"You better keep your legs wide open or I
strangle the life out of you" He said in a
thunderous yet more scary voice.
I kept begging but my plea definitely fell
on deaf ears. He had his full weight on
me, I was suffocating but my heart felt
much more pain than my body could ever
feel. I struggled as usual until my
strength deserted me and my legs could
no longer move. He went on and on
swinging against my fragile skin,
moaning so loud that I wished I could go
deaf. When he finally had his fill, he let
out a deep breath and stood up. My
eyes went straight to his protruded
stomach and I felt more disgusted than ever. " Get up you LovePeddler and get
yourself cleaned up before your mum
returns". I hesitated but the look on his
face spoke loud enough for me to know I
dare not disobey. Ever felt like dying yet
scared to die? That was how I felt.
Soaked in tears while I reminded my self
of my worthlessness,I looked at my
reflection with so much disdain. How can
a person have such a fate? With lots of
rhetorical questions popping up in my
mind, I wiped my tears and walked into
the bathroom for a warm bath stood
under the shower for what I can describe
as forever.
Tossing my body on my bed, I tried
sleeping away my sorrow but my misery came flashing. The scenes of my ordeal
with uncle Tolu kept playing in my head,
Oh! Poor child, I was just (11) eleven clothed with
innocence and beauty, Full of life and
dreams. Just like the sun I was rising
from the East, heading to the west then
came the eclipse, darkness emerged,
covering the sun and it seems the moon
is winning the battle. I want to share with
you, perhaps my heart will find peace
and tranquility in thy words. I hunger and thirst for a shoulder to lean on, my heart is so filled up that I feel it's going to explode. My body lung for a hug so maybe you can choose to be human and help me quench this thirst.
Uncle Tolu is my mum's younger brother who returned home from Sokoto after his NYSC. He was very sweet that I thought of him as the father which I never had. Every night, after grandma must have gone to bed I stay up with him listening to both his interesting and uninteresting bedtime stories. We grew so close and became inseparable little did I know that I was dining with the devil himself. On the night of my 11th birthday, I went to uncle Tolu's room for the special stories he promised me as my birthday package since there was no celebration of any sort and even my mum didn't call to wish me a happy birthday. He told me stories about the animal kingdom and all its beauty and I slept off while listening to him. I have slept off in his room several times but that very night was different as it flipped my life to another chapter. While asleep, I felt a continuous pain in my private part which increased gradually until it became unbearable and I screamed from my sleep just to behold a sight that left me dumbfounded. I saw my very own fairy godfather forcing his fingers into my vagina. I asked him to stop but he shut me up, I cried out in pain and he covered my mouth with his hands. I looked at his face and what I saw was a monster. I could bet on my life that it wasn't the same man I spent every day adoring. He forced me to hold his penis and at some point, he started shaking, and I saw what I thought was milk come out of his penis. While cleaning up, he warned me of what will befall me if anyone should learn about what happened and I giggled with fear. He took me to my room, I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night, my head ached badly and I was running temperature coupled with cramps. Grandma got me malaria drugs and I stayed in bed for several days. Each night, uncle Tolu will come to my room to carry out his evil act and on the 4th day, he forced his penis into my vagina and that continued till he got a job and left for Abuja but it didn't end, other relatives who visited the house continued from where he stopped.
By the time I was 14, I became a food
for public consumption. Just like Agege
bread, you cut the quantity you want and leave the rest for the next customer.
Grandma had left for midweek service,
leaving me with cousin Bode and
Demola in what seems to be a cool
evening. I was resting in my room,
reading my then-favorite novel "oil at my
backyard" I was preparing for my junior
WAEC. Tolu and Demola walked into the
room, the look on their faces was
strange hence, I doubted the sincerity of
their smiles. Minutes later, Demola
raised a sexual topic and I was quite
uncomfortable with it. they laughed while
chattering and I buried my head in the
book pretending to be concentrating. In
the bid to get my attention, he asked if I
have seen a dick and offered his for experiment "we are not in a chemistry lab
brother Demola" I retorted. And that
forced the devil out of them. And that how I was gang-raped and brutalized. I
tried telling grandma when she arrived
but she called me an evil child who
wanted to drag her family name to the
mud. They painted me black, made me
the offender while the perpetrators were
seen as the victims.
Hey, my name is Kemi, I am a seed of an
irresponsible sperm donor who left a
pregnant lover behind and disappeared
into thin air. My "mum" fell pregnant while
she was a student in the college of
nursing. By the rules, she got expelled
because of the pregnancy. According to her, I destroyed her dreams and
shattered her visions therefore, I don't
deserve any better. I lived paying my
father's debt. My life is a well-scripted horror movie "I bet you don't wanna
watch". I'm an abused child, a victim of
domestic violence, molestation, and rape.
A child with no future, no dreams oh!
Except to die. I was told I wasn't lovable.
I called on death earnestly, wrote several
suicide notes for my imaginary friend
because I knew death was my only
escape route from this world of misery " I
hope it ends soon". I was told there exist
a God who sits up there watching us all.
I've heard a lot of preachers preach
about his love for humanity and I wondered why he hates me so much to
let me go through all this. I've been
raped numerous times that I lost count.
Sometimes, I lose my mind thinking
about it. Grandma said I was lying
against her son's and grandsons so she
sent me to go live with my "mum" who
was married. Ahhh! That flipped my life to
another page.
My mum is an event planner so she had
to stay out most times leaving me to stay
with her husband "my stepdad". It
started with a supposed " mistake" as he
claimed to be drunk then it turned into a
ritual. In his words,
" he thought I was a
child, he never knew I was old in the
business". My mum hates me enough, I don't want to create more problems. She
forewarned me of the consequences of
trying to cause problems in her home. Of
all things, I don't t want to be a destitute. I
swallowed, I endured. Wallowing in pain
and anguish, wishing I never existed and just like always, tonight I am soaked in my own tears, my feet were week. The pain in my heart overpowered my will to live. I walked out of the room, straight to the store in search of what I wasn't even sure of. Pacing around, I saw a bottle of insecticide, I don't really understand why
but the mere sight of it Increased my
heartbeat. I picked it up, I could hear my
soul call for rest and I really wanted to
give it. I fell on the floor, bowed my head
in shame and disappointment. I opened the bottle, holding on to it tightly I felt the
urge to cry a river at least for the very
last time. I cried and cried gnashing my
teeth in anguish while taking a last glance on all the pages of my life one after the other.

I could hear my name from my sleep, I
opened my eyes and found myself on the
store floor with a bottle of sniper in my
hands. I looked up and wow!! It was 6:15
am. Apparently, I've slept off while
crying and spilled the content on the
floor. Magically, I felt a bit relieved and it
seems life gave me another chance.
Maybe my morning is by the corner.

Much pity for the poor girl. Ride on boss