Hello... Am writing this with the expectation, that someone will be able to tell me what is wrong with me... because I can't explain how am living this kinda life.... This is how my story goes.......


Starting for the very first day I came into this world.. I have never experienced what is called *FATHERLY LOVE"... But I was not concerned about that.. I just had this mind set that "what if my father is dead won't I live" so I kept on living my life with my mom... While my dad kept on Living his wayward life by sleeping with numerous women... But the most annoying part is that... The women he is sleeping with are old women the youngest among them should be maybe 40yrs old.. since my pry sch my mom has been doing everything.. now am in the university... My 2nd year...and it kinda hard for my mum to pay.. I told my dad about it... He just pretended has if I was speaking "gibberish".... it's not that my dad is jobless ooo.. he is a 2star custom officer... sometimes i wonder if he is really my father... what am experiencing is huge and heavy for my heart...
1)I have a very low self-esteem.( I feel am worthless when am around people)...
2)at 23yrs old I was diagnosed with high BP. Because I always think of ways of making life for my mum and I better
3) people just hate me even without getting to know me
4) Things/businesses that people do that brings profits for them.. if I try it nothing will come out of it..
5)Due to the fact that nobody with to have anything to do with me (both genders, most especially the females...) I got engaged with a very dity habit ( masturbation) I have tried over the years to overcome this evil habit.. but just can't..
6) most times I just see myself has a total failure.. am not academically sound... No matter how hard I try...

Most times I just wish to end it...
Because when the world is against me I just felt what is the point of living... But when ever I have those thoughts I always remember my mom.. that I will be doing her a bad thing if I just end it like that..

I feel like am cursed... For the pass 6yrs now I have never had a day pass without me thinking.. "why do people hate me ... Why do my dad hate me... Why is my mum and I suffering.... God why do you hate me.." pls am I cursed... How can I get help... I don't want to dropout from school..

nice try ..which schl are u and department

Everything happening to u is in your mind

,......

Vyzz:
Everything happening to u is in your mind

...

How

Shifi1:
nice try ..which schl are u and department

why do u want to know..