My friend is 35 and her husband 42. They met and got married here 4yrs. ago but no issue yet. She claims her husband always frustrate her efforts of getting pregnant and each time she tried to make him see reasons why they  need it, he said she's been too much in a hurry and that they need to take their time.  Now, she's running out of patience, her parents back home are eager to have a grandchild but the husband says there is more to marriage than baby making.
   She turned to me for a piece of advice on what to do and I'm very sure she'll appreciate yours too.

Yes there is more to marriage then baby makin. Having a child is a huge responsibility, and the marriage can change. Its good that the couple can explore and get to know each other, coz when they have children its going to be hard for them to have alone time. However theyve been married for 4 years no, the honeymoon period doesnt last that long.

Does her husband want to have a child at all?

if he doesnt want to have a child, then i suggest they discuss about this issue.

if he does want to have a child, he should know the implications of leaving it laterThereA womans fertility decreases as she gets older, meaning it gets harder conceiving.
There is also high risk of child being born prematurely and high risk of downs syndrome aswell.

The woman is 35, she doesn't have many more child-bearing years left. Does the husband not see this? Tell her to let her husband know that if he wants to have kids with her, they better start moving.

If she is not Nigerian he is only using her for paper and dose not want left overs when he goes

i gat two answers for ur girlfriend

one the guy is guy

or

two he is impotent

case closed

i meant gay, oops!!


the guy is gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Hes gay b/c he doesn't want children? Now, you re right he may be impotent, but if so he needs to tell his wife.

maybe he have kids already she is 35 she should sit him down and talk to him .

It's obvious your friend's husband has something up his sleeve. A typical Nigerian man of 42yrs  must be highly interested in baby-making.  Doesn't he consider the wife's age and the attendant risk of late child bearing? If the wife has never conceived once since 4yrs of marriage am afraid the guy may have fertility (or is it sterility) issues or has deliberately done some kind of family planning.It's also possible he has another wife and child/ren elsewhere. If I were that wife, I would just put it to him one day that I missed my period and watch his reaction. If he's not excited and acts as  if he doesn't believe me then I'd know I've been trapped and inform his parents.

The poster didn't say they don't have sex,so being impotent may not be the problem but he is definitely behaving funny and hiding something. It could be one of the following

!)The man already has children from another lady.
2)He has no intention of having the marriage last long.
3)He may know he can't have children
4)He is really not interested in having children because of his age and just want to spend time with his wife.

Whatever let her sit him down and lovingly speak with him and creat an atmosphere for him to honestly let her know whats the issue.

Do the phock using condom?

I'm surprised that they got married late (31 for her and 38 for him) and don't seem like they discussed the "children" topic earlier. I married young but if i had to wait til my thirties to get married "baby" would definitely have been the first topic on my list with any possible "future husband".

I just don't get it. How did they got so far (4 yrs of marriage) at this age and still don't agree on such a crucial topic? I know of people who don't want children at all but they make it very clear with their partners at the beginning of every relationship. Or is it that the man already told her that he is not interested in having children, and the lady overlooked it, thinking that he would change his mind after getting married? big mistake if that's the case,

It's obvious your friend's husband has something up his sleeve. A typical Nigerian man of 42yrs must be highly interested in baby-making. Doesn't he consider the wife's age and the attendant risk of late child bearing? If the wife has never conceived once since 4yrs of marriage am afraid the guy may have fertility (or is it sterility) issues or has deliberately done some kind of family planning.It's also possible he has another wife and child/ren elsewhere. If I were that wife, I would just put it to him one day that I missed my period and watch his reaction. If he's not excited and acts as if he doesn't believe me then I'd know I've been trapped and inform his parents.

i like that approach, but really they need to talk abt it. The man should let her know when he wld love to have children if its when hes 70 etc, if shes not ok wt his timg she shld make him understand dat in relationships couples have to make sacrifices. Shes a woman. Child bearing at a later age is wt alot of risks, even to her life. If he loves her this is 1 area i think he shld show some sensitivity. If hes still adamant on her not havg any babies anytime sooon, ehn

The guy has problems, the lady should better involve both families oooo, time is running out on her part, 35, when will she have her children?, something is definitely wrong.

something's fishy about the man.

tpia@:

something's fishy about the man.

Yes, you guessed right. at 35 she is reaching her last bus-stop, but some women have been known to drive way past their bus-stops and are making babies at 45 but that is no excuse. even the very impoverished poor still live on N7,000 per month and have up to 3 kids and holding the house down (barely)

The man needs deliverance or better yet he should tell you the real truth

35 years old for a female is reaching her last bus stop?? who told you that it applies in this age not really. she is just at the begining. the problem is her man not wanting to have kids. she has to dig deeper into the reason behind his not wanting babies.

Sleek Reek:

The poster didn't say they don't Be Intimate,so being impotent may not be the problem but he is definitely behaving funny and hiding something. It could be one of the following

!)The man already has children from another lady.
2)He has no intention of having the marriage last long.
3)He may know he can't have children
4)He is really not interested in having children because of his age and just want to spend time with his wife.

Whatever let her sit him down and lovingly speak with him and creat an atmosphere for him to honestly let her know whats the issue.

You just spoke my mind! as simple as that!