Kobojunkie:
Single parents have a right to choose to suffer it alone. These choices are typically based on the circumstance so it is wrong to fault them for choosing to go it alone when it may have been the only option available to them.

Many of the women or men were abandoned or even rejected for choosing to raise the child by the other side. So how can you fault them for having to go it alone?

I like your perspective, you are intelligent

mariahAngel:
What inspired your signature?
Where did it come from?

Can't quite remember as this was from over 12 years ago when I used to be what some might have considered a professional "troll" in the Nairaland Politics section.

Kobojunkie:
Can't quite remember as this was from over 12 years ago when I used to be what some might have considered a professional "troll" in the Nairaland Politics section.

That long?

Ok. I relate (with the signature) because minorities are usually very aggressive with victim mentality.
There’s no point trying to reason with them for the sake of your peace and sanity.

mariahAngel:

That long?

Ok. I relate because minorities are usually very aggressive with victim mentality.
There’s no point trying to reason with them for the sake of your peace and sanity.

Yep, I used to be a regular feature until I left in 2012. I came back last year during the Covid-19 forced break and have stayed on since.

Kobojunkie:
Yep, I used to be a regular feature until I left in 2012. I came back last year during the Covid-19 forced break and have stayed on since.

Ok.

How is nairaland now compared to then?
I hear it’s not what it used to be...
How was it then?

Nairaland was kind of a mental haven for a lot of people during the lockdown.

mariahAngel:

Ok.
How is nairaland now compared to then?
I hear it’s not what it used to be...
How was it then?

Nairaland was kind of a mental haven for a lot of people during the lockdown.

Before the tribalist/racists arrived you mean, Nairaland Politics was a place to spend time sharpening ones mental on happenings around the world, particularly in Nigeria. People from different works of life and with different views sparred daily on topics and issues without grudge. It was an interesting place to be back then.

During the lockdown it was a needed escape since there was no where to go and nothing else on TV except news of Covid-19 killing the world.

Kobojunkie:
Can't quite remember as this was from over 12 years ago when I used to be what some might have considered a professional "troll" in the Nairaland Politics section.

Op Get a diary and document your activities; First step, try going to the Coca-Cola company where he worked,it will be easier for you now that you are a student, meet the manager, explain yourself and record the feedback.
If you can get information like his community and Local government of origin, then you can bring it up here, you don't need to travel to his village, people around that vicinity will do it for you,
You are on a right track, he is your dad no matter what had happened, you deserve to know him and have a talk even if you won't be part of his life.
Wishing you a fruitful search

Harrykn:
No matter how long it will take, a male child will always look for his father. Regardless of any amount of sacrifice, money and time, He will ask for his own father one day and you won’t do shit.

Blood is thicker than water is a very strong adage.
Every woman should know this and know peace.

I think your advice should be directed to deadbeat fathers

Doradorwa:
She always cut the discussion of me knowing him off. Sometimes she accuse me of been ungrateful. She's actually trying hard for me to have a good life. Sometimes I believe she just want to have all the glory to herself like single handedly raising me. I'm in my finals in EKSU now and she's already talking of Msc. She just want to have all the glory to herself. It's something she has done for so long that she can not think of stopping now.

She is Vain, Arrogant and Selfish (Apologies l have to state such facts, about your loving Mum).
In trying to sustain her bloated ego, she is psychologically traumatising you and depriving you of the love of a father.
That is the most selfish thing a Mother can do, to put SELF INTEREST over CHILD.

Of what benefit is it, to gain the whole World and lose one's Soul?

Start asking all the Nwafors you come across on FBook.
Make some friends at the Top Mgt level of Coca Cola in Benin and then tell them your Story, his Files might still be available there.

You will find him one day, if God tarries and you will experience a sense of fulfilment, just dont give up.


BTW: There is nothing wrong in having a relationship withhim, he is your father, your blood and your DNA, you are 50% him!

Kobojunkie:
Oh please cut the bull! What bond exists again between female children and their dad's? Africans too dey like twist nonsense into facts.

Stop making up stories because the lady says she misses her dad. Not every female out there who has been estranged from their fathers have the same pull to reconcile. There are equally so many documented cases of females who have found their missing past only to wish they has never done it. So, please stop lying to her.

You. you just go about sounding like you are some Encyclopedia that knows everything but you are full of BS. because you lack real life experience.
I can tell you for a fact that what that person said is correct, too many examples to reference.
Girl Child will always look for their dad and will love him no matter what anybody tells them about him, except if he is not interested in seeing her.
Ditto for Boy Child and their Mums too.
It is a natural affinity of "Unlike Poles Attract".

What happens after them meet, is a different thing entirely and does not invalifate that truism

What makes you think he would wanna reunite with you?

Why has he not made any effort to look for you all this while if he truly cares about you?
Do you even know if he's still alive?

I think some stones are best left unturned. ( My honest opinion)

Anyways, good luck in your search.

When people just concluded he never made effort to look for the child I marvel . Some women can take the child far away from you and Deny you access? Wetin u wan d man do? Kill himself... Abegiii

hmm... You are right but I'm not trying to be part of his life too, the both of us have gotten people we can call family over the years but I just believe I have the right to know him.

I love your thought but who told u he doesn't want u to be part of his life. Meet him first, u go hear unbelievable stuffs ur mom did to him.

Kobojunkie:
That is not a truth! That is only true in some cases. No need to generalize!

Are you fatherless?

Kobojunkie:
Oh please cut the bull! What bond exists again between female children and their dad's? Africans too dey like twist nonsense into facts.

Stop making up stories because the lady says she misses her dad. Not every female out there who has been estranged from their fathers have the same pull to reconcile. There are equally so many documented cases of females who have found their missing past only to wish they has never done it. So, please stop lying to her.

You are wrong too

Exceed15:
Are you fatherless?

What's wrong with being fatherless? Are the orphans out there less humans than those who have fathers boku or what?

Exceed15:
You are wrong too

Wrong about what exactly?

Kobojunkie:
What's wrong with being fatherless? Are the orphans out there less humans than those who have fathers boku or what?

u

Now I get you because your comment lacks wisdom.

Exceed15:
Now I get you because your comment lacks wisdom.

Look who's talking!

OnlyDeCapPlease:


My dear be gentle with your mum.

Whatever the reason for your dad not being in your life (your mum's fault or your dad's fault), it must have been an extremely traumatic experience for her. No well adjusted human being will want to have anything to do with any person, place or situation that gave them trauma and heartbreak in the past. It's self preservation. Tracing your dad is something that you might have to do by yourself, starting with where he worked and lived in Edo.

However, I must advice you to keep an open mind and thread carefully. So many people have idolised an absent mum or dad throughout their life, only to be bitterly disappointed and heartbroken with what they eventually discover.

Keep an open mind and accept whatever you see.

Best advice here

I understand your mum very well. The fear of loosing you to someone whom maybe abandoned her when she needed him most will be trauma for her seriously.


I won't say u should not look for your Dad.

But some puzzle are better left unsolved.

Don't do something you will later regret. You may also become threat to the family he has built along the line.

There's no picture attached o!