GofuckYourself:
As a counselor I interact with people everyday. And one thing I have noticed is alot of Nigerians are not happy deep down inside.

Forget the facade, ignore the social media photos and filters, the WhatsApp status videos and awesome memes.
, It's all an advert. And one thing adverts are designed to do is exaggerate and project a larger than life perception.
Thank you.
I have come to see that most people are deeply insecure about themselves, and it's not their fault. From childhood they have been programmed to compete. Traditional african upbringing used by most parents to raise Generation x / early Millennials created a deeply insecure , poorly socially adjusted adult suffering from chronic low self esteem.

The millennials/ gen x were compared everyday by their parents. Can't you see your sister got first position ? Can't you see your brother passed maths? Cant you see your cousin is brilliant? Why can't you be like your brother or your sister? Why can't you do this and that. All comparisons to sibblings , neighbors children , cousin etc

Hence these group or young people suffered unbelievable mental trauma. Most melinials don't even know what it means to have a heart to heart conversation with their father because it was normal for most fathers then to be brutishly violent and hardened.

Gen X/ early Millennials had it hardest than any other group because fact is their parents just didn't know better. That is why amongst this group you find the most sociopathic, maladjusted and neurotic individuals in our society today. These guys had it worst, they never learned how to be truly happy. Most saw their father batter their mothers through their childhood and developed hate as an emotion at an early age. There are few whom where spared this fate with either being fatherless (which was a far worse condition in this era) or due to their fathers being abroad frequently or more exposed hence they were spared the rod .

Most Gen x/ early millennials I treat, had extremely traumatic childhoods, but these are for those who grew up in the cities. There where those who grew up in the villages who had it even much worse. These individuals where passed around as house helps and had to endure the most horrific experiences I can't recount in details here. Some from sexual molestation to absurd physical abuse plus downright barbaric treatments.

Back then there were no paid house helps, or agents for house helps, so if these individuals got given away it was seen as doing them a favor.

Irrespective of where the Gen X/ early Millennials grew up city or village the experiences are roughly the same. The ideology they were fed is everyone around you is your competition even your sibblings, you must have money to be complete.

This is why they are the hardest hit by economic downturns and they are the highest suicide risk patients. The average Gen X / early Millennials fall into depression easiest because in truth they were never taught how to be happy its not their fault.

Their happiest childhood memories are littered with competing with sibblings and out doing them or material things nothing intangible save for Christmas period because that's when they got least beatings but they don't realize this.

These Gen x / early Millennials are the highest group of unmarried over aged adults in Nigeria today because they are the group who were taught materialism mostly and they just never felt good enough due the the unrealistic standards they where held to.

Unfortunately they can be the most violent and abusive individuals when they are that way. The women can be extremely violent towards house helps and the men sadistic introverts and loners. On the flip side they are capable of the deepest love when they finally get past all the issues and realize it wasn't their fault, all the things they went through wasn't their fault and they finally see that alot of the ideology they were fed are absolute garbage.

The men seem happiest when they have money and saddest or depressed in financial lack. I am not saying other groups don't feel this way too but Gen X / early Millennials are hardest hit.

But why are so many people's happiness tied to money one might ask?

Is it they don't realize it's just a rectangular piece of paper?

You must learn to find your happiness irrespective of your financial situation. I always encourage people to find a hobby , something you can do with or without money .

Keep a pet , start planting flowers in containers in your house, read books, learn meditation just find something to keep you happy and help you stay off those dark thoughts that lead to depression.

What people don't realize is , if you say it's normal for a man to feel depressed when he doesn't have money, you are so wrong.

That means that money is the on and off switch for his success. That means no matter how strong you are spiritually if someone wants to destroy you all they have to do is to take away you money ? It means you have given all power over yourself to money ? How ignorant and foolish such a man is , to give all power over your life to a rectangular piece of paper. Not good or diamond which can at least survive water no but to a piece a paper?.

In my years as a counselor I have met all kinds of people. I have seen some of the happiest individuals who are totally below average financially and it gives me joy to see such people who have mastered themselves. If things become better for such people they are much better equipped to handle wealth than those who are depressed because they lack money.

Money isn't meant to be the key to your happiness you are meant to control your happiness not a rectangular piece of paper called money.

Most people who get depressed when they lack money are people who have little or no self control. They will easily give into vices like excess drinking , womanizing , drugs violence etc because lack of harmony within reflects outwardly.

If a piece of paper makes you depressed you can't stand for anything.

Is money important yes but it is not more important than oxygen , water , because without these you will die but you cant die for lacking a rectangular piece of paper.

Lay your treasures were termites won't devour them. Let something else be the key to your happiness. Decide that from this moment make something else be that key, maybe love for your children? Maybe love for your partner , love for your wife or your parents or love for your husband?

Maybe something the key for your happiness that is intangible (something not material). This is how I live my life and I encourage people to live. There should be no difference emotionally in you between when you are broke and when you are abundantly having wealth because that is just paper it means nothing.

What should matter mostly to you is being the best version of yourself. No matter how expensive your clothes are a bad character can't be changed by Gucci. Learn to what love is. Learn to love yourself first so you can truly love another.

If you love yourself truly you won't let money control you. You get moody when you are broke and your family withdraw from you due to fear. Or because of money you do just about anything from sleeping with married men to selling yourself for money?

When you learn to love yourself you won't sell yourself for any amount of money. No woman who sleeps with any man for money is worth being called a woman, she has lost which makes her woman spiritually. Such a woman cannot bring a man joy for her spiritual essence has changed.

The mind set it takes for a woman to rationalize sleeping with a man just to get money changes her spirit being , it's is the same mindset it takes for a woman to dump her baby into a gutter.

The moment a woman starts sleeping around a part of her spirit dies each time. This continues the more she indulges until there is nothing left, and whenever she comes around men the men just don't feel Inspired and after a while they want to leave her environment.(I will speak on this in details in another write up)

Let us learn to truly love our being so we can love another in truth and faithfulness.

Have a great weekend.