he is a member of the NSA.

Don't jump into conclusion, take your time to investigate him,marriage is complicated

Your hubby is into Yahoo scam using hotel format

Woman focus on your life and leave your husband alone. No one is perfect. You are not perfect either. If you are tired of the marriage, you can quit honorably without hurting anyone. Because he is from Africa doesn't make him your house boy..... If you want to be happy LEAVE YOUR HUSBAND'S PHONE ALONE AND STOP SNUPPING AROUND LIKE AN AFRICAN MASQUERADE.

as curious as his behavior may seem. but you need to apply wisdom and not GUN or violence.

ANSWER THIS QUESTIONS

DO YOU LOVE YOUR HUBBY?

HAS HE BEEN A HUSBAND MATERIAL ALL THIS WHILE?
try this nuggets
(1)
call him, have a family meeting with him,
let him know that you aren't comfortable with what you found on his laptop, and you need him to stop
and with the connection you have you can help him find something worthwhile doing if he isn't doing so already ( job )

-- if he loves you, he would quit the illicit biz he does( if at all he's doing it)

(2) tell him you want to talk with him, let the environment be full of humour, throw this question to him
--- what kind of lifestyle does he wants you guys children to live( children show their parents behavior hereditarily)
--tell him he needs to stop any biz he's doing that's illegal


THIS IS A SUGGESTION.
MERCI!

He is in a 419 scam.

Reason the first mail had poorly written grammar is that, most fraudsters who start of the chat are not really that good some might be illiterates who are just lucky that a mugu came across them, since they don't know how to ask for money because of their poor skills they pass it on to someone else that's smarter.

The person uses his location and intellect to scam the victim, after its successful they share the loot.

I have a friend who is into this, since most foreigners are weary of hearing the word Nigeria, they pass it to another Nigerian in a foreign country. Which is more convincing as the call number is foreign, Whatsapp number foreign and other things

excanny:
I think he just used you to gain citizenship. He was never in love with you.


Maybe you should just quit him if you are not quite comfortable with his behaviours.

See the way people are out to destroyed someone else's relationship out of sheer jealousy, @ tasha7, my two cents is for you to stay with your loving husband and remove the elements of distrust you had introduced into your relationship and even taking it to the level of receiving validation from third parties, your marriage is still very young and if your hubby is hiding anything it's a matter of time before you decode it and it's not for anyone of us here to be able to say with absolute certainty except you want us as many have started doing here ; to help you destroy your relatively young relationship with guessed work , mind you, majority of people here are not married yet so don't be surprised when you start hearing things like "dump his ass" "he is a cheat" "here come the fraudstar" etc the basis truth is that your hubby need not be in Canada with you if he had really wanted to be a fraudstar or scammer , he must have been very sincere and deeply in love with you to have abondoned everything here to be with you in your own country so shun any advice from this forum to dump your hubby because im cock sure that some of them would have started slipping into your DM to message you for your contacts and details , as a sharp guy , we all knew what that means..

TheKingIsHere:


Is incognito created for one to be dodgy? If yes, why is it legal to use it?..It is common sense.

Incognito is dodgy, if not, why not do things legally?

excanny:
I think he just used you to gain citizenship. He was never in love with you.


Maybe you should just quit him if you are not quite comfortable with his behaviours.

This is not true. The guy is just a trying to get extra cash from yahoo

manmade:
See the way people are out to destroyed someone else's relationship out of sheer jealousy, @ tasha7, my two cents is for you to stay with your loving husband and remove the elements of distrust you had introduced into your relationship and even taking it to the level of receiving validation from third parties, your marriage is still very young and if your hubby is hiding anything it's a matter of time before you decode it and it's not for anyone of us here to be able to say with absolute certainty except you want us as many have started doing here ; to help you destroy your relatively young relationship with guessed work , mind you, majority of people here are not married yet so don't be surprised when you start hearing things like "dump his ass" "he is a cheat" "here come the fraudstar" etc the basis truth is that your hubby need not be in Canada with you if he had really wanted to be a fraudstar or scammer , he must have been very sincere and deeply in love with you to have abondoned everything here to be with you in your own country so shun any advice from this forum to dump your hubby because im cock sure that some of them would have started slipping into your DM to message you for your contacts and details , as a sharp guy , we all knew what that means..

That one apart, scammer or not cheating or not most people find it difficult allowing others go through their phones. Women are very emotional just small hi dear u tell someone on fb can cause a big fight

manmade:
See the way people are out to destroyed someone else's relationship out of sheer jealousy, @ tasha7, my two cents is for you to stay with your loving husband and remove the elements of distrust you had introduced into your relationship and even taking it to the level of receiving validation from third parties, your marriage is still very young and if your hubby is hiding anything it's a matter of time before you decode it and it's not for anyone of us here to be able to say with absolute certainty except you want us as many have started doing here ; to help you destroy your relatively young relationship with guessed work , mind you, majority of people here are not married yet so don't be surprised when you start hearing things like "dump his ass" "he is a cheat" "here come the fraudstar" etc the basis truth is that your hubby need not be in Canada with you if he had really wanted to be a fraudstar or scammer , he must have been very sincere and deeply in love with you to have abondoned everything here to be with you in your own country so shun any advice from this forum to dump your hubby because im cock sure that some of them would have started slipping into your DM to message you for your contacts and details , as a sharp guy , we all knew what that means..

He abandoned everything. lol.

Are u kidding?

Which Nigerian will not abandon everything to get Canadian citizenship?

The woman is already being stressed. What the essense of being in a marriage without peace of mind. Just yelling and playing hide-and-seek all day. What's the point?

gypsey:
Incognito is dodgy, if not, why not do things legally?

You see the problem..You have the mind of someone who can do criminial activities thats why you think incognito is dodgy.

Incognito is created so that you browsing history cant be seen by another person who isnt an admin or owner of the property.

FOr example, if you go to a cybercafe, if you use normal browser and perharps you didnt log out before leaving, another customer might have access to your details or access to sites you visited (even after logging out) , and might use it for his own evil motives..

But with incognito, once you log out, your browsing history is cleared, so another person, who might have dubious motives wont have access to your details.

The admin or employer however, can still view with you do since they gave you the internet access.

Incognito is very useful, because if your phone got stolen, criminals wont hve access to your online saved details.

Hope you understand now

Coldie:
This is not true. The guy is just a trying to get extra cash from yahoo

So what about the other women he's messaging?

Kallantan:
Honestly, I don't know what your husband's secret is or what he's hiding from you. But what's clear is that you definitely have a relationship problems. Trust issues, personal problems and so on. It's not surprising, because keeping a good relationship at a distance is always difficult, constantly in your head the question "What if...". I'm sure that's a lot of stress. But I think you should try to have a normal conversation with your husband, talk about all your fears and concerns. Maybe it'll help him open up, maybe not. But it doesn't seem to make your relationship any worse...

@ Tasha7 just read the above very slowly and absorb it. This is one of the best advice so far .

I read your post, but sadly no one here can come to a conclusion because you have no evidence yet.

Roundcube is a webmail application, this is usually tied to a website address. I know this because I'm a Web developer.

The webmail could look like support@trackdotcom ( I don't want to get banned spelling it out) try visiting without the support@ and see what the website is all about.

I believe relationships are built on trust, If you no longer trust him then walk away.. There is no need hurting if it's not working out that's slavery.

I have like 3 gf. I don't lock my phone I don't password my laptop. Even if you are into scam why hiding for your woman

Cut your husband some slack..
Pet him, make him feel like whatever he is doing is normal and you are not alien to it. Then lay it down to him in a humble manner and talk to him. He should be able to confide in you afterall your his wife except... oops you guys aren't close.

excanny:


So what about the other women he's messaging?

D lady said she discovered from the chat that he was chatting with poor language construction, when her husband is very fluent In English, from a mail that's very phoney that she hasn't seen before and it's not popular in America. Chances are very high that whosoever he is chatting with is from either Asia or Europe as these people are trying to do their own thing, like their own Facebook,email etc.

The mans friend that's poorly educated doesn't know how to cash in, and maybe his scamming story line says he is in Canada. That's y he gave him that's in Canada to finish the work.

Reason the man was asking for songs that make women fall in love is part of it, so that whenever he calls d victim on phone, and play the songs in the background the woman would fall into a trance, fall faster and make cashing out faster.

Your husband is a fraudster. Deep down you know it. You are failing to accept the harsh reality based on sentiment and love he shares with your mother. You were used as a ticket for him to leave the country. Such crimes are easily perpetrated for a fraudster living outside Nigeria. Especially those into Romance scam. Those poorly structured grammar could be as a result of a translator's output or him deliberately decentralizing from a speech/word pattern known to him. I'd go for the former, they later is for advanced psychopaths. You need to be careful. because there is a level of knowledge you'd have in his activity that can incriminate you. You could be charged for perjury. Start weighing your options on starting life afresh. Coz from my viewpoint, it doesn't look good! I'm sorry!

excanny:


He abandoned everything. lol.

Are u kidding?

Which Nigerian will not abandon everything to get Canadian citizenship?

many my brother, many will not do that , let me clear you of something , it's far more easier to make it in Nigeria than in Canada ask any sincere immigrants , apart from the good infrastructure and social security and perhaps the niceties here and there which you will definitely pay for directly or indirectly there is nothing to herp about the place , with the right connections and networking Nigeria is far better in terms of hustling

I think u're being unnecessarily paranoid due to some unpleasant stories u must've heard about foreign men & their western wives. I met & married an American some 30yrs ago while a student in Boston. The first 3yrs were full of cultural & mutual trust challenges but we grew through it when we decided to trust oneself first. U're systematically destroying ur marriage cos u don't even trust urself.

Coldie:

D lady said he discovered from the chat that he was chatting with poor language construction, when her husband is very fluent In English, from a mail that's very phoney that she hasn't seen before and it's not popular in America. Chances are very high that whosoever he is chatting with is from either Asia or Europe as these people are trying to do their own thing, like their own Facebook,email etc.

The mans friend that's poorly educated doesn't know how to cash in, and maybe his scamming story line says he is in Canada. That's y he gave him that's in Canada to finish the work.

Reason the man was asking for songs that make women fall in love is part of it, so that whenever he calls d victim on phone, and play the songs in the background the woman would fall into a trance, fall faster and make cashing out faster.

He's trying to scam an Asian woman that speaks bad English?

OK. Goodluck with that.

You have every right to be concerned because his behaviour is dubious and unfortunately consistent with the tribe he comes from,
I would be very careful if I were you; for all you know your entire marriage could even be a hoax, a convenient means for him to get green card/residence permit; while biding his time until he is secured enough to ship in his true love from his village or elsewhere; it would not surprise me also if (as you guessed) he is engaged in 419 scam or other sort of crime - the poor grammar could easily be broken/pidgin English, commonly spoken here in Nigeria.
Tread with care, good luck - some of these ppl are users, without conscience.

Is ur husaband working,if he his no pp,the best thing u have to do,is u give him sleeping medicine in his early morning break fast or evening dinner,den when he go offf,den u will take time to check his phone and his system very well,,dat my own contriburion

Tasha7:
Hello, I am a black woman born and raised in North America and married to an Igbo man. We have been in a long distance relationship for the majority of our relationship. We got married almost 2 years ago while still long distance and he recently immigrated to Canada in Jan 2020 under the spousal sponsorship. He has a wonderful bond with my mother and sisters. (my father has passed). I have met his family and we get along very well.

Everything was going well until I was looking up something in the search history of the laptop we both share and stumbled across emails he had recently accessed. Please note, I could not read the email itself, I could only see the subject lines in the search history. I will attach pictures if possible. It wasn't a normal email account like yahoo or Gmail. It was from a website called: Roundcube webmail. I had never heard of it before. Anyway, there were a bunch of emails forwarded from a hotel in Istanbul where people were being asked to pay their outstanding hotel bill (unfortunately I didn't take a screenshot of the hotel stuff). In addition to that, there were emails to 2 different women (named Wendy and Elizabeth) with the subjects: re: Thank you for written, re: back from customs baby, re: I am so happy our paths have crossed re: I am writing you with much sadness in my heart etc. I will try to attach the screenshots I took.

Lastly, within the same search history, my husband seemed to have been looking up songs like: 'what songs make a woman feel confident about herself' and 'what if I never get over you', and 'songs that make a woman feel beautiful'.

I confronted my husband that same night. It was 2am. He was already sleeping. I woke him up bc I wanted to catch him off guard. His explanation was that his friend in Cyprus had a bad internet connection and asked him (my husband) to look up something in his friends email account. He insisted that he had no idea what his friend was up to, as it was none of his business. In the process of me confronting him, he grabbed the laptop from me and deleted the search history. I told him that was making him look real guilty and I started packing my things to leave. He pleaded and insisted it had nothing to do with him, it was his friends email account blah blah blah. I wanted to believe him but some things just didn't add up...like why was he looking up those songs if he was just checking his friends email for him? His only saving grace was that the subject lines were written with poor grammar and my husband has excellent English speaking and writing skills.

Fast forward a few weeks later, my husband left the bathroom to put out the garbage and accidentally left his phone in the bathroom playing music. This is significant because he has never parted from his phone from the day he arrived. He sleeps with his phone beside him. He showers and uses the bathroom with his phone beside him. When he cooks, he keeps his phone beside him. The day in question, I went into the bathroom and locked the door shortly after he left the bathroom. Side note: I only lock the door bc sometimes he jokingly sneaks up on me to scare me while I am in the shower, so to avoid being snuck up on, I sometimes lock the door. I digress. I commenced using the bathroom when I noticed that hubby left his phone on the side of the bathtub with Nigerian gospel music blasting. I was shocked! It was the first time he was separated from his phone! I didn't touch his phone and started using the bathroom. Within 15 seconds, my husband started knocking on the door saying he really needed to use the bathroom and wanted me to open the door. He was saying he really needed to pee. I asked him to hold a minute, because I was on the toilet. He said he didn't believe me and then things escalated from there. He started pounding really hard on the bathroom door, demanding that I open the door because he really needed to pee. He was eventually pounding so hard and yelling to the point where he started to lose his voice! I was freaked out! I told him to hold on and I would be done in a minute! But he wouldn't listen and eventually broke open the bathroom door by force...there is literally a large crack down the bathroom door now. I was shocked. Beyond words. Once he broke down the door, he quickly did a scan of the bathroom and saw his cellphone was right where he left it. I didn't touch it. Then he was more calm. He then reiterated that he really needed to pee and went into the shower, pulled the curtain and turned on the water.

I started freaking out. I started yelling telling him that he was a liar and if there was any doubt in my mind he was hiding something, I need not doubt it anymore! He broke down the bathroom door NOT because he really nedded to pee, but because he was so terrified I was going to snoop through his phone! Of course he denied it. He was saying that if that was the case, the first thing he would have done is grab his phone. I responded saying that he's not stupid, if he grabbed his phone first, it would have made him look guilty. After that blow up, we stopped talking to each other for days...

And here I am today. If anyone could provide me insight into what is going on, I would be so appreciative. What is this hotel stuff and what are these msgs to multiple women? I am thinking he may be involved in a 419 scam or his friend is a yahoo boy....but why is he using such poor grammar when he speaks and writes excellent English?

I am so stressed over all of this that it is literally consuming my every thought. My husband only denies everything and gets defensive then ignores me if I keep pushing for answers. Outside of this incident he is incredibly loving and affectionate and treats my mother so well. He cares so much about what she thinks of him.

I have turned to this forum with the hopes that someone would have more insight into what is going on. Thank you so much to anyone who has taken the time to read this very long post and respond. I truly appreciate it. Again, I attached photos, but scratched out names just in case.

Thank you,

Tasha

Apologies to everyone for quoting this long post but I just had to, to get the OP's attention.

@OP: You've got every right to be suspicious but as a man, I can tell you for free that any dude that pays so much attention to not hurting you deserves some more love and attention. He clearly loves you and doesn't want to hurt you. He also loves your mum like you mentioned.

Forget the hide and seek you think he's playing, someone who doesn't care about you wouldn't give a s*it....to h*ll with whatever you discover.

Get closer to him, get him to tell you his concerns or fears and communicate more, that way you'd build a lasting relationship.

I wish you both all the best.

Regards.

he is a yahoo guy who isn't confident enough to tell his wife what he does for a living..

TheKingIsHere:


You see the problem..You have the mind of someone who can do criminial activities thats why you think incognito is dodgy.

Incognito is created so that you browsing history cant be seen by another person who isnt an admin or owner of the property.

FOr example, if you go to a cybercafe, if you use normal browser and perharps you didnt log out before leaving, another customer might have access to your details or access to sites you visited (even after logging out) , and might use it for his own evil motives..

But with incognito, once you log out, your browsing history is cleared, so another person, who might have dubious motives wont have access to your details.

The admin or employer however, can still view with you do since they gave you the internet access.

Incognito is very useful, because if your phone got stolen, criminals wont hve access to your online saved details.

Hope you understand now

Yes, i do, that is not the incognito i meant, incognito is also a street term used to describe dodgy things EG buying a phone, car, pefume, shoes, watches or cloths from the streets or a friend (who may have acquired them illegally) on a cheap without having to pay more in the shops.

excanny:


He's trying to scam an Asian woman that speaks bad English?

OK. Goodluck with that.

Read her post again, he discovered that the chat was done in poor English. But her husband is very good in English.

I suspect it to be European. Because if u call an Asian and start playing love songs in the background to turn her on she won't understand what the song is saying. That means yr scheme would fail

Challenges would arise in every marriage or relationship.

We all must work diligently to resolve them.

Please sit down with your husband and pour out your heart to him; he obviously loves you judging by his suspicious attitude.

*My signature might just interest you.

So no white man for you to marry over there. It's an inventless entity you picked as horseband after all the things you have heard about them?

What a major downgrade.

Enjoy what's left of your desperado hooklock.

This was definitely not written by a North American woman, this person definitely has some Nigerian background or deep knowledge of Yahoo Yahoo. No akata uses the term 'yahoo boy". Anyways moving on, there's no safe place for a scammer, once the money from maga dries up, he'll eventually turn you and your friends/family to his maga, best thing you can do is cut your losses. The evidence already shows he can't be trusted, go with your guts and run for your life!

Dreamstarr:
Woman focus on your life and leave your husband alone. No one is perfect. You are not perfect either. If you are tired of the marriage, you can quit honorably without hurting anyone. Because he is from Africa doesn't make him your house boy..... If you want to be happy LEAVE YOUR HUSBAND'S PHONE ALONE AND STOP SNUPPING AROUND LIKE AN AFRICAN MASQUERADE.

I think you are taking things a little bit too far. If you read her write-up properly, it never indicated that she disrespects him or treats him like thrash. This lady just need answers to her man's weird behaviour. Besides, she never touched his phone. They both share a computer. Just chill. I see a good woman here who is in love.