NLHoodlum:



Oga honestly you are saying nonsense
A grown up girl at 22 is staying with her aunt she learnt no trade, she has no job. do you know if she has something doing all these will not be happening??
if she attends school then she should stay at the hostel.
Saying a 22 year old girl can't stand up for herself is rubbish.
again how sure that's the whole story when you are reading one part of it??
lastly she is supposed to have friends who will have an Android phone that she can use to post her predicaments on facebook to the groups that can help her.
So sir, stop being bias biased

NLHoodlum:



Oga honestly you are saying nonsense
A grown up girl at 22 is staying with her aunt she learnt no trade, she has no job. do you know if she has something doing all these will not be happening??
if she attends school then she should stay at the hostel.
Saying a 22 year old girl can't stand up for herself is rubbish.
again how sure that's the whole story when you are reading one part of it??
lastly she is supposed to have friends who will have an Android phone that she can use to post her predicaments on facebook to the groups that can help her.
So sir, stop being bias

NLHoodlum:



Oga honestly you are saying nonsense
A grown up girl at 22 is staying with her aunt she learnt no trade, she has no job. do you know if she has something doing all these will not be happening??
if she attends school then she should stay at the hostel.
Saying a 22 year old girl can't stand up for herself is rubbish.
again how sure that's the whole story when you are reading one part of it??
lastly she is supposed to have friends who will have an Android phone that she can use to post her predicaments on facebook to the groups that can help her.
So sir, stop being bias

7thLemonLOVER:
what if she's an introvert, she may not have so much friends but I agree with you that a girl at 22 should have something doing and also be able to confront such situations with a shout except maybe she has been gaining something from it.
Only God knows

Kobojunkie:
Stop making up excuses for the inexcusable!

Is she an retard at that age that she can't stand up for herself? And the aunt... does this run in the family or something?

Kobojunkie:
The situation here is simple and it is the same no matter were you stage this on this planet. Two women tolerating rape from a man because of fear of what they might loose if they speak up or do something about the abuse. Fears aren't localized though the societal conditions of those homeless vary country to country. .

This 22-year old woman is probably afraid she might loose the only home she has..I.e. become homeless if she does something about her rape. The Aunt is probably afraid she might loose her marriage, bread winner, and home in this too.

You are here telling her she should record the rape as if it has never crossed her mind before now. She is 22 and so long as she is not mentally retarded can easily walk into a police station to report the rape. So many rape cases are processed in that same Nigeria daily without need for video evidence.

She has yet to do this means she is not ready to do what needs to be done. So the question again is, is she ready to see the abuse end or is she still comfortable in it.

Kobojunkie:
[s]Stop making up excuses for the inexcusable!
Is she an retard at that age that she can't stand up for herself? And the aunt... does this run in the family or something? [/s]

NLHoodlum:

[s]Oga honestly you are saying nonsense
A grown up girl at 22 is staying with her aunt she learnt no trade, she has no job. do you know if she has something doing all these will not be happening??
if she attends school then she should stay at the hostel.
Saying a 22 year old girl can't stand up for herself is rubbish.
again how sure that's the whole story when you are reading one part of it??
lastly she is supposed to have friends who will have an Android phone that she can use to post her predicaments on facebook to the groups that can help her.
So sir, stop being bias[/s]

Kobojunkie:
When I think of it, you are right that I do not understand homeless in the Nigerian context since what i have mostly known of it is how it is here.
But I refuse to make concessions for two grown women living in the same house blaming their woes on a man. Women, like men, are born capable of changing their situations should they desire to do so, even if it requires temporary discomfort of some kind, including homelessness. So the question remains, is this girl really interested in changing her situation or is she comfortable in it.
According to her, her aunt seems OK with it, but what about her?

If what she is afraid of is loosing whatever support she gets from the man in this - roof over over heads, food , etc., then maybe she she not ready for change. I mean if she reports the man, chances her she will have to face that loss anyways. So, she may be refusing to take action for just that reason.

Kobojunkie:
The situation here is simple and it is the same no matter were you stage this on this planet. Two women tolerating rape from a man because of fear of what they might loose if they speak up or do something about the abuse. Fears aren't localized though the societal conditions of those homeless vary country to country. .

This 22-year old woman is probably afraid she might loose the only home she has..I.e. become homeless if she does something about her rape. The Aunt is probably afraid she might loose her marriage, bread winner, and home in this too.

You are here telling her she should record the rape as if it has never crossed her mind before now. She is 22 and so long as she is not mentally retarded can easily walk into a police station to report the rape. So many rape cases are processed in that same Nigeria daily without need for video evidence.

She has yet to do this means she is not ready to do what needs to be done. So the question again is, is she ready to see the abuse end or is she still comfortable in it.

NLHoodlum:



Oga honestly you are saying nonsense
A grown up girl at 22 is staying with her aunt she learnt no trade, she has no job. do you know if she has something doing all these will not be happening??
if she attends school then she should stay at the hostel.
Saying a 22 year old girl can't stand up for herself is rubbish.
again how sure that's the whole story when you are reading one part of it??
lastly she is supposed to have friends who will have an Android phone that she can use to post her predicaments on facebook to the groups that can help her.
So sir, stop being bias

NLHoodlum:



Pure nonsense.
Where did you write it that she does all these??
A girl attending a University and she has not even a friend with a smart phone?? Then there is something she is not saying or you are not saying.
Must she wait for a shop before she starting a trade she knows about??
Blame rape victims?? You are very hilarious. We don't even know the full story at all.
For all I care I have seen a man beaten when he was accused of rape by a 20 year old girl and guess what?? Yes you guessed correctly, it was a lie. She did it to blackmail the man so stop your bias nonsense and dig deeper into the story, because if it is true she would have shouted out to draw attention while it's happening
My One Kobo

Klass99:


Chisos Steven

At 22 please where were you and what were you doing?

At 22, I was in my final year about to finish school and get set for the next chapter of my life....made possible only by good and responsible parents - remember this girl doesn't have parents.

At 22, I had no income generating skills or ability like I currently do. But, I had wonderful people willing to help, guide and educate me - she doesn't have any of that.

At 22, I was over the legal age for most things but still not grown nor mature, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and otherwise to tackle life properly. But, I had a good network of people to tap and learn from, as well as my own experiences to live and learn from - she doesn't have much of that.

At 22, I wasn't street smart the way I am today, neither did I have anyone making life miserable and traumatic for me via rape, but she does!

Are you seeing how a 22 year old can be helpless in a situation like this? Our life circumstances differ, so while a 22 year old Bukola may have it good or be in an enabling environment that will help her thrive, a 22 year old Aisha may not.

22 does not mean fully equipped to do all things and succeed.

@ Mmadu, I asked a former colleague about those organizations, will update when I hear back from her.

Stevenbright:



Klass99

All your points are valid.

But like you said, at 22 you were in school! That was the reason why I started with "is she in school"?

All my series of questions why based on two premise: Too available at home that is not gainfully engaged on something reason why the man have access to her when others are not around and two, if she is not schooling, she should get engaged on something and hence be able to save herself from a situation like this in due time.

NOTE:
Please don't compare yourself with her in the sense that your parents were available for you and hence you gradually followed the normal route but in her case, she is said to be an orphan. This should toughened her up and motivate her to be focus and hence get a bit independent as early as possible. You get it right?

Modified:

Klass99 please get in touch with the op and connect with the girl cos I believe you can be of great help to her.

Kirchoffs:
She is a student in NOUN, and she does small chops catering jobs by the side during the weekdays or whenever she's not going for lectures . But she told me the catering jobs only come once in a while .

An idle hand is the devil's workshop, She has been searching for work to no avail even if it's sales girl in order to earn more, it's very complicated sha, I once even advised her to defer her admission for a year at least so that she can be financially capable to handle it.

Laslas everything na money matter, as soon as I get to Lagos I'd be able to see what I can do. Thanks

Mmadu2:


1. Tell her to charge her phone very well.

2. Put it on silent.

3.Place her phone in a hidden place the man will never see it or suspect something and click the video record button. She can cover it with small carton in a manner that camera hole can still video everything.

4. Let her wisper to him that she wants it and she quickly moves to the location of the camera. He will come at her and start his usual business.

5. Let her send the video hard evidence to a sister or friend or upload it to a secure location online so she has a duplicate incase the man finds out later and destroy her phone.

6. With the video hard evidence she can destroy him and as well sue him and demand at least N5 million Naira in damages. SHE WILL CERTAINLY WIN THE CASE AND EVEN BECOME RICH AFTERWARDS

Acidosis:



Seriously?? I hope the plan is to present this "evidence" to a "baale" in the community, not a judge.


Try and play along and the case will die faster than Baba Ijesha's.

Klass99:


The comparison was to illustrate how helpless a 22 year old can feel or be, without support or a good network of people.

Of course I know she's orphaned I mentioned in my own response as well. I am far away from Lagos at the moment and being pulled in different directions it's a miracle I haven't lost my sanity .

Me, coming here is for comic and stress relief. I don't mean this thread specifically but NL as a whole.

Mmadu2:

That was always the sum total of your discuss, to find a way to blame it on her and ignore the primary perpetrator. If I let you go on you would even start lecturing me on how she initiated the sex, seduced the man and enjoyed the sex since she failed to report it.

Exact same mindset of a rapist. I don't need to waste further time with you.

Richy4:

My brother, maybe U should relax and let them tell U how the system work in Nigeria instead of arguing with them...
For me abroad homelessness is better than Nigerian homelessness. At least U can walk into a train station and take a free hot shower... There are toilets where a homeless person can relieve his or her self... If U are fortunate enough, some places offers soup kitchens where the homeless people can eat for free... It's not like that in Nigeria..

Coming to the issues of reporting the matters to the police, obviously, U have no idea how they might turn it against her... Either they blame her that she wanted it, she was putting on short skirts or that the Man refused the advances and she wanted to punish him by claiming rape.. it's a society where when U don't have money, U don't have a say or justice... Even as they were stepping into the station, they might be asked to bring money for the pen used in taking down her reports. It is a sorry nation..

They made the country in such a way that a 22yrs still feel incapacitated.. and still dependant.. it's not your fault that U don't understand it or get how a 22yr old will feel helpless.. I understand U totally...

InTheCloudySky:
You're both just really talking nonsense in this thread. Nonsense with a capital N.

Kirchoffs:
Mr man go and siddown one place. You are not in Nigeria stop saying this abeg, rape of an adult processed in Nigeria without evidence and money . please just mellow if you have nothing to say. Well we can never can tell perhaps you have an "Abba kyari" here in naija we can report the case to maybe he'd take it up from there, cos even in real life how do you convict someone without evidences to backup your claims

Kirchoffs:
Stand up for herself how?? If I may ask . Are you insinuating she fight off the man with blows and kick. You and I know it's almost impossible to do that

Kirchoffs:
Well you are right only God knows I hope to dig deep into the matter when I get to Lagos cos it's obvious that it's not a matter that can be talked over the phone