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Boko Haram At Cele? - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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Boko Haram At Cele? by ShawnMichael: 2:09pm On May 22, 2020
I never actually planned for what happened. I left my residence at Ejigbo that very morning with only five hundred naira (for those who don’t know, Ejigbo’s in Lagos ). It’s the only island surrounded by bad roads in this part of the world ….No good road, no light, everybody there is quick to anger. I, Mr. Five, have always said it that, whoever that can survive Ejigbo, can survive hell fire …..

Deliverance is done with koboko there, the demons are as stubborn as crazy donkeys. Yet our local govt. chairman regularly wins the best performing chairman awards in Lagos.



The bus I took from Ejigbo needed almost two hours to get to Cele area, because of the usual hold up. When I got down at Cele express, I walked quickly to take another bus going to Mile 2.

But suddenly, I remembered that the conductor of the bus that just brought me from Ejigbo did not give me my balance (change). I looked back at a distance and saw the bus going back to Ejigbo. Quickly, I jumped out of the Mile 2 bus and ran after the Ejigbo bus with all my energy….. Apparently because I jumped out from the Mile 2 bus like a rat that hot water was poured into its hole (that uncollected change was the last money I had), a man dressed in a suit, like a lawyer that specialises in adjournment of rape cases, holding a brief case, saw me running and joined me immediately in the race …. I actually thought he was helping me to get the bus, even though I never told anyone why I was running, but I noticed that he was more forceful in his race than me, like someone running from a lunatic holding matchet. Honestly not every body wearing a suit is normal! Another man saw us running and joined the race, before I could turn back to see what was happening, the whole of Cele was in complete disarray as people were running helter skelter in great panic ; it was like a mad people’s Olympic !



I still didn’t give a damn, because that five hundred was all I had both home and abroad. So I desperately chased after the bus for my change. And the man in suit was also still running after me with all his strength! Unfortunately, the chaos behind me over took me; people behind me were running towards me, those in front of me started running ahead of me without even knowing why they were running. Some people living around that area were running out of the way like goats that sensed dangerously, and instead of running into their houses, some people were running out of their houses….

Vehicles were reversing and driving back to where they come from. I later saw the bus I was chasing, parked at a distance, when I got to the it, all the doors were wide open, nobody was inside. The driver and conductor had vanished and abandoned the m bus.





To my surprise even the LASTMA and the police men that were at Cele when I started running to get my change, suddenly overtook me and were running without looking back. One of the policemen removed his shirt as he ran, he even forgot to remove the beret on his head .Traders hawking things threw away their goods, as they ran. A cripple I use to see at Cele, who was always assisted by a little child to beg for alms, suddenly got up and ran more than the child helping him … It was a great miracle, he took steps of faith …. nothing built by faith like Osundu. One can jump the widest gutter without knowing! All I was hearing behind me was, “fire fire, fire. ”

When I saw a fat woman shouting “fire, fire !”I asked her, “madam did you say fire? Where ? where? madam tell me na!”

The woman shouted, “common leave the road if you don’t like your life. Must you see the fire first before you run? This is Lagos o!! Boko Haram don come Cele o!!”

As I heard “fire!fire!” I doubled my efforts. (After all a living private is better than a dead general).



I saw a man park his car and run on foot. As he was running, I thought his tummy would fall down, because it was big (I believe his flat buttocks was running differently while his large tummy was running differently (the consequences of excessive Gulder and nkwobi)! He was shouting on his phone in Igbo language, “Mama Nkechi, Mama Nkechi, are you hearing me? Gather the children, there is fire at Cele, it seems Ndi Boko have landed in town o! Pack the things you can carry; stop asking me questions. What do you mean if I saw them? Something that is happening in my presence, many have died in my presence! I am coming.”

At that moment I saw ........
.
CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW TO CONTINUE READING.
.
https://coolstories22.com/boko-haram-at-cele/
.

1 Like

Re: Boko Haram At Cele? by ShawnMichael: 6:15am On May 30, 2020
lol

1 Like

Re: Boko Haram At Cele? by DataDash: 7:07am On May 30, 2020
Nice one I laughed and cried

1 Like

Re: Boko Haram At Cele? by CoolStories22: 7:55pm On Jun 07, 2020
this is funny PS read
Re: Boko Haram At Cele? by ShawnMichael: 4:03am On Jun 19, 2020
have you read
Re: Boko Haram At Cele? by ShawnMichael: 10:03pm On Jun 29, 2020
lol
Re: Boko Haram At Cele? by ShawnMichael: 9:27am On Jul 11, 2020
thanks
Re: Boko Haram At Cele? by CoolStories22: 1:44pm On Jul 29, 2020
thanks
Re: Boko Haram At Cele? by Michaelcas(m): 7:42pm On Jul 29, 2020
ShawnMichael:

I never actually planned for what happened. I left my residence at Ejigbo that very morning with only five hundred naira (for those who don’t know, Ejigbo’s in Lagos ). It’s the only island surrounded by bad roads in this part of the world ….No good road, no light, everybody there is quick to anger. I, Mr. Five, have always said it that, whoever that can survive Ejigbo, can survive hell fire …..

Deliverance is done with koboko there, the demons are as stubborn as crazy donkeys. Yet our local govt. chairman regularly wins the best performing chairman awards in Lagos.



The bus I took from Ejigbo needed almost two hours to get to Cele area, because of the usual hold up. When I got down at Cele express, I walked quickly to take another bus going to Mile 2.

But suddenly, I remembered that the conductor of the bus that just brought me from Ejigbo did not give me my balance (change). I looked back at a distance and saw the bus going back to Ejigbo. Quickly, I jumped out of the Mile 2 bus and ran after the Ejigbo bus with all my energy….. Apparently because I jumped out from the Mile 2 bus like a rat that hot water was poured into its hole (that uncollected change was the last money I had), a man dressed in a suit, like a lawyer that specialises in adjournment of rape cases, holding a brief case, saw me running and joined me immediately in the race …. I actually thought he was helping me to get the bus, even though I never told anyone why I was running, but I noticed that he was more forceful in his race than me, like someone running from a lunatic holding matchet. Honestly not every body wearing a suit is normal! Another man saw us running and joined the race, before I could turn back to see what was happening, the whole of Cele was in complete disarray as people were running helter skelter in great panic ; it was like a mad people’s Olympic !



I still didn’t give a damn, because that five hundred was all I had both home and abroad. So I desperately chased after the bus for my change. And the man in suit was also still running after me with all his strength! Unfortunately, the chaos behind me over took me; people behind me were running towards me, those in front of me started running ahead of me without even knowing why they were running. Some people living around that area were running out of the way like goats that sensed dangerously, and instead of running into their houses, some people were running out of their houses….

Vehicles were reversing and driving back to where they come from. I later saw the bus I was chasing, parked at a distance, when I got to the it, all the doors were wide open, nobody was inside. The driver and conductor had vanished and abandoned the m bus.





To my surprise even the LASTMA and the police men that were at Cele when I started running to get my change, suddenly overtook me and were running without looking back. One of the policemen removed his shirt as he ran, he even forgot to remove the beret on his head .Traders hawking things threw away their goods, as they ran. A cripple I use to see at Cele, who was always assisted by a little child to beg for alms, suddenly got up and ran more than the child helping him … It was a great miracle, he took steps of faith …. nothing built by faith like Osundu. One can jump the widest gutter without knowing! All I was hearing behind me was, “fire fire, fire. ”

When I saw a fat woman shouting “fire, fire !”I asked her, “madam did you say fire? Where ? where? madam tell me na!”

The woman shouted, “common leave the road if you don’t like your life. Must you see the fire first before you run? This is Lagos o!! Boko Haram don come Cele o!!”

As I heard “fire!fire!” I doubled my efforts. (After all a living private is better than a dead general).



I saw a man park his car and run on foot. As he was running, I thought his tummy would fall down, because it was big (I believe his flat buttocks was running differently while his large tummy was running differently (the consequences of excessive Gulder and nkwobi)! He was shouting on his phone in Igbo language, “Mama Nkechi, Mama Nkechi, are you hearing me? Gather the children, there is fire at Cele, it seems Ndi Boko have landed in town o! Pack the things you can carry; stop asking me questions. What do you mean if I saw them? Something that is happening in my presence, many have died in my presence! I am coming.”

At that moment I saw ........
.
CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW TO CONTINUE READING.
.
https://coolstories22.com/boko-haram-at-cele/
.
damnnnn, I'm crying already ����
Re: Boko Haram At Cele? by ShawnMichael: 8:51am On Aug 09, 2020
woww
Re: Boko Haram At Cele? by ShawnMichael: 9:41am On Aug 21, 2020
thanks again
Re: Boko Haram At Cele? by ShawnMichael: 6:09pm On Sep 17, 2020
this is nice
Re: Boko Haram At Cele? by ShawnMichael: 5:00pm On Oct 01, 2020
lol
Re: Boko Haram At Cele? by ShawnMichael: 1:11pm On Oct 17, 2020
sweet

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