Just thinking and asking why? Why is it always "wife" and "mother in law" issues that are always on the front page, in religious circles, in the families, communities, etc to settle? Could it be that they (women) deliberately decided to act that way? Or is it a mindset scenario?

Men and women both humans! Isn't it? But always the others(women) and not the men?
Food for thought.
Why don't husbands have martial issues with their father in laws like their wives?

Real Men chase money and not having fights over minor family issues, men tend to get along easily even at first meeting; perhaps coz most are always occupied with work or something

A good number of women especially in this clime are in a way jealous and so they are already in defensive mode when they notice another woman try to take their place...mother trying to control son, wife trying to proof she is more important to him and would be the one to bear him children

It's more like an indoctrination, even when there aren't issues, some create it from nowhere, coz they have been made the seen themselves as rivalries

But in all, there are good numbers of families with no such issues

Macsjebs:
Real Men chase money and not having fights over minor family issues, men tend to get along easily even at first meeting; perhaps coz most are always occupied with work or something

A good number of women especially in this clime are in a way jealous and so they are already in defensive mode when they notice another woman try to take their place...mother trying to control son, wife trying to proof she is more important to him and would be the one to bear him children

It's more like an indoctrination, even when there aren't issues, some create it from nowhere, coz they have been made the seen themselves as rivalries

But in all, there are good numbers of families with no such issues

Great one!

Anwons:


Great one!

Wehdone Sir

Men will always be Men

Adult males are naturally wired to understand themselves and have little or less things to prove to one another. If we're really talking about maturity, a sane man is more blessed, although I'm not trying to belittle women in any form.

Unlike them, there is usually a feeling of entitlement in every female adult. And this often leads to misunderstanding and intolerance among mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law.



I'm open for correction though

By staying safe, we save more lives!

A regular, reasonable man does 2 things from the first meeting.

1. He ( both sides) recognizes the weakness / low point of the other party .
2. He concludes that either he can manage the short comings or not.

Then, he moves on.
The man doesn't dwell on his in-laws faults / shortcomings, he works around it.

That, to me, is the difference.

The feminists, are they still around?

Not always true.

men don't have issues thierselve

Men don't have time for petty quarrels and squabbles.

Men understand is very high compare to women own

Anwons:
Just thinking and asking why? Why is it always "wife" and "mother in law" issues that are always on the front page, in religious circles, in the families, communities, etc to settle? Could it be that they (women) deliberately decided to act that way? Or is it a mindset scenario?

Men and women both humans! Isn't it? But always the others(women) and not the men?
Food for thought.
Why don't husbands have martial issues with their father in laws like their wives?

Op, they do have issues both no time plus the level of understanding can't be compared with that of women and furthermore, the responsibility on you both won't allow you to sleep with issues unless if you are not responsible, that is when you go to bed with issues

Anwons:
Just thinking and asking why? Why is it always "wife" and "mother in law" issues that are always on the front page, in religious circles, in the families, communities, etc to settle? Could it be that they (women) deliberately decided to act that way? Or is it a mindset scenario?

Men and women both humans! Isn't it? But always the others(women) and not the men?
Food for thought.
Why don't husbands have martial issues with their father in laws like their wives?

Iffa hear. both of mine are crazy people. They hate eachother's guts even tho they have never spent more than few hours in the same location.
We have successfully ignored both of them.

Fathers do not indoctrinate/brainwash their sons.

I have not seen where a wife's father will go to her matrimonial house to as little as pass the night.
If this does not happen, how on earth would her husband pick fight with her father, how will they know each other's weaknesses?
The fight between MILs and wives are mostly born out of over-familiarity.

I think this is because boundaries exist when it comes to a man's territory; there is some kind of code of ethics and respect that exists between men- thus the father-in-law respects himself and would never intrude into matters concerning his son-in-laws home and how it is run (financially, spiritually etc). Women, on the other hand, are nurturers, and love to teach, correct, grow etc and this sometimes results in chaos in an in-laws home, as boundaries are not respected and emotions are simmering.

For example, a father-in-law is not invited to help his son-law in his business (which is his territory) whereas a mother-in-law comes in to help her daughter-in-law at home when she gives birth (note that this is also a woman's territory. I believe that men would be equally annoyed and have issues with their father-in-laws if he came in and started telling the man how to run his business, who to employ, which business strategies are the best etc (this is how women feel sometimes with their mother-in-laws).

Another example is that a father-in-law would not want to sleep over at his son-in-laws home what more stay for a long extended period (if he visits in another country, he would probably stay for a maximum of one month whereas mom-in-laws could be there for over 6 months).

Women tend to be more emotional (this trait in women is what makes them caring, intuitive, and sensitive to the families needs; but it can also create problems if not managed in tensed up situations).

Men tend to be more logical (this is helpful in situations that do not require sentiments in making decisions, but can be a stumbling block in situations where deeper understanding and empathy is required).

NOTE: I am generalizing so this does not apply in all cases.

MY HUMBLE SUBMISSION

[quote author=YACAA post=89457466]I think this is because boundaries exist when it comes to a man's territory; there is some kind of code of ethics and respect that exists between men- thus the father-in-law respects himself and would never intrude into matters concerning his son-in-laws home and how it is run (financially, spiritually etc). Women, on the other hand, are nurturers, and love to teach, correct, grow etc and this sometimes results in chaos in an in-laws home, as boundaries are not respected and emotions are simmering.

For example, a father-in-law is not invited to help his son-law in his business (which is his territory) whereas a mother-in-law comes in to help her daughter-in-law at home when she gives birth (note that this is also a woman's territory. I believe that men would be equally annoyed and have issues with their father-in-laws if he came in and started telling the man how to run his business, who to employ, which business strategies are the best etc (this is how women feel sometimes with their mother-in-laws).

Another example is that a father-in-law would not want to sleep over at his son-in-laws home what more stay for a long extended period (if he visits in another country, he would probably stay for a maximum of one month whereas mom-in-laws could be there for over 6 months).

Women tend to be more emotional (this trait in women is what makes them caring, intuitive, and sensitive to the families needs; but it can also create problems if not managed in tensed up situations).

Men tend to be more logical (this is helpful in situations that do not require sentiments in making decisions, but can be a stumbling block in situations where deeper understanding and empathy is required).

NOTE: I am generalizing so this does not apply in all cases.

MY HUMBLE SUBMISSION

Good one there. Except the area of overfamiliarity between mother and daughter in-laws when they stays together, there are submissions by the female folks on how they(women) most times, discusses issues on how they will not welcome their mother In-laws in their houses on negative notes, even the spinsters are not left out on this.

Now, could it be that these unguided advice and creation of negative mindset amongst the female is a major factor that causing these feuds? If it does, why are women yet to understand the aftermath effects of bad influences to this regard as they are still indulging in it even with the facts that many couples are no longer together?

Acidosis:


Fathers do not indoctrinate/brainwash their sons.

Meaning?

Men are not treated like second hand people who have been given a golden opportunity by being married into the family as such need to to be under and serve everybody for the in-law family to love them. What will they have to complain about ?

I mean no matter the differences (and I’m sure they might have differences because we are all humans), they are still respected. The male-created cultures and traditions require it.

If the men’s families respect the women as much as the women’s families respect the men, there will hardly be any in-law clashes. You people keep asking questions a two old already knows the answer to.

Vyolet:
I have not seen where a wife's father will go to her matrimonial house to as little as pass the night.
If this does not happen, how on earth would her husband pick fight with her father, how will they know each other's weaknesses?
The fight between MILs and wives are mostly born out of over-familiarity.

Seriously??

It's because Fathers are not usually emotionally possessive of their children. If you meet a father in law with such nature there will be problem. Whereas more mothers are emotionally possessive, they can't stand the idea of letting go of their possession to another wwoman so they tend to manipulate and cause trouble for the new wife. If you meet a mother in law, who has got her life going, has things that keep her busy and a spouse or companion she is happily sharing life with, she won't have time for such things

Men are not wired to be petty.

Father in-laws and son in-laws know how to respect themselves.

Furthermore, from my perspective father in-laws and son in-laws rarely spend the time required for maximum see finish together.

If you notice the DIL and MIL fights mostly occur when they stay together.
MIL and DIL that rarely see each other rarely have problems.

The reason is simply because most of these women are basically at war with themselves. Anyone or anything with a vagîna around them is competition and a potential threat.

This is not just about wives and their mother-in-laws, or husbands and their father-in-laws.

It happens generally...

A lot of men have had the same friend or group of friends for over 15years and they still be going strong, but hardly women. Something always comes between them and their friend(s) sooner or later no matter how close they are.

In the average household, I never really hear stories of family members encroaching on the husband's territory (and being enabled) the way I hear they do to the wives.

With this kind of setup, why wouldn’t they have fewer issues?

Something is disproportionately in someone's favour and you're asking why/how they are doing better lol

Could it be that negative peer advice sometimes amongst female folks propels them(women) to predetermine how they won't accept their MILs even when their MILs has done no wrong?

Because most Fs-I-L never raised their children and so have no close ties to their children. Women remain the nurturers for LIFE!

Men are less dramatic. Simple.

ibkayee:
In the average household, I never really hear stories of family members encroaching on the husband's territory (and being enabled) the way I hear they do to the wives.

With this kind of setup, why wouldn’t they have fewer issues?

Something is disproportionately in someone's favour and you're asking why/how they are doing better lol

Bruno3000:
Men are less dramatic. Simple.

The scenarios are just kindergarten efforts to try shifting the narrative away from this simple fact.

Almost every woman has a story to tell about a close friendship with another female that went terribly sour.
And guess what? The reasons for it always seem absolutely stvpid to the hearing of a man.

They do, they don't just biiiitch about it.