Sirjames001:
. Even though I don't believe in it, I still can't change anything

Yes you can. I did it ! I am a Nigerian myself and there are cultures and traditions associated with where I am from but mentally and physically, I have abandoned all that to those who care for them.
It is up to you to decide for yourself what defines you as a person, and that is a life-long exercise. That you were born in a state does not mean your mental ideals and world ought to be defined by it.

Kobojunkie:
Yes you can. I did it ! I am a Nigerian myself and there are cultures and traditions associated with where I am from but mentally and physically, I have abandoned all that to those who care for them.
It is up to you to decide for yourself what defines you as a person, and that is a life-long exercise. That you were born in a state does not mean your mental ideals and world ought to be defined by it.

. Yeah we have to evolve. My major concerns is how to wife her.

Kobojunkie:
Yes you can. I did it ! I am a Nigerian myself and there are cultures and traditions associated with where I am from but mentally and physically, I have abandoned all that to those who care for them.
It is up to you to decide for yourself what defines you as a person, and that is a life-long exercise. That you were born in a state does not mean your mental ideals and world ought to be defined by it.

You don't understand, there are things you as an individual can't do anything.

Sirjames001:
You don't understand, there are things you as an individual can't do anything.

I understand more than you know. There is NOTHING on this planet that you as an individual cannot do something about, if really and truly you want to do it. I am not talking faith here at all. I am speaking from experience here.

Sirjames001:
. Yeah we have to evolve. My major concerns is how to wife her.

You want to 'wife her' without dealing with that which concerns her?

Kobojunkie:
You want to 'wife her' without dealing with that which concerns her?

. So should I fellow her to take oath or what do you want me to do?

Sirjames001:
. So should I fellow her to take oath or what do you want me to do?

Well, you already believe in your mind that your blood is somehow tied to the tradition that is your state of origin. So, she is right in demanding an equal blood oath with her.

Kobojunkie:
Well, you already believe in your mind that your blood is somehow tied to the tradition that is your state of origin. So, she is right in demanding an equal blood oath with her.

. You don't get do you? Either you believe in it or not, if your wife should cheat on her marriage, calamity will befall that family.

Sirjames001:
. You don't get do you? Either you believe in it or not, if your wife should cheat on her marriage, calamity will befall that family.

Well, it does not matter, since your wife-to-be has found a way of balancing the traditional equation for the both of you. So, what is it going to be? Take a blood oath with her or lose her? You decide!
I personally hope she does not go back on her stand.

Kobojunkie:
Well, it does not matter, since your wife-to-be has found a way of balancing the traditional equation for the both of you. So, what is it going to be? Take a blood oath with her or lose her? You decide!
I personally hope she does not go back on her stand.

. I came online for mature advice but you are boxing me

Life is tough already! I'm not looking for ways to make it more difficult. I don't worry myself if my partner cheats, or not, on my own I will remain faithful, that's all I need. I don't have the energy to be policing anybody. Op oath/tradition is too small. get 2 padlocks: padlock her private part, and keep the key; while she padlock yours and keep the key. That way both of you can feel secure.

Sirjames001:
. I came online for mature advice but you are boxing me

Boxing you? I have simply told you what has always been in front of you all this while. She wants equality in her relationship. You claim you want that too... so what do you have a problem with?

usj:
Life is tough already! I'm not looking for ways to make it more difficult. I don't worry myself if my partner cheats, or not, on my own I will remain faithful, that's all I need. I don't have the energy to be policing anybody. Op oath/tradition is too small. get 2 padlocks: padlock her private part, and keep the key; while she padlock yours and keep the key. That way both of you can feel secure.

Did you read the OP's statement? That is what his gal says they should both do, but Sirjames001 seems to be having a hard time with that.

Kobojunkie:
Boxing you? I have simply told you what has always been in front of you all this while. She wants equality in her relationship. You claim you want that too... so what do you have a problem with?

. Going to the way of oath taking, can she just trust me?

Sirjames001:
. Going to the way of oath taking, can she just trust me?

Trust is a word that has been used and abused by human beings, so it really means nothing as far as humans are concerned. Humans, by default, are not built to be trusted by definition, that is what makes us humans.
You have a safe-guard of your own, an age-old tradition which you refuse to disavow, even though you claim not to believe in it, why not give her hers?

Kobojunkie:
Trust is a word that has been used and abused by human beings, so it really means nothing as far as humans are concerned. Humans, by default, are not built to be trusted by definition, that is what makes us humans.
You have a safe-guard of your own, an age-old tradition which you refuse to disavow, even though you claim not to believe in it, why not give her hers?

. I give thought of your suggestion.

Sirjames001:
. I give thought of your suggestion.

Remember, it is not my suggestion. It is your woman's - I simply stand with her on this.

Sirjames001:
Please I need advice and also bashing because I want to make a decision of a lifetime.
I am in love with a girl who adore me in every sense of words
She is working while am still in school.So basically it's just true love.
Yesterday we had a conversation,I told her we have an age long tradition in my place ( Akwa Ibom State) If you cheat in your husband house, either you die, or your husband die or your kids.
She wasn't comfortable with it at all.
Her reason is because it only affects women not men.
Should we continue in this relationship or go our separate ways?
She suggested blood covenant that will also kill me if I also cheat.
Please I need advice.
Please note: I don't believe in anything diabolic or some tradition that regards women as slave but I know marriage unfaithfulness has consequence in my place.

Listen OP, you have to be wise. I wonder why no one has told you the uncomfortable truth yet.

First, if your woman can put a condition on her faithfulness as a wife on your own faithfulness, then there's a problem. And if she's not telling you that such age long tradition doesn't bother her because she's firmly of the belief that for a married woman to spread her legs for another man is sacrilegious, then you have yourself a potential adultress.

That age long tradition wasn't instituted by man. Both sides of the spiritual divide hold a woman's chastity in very high regard because from her bowels springs life.

Kobojunkie:
Did you read the OP's statement? That is what his gal says they should both do, but Sirjames001 seems to be having a hard time with that.

That's okay, I just read a few lines.

frozen70:


In the olden days, men made somany traditions to put women under their control and dictates, which made married women to be under their authorities

Men knows that they will always cheat and don't want any man to cheat on their wives, simply because they don't trust their fellow men

Now, all those things are fading away.

Children of this generation are born and raised outside their village culture and traditions and doesn't understand why all those silly traditions on women should hold in the first place

Men on the other side are not really faithful to the traditions their fore fathers set because it comes with some rules and they are not really ready to keep the rules

So it's a two way action

We really learn everyday.
Thanks

The two of you are unserious

Sirjames001:
Please I need advice and also bashing because I want to make a decision of a lifetime.
I am in love with a girl who adore me in every sense of words
She is working while am still in school.So basically it's just true love.
Yesterday we had a conversation,I told her we have an age long tradition in my place ( Akwa Ibom State) If you cheat in your husband house, either you die, or your husband die or your kids.
She wasn't comfortable with it at all.
Her reason is because it only affects women not men.
Should we continue in this relationship or go our separate ways?
She suggested blood covenant that will also kill me if I also cheat.
Please I need advice.
Please note: I don't believe in anything diabolic or some tradition that regards women as slave but I know marriage unfaithfulness has consequence in my place.

Both of you should just do the blood covenant that could kill either of you if you cheat.
The old Tradition might not work. Its old already.so there is always a Loophole.

StacyO:


We really learn everyday.
Thanks

Thanks too

Na this kain thing people dey drag in 2020! God airpus o!!

OP what is your main concern?

cococandy:
OP what is your main concern?

. If I take oath with her, but I am not financially ok to be with her, what happened next?

Ishilove:
The two of you are unserious

. We are dead serious

Sirjames001:
. If I take oath with her, but I am not financially ok to be with her, what happened next?

Like if you guys get married and then you don’t have money anymore?

Will you divorce her because you don’t have money or you think she’ll leave you because you don’t have money?

Either way, I was under the assumption that the oath is supposed to be about you being faithful to her after marriage like she’ll be to you based on your tradition.

Let’s assume that such oaths do work. You having money or not isn’t supposed to affect anything unless the lack of money is going to make you cheat on her maybe with a richer woman.

If she’s suggesting a blood covenant that requires you to be with her forever in addition to not cheating on her then she’s asking for more than your tradition is demanding from her.

But on a serious note, if you guys really love each other, could please kindly disabuse your minds of these petty superstitions that rob you of your happiness? And you can just be happy together instead of believing that some unseen diabolical things have power over you?

I hope that doesn’t sound like I’m not respecting your beliefs but it’s coming from a place of kindness. There’s so much unnecessary worry and anxiety you can do away with if you let go of these restrictive superstitions.

. quote author=cococandy post=92293874]

Like if you guys get married and then you don’t have money anymore?

Will you divorce her because you don’t have money or you think she’ll leave you because you don’t have money?

Either way, I was under the assumption that the oath is supposed to be about you being faithful to her after marriage like she’ll be to you based on your tradition.

Let’s assume that such oaths do work. You having money or not isn’t supposed to affect anything unless the lack of money is going to make you cheat on her maybe with a richer woman.

If she’s suggesting a blood covenant that requires you to be with her forever in addition to not cheating on her then she’s asking for more than your tradition is demanding from her.

But on a serious note, if you guys really love each other, could please kindly disabuse your minds of these petty superstitions that rob you of your happiness? And you can just be happy together instead of believing that some unseen diabolical things have power over you?

I hope that doesn’t sound like I’m not respecting your beliefs but it’s coming from a place of kindness. There’s so much unnecessary worry and anxiety you can do away with if you let go of these restrictive superstitions. [/quote]. Thanks for your contribution. We discussed about it and I believe it won't be a problem. Right now thinking of a biz that is profitable so I can meet up with life.

Sirjames001:
. quote author=cococandy post=92293874]

. Thanks for your contribution. We discussed about it and I believe it won't be a problem. Right now thinking of a biz that is profitable so I can meet up with life.

Good luck.
It’s high priority