A lawyer married a woman who had previously
divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband,
"Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative, he
kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services, he was never
really sure how it was supposed to function, but he
said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services, he said
everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the
system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing, even though he knew he had
the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer, he understood the basic process
but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new
state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration, he thought he
knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing, although he had a nice product, he
was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist, all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist, all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector, all he ever did was, God! I
miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
Additional Jokes

THE SHOP THAT SELLS EVERYTHING
Paddy was walking through a town one day when he
say a shop with a notice in the window. The notice
said "We sell everything". Paddy could not believe
this so he went inside. He walked to the counter and
asked the salesperson, "Do you really sell
everything?" The salesperson said "Yes, everything".
Thinking this was too good to be true Paddy said "OK
then could I have a jumper for a chicken?". The
salesperson said "A jumper for a chicken?, hold on I
will have to check the stock out the back". Five
minutes later, the salesperson returned with a
brown paper bag. "Here you go, one jumper for a
chicken"
"How much?" asked Paddy.
"Three quid." replied the salesperson.
"Three quid for a jumper for a chicken - excellent." said Paddy. So
away he went as happy as larry. When he got outside he thought
to himself that maybe he was done, so he looked inside the bag.
At the bottom of the bag was a condom.
He was mad and stormed back into the shop. He screamed at the
saleperson "Hey, I asked you for a jumper for a chicken and you
have given me a condom - whats going on?"
The salesperson replied, "Sorry mate, I checked in the back and
we seem to be all out of jumpers for chickens, all we had was a
pullover for a cock."

NAME THAT FLAVOUR
A professer from the Washington State University
was doing a test on children, so he brought in a
bunch of first graders then he gave each of them a
lifesaver all the kids got the same colour at the same
time.
Red=Cherry
Green=Lime
Orange=Orange
Yellow=Lemon
Then he gave them all a honey flavored one after a
while all the children couldn't figure it out so the
professer gives them a hint "This is something your mommy might call your daddie"
Then one little girl looked at the professer and the
other children in horror then she yells "Spit them out
. . . .they are assholes"

waxed,recycled and stale,

and u open ur mouth and spill rubish,

try harder,u will get better

that was mean
@boss ttdiamonds
kudos i enjoyed ur jokes

kudos i enjoyed your jokes

gud sense of humour, ur type will tell him to go to hell,and he will look forward to the trip

just the way i told u and indeed u looked forward to the trip.

of wat benefit is it to u, 2 cause odas their joy huh