debbydams:
do u think its easy to carry a child for 9months, pains during pregnancy, child birth, nd nursing the child from Creche to university, so one shameless man will now want to sit as a father on his or her wedding day, bible says Kama rii(its imposible) the current hubby will be his or her father,,I Trust that shameless man won't dare face me tho..as a smart mother I'll tell my kid everything,nd I trust the kid wouldn't want him

saphiere:
I mean he was no there through thick and thin.
You took in, gave birth and train the child alone. He runs away like most men do once their wives give birth.
Now the child is about to get married and he comes to perform the marriage rites as a father.

Is it proper?

saphiere:
I mean he was no there through thick and thin.
You took in, gave birth and train the child alone. He runs away like most men do once their wives give birth.
Now the child is about to get married and he comes to perform the marriage rites as a father.

Is it proper?

saphiere:
I mean he was no there through thick and thin.
You took in, gave birth and train the child alone. He runs away like most men do once their wives give birth.
Now the child is about to get married and he comes to perform the marriage rites as a father.

Is it proper?

saphiere:
I mean he was no there through thick and thin.
You took in, gave birth and train the child alone. He runs away like most men do once their wives give birth.
Now the child is about to get married and he comes to perform the marriage rites as a father.

Is it proper?

Carchoice:



The interesting thing about being a man is, no matter what you did in the past, they must still look for you to come break the kola.

Saphire my dear, if you know you cannot plant and grow penis, stop hating

saphiere:
I mean he was no there through thick and thin.
You took in, gave birth and train the child alone. He runs away like most men do once their wives give birth.
Now the child is about to get married and he comes to perform the marriage rites as a father.

Is it proper?

Sentientmind:

i wouldnt, if im in anyway related, ill woukdnt welcome the father. but if the girk hooses to, who am i to refuse it. but personally i wouldnt welcome it.

ecolime:
I just discovered this Ops bitterness against men all over Nairaland.

You must have been terribly heartbroken by a dude or several. You may also have been abused sexually as a child and thus the hatred for men and constant vile comments. Who knows?

It's not the end of the world young woman. You can still start your life afresh. Free your mind from this hurt and pains of the past. Go for therapy sessions so that you can heal properly.

You deserve to be happy. My prayers are with you.

Best wishes!

saphiere:
I mean he was no there through thick and thin.
You took in, gave birth and train the child alone. He runs away like most men do once their wives give birth.
Now the child is about to get married and he comes to perform the marriage rites as a father.

Is it proper?

saphiere:
I mean he was no there through thick and thin.
You took in, gave birth and train the child alone. He runs away like most men do once their wives give birth.
Now the child is about to get married and he comes to perform the marriage rites as a father.

Is it proper?

Carchoice:



The interesting thing about being a man is, no matter what you did in the past, they must still look for you to come break the kola.

Saphire my dear, if you know you cannot plant and grow penis, stop hating

ImaIma1:


The good thing is that after he breaks the kola, he returns to his life without the child in it and everybody goes back to their lives.

One day of breaking kola is not enough to change the situation.

ImaIma1:


The good thing is that after he breaks the kola, he returns to his life without the child in it and everybody goes back to their lives.

One day of breaking kola is not enough to change the situation.

saphiere:
I mean he was no there through thick and thin.
You took in, gave birth and train the child alone. He runs away like most men do once their wives give birth.
Now the child is about to get married and he comes to perform the marriage rites as a father.

Is it proper?

saphiere:
I mean he was no there through thick and thin.
You took in, gave birth and train the child alone. He runs away like most men do once their wives give birth.
Now the child is about to get married and he comes to perform the marriage rites as a father.

Is it proper?

saphiere:
I mean he was no there through thick and thin.
You took in, gave birth and train the child alone. He runs away like most men do once their wives give birth.
Now the child is about to get married and he comes to perform the marriage rites as a father.

Is it proper?

Carchoice:


Of course he will go back to his life, but his blessings will follow you to your new home whether you like it or not. That’s the essence of breaking kola.

ImaIma1:


That's the lie that is usually told. A father is much more than a sperm donor. Someone else who cared for a child and showed that child fatherly love is worth more than the biological father, and his blessings superceeds that of the biological father.

Don't let anyone lie to you about blessings from someone who never even acknowledged your existence.

ImaIma1:


That's the lie that is usually told. A father is much more than a sperm donor. Someone else who cared for a child and showed that child fatherly love is worth more than the biological father, and his blessings superceeds that of the biological father.

Don't let anyone lie to you about blessings from someone who never even acknowledged your existence.

Carchoice:
so what will you say about people that prays to God every day and thinks their prayers are not answered? Should we also say God does not acknowledge their existence?

What I know is, no matter what a father or a mother did in the past, it shouldn’t make you think or reason like the OP.

I had the worse case while growing up, but today he uses every opportunity he gets to apologize for his wrongs because he never expected the love and care I show him.

ImaIma1:


If you followed my comment to the first one, you would understand my responses. It was to the below bolded comment:

The interesting thing about being a man is, no matter what you did in the past, they must still look for you to come break the kola.

Nothing was said about forgiveness or someone asking for forgiveness, but them "looking" for someone to come and break kola just because he donated sperm.

So having someone just come and do marriage rites just because he is the biological father doesn't really change anything.

Carchoice:


OP is trying to know if the father should be part of the marriage ceremony when he wasn’t part of the child’s life.

I mentioned forgiveness because it is only those that are still holding on to the past that will ask such questions. If our mother had swallowed or our father had used condom, none of us will be here to debate their rights or wrong.


forgive, learn from it, move on and do better.

Just an advice, if you meet a man that has such issues against his mother or father, don’t marry him until he changes completely.

Also note that, someone doesn’t necessarily need to seek your forgiveness before you forgive that person.

saphiere:
I mean he was no there through thick and thin.
You took in, gave birth and train the child alone. He runs away like most men do once their wives give birth.
Now the child is about to get married and he comes to perform the marriage rites as a father.

Is it proper?

saphiere:
I mean he was no there through thick and thin.
You took in, gave birth and train the child alone. He runs away like most men do once their wives give birth.
Now the child is about to get married and he comes to perform the marriage rites as a father.

Is it proper?