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My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Marriage Has Failed Me! / My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do / My Marriage Has Finally Ended (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Lostchild(m): 3:16pm On Jul 28, 2021
hosemujica:
That last one na coco. Thats why most guys want a child before they even say yes these days .

Na so
I will taste before I pay

2 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Nobody: 3:17pm On Jul 28, 2021
ravensckar:
My apologies for misunderstanding you then. wink wink

I've been a bit bored, hence I needed someone to have a 'word match'.

It's ok, dear. smiley
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Nobody: 3:24pm On Jul 28, 2021
Pecoleee345:
She is in father house.....I don't expect her to spend her money.....her father should continue from where I stopped.

They want right but not equal responsibility...
She's your responsibility as wife and her primary duty is to give care and not provide, be a masculine man and not a man who feels relaxed watching his wife toil to help him share responsibility.

14 Likes 6 Shares

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by MASTERYANKEE: 3:25pm On Jul 28, 2021
CharisEleos:
Twp Captains cannot be in one boat.
The problem lies with both of you.
She cannot take shit. You cannot take shit. So, who will now take the shit? Pride.

Pride goes before a fall. That is what has befallen your marriage.
When you learn to get off your high horses, you both will be cohabitable.

The problem with many couples is that they place themselves higher than the other. Now you talked about her trying to measure up to you ( equality). What made you see her as trying to do that if you yourself have not placed yourself so high.? Even before God, we all are equal. So why think you are higher than someone else? Your better half for that matter.

It's normal for two people to have a misunderstanding. But you should learn to to let go immediately and also try to avoid anything that will cause any further misunderstanding. If you see it coming, quickly turn it to a joke. Is she sees it coming, let her do same. but no. Rather you'll feel, "Why should I be the one to backdown" let him /her go to hell!!!!!!. Ego.

If you can't manage your first marriage then you'll not be able to manage the next. mind you the other woman will be coming with a baggage of her own character flaws.

No one is perfect.
You forget to talked about her weak womb and abortion. You be yeye person .

81 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Nobody: 3:27pm On Jul 28, 2021
djon78:




Abegi make we hear word

A woman must bring something to the table when coming into marriage

A topic was trending on Twitter some days ago where one guy put his condition for marrying any woman includes her financial assets/ capability and her academic potentials

And many guys affirmed to that

Many guys are now considering a woman's financial capability before marriage unlike before where they shoulder everything
I pity women who gives men like you a chance in their life and making them miserable all in the name of women bringing something to the table. Women are not providers,you men of this generation should go learn from your forefathers.

14 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Buharidgeneral: 3:30pm On Jul 28, 2021
SimplyFacts:
For compatibility, a lady once told me that she needed to get confirmation from her two Pastors & her mom's?

3 Pastors Mo ya look away. Before she gave a reply, [b][/b]I told her my Pastor said (na lie o) he saw death ahead of us cheesy.

I can't lay the foundation of my marriage or live my life on the beliefs of other people she called Pastors.

2 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Nobody: 3:31pm On Jul 28, 2021
Pecoleee345:
l
Yea.....i messed up in that aspect..... Especially the background check and way of life.

The worst one was the medical check it was two years into marriage I found out she had weak womb due to abortion....


Omoooo...., words failed me shocked
It is well OP

2 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Nobody: 3:32pm On Jul 28, 2021
cry cryI feel your pain bro.but you need to leave that marrage cryI feel your pain bro.but you need to leave that marrage

1 Like

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Nobody: 3:34pm On Jul 28, 2021
MASTERYANKEE:

You forget to talked about her weak womb and abortion. You be yeye person .

The op only adivsed his audience to avoid ladies with such. He never said his ex had it. Maybe I missed that part.
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Buharidgeneral: 3:39pm On Jul 28, 2021
[quote author=SimplyFacts post=104178919]For compatibility, a lady once told me that she needed to get confirmation from her two Pastors & her mom's?

3 Pastors Mo ya look away. Before she gave a reply, I told her my Pastor said (na lie o) he saw death ahead of us cheesy.

I can't lay the foundation of my marriage or live my life on the beliefs of other people she called Pastors.
[/
Lol
Japa big time

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Made619(m): 3:42pm On Jul 28, 2021
CharisEleos:
Twp Captains cannot be in one boat.
The problem lies with both of you.
She cannot take shit. You cannot take shit. So, who will now take the shit? Pride.

Pride goes before a fall. That is what has befallen your marriage.
When you learn to get off your high horses, you both will be cohabitable.

The problem with many couples is that they place themselves higher than the other. Now you talked about her trying to measure up to you ( equality). What made you see her as trying to do that if you yourself have not placed yourself so high.? Even before God, we all are equal. So why think you are higher than someone else? Your better half for that matter.

It's normal for two people to have a misunderstanding. But you should learn to to let go immediately and also try to avoid anything that will cause any further misunderstanding. If you see it coming, quickly turn it to a joke. Is she sees it coming, let her do same. but no. Rather you'll feel, "Why should I be the one to backdown" let him /her go to hell!!!!!!. Ego.

If you can't manage your first marriage then you'll not be able to manage the next. mind you the other woman will be coming with a baggage of her own character flaws.

No one is perfect.
bullshit!!! you didn't read where he said the lady damaged her womb as a result of previous abortions of which she never told him....na pride u dey c bcuz him mention dragging equality. is a woman suppose to drag equality with her man I the first place?? that enough reason to dump her. abegee

69 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by AbujaCitiBlog: 3:43pm On Jul 28, 2021
Pecoleee345:
So over last weekend....I called family meeting my mum,elder brother and I went to my wife parents house...her family members were present.

They wanted to resolve things between us but no one gave a Bleep about me....they asked her to speak and she said alot of things both truth and lies.
I was lambasted from both sides and I let them finished properly before dropping the bomb......I looked into her eye straight up and told her am divorcing you.

They were all stunned.... they were now interested in my side of the story.

I decided not to say anything.....am not the type that bad mouth people to score points or look good (my ex-wife is very good at that)....I just told her family to demand the truth from her.

My device to young men.
1.make sure u know the background of the lady u wanna get involved with....there way of life etc
The mistake I made wasn't evaluating her background......we from completely different backgrounds....eg where she comes from people talking crazy and shouting at one another isn't a big deal but me it was a Taboo infact in my parent house u can't talk with high tones for normal discussions.

2.See forget love and looks......Make sure you know the main reason she wants to marry you.
I know she loves me but she had another motive which is am meant to give her everything she wants in Life....She had that mind set of her responsibilities is totally dependent on me.

She told me she can only spare or borrow me money towards doing anything in the house but is my duty to provide anything she wants even the riddicules ones.

3.For your peace of mind stay away from most ladies raised by single mothers because most her poison to hate men right from teens by there mother.
They are mostly insecure....they believe all men cheat and can never trust.
Comes with mad jealousy

They mostly have anger issue.... they will tell you I don't take shit... trying to show they are strong and can't take what there mother took despite you not doing any shit.....they want to have say in everything just to show you are equal.

They are always quick to be on the defensive
Just to mention a few

I once told my wife am not like your father when I couldn't take the policing, sneaking and threat anymore.

See as a man no one gives a shit about you..... people are sympathetic towards the female and expect you to take whatever she throws at you but you need your peace of mind.
The society has made it possible for women to get away with lot of things.

If you found a woman you want to marry please put love aside and get to really know her background well......cohabit with her for 6month......lastly even if you don't have money, please borrow and go for comprehensive medical check up with her.... (check your sperm count and the state of her womb) please.




Smart man Kudos.

6 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by kingreign(m): 3:44pm On Jul 28, 2021
Ishilove:

Your father is the biggest fool for not pouring you into a condom. Now we have to endure your nuisance. Your parents think they have a son, they don't know they have cursed the world with a braying donkey in human flesh.

You ignored henceforth, you irritating, ripe boil on the ass of humanity.
shocked shocked
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by mrblessed(m): 3:45pm On Jul 28, 2021
Love is important in a marriage, but the background of a lady is far more important, because it is what shapes her life and disposition towards the man in particular and the marriage in general. If, for example, she deviates from the principles with which she was trained, her family members are willing to rebuke and chastise her according. Knowing that her family members would not condone any form of misdirection from her is enough reason to make her comport herself orderly and respectfully. This is the reason our ancestors payed keen attention to family background before contracting marriage rites.

Another good point for men is to study the attitude of the mother you intend to marry her daughter. This is because most ladies usually take after their mothers. Just like the Op's account portrayed, his wife is a replica of her mother.

51 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by pocohantas(f): 3:47pm On Jul 28, 2021
Another philosopher/motivational speaker is born…

Peace be unto you. smiley

11 Likes 5 Shares

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Ishilove: 3:49pm On Jul 28, 2021
kingreign:

shocked shocked
He is a nincompoop. He did not ask what I was referring to in my post. Some women take good men for granted and they only know the value of these men when they lose them. This is what I meant in my post, but being the dumb donkey that he is, he was quick to quote me to type the same trash he ejects from his grimy anus.

6 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by id4sho(m): 3:50pm On Jul 28, 2021
b3llo:
I like your closing remark "Run a background check on the woman you want to marry."



Avoid women raised by single mums like fire...
Oil dey your head

2 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Nobody: 3:53pm On Jul 28, 2021
Op is a liar, most Nigerian men are liars and manipulators.You all will be surprised if you hear the wife's side.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Nobody: 4:02pm On Jul 28, 2021
Pecoleee345:
So over last weekend....I called family meeting my mum,elder brother and I went to my wife parents house...her family members were present.

They wanted to resolve things between us but no one gave a Bleep about me....they asked her to speak and she said alot of things both truth and lies.
I was lambasted from both sides and I let them finished properly before dropping the bomb......I looked into her eye straight up and told her am divorcing you.

They were all stunned.... they were now interested in my side of the story.

I decided not to say anything.....am not the type that bad mouth people to score points or look good (my ex-wife is very good at that)....I just told her family to demand the truth from her.

My device to young men.
1.make sure u know the background of the lady u wanna get involved with....there way of life etc
The mistake I made wasn't evaluating her background......we from completely different backgrounds....eg where she comes from people talking crazy and shouting at one another isn't a big deal but me it was a Taboo infact in my parent house u can't talk with high tones for normal discussions.

2.See forget love and looks......Make sure you know the main reason she wants to marry you.
I know she loves me but she had another motive which is am meant to give her everything she wants in Life....She had that mind set of her responsibilities is totally dependent on me.

She told me she can only spare or borrow me money towards doing anything in the house but is my duty to provide anything she wants even the riddicules ones.

3.For your peace of mind stay away from most ladies raised by single mothers because most her poison to hate men right from teens by there mother.
They are mostly insecure....they believe all men cheat and can never trust.
Comes with mad jealousy

They mostly have anger issue.... they will tell you I don't take shit... trying to show they are strong and can't take what there mother took despite you not doing any shit.....they want to have say in everything just to show you are equal.

They are always quick to be on the defensive
Just to mention a few

I once told my wife am not like your father when I couldn't take the policing, sneaking and threat anymore.

See as a man no one gives a shit about you..... people are sympathetic towards the female and expect you to take whatever she throws at you but you need your peace of mind.
The society has made it possible for women to get away with lot of things.

If you found a woman you want to marry please put love aside and get to really know her background well......cohabit with her for 6month......lastly even if you don't have money, please borrow and go for comprehensive medical check up with her.... (check your sperm count and the state of her womb) please.




take time to go through my post pls.. You will be fine though it might take time...
We've been there and believe me, it is not a pleasant experience at all.. You will loose everything including your sanity

7 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Nobody: 4:03pm On Jul 28, 2021
Pecoleee345:
l
Yea.....i messed up in that aspect..... Especially the background check and way of life.

The worst one was the medical check it was two years into marriage I found out she had weak womb due to abortion....

you will be fine bro, believe me.. Thank God you learnt early...

2 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Xilsbridalhouse(f): 4:04pm On Jul 28, 2021
pecoleee345

There are 3 sides to a story, yours, hers and the truth.

I have a feeling you are leaving her because of the test result. Perhaps you detested her afterwards and now making her look bad to everyone to justify your actions.

11 Likes 5 Shares

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Nobody: 4:05pm On Jul 28, 2021
[quote author=SmellySperm post=104177893][/quote]your dm Sha, the very hard truth of adulthood
Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Nobody: 4:06pm On Jul 28, 2021
Xilsbridalhouse:
pecoleee345

There are 3 sides to a story, yours, hers and the truth.

I have a feeling you are leaving her because of the test result. Perhaps you detested her afterwards and now making her look bad to everyone to justify your actions.


exactly, I don't believe everything he's been typing here,if he weren't a bad man he wouldn't have come across a bad woman as a wife.All he's been typing here are lies

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Nobody: 4:08pm On Jul 28, 2021
cry
Ishilove:
Op, nobody is perfect. Let he who is without sin be the first to cast the stone.

1 Like

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Hanibbal(m): 4:08pm On Jul 28, 2021
Rozcol:
Op is a liar, most Nigerian men are liars and manipulators.You all will be surprised if you hear the wife's side.

undecided

2 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Nobody: 4:08pm On Jul 28, 2021
Ishilove:
We oftentimes don't know what we have until we lose it.
ishi, in everything, our sanity matters..
You might be a special breed and a good one for your husband but majority can't be wrong all the time...
These type of conversation keep springing up everytime..
It's just like most women needs therapy to become sane...
I have moved on and am fine now, even better than most people can assume and I think the OP needs to do same...
As I dey read am, I dey vex Gan cos it brings back heart wrenching memories

30 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Xilsbridalhouse(f): 4:12pm On Jul 28, 2021
Rozcol:
exactly, I don't believe everything he's been typing here,if he weren't a bad man he wouldn't have come across a bad woman as a wife.All he's been typing here are lies
I suspect he could be a cheat too. You know these things brings out the beast in women.

5 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Nobody: 4:12pm On Jul 28, 2021
elay44:
Bro I only read stuff as a guest. this your post made me register on nairaland. I am in this same boat the, threats, jealousy, anger, no support financially,( I earn very well to take care of the family but it can be exhausting sometimes) etc. but we have Kids . I salute your courage bro. you need to be in this shoes to understand what this bro went through. you can comment and call names but you just can't understand. I feel you and I am very happy for you. thanks for speaking up and being an encouragement. a lot of men are going through shit all in the name of love. forget redplliers. we are not built to be violent, we geniuely care for people, that just how we are wired. but we are taken for granted and our nature taken for weakness.
I feel you sir, been there especially when you are an introvert, it becomes worse

6 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Dliquidmetal(m): 4:15pm On Jul 28, 2021
Visocrate:

Are you okay is everyone the same your girl is different and you may not get another one like her if you break up because of what you are reading here, every one has his own problem you want to spoil a relationship you cultivated over time because of one post
never have scarcity mindset bruh and I'm sure that guy has other reasons(because you cant just up and leave a profitable venture)he just needed this post to take his final decisions. Have abundance mindset,nothing like soulmate or even special one out there all na scam.

18 Likes

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by byinks(f): 4:15pm On Jul 28, 2021
Pecoleee345:
l
Yea.....i messed up in that aspect..... Especially the background check and way of life.

The worst one was the medical check it was two years into marriage I found out she had weak womb due to abortion....


Cervical incompetence ?

Don't leave her because of that, there are ways around that. See a good OBGYN.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Marriage Has Finally Crashed! by Nobody: 4:21pm On Jul 28, 2021
Rozcol:
She's your responsibility as wife and her primary duty is to give care and not provide, be a masculine man and not a man who feels relaxed watching his wife toil to help him share responsibility.
there are some of us that provides even to her underwear and still took pain in helping setting her up and what did we get in return?

20 Likes 2 Shares

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