₦airaland Forum

Pls go 4 d introduction. U av already told them ur reservations n dey want to go ahead with it. Be happy 4 her and help her in any way u can. If not, u would just appear churlish n like u av a grudge against her. After all, ur not d one getting married.

Sometimes, we av to apply wisdom. My good friend had a guy who she wanted 2 get married to when she was 18yrs and in her second year. Her parents refused bluntly and in trying to scatter the plans, insulted the man and his family. He immediately withdrew and is now married to someone else. She is still unmarried and very bitter cos she really loved him. She moved out of her parents home and has never spoken to her folks since then. This is more than 6 yrs after.

If she is set on it, allow her, it is really her life. Whatever she makes of it is to her benefit or detriment. Now, just be happy 4 her.

19 is still quite young but then again everyone matures differently and want different things

since she seems adamant about it, i'd say allow her chance or lost at it. though, marriage isnt just one of those situations in life that allows you to just quickly walk-out when the fantasy is over.

as for the promise of furthering her education after marriage, she shouldnt be too naive to swallow up the promise.when you are married, the normally next step is having kids and the whole family life sets in, you feel overwhelmed, you focus changes and then school becomes less of a priority. going to school after marriage/kids isn't easy as it sounds, many have tried and not as many walked the walk on the graduation day.

it would have been much easier if she finished up before marriage, at least she will have something to fall back on just in case instead of relying on going after marriage.

and who really WANTS the marriage, her or the man?

If I get you perfectly this your sister was born in 1992 and one guy don dey eye am to marry?

They've only dated for 5 months? It seems short to me, I mean, for a 19 yrs old girl. I suppose this is her first relationship? She must be in the "butterflies" mood all the time and can't wait to be allowed to spend 24/24 with the man she loves. That's very understandable, but a bit risky.

Anyway, I think it is your parents' duty to warn her about that, that the feelings she is feeling now are those of the novelty, it will be a whole different things after a couple of yrs, especially if she has nothing to do with her life. But since your parents seem to agree with the wedding, you should talk to her. Find the right time and explain to her gently that you are worried about her decision because of her age, the youth of their relationship, her lack of education and the big commitment that is a marriage. Don't tell her that she is doing something bad, just let her know what your concerns are. Then tell her that the final decision lays in her hands and that you'd just follow the flow.

That way, you show her respect (she might want to get married to get a "higher" status, feeling like a grown up woman) and you also make sure that she listens to what you are saying. If she still wants to go ahead with the wedding, be there and share her joy. Once she ties the knot, this is no longer your business but hers. She's the one who will have to face the consequences of her decision, whether good or bad.

By the way, does she think that she will loose her boyfriend if she asks him to wait for one or two more years? Does she really think that she'd be more able to keep him to herself once they are married?

@OP, THERE WILL BE NO 'iku aka n'uzo' IF YOUR PARENTS HAVE NOT GIVEN THEIR BLESSING. So, FOR HIM TO BE COMING MEANS THEY HAVE AGREED. SO, WAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.

@OP, THERE WILL BE NO 'iku aka n'uzo' IF YOUR PARENTS HAVE NOT GIVEN THEIR BLESSING. So, FOR HIM TO BE COMING MEANS THEY HAVE AGREED. SO, WAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE DE ONLY ONE AGAINST IT.

@OP, THERE WILL BE NO 'iku aka n'uzo' IF YOUR PARENTS HAVE NOT GIVEN THEIR BLESSING. So, FOR HIM TO BE COMING MEANS THEY HAVE AGREED. SO, WAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE DE ONLY ONE AGAINST IT.

Wislet:
@OP, THERE WILL BE NO 'iku aka n'uzo' IF YOUR PARENTS HAVE NOT GIVEN THEIR BLESSING. So, FOR HIM TO BE COMING MEANS THEY HAVE AGREED. SO, WAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE DE ONLY ONE AGAINST IT.

I might as well be the only one with farsight, as long as this issue is concerned.
This may look positive now, but, who are we talking about? 19teen yr-old girl? Nah! She is just a teenager. She struggling with mere feelings.

I know about this kind of whirl wind romance, i pray it doesnt follow the usual course. She is too young and immatured but there is nothing you can do about it. I hope your family is not agreeing to this cos of money? a girl at 19 should still be in her early tertiary education and so dependent, she is probably infatuated and not in love, when responsibilty of marriage dawns on her she would run back but by then it would be very late.

samtoye:
I know about this kind of whirl wind romance, i pray it doesnt follow the usual course. She is too young and immatured but there is nothing you can do about it. I hope your family is not agreeing to this cos of money? a girl at 19 should still be in her early tertiary education and so dependent, she is probably infatuated and not in love, when responsibilty of marriage dawns on her she would run back but by then it would be very late.

this is my fear. But I pray and hope it doesn't happen.

There is no guarantee that it would or would not last. There are a number of people that got married that early even earlier and are still enjoying their marriage. A lot of our mothers got married even earlier and are still having a great marriage. 19 years is not too early 2 av kids afterall, age is but a number. As long as she feels ready for the challenges of marriage, no wahala.

blank:
There is no guarantee that it would or would not last. There are a number of people that got married that early even earlier and are still enjoying their marriage. A lot of our mothers got married even earlier and are still having a great marriage. 19 years is not too early 2 av kids afterall, age is but a number. As long as she feels ready for the challenges of marriage, no wahala.

I don't think that statement in bold is correct, when the issue is marriage.