*"Dear Men, work hard so that in your old age you have something for yourself , forget about the children and their mother! You are the only stranger in that family you call yours, that house is for your wife and kids ! My grandfather told me that a married man is like a tractor that builds a road, does it very nicely BUT when the road is completed , they bring a low loader and carry the tractor away claiming it will spoil the road!! That tractor is never allowed to step on the road it built ! Same case to a married man, you deny yourself , get loans , wear used clothes to see your children through high school and college because we believe that the only gift you can give your children is quality education cos there are no more shambas!! When the children hit teenage, now the Father is dispensable, most of these women poison the children against their father, language like "If it wasn't for me you wouldn't have studied, he was only interested in alcohol and women!! Now the tractor is about to be carried away!!! Once the children start working , mzee has retired and when the children come visiting the poor mzee is given two hundred infront of the mother , while the mother pulls them to the kitchen and the Father doesn't know what mama has been given! Once the children drive off, the mzee is told to buy sugar with the two hundred unless he wants to drink sugarless tea!! These are some of the reasons why men die early and leave widows behind suffering !! I have seen mothers fly abroad to visit their children while the mzee is left at home looking after their two cows, ever wondered why? That poison spread by mothers towards the mzee !! Dear men work hard and save something for yourself because nowadays aging without property is almost like a death sentence !!! Wake up struggle while you can before your old age
FOR MEN ONLY

The irony is that even the person that wrote this is not a man

Words from the wise...we all know children are insurance to old age but as a wise man, always plan for your old age...e get why. Sometimes I see old men pushing barrows, hawking and am always forced to ask myself why? don't they have children?

Men should always set themselves up for old age because that time, hmmm...e no dy funny oo.

simple truth.


awon the future is ... are on their way

Knowhowk

I wish I can give this your thread 100 likes.

I am looking forward to get married and I have been thinking and planning to have saving that not even my wife will know about it because of the negativity in marriage. If i die unexpectedly then the money loss but if I reach retirement age, then I will enjoy my money alone

I greatly support and kudos your write up.

Knowhowk. Bravos to you 100 times

Only a foolish male child would allow any person, loving mother or not or any other mortal, misleads him into not giving his best to his beloved father at old age or not. Perhaps, you think that everyone is from your kind of family and that all male children are foolish like you want me to believe is the case from where you are coming as your post connotes. Boy, if my father were to turn to a god today, I will gladly worship him - that's how dear he's to my heart - without any other mortal, no matter how dear to me stopping me from doing so.

Dear op, your grandfather wasn't a wise man.
If he was, he would've rather advised you to raise your children well in the way that they'd never depart from.

One question though; how do/did you treat your father?

People just come up with falsehood. How does a child take care of the mother and abandon the father? Where is it done? Which family? Op is this also peculiar to your family?

My father was cared for, same way as my mum. Let's stop spreading lies to feed a narrative.

This is not always true. You are teaching men to be selfish not balanced. It's true that many men use their money on women and alcohol. Is it a lie?

Take care of your children. A child will always remember who he or she sees the most and who takes care of their needs. Men, you love football, beer parlour, side chick vagina more than your children's own and if you continue, one day you will look back to see no football, no beer but disease and no side chick. They have all abandoned you by then. When you don't have money, the woman who sticks by you is the one who truly loves you but when you have money, you look being deceived. You follow those calling you honey but honey is actually bitterleaf (it's your money making them call you sweet names.

Another person who has refused to take responsibility for his actions.
You reap what you sow
If your children fear you, barely know you and don't see you involved in any part of their lives , how do you expect them to be involved in yours when they're older?
Their mothers cannot teach them to love you, it should come naturally. What kind of father are you , that your own children cannot give to or care for you? It just shows your own failure as a father.
With regards to the purpose of you thread, I quite agree your children should never be a retirement plan and you should plan for your own retirement.
I would advise you don't have more children than you can cater for, because that would affect your retirement preparations. Remember to plan your pregnancies and get a vasectomy as soon as you're happy with the number of kids you have.
Don't bring to the world children you're unable to cater for.
May God help us all

If you love your children, they will know. The moms don’t turn them against you. As a matter of fact, some moms try to salvage the relationship between y’all and your kids but you don’t make it easy.

It’s not their mother’s job to make them love you same as it’s not your job to make them love their mother. If you don’t hold yourself responsible for the relationship between them and their mother, why do you think it’s fair to hold their mother’s accountable for your relationship with the children?

Think better. Do better

cococandy:
If you love your children, they will know. The moms don’t turn them against you. As a matter of fact, some moms try to salvage the relationship between y’all and your kids but you don’t make it easy.

It’s not their mother’s job to make them love you same as it’s not your job to make them love their mother. If you don’t hold yourself responsible for the relationship between them and their mother, why do you think it’s fair to hold their mother’s accountable for your relationship with the children?

Think better. Do better

You haven't been honest here, but the reason isn't far-fetched. OP erred with his advice by making a generalization, yes. However, it's a fact that all women who have low self-esteem/inordinate penchants for power and control have always done everything possible to turn their children against their fathers covertly and mildly or overtly and severely depending on their relationship with their male partners, and some feeble-minded children do succumb even while it's evident the fathers love them. Evidence abounds.

In summary, there are both men and women who do wittingly or unwittingly take delight in humiliating/oppressing/suffering their partners. Cruelty and subjugation are real.

@op, in as much as i will agree with you that one should plan every well for the old age, i will categorically tell you that our Children are not that stupid. Go and check very well, those children that abandoned their fathers are likely from abusive families where their fathers are hopelessly irresponsible and always mistreated their mothers.

Nothing annoys a good mother more than a cheating irresponsible husband that spend hopelessly and sleep with different women. She will definitely poison the minds of their children.

cococandy:
If you love your children, they will know. The moms don’t turn them against you. As a matter of fact, some moms try to salvage the relationship between y’all and your kids but you don’t make it easy.

It’s not their mother’s job to make them love you same as it’s not your job to make them love their mother. If you don’t hold yourself responsible for the relationship between them and their mother, why do you think it’s fair to hold their mother’s accountable for your relationship with the children?

Think better. Do better

Is there any sane reason a daddy/father won't love his child/children, by default a child should feel/think my parent loves me, its take someone more closer to the child to alter such believe.
Now what naija mothers do @times that make kids feel there dad hate or don"t love dem are,
*naija moms push the man of the house to be the disciplinarian, when kids do wrong dey threaten kids with i wil tell ur dad, that mom that reported her to kids n demand the man punish dem will go behind to those children to pet dem to sleep.
*Most upkeep money or school fees are collected behind closed doors buh mothers will come out n pose i fought with ur dad seriously but don't worry i av paid ur school fee
* Mothers will even go as far as feeding there children its because of ur father we are not enjoying as it should be, ur father is stingy told him to take us to eko hotel for weekend he said no, baba yin stingy. my children it because of you i'm still with ur father suffering, i would av left i just sold my wrappers
I can go on n on buh lets save the epistle, most times mothers are responsible for the bad r/ship between kids & fathers

Regardless of your relationship with your children. Men, please set yourself up to be independent. Many men will.not live long enough to enjoy any financial blessings your kids can give.

Do the best, you can for them. But dont forget yourself. The truth is that women and mothers enjoy the sympathy of kids, church, community better than men.

Being a good father is sometimes a thankless Job. Let's face it, many men won't have the privilege of spending time with kids. The burden of performance is on men.

Old age is a scary time for most men, you spend your best years catering for others only to be abandoned in your old age. Your friends will start to die one by one. Your health fails.

Na old age we dey know good wife.

Dont get it twisted, continue to be good to your kids and family.

Men don't be Carried away by Distractions and Digression ,Make sure you Plan your old Age .Plan your old age ,I repeat Plan your old age .Give the best Education you can give to your Children ,Cater well for your wife ,Then plan for your old age ,If U relax and start waiting for returns from your Children you are on your own oooo. Don't get it twisted ,It's Possible they Remember U but be on a safer side ,Doing the right thing does not give d guarantee that they must come take care of u at ur Old age.Truth is Bitter