And so it is that the illness tarries.

And the doctor concerned.

Sent me to go do a stress ECG.

And see a Cardiologist.

Saying that it would not be expensive.

Around N25,000 in total for the consultation with the Cardiologist and the stress ECG test.

At Luth or a General Hospital.

But he advised that because of COVID 19, the last place he will advise I go, are those hospitals.

And I should instead find a private hospital.

I called a friend who gave me a name of a Cardiologist in Victoria Island.

On Sanusi Fafunwa.

I went.

It was a top notch hospital.

High class.

Mask in effect.

Temperature taken.

Sanitizer used.

Before I spoke to the lady at the reception.

Who gave me the fees.

N150,000 to register.

N50,000 to see the Cardiologist.

N115,000 for the stress ECG.

A total of N315,000 for the same N25,000 at the government hospital.

So I told the lady at the reception who had been joined by a nurse.

That I had to consult my pastor first before I decide to spend that much on the test for an illness that my pastor can easily heal himself through anointed prayers.

The nurse looked at me.

Quizzical.

And asked.

"Who is your pastor?"

I responded.

"Prophet Bishop Pastor Odumeje"

She stared at me for a minute.

Then said.

"That man in Onitsha?"

I responded.

"Yes. The Liquid metal himself. He is the Lion. He is the fire. He is the fight. He is the War! I need to know he is aware of your high fees before I take any action."

She glanced over at the other lady.

I could see they were dazed.

They looked back at me.

I brought out my phone.

And placed a call.

Then I began speaking into the phone.

Then went silent as they looked at me.

After a minute I took the phone away from my ear and whispered to them.

"He is very angry. He is shouting that your prices are ludicrous."

Then I went back on the phone and kept listening as they watched on.

Their facial expression hidden behind their masks.

After a moment.

I looked back at them.

And said.

"He said I should ask you that - Who born you? Who be you? Who you? Who form you? You, you kolo? Who you? Who, where do you come from? Who do you send to? What brings you?"

The nurse looked at me confused.

And asked.

"What?"

I didn't respond as I listened to the phone.

The nurse looked back at the other lady.

They shook their heads.

And returned to looking back at me.

Once again I turned to them and said.

"He said I should remind you that if it is not
because I insisted on seeing a medical doctor he would have healed me himself if I can believe totally in the word the Prophet has spoken, since anyone who believes totally in the word of the Prophet is covered by the Prophet"

They stared at me.

I continued as I listened to the phone and relayed what I was hearing as I was hearing it.

My voice rising in tandem behind the face mask I was wearing.

In a full mimicking of the voice at the other end of the phone.

"He says he is the ladical Prophet, he is the lion himself, the Indaboski bahose, the dabooskabash, the Libadu, Sepre, the Lemande, the Abitoshaker, the War himself, the Fight! The battle! The liquid metal! The end of the sickness. The end of the disease. The virus himself!..."

And both ladies.

Suddenly.

Burst out laughing.

So.much so that they removed their masks.

And the nurse fell down on her knees shaking in laughter.

While the lady behind the desk leaned back on her chair billowing with laughter, tears streaming down her face.

As I joined them laughing and saying.

"He says the Lord has given him the power to dealt with every situation, every sickness and every battles in life."

I was trembling with laughter as I continued speaking.

And both ladies kept guffawing.

"He said if I believe totally in his power and can come to Onitsha then I would know that my sickness is gone, this week which is the first week and the first week which is coming this week, because the Lord has given him the orders and tell him things to do spiritual because he is a spiritual man..."

Lagos

Jude Idada
May 5, 2020

Looollll
ROTFF.

I hope you made this up.