My father was a fisherman but I am now a drunken fishers of men.
My other middle name is Omoboriowo and my mother is Nupe while my babysitter was fulani born in Kafanchan.

You can see I am a proper god Lugard annoited Nigerian.

I just confirmed that I am the husband of my wife. My wife, Patience, has the best voice in the world and she speaks English Language more effectively than the Queen of England, this is the reason I allow her to speak during my campaign jamborees.

We have been informed that some rascals are sabotaging our reforms on nairaland, let them be warned they will be bombed,they will be nuked!,

I no where pant go school for 2 yrs

ASL33:

I no where pant go school for 2 yrs

CANT STOP LOL.

''Ibori deserves a second chance.''



''Alao Akala and Gbenga Daniel deserve National awards''



''I am committed to providing enough kerosene for the nation.''



''The shoe industry is too sophisticated, too important, too critical in our national development to be left in the hands of local shoe makers. . . . . I Odechukwu Jonathan, never used to wear a shoe. . . . . ''

Crab shit

saraki snr is like a second father to me

bukola saraki is like a senior brother to me. i always called him for advice when i was vp

Since the naked picture of Gbemi Saraki being circulated about is fake, I 'd advise her to release the original picture so that the electorates can judge for themselves which picture they prefer to wa-nk on.

My full names are Goodluck Ebele Azikiwe Awolowo Belewa Jonathan

jabbok:

My full names are Goodluck Ebele Azikiwe Awolowo Belewa Jonathan

My full names are actually Goodluck Ebele Azikiwe Awolowo Belewa Jonathan-Babangida Jnr

Pataki:

''Ibori deserves a second chance.''



''Alao Akala and Gbenga Daniel deserve National awards''



''I am committed to providing enough kerosene for the nation.''



''The shoe industry is too sophisticated, too important, too critical in our national development to be left in the hands of local shoe makers. . . . . I Odechukwu Jonathan, never used to wear a shoe. . . . . ''

So funny [s]and it really shouldn't be cos this is the man very likely to rule this country for the nxt 4yrs[/s]  especially the Bolded.

There was bomb in Jos they said is Boko haram, I personally know the people responsible, they do not want me to win the election that is why they are destabilizing the country.

The government of this country is not doing anything, look at the situation in NigerDelta, Jos and Maidguri.

Obasanjo told me not to contest in the beginning but he didnt want Atiku to rule this country so he concluded that i should contest

If not for the death of my late boss Yaradua, we would have met our 7 point agenda and by now we would be on the 8th one which is to radicalize the rascals of the south west.

"The first republic were our glorious years, I salute the courage of the military in those difficult times, "

"Our economy needs to be diversified. Our dependence on oil may backfire in the future, thats why we are looking for oil reserves up north, "

fstranger3:

My full names are actually Goodluck Ebele Azikiwe Awolowo Belewa Jonathan-Babangida Jnr

fstranger3:

Since the unclothed picture of Gbemi Saraki being circulated about is fake, I 'd advise her to release the original picture so that the electorates can judge for themselves which picture they prefer to wa-nk on.

desgiezd:

I just confirmed that I am the husband of my wife. My wife, Patience, has the best voice in the world and she speaks English Language more effectively than the Queen of England, this is the reason I allow her to speak during my campaign jamborees.

aahhhhh, laugh wan kill person here

free comedy unlimited

LWKMD

I promised you one yesterday,  na im be this o! This guy never disappoints his fans, lailai

FG bars service chiefs, ministers, others from use of tinted glasses
News Feb 25, 2011
Jonathan, Sambo, Mark, Bankole exempted

By KINGSLEY OMONOBI

ABUJA – The Federal Government, yesterday, announced the ban of the use of tinted glasses by Nigerians, including the Service Chiefs, the Inspector General of Police, ministers, members of the National Assembly, Judges and other top government officials.

Minister of Police Affairs, Mr Humphrey Abah, who made the announcement, yesterday, however noted that President Goodluck Jonathan, Vice President Namadi Sambo, Senate President David Mark and his deputy, Speaker of the House of Representatives and his deputy as well as state governors and their deputies were exempted from the use of tinted glasses.

Explaining reasons for the ban, which is to commence from Monday, the minister said the measure was part of security strategies being put in place to guarantee security in the build up to the April general elections to “help us overcome the challenges of modern crimes like bombings, terrorists acts and the movement of arms and explosives.”

Disclosing that by his announcement, all hitherto permits or authorisation given in the past for the use of tinted glasses stood cancelled, the minister stated that vehicles with factory fitted tinted glasses which are verifiable would be exempted from the ban in the interim.

He said the government action was covered under the Motor Vehicles Prohibition of Tainted Glass Act Cap M21 (An Act to prohibit the tainting or treating in any other way, any glass fitted in a motor vehicle so as to render persons in the vehicle obscure or invincible), adding that all states Police Commissioners are to ensure strict compliance with the directive.

On punitive measures to be meted out to those who ignore the government directive, the minister said any such violator would have him or herself to blame [size=15pt]as Policemen at checkpoints had been given directives to stop such cars and physically remove such tints from the vehicles once it is discovered to be fitted films[/size].

ROTFLMAO
Chei, NLders eh . .

don't stop now

Jos mayhem is not an issue right now, but how uncle Jang will bring vote for me.

My commitment to Nigeria is not partial, neither is it substantial, but it is total.

Copied from GEJ's FB page.

Bawss1:

My commitment to Nigeria is not partial, neither is it substantial, but it is total.

Copied from GEJ's FB page.

Of course his commitment towards Nigeria is not substantial but totally NOTHING!

^^
Well put, 9ijaman.

(AT THE BORDER OF NIGERIA TO NIGER REP. )
As you all know that i was the person that brought facebook to nigeria. . . . Am happy to tell you that we are planning something new and big if not even bigger.(crowd cheers). . . It is known as twit. . . . . . .(after consultin his 133 aides for about 20mins). . . . i mean the name is twit-ter, it is also like internet, dont worry the minister of information will tell you all how to do it later. . . . Just follow me and i promise everyone of you i shall follow you back. . . . (crowds jumpin up and down)

Fellow Nigerians, i thank u all 4ur suport. As u can see 4urselves, d security situation in the country is beyound me, i der4 urge u all to secure urselves if u value ur lives and u can as well die if u chose to after all death na death. God help u all make i win this election, i swear to make sure our account is fully empty. Thank u all once small 4ur dumb suports.

"If you dont vote for Baba(PDP guber aspirant in Bauchi State) dont vote for me (3x)"

My wife spoke, sorry, speaking, em sorry, spoking better English than most Nigerian graduation students.

when I was made the VP i knew i would become President
Because when i was bayelsa state deputy governor i also became governor

dot_man:

(AT THE BORDER OF NIGERIA TO NIGER REP. )
As you all know that i was the person that brought facebook to nigeria. . . . Am happy to tell you that we are planning something new and big if not even bigger.(crowd cheers). . . It is known as twit. . . . . . .(after consultin his 133 aides for about 20mins). . . . i mean the name is twit-ter, it is also like internet, dont worry the minister of information will tell you all how to do it later. . . . Just follow me and i promise everyone of you i shall follow you back. . . . (crowds jumpin up and down)

^^^^ Good one

I heard of a man called Becomrich on nairaland, if nairaland gives me their votes i will make sure their voice is heard, and make use of becomrich's maps

i did n't say youruba people are rascals
what i said enmm saying is that their rulers like Awolowo Tinubu are rascals

I will win the next selection with or without yoruba people vote
With good yoruba people like OBJ, OGD, ALAO TURA SOAP AKALA etc

GEJ is full of shitt. See him with ex-convict fresh out of jail Bode george in Lagos rally now on NTA. what a big shame!!!!