IN BLISS, IN STORM


Things weren't always like this. I wasn't always like this. They made me what I am today, and I've got to say, I'm pretty much grateful they did.

Three years ago, Sunandra and I went out on a date. We made dinner reservations at a Restaurant not too far from our apartment.

I was to ask her to be my wife and the mother of my children that night. I was ready to take the big step in our relationship and make her mine forever.

That night, while we were still having the blast of our lives; laughing at silly jokes, reminiscing on when we first met and making the most of that moment, a storm struck and devoured our happiness.

It did not just take away from me my beloved Sunandra, it took away my humanity and everything that goes with it.

It came in the form of a man in black. He had a face mask on and a gun in his hand.

He ran into the restaurant and fired his gun to the roof. He was running from the police.

We all panicked and fell on our faces. Sunandra had began to cry and so did others.

The man told us to remain as we were; faced down. Nobody should move, he said.

It wasn't long until the police surrounded the place. They announced that he should come out and surrender but he was reluctant.

It all happened so fast, I didn't have time to think. He ran to where our table was and grabbed Sunandra before I could protest.

My head went all out, I couldn't think. He used his left arm and held her by the neck. They were both facing the entrance into the restaurant.

He moved closer to it so that the police outside would see her and possibly bring their guns down and let him go.

She was pregnant.

Hold fire, I heard someone say from outside. He kept moving forward.

I heard her call out to me, but I couldn't respond to her call. I wanted to run to her and pin him down to the ground, but I couldn't move. I was stuck.

Minutes later, “I said hold fir...,” the voice said again and the gun went off.

Everyone screamed and buried deeper to the floor their faces.

I didn't count how many times the shots were rendered, but the man fell, and so did Sunandra.

The bullet had hit the man straight in his head. He died instantly.

Sunandra was hit in her stomach and shoulder. I just stood there and watched my Pregnant, Beloved Sunandra, bleed to death. She couldn't even make it to the hospital.

The officer who rendered the shot said what he did was in line with his duty. If one would die for others to live, then so be it. He didn't even seem remorseful one bit.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, I still couldn't get over the fact that Sunandra was gone and was never coming back.

I sort to drinking and smoking to pass time, but it didn't seem to help, it only made things worse.

I wanted Sunandra back, I wanted to see her face, even if it's just once. I wanted to see the face she left with. The face that had tears all over them. The face that begged me to save her.

You can say the devil birthed himself in me, I don't care, but something happened.

The first was an accident. I pushed a pregnant lady off the train and she died. The rest wasn't. I finally got to see Sunandra. I saw her in them.

I found solace in their screams and the face they wore whenever I brought the gun to their stomach. It was the same face Sunandra wore the day she died.

I loved every bit of it. I still do.

It brings me unimaginable bliss and I won't let that go for anything. For as long as I get to see her face whenever I kill, I won't stop cause I know I've found my peace.

And I know that whatever happens, I will always love my Sunandra.

Even in death.