perfectionism is a personality trait characterized by “a person’s striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high performance standards, accompanied by overly critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others’ evaluations.”

Perfectionism is now a threat to relationships and marriages nowadays where couples refuses to accept his/her partners standards.

Here are some tips to help you set boundaries and reduce conflict related to perfectionism:


1. Identify the problem

We can’t fix a problem if we don’t know what it is. If this article resonates with you, chances are that perfectionism is affecting your relationship. If you suspect that your partner is struggling with perfectionism, bring it up in a kind and compassionate manner. The more you know about the issue at hand, the easier it will be to figure out the next step.

2. Consider individual and/or marital counseling

The perfectionist in the relationship will need to learn coping strategies to manage their anxiety and to increase their self-confidence. Working with a licensed professional who specializes in anxiety is invaluable in improving the challenges that are present. Marital counseling is often a good idea if both partners are unsure about how to change the previous dynamic in their relationship that the perfectionism caused. An outside, professional perspective is very helpful and often necessary to make sure that both partners can meet each other’s needs.

3. Communication is key

As in all aspects of marriage, honest and clear communication can be the difference between a strong marriage or a struggling one. As difficult as it may be to open up about the effects of perfectionism, it is important that both partners feel that they can be heard and validated. Communication can build understanding, compassion and respect between partners. Make sure to schedule time for regular communication. Having a weekly “appointment” to talk after the kids go to bed can ensure that a hectic schedule doesn’t stand in the way of good communication.





4. Know your boundaries

For the partner that is married to a perfectionist, it is important for you to hold on your beliefs and standards without being negatively affected by your partner. You may need individual counseling to learn this skill. When your partner is critical or wants to take over a task because their anxiety is overwhelming, gently remind them of where their anxiety ends and your beliefs begin. Compromise is a wonderful tool in marriage, but sticking to your guns can be as well.

Working through perfectionism in a marriage is undoubtedly hard work. I believe that when both partners are determined to make a relationship work, they can emerge from their challenges with a stronger, healthier and less perfect marriage than they ever could have expected.

READ MORE @ https://www.profkay.com.ng/2020/07/11/perfect-way-to-deal-with-disaster-of-perfectionism-in-a-relationship/