Closed!

She's not your responsibility. Shed her.

Do not fall to the manipulative tendencies of anyone. So long as she's not threatened you, whatever she threatens to do to herself or eventually does is not your responsibility.

You mentioned you are divorced before 27. At what age did you get married? How long did you court the girl you married? How long were you two married? What circumstances led to the divorce? You also mentioned that you lost everything due to the divorce and gained them back, what is it that you do for a living that yields the returns?

I ask these because it is important you problematize the actual problem, i.e., it could be that you are the one who is the problem here and may need to work on yourself by learning to be in a relationship with yourself before bringing other people into your life.

emkz:
She's not your load. Let her be.

Which one? Them both?

Can u pass me the Yoruba one ? She is my spec
That's if she is not chubby

At 27, you are already a divorcee? It is red flag for any responsible lady.. How is it the fault of the Akwa- Ibom girl that's she is not attracted sexually to you after exposing her to her community? The Yoruba girl is emotionally blackmailing you with pallbearers music playing at the background for your funeral.
Ask yourself what you want in a woman because it obvious you don't know. You are not mentally matured for marriage, save yourself the pains of more divorce and wait till you are matured at heart to settle down.

One of your girlfriends..

Shaking my head for you

see this one

So if she eventually commit suicide now, na your soul the will carry in place of her's?

My brother, if I dey your shoe na to drop all of them..

If she decide to kill herself, that's her family problem not mine and as for that ibom girl, my brother no start wetin u no go finish oo

I think ur Yoruba babe is just manipulating u cuz u care about her, and wow u are the money making machine of a girl u aren't married to.................................
Seems lazy, like u said


Wire me something na

[quote author=emkz post=89488377]She's not your responsibility. Shed her.

!

majamajic:

Can u pass me the Yoruba one ? She is my spec
That's if she is not chubby

LOOOOL not at all

Erukaye101:
You are the problem bro, believe me. She discovered your weak point and she have been using it against you.
She discovered each time you guys have issues and she threaten to commit suicide, you will become calm. That's it! She might be serious with it the first day she said it, but the 2nd and 3rd ain't real, she is just manipulating you, Wake up! Also, you got married at under 30 and also divorced at under 30, please there is a problem, stop jumping into relationship, learn and walk into it wisely, like I said "you are the problem here" Anyway, don't let the lockdown prevent you from eating. Bring your business Digital. Get Ecommerce Online Store + Free Domain + SEO Manager for 5k. Check my Signature for contact

I see where you're coming from

Nwodosis:
At 27, you are already a divorcee? It is red flag for any responsible lady.. How is it the fault of the Akwa- Ibom girl that's she is not attracted sexually to you after exposing her to community? The Yoruba girl is emotionally blackmailing you with pallbearers music playing at the background for funeral.
Ask yourself what you want in a woman because it obvious you don't know. You are not mentally matured for marriage, save yourself the pains of more divorce and wait till you are matured at heart to settle down.

I'm the one whose not sexually attracted to her but believe me her body is banging, I think I probably just hit it too much

..

TheEnlightenedO:


This is my intention to be honest but, with the Ibom girl, I always feel sorry for her cuz I honestly want the best for her...

With the Yoruba one, everytime I try bros, even to say I wont call for one night, she would blow up my phone and start with the suicidal bs.

My grandfather told me never to marry any lady out of pity and I followed his advise. It worked for me and I can tell you I ll soon celebrate my 15yrs in marriage. Try it, you might be lucky. As for the Yoruba lady there's one Hausa proverbs that say "kora da hali ta fi kora da sanda" meaning chase that Yoruba lady with bad characters you know she can't stand.

TheEnlightenedO:


I got married at age 22 the first time in 2015, my girlfriend at the time was 4 months pregnant, I had just lost my mum... I didn't want to have my child out of wedlock, as I was born out of wedlock and also for PR status in the US... I was ignorant, young too...
I had known my exwife for about 8 months before marriage...
We practically hated each other by our 1st anniversary, plus we were separated for 2 years first during which she was involved with someone else. We finalized the divorce 2 years ago, but she wants another baby from me, I'm not about to do that again...
By losing everything, I lost my house, my car and custody rights to her, I was young at the time, I had graduated from Uni in Nigeria at 18 before I went for my second degree outside so I was working at a good firm while studying, and I had some financial help from Nigeria before my mum passed

Take a break from relationships and learn more about yourself and evaluate what you want from life and relationships. Some things you must never do:

(1) Marrying out of pity
(2) Marrying because you impregnated someone
(3) Marrying because the girl is from your village
(4) Marrying because she is your father's friend's daughter
(5) Marrying because her parents gave you a job
(6) Falling for cheap blackmail in a relationship

At the end of your evaluation, you'd understand better certain behaviours that you cannot accept and you shall become more principled. One thing my dad taught me is: "never compromise on matters of principles".

I've been a Nairalander for years, since 2008, I never signed up until now because I never had to post anything really, so kindly bear with my narrative...

Traffic puller, this your story no cook well.

Gaggi:

You entered uni at 14 or what? Hope this isn't a fake story? Too many aspiring writers on NL lately.

No mind am. He is cooking story but he forgot to add salt to taste.

You have been married before and have a kid, I will therefore advice you to stay off women for now. You need time to heal and rediscover yourself. Both women are not right for you and one would expect you to be wiser by now.

Don't rush into any romance, focus on work and hang out more with your male friends. With time you'll find a woman whom you can start out as friends where you wouldn't feel pressured to date. If she turns out to be your ideal woman, you can now ask her out.

Your priority now should be not making the same mistake twice. As it is now, both woman are a liability and don't add value to your life.

You're being manipulated bro.(By the Yoruba lady) Like they say, she don get your mumu button. Dump her like hot charcoal cos it won't end well. You mentioned stuff about her blowing up your phone. Guy, yux block her number and move on. As for Ibom, well what can I say, you taking up a responsibility that ain't yours while yo not married yet, hmmmm. What happens when things don't work out. You mentioned that she ain't really matured. I'll advice you to yux take a break from women issues.

TheEnlightenedO:


I had graduated from Uni in Nigeria at 18 before I went for my second degree outside so I was working at a good firm while studying, and I had some financial help from Nigeria before my mum passed

You entered uni at 14 or what? Hope this isn't a fake story? Too many aspiring writers on NL lately.

any time she tell u that she wants to commit suicide eeh

tell her to go ahead

I will advise you to take a little break for now and put your mind off from any of them. sit-down and think if any of them can be useful for you as a mother to a child relationship, if you see any one of them like a mother to you, then go for her.

Relationship is not just I will marry you and bear me child's, relationship has a long way to go, is not just a day journey but a life journey, so you have to think deeply before you choose your life partner. A good relationship must have a good communication, both of you have to see your partner like mother that have to communicate just like a relationship between mother and child.

If you can go for that Ibom girl, if you see she worth what you need in life, it is ur choice don't let anything stop you.

For that Yoruba lady, I will advise you to systematically give her a break, because any lady that treating to commit suicide must be very careful with, because if you marry her one day before she kill herself she might kill you first and then later commit suicide. That lady is desperate and you must avoid her. Also don't let anylady capitalize on your weak point.

For your ex wife, you said you are still in good mood now, may be she has realize her mistake and understand the outer world of marriage. There is one Yoruba proverb that says Esu ti a ti mo tele, o San ju angeli ti a ko ti mo. Meaning a devil we know is better than the new angel we just meet, because whom know maybe the new angel might have a bad behaviour that Even worst than the devil.

I don't know much about divorce, but if the law can still allow you to remarry, you can go ahead because I can still sense a love from you to her.

Before I go remember this is a life partner and you must sentence yourself wisely in choosen your life partner.

To ba kowaju si e ki o pa, toba ko eyin si e ki o pa, sugbon to ba ku Iwo nikan tun ero ara ra pa

Good luck.

At 27, you already have a failed marriage, a Telemundo-esque "ibom" , a Yoruba drama-queen. You are not doing well.

Break up with all of them and focus on your child for now.

I don't even understand what the op is typing

The title of your thread is a giveway of how irresponsible you are. The annoying part is that you feel proud proclaiming to the world that you a shameless Casanova. Since you have a lot of girlfriends, what stops you from discarding the one that comes with a lot problems and making do with others that are docile and tractable. Or are there bebefits you won't disclosed?

Some people go get married when all thier mind set is prepared for is a bangable house help

Op are you not tired of all this drama?, take a deep breath and stay away from relationships for now till you understand yourself.. you're obviously confused.

Gaggi:

You entered uni at 14 or what? Hope this isn't a fake story? Too many aspiring writers on NL lately.

He might be saying the truth, Cos one of my friends sister finished Masters at 19 yrs, buh na private uni she go

Suicidal? Mehn that’s serious. See below sha

It is stories like this that use to pain my brain....

OP! Op!! Op!!! How many times have I called you? Mr Op ask yourself what you want then you know the answer to the question and what to do already.

Please what sort of NGO are you operating so I can come and apply? Cause its obviously that is what you have become to the Ibom gal. The fact that you have the resources now should you become a spendthrift people are looking to consolidate there fortune you turn NGO.... Not your fault sha seems you have mommy issues.

For the Yoruba lady tell your friends to kindly block her number then for you when next she threatens suicide ask her which does she want. The sniper version, 3rd mainland bridge version, phone charging version or trailer version...... Anyone she chooses kindly assist her in achieving her dreams because you have turn to savior of the world.



Instead of you to use your young 27year old brain to be thinking forward its leeches and idiot that you bothered about.... Flush the both of them off your life if not for your self remember you have a child who should not be a victim of stupid people.