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Moments Of Humor - Literature - Nairaland

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Moments Of Humor by tonysunkan(m): 4:01pm On Sep 18
Moments of Humor



Tony Sunkan



A compilation of exotic jokes


2021



Note: These jokes are from different sources.







WELCOME TO THE NEW WORLD

• Our Phones – Wireless
• Cooking – Fireless
• Cars – Keyless
• Food – Fatless
• Tires –Tubeless
• Dress – Sleeveless
• Youth – Jobless
• Leaders – Shameless
• Relationships – Meaningless
• Attitudes – Careless
• Babies – Fatherless
• Feelings – Heartless
• Education – Valueless
• Children – Mannerless
• Country – Godless
Even the government is sometimes CLUELESS

Now, I am SPEECHLESS!


Moments of Humor: https://okadabooks.com/book/about/moments-of-humor/44524

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Re: Moments Of Humor by tonysunkan(m): 6:35am On Sep 19
In a convent in Ireland, the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying. The Nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable.

They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it.

One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior's bed, they held the glass to her lips. The frail Nun drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had finished the whole glass down to the last drop.

As her eyes brightened, the nuns thought it would be a good opportunity to have one last talk with their spiritual leader...

"Mother," the nuns asked earnestly, "Please give us some of your wisdom before you leave us"

She raised herself up in bed on one elbow, looked at them and said:

"DON'T SELL THAT COW."

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Re: Moments Of Humor by ThrillPlus: 3:49pm On Sep 20
Following
Re: Moments Of Humor by tonysunkan(m): 8:46pm On Sep 24
Kenny Rodgers robs a bank. As he is making a getaway, the cops starting chasing him. He is able to almost lose them when he hits a bump and a wheel comes off the truck.

He crashes and of course is busted by the cops. As he is being lead away, he looks at the tire and starts singing "you picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel!"


*. * . *

A Cute Little Love Story Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.

Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?" Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies, "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit their nicely."

Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay, then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."

Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance, Jenny makes five bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, so that should do us just fine." Mr. Smith is impressed Bruce has put so much thought into this. "Well Bruce, it seems like you have everything figured out.

"I just have one more question. What will you do if the two of you should have little children of your own?" Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far."

(Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little shit is adorable.)


Moments of Humor: https://okadabooks.com/book/about/moments-of-humor/44524

1 Like

Re: Moments Of Humor by SeyiDominion: 11:05am On Sep 25
Keep it up
Re: Moments Of Humor by tonysunkan(m): 4:34pm On Sep 26
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord grant me one wish."

Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me."

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?"
Re: Moments Of Humor by tonysunkan(m): 1:22pm On Oct 02
Husband Shopping Center

A "Husband Shopping Center" was opened where women could go to choose -- from among many men -- a husband. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as one ascended up the floors.

The only rule was, once a woman opened the door to any floor, she must choose a man from that floor and, if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place.

A couple of girl friends go to the place to find men. At the first floor, the door had a sign reading: "These men have jobs and love kids."

The women read the sign and say, "Well that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they go.

The sign on the second floor reads: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking."

"Hmmm," say the girls, "but, I wonder what's further up?"

The third floor sign reads: "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework."

"Wow!" say the women. "Very tempting, BUT, there's more further up!" And so again, they go up.

The fourth floor sign reads: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak."

"Oh, mercy me," say the women, "but just think! What could be waiting for us on the top floor!"

So up to the Fifth floor they go -- and the sign on that door said: "This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping, and have nice day."




Moments of Humor: https://okadabooks.com/book/about/moments-of-humor/44524
Re: Moments Of Humor by BigBasher: 8:40pm On Oct 05
Nice ones

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