Would you spy on the GSM phone of your wife or husband to find out if he/she is cheating on you?

This is an important question which will help me make some important decisions.

Comments please.

..

See my facebook profile for the kind of spying I am talking of:

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1353613309

Not everyone has a fcebook account so it may be a good idea to post it here

I am sorry, guys, I posted this in a hurry. I was in class when I did. (I am doing a masters programme and using your laptop for private matters in class is seriously frowned upon).

Here is the message he sent by email to me, which I put on my facebook profile. It is unedited:



---Start---


Dear Allan,

You are the third person and last person I am sending this message to, reason being that you played a godfather role on my wedding. The other persons are my mother and my mother-in-law.

Both women have given me different opinions which I think are biased based on how this case affects them (my mother on my side and my mother-in-law on my wife’s side)

You are the only neutral person who can give me an objective stance as I struggle to take what would probably be the most critical decision of my life to date.

I am married for 2 years now and I never had any reason to suspect my wife until when I went for an official assignment in Port Harcourt 3 weeks ago. In all, we were 37 people from different branches of my company, lodged in a hotel for 6 days.

There were 7 married women amongst us 3 of which must have each slept with at least 3 of my colleagues. These women looked so innocent and I couldn’t help think my innocent wife might be up to something similar whenever she goes on assignments. It was an evil thought but something that had to cross my mind under the circumstances.

I purchased a phone spy and had it installed on my wife’s phone. What I learnt over the past 4 days has made me sick of this world! My tears are staining the computer as I type this email to you. My wife is having an affair with at least 3 different people.

I didn’t need to confront her when I sent her packing while I clear my head. She thinks I am only suspecting her and don’t have any proof, but I am not sure I should disclose how I got the secret text messages and phone calls I was able to record through the phone spy software.

Please sir, don’t ask me if I am sure of what I am saying, like everyone else has been asking me. When a wife starts telling some rich fools on the phone how sweet his d, k is and how she longs for it, and how its sweeter than that of the clown she has at home and all that…bros, I am SURE!

She has denied it so far, even though she is with her mother now. The story they have come up with is that I want to take another wife so I want to use this as an excuse to chase her out for the new woman.

I have a total of 29 text messages which are very clearly incriminating and cannot be denied, as well as a recording of about 14 calls which will make any man commit murder.

It is against the law to tap into someone’s phones so how do I use this evidence to build my case. I have never been unfaithful to my wife since we got married. We are both active members of our church. We have a 9 month old son whom she has been trying too hard to wean because one of her boyfriends (man friends) complains of the milk that comes out of her bosom when he is sucking it! Can you imagine sir?

I know the boy must now be taken for a DNA test! Certainly!

I am confused bros, really confused. I make love to my wife 3 times a night in at least 4 or 5 days per week. She even complains that I want to kill her with sex! I give her N100k every month in addition to the N80k she earns at work, so we don’t lack anything. The other car you shipped to me last year, I gave to her for our second year anniversary together! What else does this naughty woman want?

What is the next step now? Please help me!

---End

My brothers and sisters, please what do you want me to tell this guy?

No big deal I have nothing to hide, she can look all she wants.

@ Allan, what a story. I'm not a fan of divorce but glad he acknowledged that he needed some time to think.


If he marries another wife, and the next wife cheats on him, will he send her packing again ? The problem he made was not finding a woman that had similar values as he did. They both need some form of counseling before he thinks divorce or plans to marry another wife.


BTW, OP are you married or single ?

obowunmi:


BTW, OP are you married or single ?

Bros, I am married o! With 3 lovely kids but nna mehn! This my brother story dey make person fear o!

We are all human and temptation can come anytime --- I don't know how to advise, make your friend take heart ooo! Women sef -- too much wahala! I never marry sha -- I dey loook for wife.

@obowunmi

My guy, I just dey read for nairaland about one woman for london wey wan send her husband back home to naija. u fit apply o!

Seriously, I will appreciate if you can discuss with some of your friends and let me have their opinions as well.

Thanks.

Geeez!!dis story if true sends chills over my body.one minuite u think know someone & d next,they bare their fangs,

I do not condone cheating especially in marriage, if it was just 1 guy they could have worked it out maybe and get to the bottom of the problem but three men? That is too much and if I were the man I would leave because for her to have the audacity to cheat with three men that is too much man,


I would not spy because why would I go look for something I do not want to see
I can understand you sharing everything when you married but have a little privacy with the phone,

.

NEVER!

Meeeeeeeeee? Beg man for love? Lai-Lai! If you nor want to do again. . .abeg WAKAAAH!
Shiioooooooor!
Pen-is wey I don chop taya. . . ?
Just pay the children's school fees and attend to your paternal duties. Which wan consain me with ya phone?


Not that insecure. If anyone is ready to leave the marriage. . .the windows, doors and rooftops are all open for a quick exit.


Diarra 'odas' on 'standby' waiting to 'assume' positions!

I mean corrrrrrrrrrrrrect wans o! Nor be 'mai-mai'.

In fact I have put a  BOLD notice in our bedroom mirror which categorically states:

[size=20pt]Dear husband/part-time lover, if you can find a wife sweeter and kinder and more beautiful than I am. . .with my kind of paycheck not to mention charisma. . . please, lemme know. I will gladly sponsor your wedding without shedding a tear. Mwwwwah! Could you please turn off your damn phones before we go to bed. I don't wanno have to wake you up to shut them off. I am really not interested in who is calling you at 3AM in the morning sweetheart.[/size]

Cheating is a small problem. . .if the spouse is soooooooo 'smitten' by the 'cheatee' or the 'cheater'. . .he or she should make it official. After all the cheating, do they not stay in the same marriage after finding out the grass ain't greener on the outside?


O ye men and women of little faith. . . let them cheat to their satisfaction. No need to despair. Water will ALWAYS seek it's level. . .and oil too(above water)!

People make this relationship of a thingy such a gaddem big deal.
Pity!

3 men?

shoot at sight

You can hardly find a man's name in a lady's phone because they would rather save all the men name with female's name.so don 't bother spying.

chaircover:

Sorry but it sounds like Nollywood to me.

[b]3 men at the same time!!! Yet the husband didn't suspect anything at all. If the story is indeed true then there is something wrong somewhere with both the husband and wife[/b]Somehow I think this is a very clever advertisement for the phone spy gadget

Agree. She's sleeping with 3 different men and her husband didn't suspect a thing until a certain spy gadget got the evidence? Abeg talk another one jo

hey this is really bad but not the end of the world, i think divorce is allowed when infidelity is involved, this is just too much to handle but this is not a guarantee to spy on your spouse. it is totally unacceptable.

Let me ask you when u heard all those conversations why didn't you trail her to catch her red-handed, why rely on phone-bug?

Anyway am so sorry but young man just make her confess before taking any action, she just have to admit it else my dear i don't know if this is realllllllllllllll,

cheers

I guess this is the same dude trying to advertise to us the importance of purring that chip in our spouses phone , T his gist aint real to me smelt marketing from the onset 9ice concept anyway,

blazzy, Just to tell you that if u are not married, husband go hard o,
Sorry for your husband if you are married.
Then to my brother the victim; seek counsel from your pastor and do not take whatyever we will tell you here.
But if you must take our counsel here, I will tell you to repent sincerely first and take your WIFE to God in prayers for deliverance and keep her. She is your wife.
Know this: the spiritual controls the physical.
Goodluck bro.

Once in a while I do dat. Cos he does dat to my fone too.

Dantecmu:

I guess this is the same dude trying to advertise to us the importance of purring that chip in our spouses phone , T his gist aint real to me smelt marketing from the onset 9ice concept anyway,

There isn't anywhere in his posts where anything like the phone chip was stated.

i would defiately check if she is cheating on me,

I wont call it spy I will call it freedom of relationship its not a bad thing for one to go trough the partners phone I wouldn't have a problem if my future partner would do that.

One of the promises of marriage is to stay for "better for worse" as we commonly put it, it is a very terrible thing for any of the parties to contemplate or actually get involved in unfaithfulness and for the men,that is the only ground for divorce in the Bible for the xtians. We cannot judge the woman because we have not heard her side of the story but from what we have read so far, it is a shame!


What kind of upbringing will a woman involved with 4 men at the same time give to her children, she did not even consider her own health as we cannot be sure that she uses protection with all of them.

Trust is one of the basics in any relationship especially marriage, if someone can trust me enough to spend his life with me,then his phone contacts and details should not be an issue.I should be able to go through my spouses phone and he mine.

Yes i wil 4 safety reason. Allanohize, am very sori 4 wat happen,it is really patetik. But pls Allan kan u help me wit dat fonesoftware let me do wat u did, or if any1 knows how 2 get dis software, u kan reach me tru dis e-mail obongtunji@yahoo.com. Tanks

mosindimik:

blazzy, Just to tell you that if u are not married, husband go hard o,
Sorry for your husband if you are married.

If I have not gotten married by now. . .a man would be the very last thing on my mind shhhuuuug.
I mos-def would not be needing one.
As for pitying my husband. . . you have the un-alienable, God-given right to do just that.
Not my consain.

@ OP and All,

If a Man and a woman that are married can not be open to each other, why marrying in the first place.

There's nothing like respecting one's privacy in marriage.

For those who that are Christians, the holy book says Both the man and the woman were unclothed and not ashamed.

The interpretation of that means no privacy in marriage, everything between them should be open.

If I can not go through my wife's phone or Laptop for whatever reason it is, it doesn't matter, who else should do that

Whosoever wish to get married should be prepared for it if not just hold your self.

It isn't a sin if one remains single.

My take shaa.

'When a wife starts telling some rich fools on the phone how sweet his d, k is and how she longs for it, and how its sweeter than that of the clown she has at home and all that'

Mheen that's the part that really struck me the most,

naijababe:

Agree. She's sleeping with 3 different men and her husband didn't suspect a thing until a certain spy gadget got the evidence? Abeg talk another one jo

It's very easy for women to do that!!! Especially wiv the introduction of this 4.kin BB makes it easier for the married women!!!

I have a story to tell!!