told her I don't like it, she replied that "She will never and ever leave them". All these types of attitudes and not showing me respect, do you think she will change after we get married or she will continue?

Please guys, I'm very confused here

If she can do this when you have not married her, she would be worse when you marry her.
If you know you can't tolerate her anymore please let her go and have a life for your self

Na so women dey do they can change anytime,
I saw a post on fp yesterday about guys seeing red flag and still going ahead to marry.
Op think wise make you no regret later.

Las Las you go still marry the girl. All these your complaints are not valid. That’s something you can work on. No relationship is perfect.

I wonder why you were bothered about her losing her virginity when you’ve lost yours long before you met her. E no make sense at all

Kwin Poco, let me do amebo this sunday afternoon . nwAmikpe is advicing bewov to use your cooking recipes on nairaland .

Twoclans:
Kwin Poco, let me do amebo this sunday afternoon . nwAmikpe is advising a male gender to use your cooking recipes on nairaland .

Smh. Somebody that is not well.

Did anybody read that epistle from the OP?

NwaAmaikpe:





I think you should marry her.

Why would you let her being a cheat get in the way of what you share?

I can not pay 20k monthly subscription on kpekus since March 2021 till date and let it go down the drain just because I know the woman is no good to my future.

It doesn't matter if she cheats on you, talks back at you, demands equality or isn't homely, what matters is love.
As long as you love her, the least you can do for a lady who stood by you when you had nothing is to stand by her and be supportive of all her dreams.

As she's gone to church, surprise her.
Watch some YouTube videos on how to cook the perfect Sunday stew or read up some of Pocohontas 's cooking topics so you can serve her the best possible meal with an apology letter for being irresponsible enough not to warm the chicken this morning.

That's how to pamper a woman.

If she wants to go hang out with other men, just beg her not to sleep over with them. If she insists she wants to sleep over with them, beg her not to have sex with them. If she insists she wants to have sex with them, then beg her to tell them not to cum inside her.

But if they do and she brings back a bastard baby home, allow the Christian in you love her and the baby just like Christ has loved the church.

If you really love a woman, you shouldn't be scared of anything. Just be reassured that no matter how many preeks she fvcks outside, she'd be back to you.
All you need is love.

My Bible tells me in 1st John 4:18 that "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear,"

Work on yourself, throw away your insecurities, spend more time in the kitchen, learn to treat that woman like a queen and don't stop loving her for the peril she is.

You have 5months to prepare a mind-blowing public proposal and 8months to happily walk into your unhappy future, now is the time to hire the best event planners so you create a lasting impression.

The good part is that if you marry her, you won't need to be paying that 20k monthly subscription. You can then channel it to buying Valium 5 for the sleepless nights she's going to torment you with.

Over to Lalasticlala and the other elders.

Onye ara

NwaAmaikpe:





I think you should marry her.

Why would you let her being a cheat get in the way of what you share?

I can not pay 20k monthly subscription on kpekus since March 2021 till date and let it go down the drain just because I know the woman is no good to my future.

It doesn't matter if she cheats on you, talks back at you, demands equality or isn't homely, what matters is love.
As long as you love her, the least you can do for a lady who stood by you when you had nothing is to stand by her and be supportive of all her dreams.

As she's gone to church, surprise her.
Watch some YouTube videos on how to cook the perfect Sunday stew or read up some of Pocohontas 's cooking topics so you can serve her the best possible meal with an apology letter for being irresponsible enough not to warm the chicken this morning.

That's how to pamper a woman.

If she wants to go hang out with other men, just beg her not to sleep over with them. If she insists she wants to sleep over with them, beg her not to have sex with them. If she insists she wants to have sex with them, then beg her to tell them not to cum inside her.

But if they do and she brings back a bastard baby home, allow the Christian in you love her and the baby just like Christ has loved the church.

If you really love a woman, you shouldn't be scared of anything. Just be reassured that no matter how many preeks she fvcks outside, she'd be back to you.
All you need is love.

My Bible tells me in 1st John 4:18 that "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear,"

Work on yourself, throw away your insecurities, spend more time in the kitchen, learn to treat that woman like a queen and don't stop loving her for the peril she is.

You have 5months to prepare a mind-blowing public proposal and 8months to happily walk into your unhappy future, now is the time to hire the best event planners so you create a lasting impression.

The good part is that if you marry her, you won't need to be paying that 20k monthly subscription. You can then channel it to buying Valium 5 for the sleepless nights she's going to torment you with.

Over to Lalasticlala and the other elders.

Number one, boss of all bosses.

Bro let her go of you value your peace of mind and future the red flags is already there no use pity kill yourself oh

bewov:
Please guys, I have something bothering me so much, I will really appreciate it if I can get a matured response.

These might be long, but please bare with me

There is this girl have been dating since March 2021. Although, we met in University days and we have been dating since 2017, but because I was graduating and she has 1 more year to spend in the school, I left her and travelled to Lagos to work, because I got a job in a company in Lagos, immediately I graduated. I needed to concentrate on my future so I told her I want to pause the relationship to focus, but I will definitely be back for her, I promised her this. She was a virgin then!

After working in the company for 2years, I also learnt some IT skills online while I was working in the company, and I was earning cool money from it, so I decided to quit the job and focus more on the online business.

My business have been doing well and I have about 2 other virtual assistant helping me out, anyway I was kind of comfortable, so I thought of fulfilling my promise to my girlfriend. I called her one morning, and she was shocked! We chatted a bit and I told her I want us to see urgently, we schedule a date for her to meet me in the hotel, because I was staying in Lekki and he stays around Surulere, I wanted an hotel close to her house, so she can return early.

We met at the hotel and I can see she missed me so much, around 3pm I told her I'm back and I want us to continue dating and I'm ready to settle down, she agreed and we have been dating, all this happened around March 2021. Around April, I travelled out for about 2months, but I was very communicating with her, and when I got back around June, I discovered she had sex with another guy in May. Now, I wouldn't say she did it because of money, because I pay her 20k every month for upkeep, sometimes I just pay her 30k! She is not a wayward girl though, and she is not a type that sleeps around with guys back then in school, but once i came back into her life, I see a different girl entirely, when I came back she wasn't a virgin anymore, it's not my problem anyway, because the truth is I never forgot her during all those years I left her behind.

I didn't tell her I knew she cheated on me, but all I do tell her was that she did something bad to me and I want her to open up to me about it, but my girl kept on denying it, she sworn with her life, that she didn't cheat on me, that night I was shocked. Then, I didn't talk about it again till September, I gave her those months to regret her actions and confess to me, but she never did, also I didn't stop helping her financially, I still pay her monthly for upkeep. I know you will be wondering why I give her money, right? This girl was with me and loyal to me when I had nothing, like nothing at all! She was raised by a single mother and she is struggling a lot, after graduating she decided to go for Hair Stylist training, that is where she is currently. So I just give her money monthly just to stay strong.

So around September I decided to tell her she cheated on me, although it was that once, she begged, cried and told me she was drunk and regretted it, she told me she doesn't want to tell me because she knows I will end the relationship, well to be candid I love her so much, so I decided to forgive her, but since that day, trusting her was very very difficult for me. Although, I do watch her and since then I have never seen anything of such from her.

January 2022, her mother stopped her from coming to my place, she wants me to come see her first before she can allow her daughter to come visit me again. So, I went to see her mom last month and I made my intentions known to her, I told her I will want to marry her daughter and she said she is okay with it, if her daughter is okay with me.

This girl is my type of girl but, she has some behaviours that sincerely I don't think I can deal with.

She has this mindset of "A woman should be equal to a man".

She doesn't respect me, she chats with random guys and if they invite her for outing, she goes with them, even if I tell her not to go! When she visits me, she says I must join her in doing the house chores, she will say "It's either you clean the house and I will wash the plates and cook, or she wash the plates and cook, while I clean the house". And sometimes if she wants to cook for me, she will want me to come to the kitchen with her and do some works, maybe Grind pepper with blender or slice onion, if I dont, she gets annoyed, saying will she be the one to be doing all?

She did something that annoyed me this morning, around 6am today I went to the filling station to get petrol, well she knows I eat early always, maybe 6am or 7am, I would have taken breakfast, but she has never dished me food at that time, I always do it myself whenever she is around. When I got back from the filling station, I still met my girlfriend on the bed pressing her phone, I told her I'm hungry and I will want to eat Spaghetti with tomato sauce, and she replied "Baby, please cook it yourself, you said I'm your queen, pamper me na" Really? What does that have to do with you cooking for your fiance?

Well, I was annoyed, I went to the kitchen and prepared the food myself, the truth is when the food was ready, I only dished my own and ate, she said "What about her? Won't she eat?" I didn't answer her!

Aside from this, sincerely sometimes she talks to me rudely, and one thing she and I knows is that she is very very stubborn and not ready to submit to any man. Sincerely, this attitude is making me scared of settling down with her, I want to propose her this year and do the marriage rights but with all this behaviours I'm thinking the marriage will be hell for me.

When she came over yesterday, I prepared food for her before her arrival, and I served her, all she could say was "What is this? The food taste bad! Is this food or poison?" She never gave a good compliments about the meal, yet she finished the food and went for second round.

Last night before we went to bed, I told her to warm the rice and the stew, she said it won't get spoilt that she will do it in the morning, I asked her if she is sure, she said Yes. And I went to the kitchen before preparing my Spaghetti, I saw the rice is already bad and can't be eaten, I showed it to her and she was like "haaa she doesn't know it will spoil"

Also, the chicken I bought yesterday to cook her the meal, I couldn't use all, I left some in the pot, and I forgot to warm it last night, my girl saw it while washing the plates this morning, and she was like "What is this?" I told her chicken and she said "And you didn't warm it" she left it there in the pot like that without doing anything to revive it. Before I went to the kitchen to do it myself!

She only washed the plates, bath and went to church this morning, she didn't arrange the bed, nor sweep the room littered with all we ate last night. I'm sure of the message she is passing to me... "Have washed the plates, you clean the house".

Please guys, I want to propose her around August and settle down with her in November, but this behaviours are the things turning me off.

Will she changed and act normal when we get married, or this will continue? The guys she chat with, which I told her I don't like it, she replied that "She will never and ever leave them". All these types of attitudes and not showing me respect, do you think she will change after we get married or she will continue?

Please guys, I'm very confused here

All these her characters are pure red flag, it's left for you to deal with it or not

But from my assessment, she is the type that "can't come and kill herself "

Love is not enough to hold marriage
Character of the person is the major point especially now that the world is galloping

If you don't like the feeling you get after eating yam, don't eat pounded yam

All what you listed there were what I was facing when I was dating my Ex,worst part this gal insisted I've to be paying her school fees and taking care of her upkeeps, I was taken care of her upkeeps and some school bills but I couldn't send money to my parents due to her everyday bills. I can't be taken care of your bills and still be rude to me, you can't come to my place and expect me to cook for you, who does that? I've short temper,so when I'm mad,pls hold your lips,but this gal would not only abusing me but hitting me if I stop talking and lay on the bed...Op you're bringing so many things on the table, Power is in your hand not the other way,you degree and she must follow.
I can't date a lady that's raised by a single mother or a broken home,no matter how you wash a pig, she'll still go back to the pits. I.e those kind beings don't know what love is so thay can't give what they don't have.Op! You better think Twice,Marriage is a long journey with ups and down.can you cope with all these her shits on a long run? If Yes,go ahead and wife her,but if No,Pls let her go.

A fooll in love.

Beremx:
Las Las you go still marry the girl. All these your complaints are not valid. That’s something you can work on. No relationship is perfect.

I wonder why you were bothered about her losing her virginity when you’ve lost yours long before you met her. E no make sense at all

How did you know this?

You are not ok

NwaAmaikpe has said it all!

Twizzy30:
A fooll in love.