The joy of every family is to have children of their own. There's that feeling you get when you look at a cute little child while they are smiling or playing away in the open fields.

Most times, children may not know when they are overstepping their boundaries or what is good or bad. Even when they are having fun, as a parent or guardian you'll want that child of yours to be well behaved and be a good individual in the society where they belong. But most times, we tend to not know or forget when we are maltreating a child and when we are carrying out an act of discipline.

Recently, there has been a trending video online about a little boy negotiating with his mother who was planning to cane him not to do so.


There as been questions whether it's child abuse or just simply discipline. To better understand and know the difference, we need to define what is child abuse or maltreatment and what is child discipline.




According to Wikipedia, child abuse or maltreatment is physical, sexual and/or psychological maltreatment or neglect of a child or children, especially by a parent or a caregiver. It may include any act or failure to act by a parent or caregiver that results in actual or potential harm to a child, and can occur in a child's home, or in the organizations, schools or communities he or she interacts with. On its categories, we have that it is grouped into physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional (or psychological) abuse and neglect but we'll majorly discuss on physical abuse. Physical abuse involves the deliberate use of physical force on a child that can lead to harm in a child's health or development.



Child discipline on the other hand, can be said to be the methods used and actions carried out to prevent future behavioural problems in children.


It is the training of a child to know that which is wrong, and that which is right, he is advised to follow it. On the topic of discipline, we can say that it most times it all comes down to society and culture. Taking for example in Africa, where it's common to see a child being caned as a disciplinary action, it is believed that when the child faces the temptation to commit a wrong act again, he will remember the pain he passed through the other time and will refuse to give in to that temptation. Meanwhile, in the western world, such disciplinary action is seen as a form of physical abuse and can lead to the parent arrest and/or losing custody of the child.

There has been reports and stories of children passing through horrific things ranging from being poured hot water to putting their hands into fire or incisions being made on their body and pepper added to it. Parents that perform such acts mostly the religious ones feel like they are carrying out a form of 'pseudo-exorcism', to cast out the demon of whatever they believe is possessing the child. They may want to give examples of fellow parents that carried out similar or related acts on their own children and how it started yielding positive results for them but they forget the fact that every child is different and that it worked for Peter doesn't mean it will work for Paul.

The big question been asked is when is it discipline and when is it purely maltreatment? I'll say it points to how it affects the child mentally and emotionally.

The litmus test is to ask these questions; Does it affect the child self-esteem? Was it carried out with anger or with love? Did it in anyway, physically harm the child that could possibly lead to a lifetime scar? Did it instill unnecessary fear in the child? Answering this questions can give a clear understanding of the difference. There's no proven research that says that manhandling a child can lead to him or her performing well. It may look like they are obedient and law-abiding, but it's actually fear that is dominating them. Most bad eggs of the society at one point in their childhood must have faced maltreatment too.

In conclusion, we can't say that there is a very tiny line demarcating abuse and discipline but instead, that it all depends on how well informed a parent is on when they are carrying out discipline and when it's maltreatment. There being no universal manual on discipline and parenting or a one-fits-all method to train a child doesn't stop you from trying to understand the child and knowing the best method to use to put him or her in the right path. Proper enlightenment is necessary and also reporting any parent you think is maltreating their child to the necessary authorities. Also on government part, they should create agencies that will create awareness of child abuse, charge offenders that are caught and also carrying out actions which may include taking away the child or children involved from their custody and putting them in caring foster homes. Remember, children are the leaders of tomorrow and brooding them to be that, we need to CALM DOWN and discipline them with love when they fault whether it's your own child or one put under your care or guidance.