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He's working now & is burdened with raising his sister's children - Family - Nairaland

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He's working now & is burdened with raising his sister's children by IyaTola: 5:51pm On Feb 23, 2021
People would be angry/bitter at uncles & aunties for not taking care of them but not with the parents who had them with no future plans. Your parents have 8 kids but your uncle with 4 kids is wicked because his children travel for summer when you haven't paid school fees. How

"A friend's elder sister was married off at a young age so he could go to Uni. He's working now & is burdened with raising his sister's children & the other kids his parents kept having while he was at Uni (the youngest is barely 6).

It's a very long, lonely road ahead for him."


That said, Black Tax is EVIL!
It's not older/richer child responsibility. It's not love or duty. It's not parental enjoyment of the fruits of labour. It's EVIL.

This thing, where parents heap their heavy burden of other children on the first child or the child who earns more.

Now that you're done with school, you must take care of the family. Now that you're a banker, you must start paying fees for your younger ones. Now that you're this, now that you're that.

A first daughter has been married for barely three months. Her husband happens to be quite well-off. She asked her siblings not to make any demands from the man, as it won't tell well of their family. But her younger sister believes she's wrong, and wants to go over her head and ask her brother-in-law for money. After all, the man is generous and will give if asked. Besides, he should be catering to his wife's family of five. Not to mention siblings who become entitled, lazy and oh-so-demanding.

A friend asked if a certain federal university in Nigeria charged 200k per session. That's what her younger brother asks for each year - minus books, practicals, exam fees, photosynthesis and parallelogram undecided. She's working her butt off abroad, slaving for ungrateful, thieving, lying twats! .

On the rare occasions that she complains, her parents throw out one proverb about how the head of a first child is for the younger siblings to stand on. My heart breaks for the mostly oldest children in their forties and late thirties, who haven't had the chance to build investment portfolios, have reasonable savings, find love and marriage, buy themselves new things, build their dreams - because they're caring for younger ones.
https://twitter.com/eketiette?s=09

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: He's working now & is burdened with raising his sister's children by awakmfon03(m): 5:59pm On Feb 23, 2021
You're right

3 Likes

Re: He's working now & is burdened with raising his sister's children by Teleprompter(f): 6:26pm On Feb 23, 2021
Entitlement mentality of lazy people

3 Likes

Re: He's working now & is burdened with raising his sister's children by phorget(m): 7:07pm On Feb 23, 2021
If the first child is well to do then it would be a nice idea for him/her also invest on another sibling so that the workload will become lesser.
Re: He's working now & is burdened with raising his sister's children by armyofone(m): 7:38pm On Feb 23, 2021
The 1st child should not be given that responsibility no matter how well to do he or she is. I think it gives some Africa parents the opportunity to have many children than they can care for.

It is not fair to the health and life outlook of the first child to burden them with their parents parental or adult children responsibility.

Give financial help to anyone out there as you can or wish to do. Not that "forced responsibility" African families put on you for being the first born.

If you look deep, the well to do family member has his or her own responsibilities too.

2 Likes

Re: He's working now & is burdened with raising his sister's children by sisisioge: 8:50pm On Feb 23, 2021
It is really a simple something o...simply refuse to be the head the others stand on. Try to reach out when you can o but take it as a random act of benevolence not a duty call. EOD.
Re: He's working now & is burdened with raising his sister's children by armyofone(m): 9:26pm On Feb 23, 2021
No matter how the head strong reach, if they stand on it, the head no go broke ? The head na rock ?

IyaTola:
People would be angry/bitter at uncles & aunties for not taking care of them but not with the parents who had them with no future plans. Your parents have 8 kids but your uncle with 4 kids is wicked because his children travel for summer when you haven't paid school fees. How

"A friend's elder sister was married off at a young age so he could go to Uni. He's working now & is burdened with raising his sister's children & the other kids his parents kept having while he was at Uni (the youngest is barely 6).

It's a very long, lonely road ahead for him."


That said, Black Tax is EVIL!
It's not older/richer child responsibility. It's not love or duty. It's not parental enjoyment of the fruits of labour. It's EVIL.

This thing, where parents heap their heavy burden of other children on the first child or the child who earns more.

Now that you're done with school, you must take care of the family. Now that you're a banker, you must start paying fees for your younger ones. Now that you're this, now that you're that.

A first daughter has been married for barely three months. Her husband happens to be quite well-off. She asked her siblings not to make any demands from the man, as it won't tell well of their family. But her younger sister believes she's wrong, and wants to go over her head and ask her brother-in-law for money. After all, the man is generous and will give if asked. Besides, he should be catering to his wife's family of five. Not to mention siblings who become entitled, lazy and oh-so-demanding.

A friend asked if a certain federal university in Nigeria charged 200k per session. That's what her younger brother asks for each year - minus books, practicals, exam fees, photosynthesis and parallelogram undecided. She's working her butt off abroad, slaving for ungrateful, thieving, lying twats! .

On the rare occasions that she complains, her parents throw out one proverb about how the head of a first child is for the younger siblings to stand on. My heart breaks for the mostly oldest children in their forties and late thirties, who haven't had the chance to build investment portfolios, have reasonable savings, find love and marriage, buy themselves new things, build their dreams - because they're caring for younger ones.
https://twitter.com/eketiette?s=09

3 Likes

Re: He's working now & is burdened with raising his sister's children by PrimadonnaO(f): 2:39am On Feb 24, 2021
I actually believe responsibility to family is something that should come naturally to someone who genuinely loves his/her family. It shouldn't be imposed.

I don't see how I'll have money to spare and I won't see to it that my most immediate friends and family, at least, are getting on fine, too. What's the joy in doing well while the rest of your family struggle without help? That feels selfish and unloving.

Life is good when you're happy, but much better when others are happy because of you.

7 Likes

Re: He's working now & is burdened with raising his sister's children by IyaTola: 5:42am On Feb 24, 2021
armyofone:
No matter how the head strong reach, if they stand on it, the head no go broke ? The head na rock ?

undecided
Re: He's working now & is burdened with raising his sister's children by Nobody: 6:35am On Feb 24, 2021
It is somewhat crippling but it's part of what makes us Africans. However, we should draw strict lines in the sand. Budget before helping anyone. Make sure that you stay within budget and that every family member gets a share.

2 Likes

Re: He's working now & is burdened with raising his sister's children by Liposure: 8:10am On Feb 24, 2021
Spare the charity, spoil the dependants. Meanwhile, the future is united.

2 Likes

Re: He's working now & is burdened with raising his sister's children by yazga: 12:28pm On Feb 24, 2021
wink
RisenPhoenix1:
It is somewhat crippling but it's part of what makes us Africans. However, we should draw strict lines in the sand. Budget before helping anyone. Make sure that you stay within budget and that every family member gets a share.
Re: He's working now & is burdened with raising his sister's children by yazga: 12:28pm On Feb 24, 2021
Liposure:
Spare the charity, spoil the dependants. Meanwhile, the future is united.
How?
Re: He's working now & is burdened with raising his sister's children by yazga: 12:29pm On Feb 24, 2021
A man was trained by his uncle to higher secondary, he's became an average salary earner,but his uncle wants him to train his 12children in return for the favour. This entitlement is really bad.... But can this aunties and uncles too let us be. You will just be on your own jeje, and they will ask you to send Aza, CV, etc then Ghost you.

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Re: He's working now & is burdened with raising his sister's children by yazga: 12:33pm On Feb 24, 2021
The worst one is how parents transfer the training and welfare of their younger children to their older children. This makes some people so entitled to their brothers or sisters money. Go and meet your parents and let your siblings rest.
RisenPhoenix1:
It is somewhat crippling but it's part of what makes us Africans. However, we should draw strict lines in the sand. Budget before helping anyone. Make sure that you stay within budget and that every family member gets a share.
Re: He's working now & is burdened with raising his sister's children by DaBogu: 1:50pm On Feb 25, 2021
PrimadonnaO:
I actually believe responsibility to family is something that should come naturally to someone who genuinely loves his/her family. It shouldn't be imposed.

I don't see how I'll have money to spare and I won't see to it that my most immediate friends and family, at least, are getting on fine, too. What's the joy in doing well while the rest of your family struggle without help? That feels selfish and unloving.

Life is good when you're happy, but much better when others are happy because of you.
wink

2 Likes

Re: He's working now & is burdened with raising his sister's children by general111(m): 4:41pm On Feb 25, 2021
My parents gave birth to three boys.
My elder brother is doing fairly well for himself.
I am also doing well for myself.
My younger brother is just worrying us for money everytime, just because he is in the university.
University wey i don go oh..
Hahaha..
I thank God for my parents sha
Re: He's working now & is burdened with raising his sister's children by IyaTola: 7:12pm On Feb 25, 2021
general111:
My parents gave birth to three boys.
My elder brother is doing fairly well for himself.
I am also doing well for myself.
My younger brother is just worrying us for money everytime, just because he is in the university.
University wey i don go oh..
Hahaha..
I thank God for my parents sha
Help him stand in his feet but just ensure you make him know once you done with schooling OYO is your case it will help build him

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