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Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by hahn(m): 3:56pm On Sep 26, 2021
jagorinho:


Governor Mattawale abi Shatawale, give this guy some Zamfara Gold.

No play bro. I need am like mad cry
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Timmyik: 4:08pm On Sep 26, 2021
HRHQueenPhil:
grin wink cheesy wink wink
Sounds like a real story
Teaching adults can be difficult
you have done it all
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Rotji(m): 4:12pm On Sep 26, 2021
Lindner:
Long story!!

In an interview, I was asked to narrate a really tensed sitiation and how I navigated it.

I remembered my NYSC days, I lived inside Letmauck Cantonement, Mokola Barracks, Ibadan. Year was 2008.

The wife of an Army Officer( a Major) hired me to tutor their three young kids after school. Unknown to me, it was the woman that needed tutoring on how to read English(she couldn't read nor write). She spoke only pidgin.

We agreed the fees (weekly), and I started. She would later open up to me that she needed tutoring as well. For a relatively long time, I didnt meet the Major himself. I would have left before he returned from work. I was a teacher at St Luis Grammar school just behind the barracks.

Long story short, I started teaching the woman too after she increased my weekly fee. But I noticed the woman would rather gist with me than learn. Being a student of emotional intelligence myself, I reckoned she needed someone to gist with in that ghostly environment like the Officer's Quaters. A full time house wife and in that environment. The other end of the barrack where soldiers ans corpers live was more fun and populated . As long as I was paid, we would gist all afternoon. We soon became friends. I even stopped teaching the kids. They were super sharp, intelligent, restless and troublesome. But every Friday, she never missed my payment.

One faithful Friday afternoon, the Major came home early, that was the first time I ever saw his face. I rightly assumed all the money I was being handsomely paid came from him since the wife was a full house wife.

I stood up to greet him but I couldn't tell if he was angry, sad or just being his military self. He didn't bother to respond, he just went upstairs. His wife followed him immediately.

After about 15 minutes, he came back to join me. He asked how much I was being paid, I told him. He asked if his wife mentioned why she needed to learn how to read, I told him I assumed it was for self improvement. Meanwhile, I had been collecting money weekly for several weeks and this woman could not read jack. We would rather chat, gist and laugh.

The Major went to the TV area and gave me a card, it was their wedding invitation card in 2 weeks time. He mentioned that they never got married before the kids. In short, at the wedding, the woman would be required to read a long vow or something like that. It was a Methodist or Anglican church along Bodija.

He said, given his status both in the church and in the army, he must not be embarrassed by his wife's inability to read. That was the whole reason for the lesson that we turned into chatting sessions. He said it was mandatory that I attended to witness the result of my tutoring. The whole conversion lasted for about 10 minutes and it sounded more like subtle threats and one man trying to dominate another man.

How did the woman not mention her wedding and the real reason she was learning how to read? How could I make her read in two weeks? Should we just memorize the whole text of the program? My mind started racing. I lived at the other end of the barracks, the Major knows where I worked as well. No way I could escape. I had collected a lot of money already and I was 100% certain he would be embarrassed on that day.

I did what I could in two weeks. Attending the wedding for me was like a cow going to the slaughter. My heart was pounding and was literally in my mouth. I knew the woman could not still read even after practicing the texts many times.

It was a beautiful military wedding. I sat at the back, then two guys came and said something like "O boy, oga say make we sit beside you". Which oga? They said "Major". I knew I was in deep shit. Prior to that time, a corper colleague had to be locked up in the guard room for dating a soldier's sister. Ordinary soldier. This was a Major about to be embarrassed in front of his friends, colleagues, juniors and church members. Of course, he wouldn't beat his wife, I figured I would carry all the blame and possibly return every penny I collected.

Sitting through the wedding was the most tensed period of my entire adult life. Gruelling 3 hours!. Second was waiting for my HIV test result. Of course, she fumbled, woefully at that. It was a disaster. That moment you want to hide under the seat. The officiating minster had to take charge of the situation to save face. I'm sure he wasn't aware.

As they where matching out of the church through the guards or what do they call them. Those guys that carry sticks and couples pass under them. I was seriously looking at the Major's face. His facial expression would inform me of my likely fate. His face was always expressionless but today, it was important to read those expressions so as to know my next line of action. Either to pick the next available bus back to my state and never return or something like that. But again, there's the problem of the soldiers beside me.

Conclusion.

The Major didn't have my time on that day, I guess he was occupied with the guests and all. I got lost in the crowd but never returned home directly. I slept at a colleagues room like 10 blocks away from ours. I could remember, ours was block 36 Engineering block. The soldiers sent to sit next to me also probably didn't know the reason and we all dispersed. My room mate and other corper colleagues that knew the background were waiting for the full gist of what happened. That night, I was waiting for that "gulf 3" visit. Gulf car was reigning at the time. They used gulf to pick you up to treat unofficial f**k ups.

The next day, I received a call from the Major's wife to come down to the Officer's Quarters. She didn't thank me for attending the wedding or for my tutoring or say anything that I could draw conclusions on about the mood of the situation. I was too paralysed to even congratulate her. Why would she be the one to call me given what happened at the wedding? I had heard all sorts of stories about what happens in the guard room, true or untrue, I never wanted to experience any of it. I put myself in the Major's shoes. No man should experience what he passed though in those few minutes at the altar. The Church became very quiet. Some people could not even look up.

Approaching the building, I saw the Major and one of the soldiers from yesterday and behold, the Gulf car!!.

I went straight down on my knees and then on my chest, flat on the floor in public view. My colleague had told me that was the only way I could lessen my punishment. But the Officer's Quaters was too quiet and lonely to gain any public pity and possibly help. The Major looked confused. I started apologizing and promised to even refund him. His kids (2 boys, 1 girl) started laughing.

The wife came out laughing as well, but in her hands was what I would later find out to be cake wrapped in those aluminium foils for me. The Major and the soldier just looked at me as if I was less of a man, rolling on the floor without even being accused of anything yet. Apparently, the Gulf car belonged to the soldier. The poor man was not even angry at me. I died multiple times throughout the night thinking about what evil was about to befall me. But all was just in my mind.

The wife would later tell me that she warned her husband before the Wedding not to waste his money on tutoring her. She felt she was hopeless at education.






grin grin I was almost believing this story until the part where 2 soldiers were sent to seat with you between them grin grin grin
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by alexola20(m): 4:39pm On Sep 26, 2021
@Lindner,don’t mind those doubting thomases.
Some or many of my true life stories,sometimes to me look or sound unbelievable but they are all true to the core.Places,dates and events stil in my head.

When sometimes I tell my stories or give emphasis,people will say “ah you always have some stories to tell”.
But you know I don’t really know how to lie and 99.9% of the stories I tell are all true.
embarassed embarassedman don see for this life o.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Osanoghodua1: 5:02pm On Sep 26, 2021
When I was in SS2 or SS1, I was sent to teach my half elder sister who couldn't read and write. She was promoted to Jss1 out of pity.

After teaching her for a while
I advised the elder brother to stop wasting his money, that only a divine power could open her brain. Till date she can't read. No one believed me. There is no one I can't teach.
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Gfskw: 5:56pm On Sep 26, 2021
Really
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by bukatyne(f): 6:12pm On Sep 26, 2021
jelel6:
I wonder why you were so afraid?

Begging, trowing yourself on the floor without being charged is pathetic. At least, wait till your accuser is being unreasonable before you start trading whatever is left of your dignity.

I can only imagine what positives, if any, your interviewers can see in your handling of the situation.

The OP has shown good emotional intelligence and ability to deescalate situations.

Who knows if the Major was thinking of 'dealing' with him beforehand?

Humility is a virtue.

The OP did not leave his chest on the floor nor did it stop him from getting his masters/or any other achievements he has thereafter.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by kenoyad: 6:26pm On Sep 26, 2021
[quote author=engrfaruq post=106164428]Fiction[/quo
If it's fiction , it really worth reading.
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by brownemmanuel43(m): 6:43pm On Sep 26, 2021
Lindner:


This is absolutely no fiction. Thank God the interviewers didn't feel this way. They had my CV and saw where I served. I later went on to do my masters at the University of Ibadan. Anyway, I have no control over what you choose to believe. Just my little frightening experience.
Whether fiction or non fiction bcs of 5his your story I hereby follow u on Nairaland. Actually I don't follow nuisance on Nairaland but I must confess that u are gifted in writing and I believe u are earning money in writing if not better check yourself.
Mehnnnnn u are damn good abeg

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Kennyprince: 7:02pm On Sep 26, 2021
This is a good writer, i must say
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by lecxis: 7:21pm On Sep 26, 2021
Lindner:
Long story!!

In an interview, I was asked to narrate a really tensed sitiation and how I navigated it.

I remembered my NYSC days, I lived inside Letmauck Cantonement, Mokola Barracks, Ibadan. Year was 2008.

The wife of an Army Officer( a Major) hired me to tutor their three young kids after school. Unknown to me, it was the woman that needed tutoring on how to read English(she couldn't read nor write). She spoke only pidgin.

We agreed the fees (weekly), and I started. She would later open up to me that she needed tutoring as well. For a relatively long time, I didnt meet the Major himself. I would have left before he returned from work. I was a teacher at St Luis Grammar school just behind the barracks.

Long story short, I started teaching the woman too after she increased my weekly fee. But I noticed the woman would rather gist with me than learn. Being a student of emotional intelligence myself, I reckoned she needed someone to gist with in that ghostly environment like the Officer's Quaters. A full time house wife and in that environment. The other end of the barrack where soldiers ans corpers live was more fun and populated . As long as I was paid, we would gist all afternoon. We soon became friends. I even stopped teaching the kids. They were super sharp, intelligent, restless and troublesome. But every Friday, she never missed my payment.

One faithful Friday afternoon, the Major came home early, that was the first time I ever saw his face. I rightly assumed all the money I was being handsomely paid came from him since the wife was a full house wife.

I stood up to greet him but I couldn't tell if he was angry, sad or just being his military self. He didn't bother to respond, he just went upstairs. His wife followed him immediately.

After about 15 minutes, he came back to join me. He asked how much I was being paid, I told him. He asked if his wife mentioned why she needed to learn how to read, I told him I assumed it was for self improvement. Meanwhile, I had been collecting money weekly for several weeks and this woman could not read jack. We would rather chat, gist and laugh.

The Major went to the TV area and gave me a card, it was their wedding invitation card in 2 weeks time. He mentioned that they never got married before the kids. In short, at the wedding, the woman would be required to read a long vow or something like that. It was a Methodist or Anglican church along Bodija.

He said, given his status both in the church and in the army, he must not be embarrassed by his wife's inability to read. That was the whole reason for the lesson that we turned into chatting sessions. He said it was mandatory that I attended to witness the result of my tutoring. The whole conversion lasted for about 10 minutes and it sounded more like subtle threats and one man trying to dominate another man.

How did the woman not mention her wedding and the real reason she was learning how to read? How could I make her read in two weeks? Should we just memorize the whole text of the program? My mind started racing. I lived at the other end of the barracks, the Major knows where I worked as well. No way I could escape. I had collected a lot of money already and I was 100% certain he would be embarrassed on that day.

I did what I could in two weeks. Attending the wedding for me was like a cow going to the slaughter. My heart was pounding and was literally in my mouth. I knew the woman could not still read even after practicing the texts many times.

It was a beautiful military wedding. I sat at the back, then two guys came and said something like "O boy, oga say make we sit beside you". Which oga? They said "Major". I knew I was in deep shit. Prior to that time, a corper colleague had to be locked up in the guard room for dating a soldier's sister. Ordinary soldier. This was a Major about to be embarrassed in front of his friends, colleagues, juniors and church members. Of course, he wouldn't beat his wife, I figured I would carry all the blame and possibly return every penny I collected.

Sitting through the wedding was the most tensed period of my entire adult life. Gruelling 3 hours!. Second was waiting for my HIV test result. Of course, she fumbled, woefully at that. It was a disaster. That moment you want to hide under the seat. The officiating minster had to take charge of the situation to save face. I'm sure he wasn't aware.

As they where matching out of the church through the guards or what do they call them. Those guys that carry sticks and couples pass under them. I was seriously looking at the Major's face. His facial expression would inform me of my likely fate. His face was always expressionless but today, it was important to read those expressions so as to know my next line of action. Either to pick the next available bus back to my state and never return or something like that. But again, there's the problem of the soldiers beside me.

Conclusion.

The Major didn't have my time on that day, I guess he was occupied with the guests and all. I got lost in the crowd but never returned home directly. I slept at a colleagues room like 10 blocks away from ours. I could remember, ours was block 36 Engineering block. The soldiers sent to sit next to me also probably didn't know the reason and we all dispersed. My room mate and other corper colleagues that knew the background were waiting for the full gist of what happened. That night, I was waiting for that "gulf 3" visit. Gulf car was reigning at the time. They used gulf to pick you up to treat unofficial f**k ups.

The next day, I received a call from the Major's wife to come down to the Officer's Quarters. She didn't thank me for attending the wedding or for my tutoring or say anything that I could draw conclusions on about the mood of the situation. I was too paralysed to even congratulate her. Why would she be the one to call me given what happened at the wedding? I had heard all sorts of stories about what happens in the guard room, true or untrue, I never wanted to experience any of it. I put myself in the Major's shoes. No man should experience what he passed though in those few minutes at the altar. The Church became very quiet. Some people could not even look up.

Approaching the building, I saw the Major and one of the soldiers from yesterday and behold, the Gulf car!!.

I went straight down on my knees and then on my chest, flat on the floor in public view. My colleague had told me that was the only way I could lessen my punishment. But the Officer's Quaters was too quiet and lonely to gain any public pity and possibly help. The Major looked confused. I started apologizing and promised to even refund him. His kids (2 boys, 1 girl) started laughing.

The wife came out laughing as well, but in her hands was what I would later find out to be cake wrapped in those aluminium foils for me. The Major and the soldier just looked at me as if I was less of a man, rolling on the floor without even being accused of anything yet. Apparently, the Gulf car belonged to the soldier. The poor man was not even angry at me. I died multiple times throughout the night thinking about what evil was about to befall me. But all was just in my mind.

The wife would later tell me that she warned her husband before the Wedding not to waste his money on tutoring her. She felt she was hopeless at education.





One of, if not the Most interesting piece I have read on nairaland. I hope it's real.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by armyofone(m): 7:53pm On Sep 26, 2021
I wonder who planted those trees on the routes in that area...maybe it used to be occupied by the expatriates and British colonists?

Very nicely done routes - those weeping willow trees and cedar trees are lovely. Not sure if those are the names but they look same.

@ story

My heart was like thump... thump... thump grin thinking the OP slept with the major's wife and got a good naija military beating. The original boots kicking.

Good it was all about teaching and no f**k up.

Lindner:


Many times, I would walk the whole length of that road just to clear my head. I loved the serenity and the shade provided by the many trees along that route made it enjoyable.

As for babes, barrack girls were too wild for me. Just too unrefined, the really good ones were borderline prostitutes. I hope to share some of the strangest experiences with barrack girls some of these days.
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by gazza07(m): 8:01pm On Sep 26, 2021
A very good storyline. Impressive, you should contact yul edochie to make it a movie
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by enemyofprogress: 8:51pm On Sep 26, 2021
Story for the gods
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Rexymania(m): 9:56pm On Sep 26, 2021
You're a confirm reader. You have read lots of books. Keep it up
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Elhabeeb1(m): 12:49am On Sep 27, 2021
Lindner:
Long story!!

In an interview, I was asked to narrate a really tensed sitiation and how I navigated it.

I remembered my NYSC days, I lived inside Letmauck Cantonement, Mokola Barracks, Ibadan. Year was 2008.

The wife of an Army Officer( a Major) hired me to tutor their three young kids after school. Unknown to me, it was the woman that needed tutoring on how to read English(she couldn't read nor write). She spoke only pidgin.

We agreed the fees (weekly), and I started. She would later open up to me that she needed tutoring as well. For a relatively long time, I didnt meet the Major himself. I would have left before he returned from work. I was a teacher at St Luis Grammar school just behind the barracks.

Long story short, I started teaching the woman too after she increased my weekly fee. But I noticed the woman would rather gist with me than learn. Being a student of emotional intelligence myself, I reckoned she needed someone to gist with in that ghostly environment like the Officer's Quaters. A full time house wife and in that environment. The other end of the barrack where soldiers ans corpers live was more fun and populated . As long as I was paid, we would gist all afternoon. We soon became friends. I even stopped teaching the kids. They were super sharp, intelligent, restless and troublesome. But every Friday, she never missed my payment.

One faithful Friday afternoon, the Major came home early, that was the first time I ever saw his face. I rightly assumed all the money I was being handsomely paid came from him since the wife was a full house wife.

I stood up to greet him but I couldn't tell if he was angry, sad or just being his military self. He didn't bother to respond, he just went upstairs. His wife followed him immediately.

After about 15 minutes, he came back to join me. He asked how much I was being paid, I told him. He asked if his wife mentioned why she needed to learn how to read, I told him I assumed it was for self improvement. Meanwhile, I had been collecting money weekly for several weeks and this woman could not read jack. We would rather chat, gist and laugh.

The Major went to the TV area and gave me a card, it was their wedding invitation card in 2 weeks time. He mentioned that they never got married before the kids. In short, at the wedding, the woman would be required to read a long vow or something like that. It was a Methodist or Anglican church along Bodija.

He said, given his status both in the church and in the army, he must not be embarrassed by his wife's inability to read. That was the whole reason for the lesson that we turned into chatting sessions. He said it was mandatory that I attended to witness the result of my tutoring. The whole conversion lasted for about 10 minutes and it sounded more like subtle threats and one man trying to dominate another man.

How did the woman not mention her wedding and the real reason she was learning how to read? How could I make her read in two weeks? Should we just memorize the whole text of the program? My mind started racing. I lived at the other end of the barracks, the Major knows where I worked as well. No way I could escape. I had collected a lot of money already and I was 100% certain he would be embarrassed on that day.

I did what I could in two weeks. Attending the wedding for me was like a cow going to the slaughter. My heart was pounding and was literally in my mouth. I knew the woman could not still read even after practicing the texts many times.

It was a beautiful military wedding. I sat at the back, then two guys came and said something like "O boy, oga say make we sit beside you". Which oga? They said "Major". I knew I was in deep shit. Prior to that time, a corper colleague had to be locked up in the guard room for dating a soldier's sister. Ordinary soldier. This was a Major about to be embarrassed in front of his friends, colleagues, juniors and church members. Of course, he wouldn't beat his wife, I figured I would carry all the blame and possibly return every penny I collected.

Sitting through the wedding was the most tensed period of my entire adult life. Gruelling 3 hours!. Second was waiting for my HIV test result. Of course, she fumbled, woefully at that. It was a disaster. That moment you want to hide under the seat. The officiating minster had to take charge of the situation to save face. I'm sure he wasn't aware.

As they where matching out of the church through the guards or what do they call them. Those guys that carry sticks and couples pass under them. I was seriously looking at the Major's face. His facial expression would inform me of my likely fate. His face was always expressionless but today, it was important to read those expressions so as to know my next line of action. Either to pick the next available bus back to my state and never return or something like that. But again, there's the problem of the soldiers beside me.

Conclusion.

The Major didn't have my time on that day, I guess he was occupied with the guests and all. I got lost in the crowd but never returned home directly. I slept at a colleagues room like 10 blocks away from ours. I could remember, ours was block 36 Engineering block. The soldiers sent to sit next to me also probably didn't know the reason and we all dispersed. My room mate and other corper colleagues that knew the background were waiting for the full gist of what happened. That night, I was waiting for that "gulf 3" visit. Gulf car was reigning at the time. They used gulf to pick you up to treat unofficial f**k ups.

The next day, I received a call from the Major's wife to come down to the Officer's Quarters. She didn't thank me for attending the wedding or for my tutoring or say anything that I could draw conclusions on about the mood of the situation. I was too paralysed to even congratulate her. Why would she be the one to call me given what happened at the wedding? I had heard all sorts of stories about what happens in the guard room, true or untrue, I never wanted to experience any of it. I put myself in the Major's shoes. No man should experience what he passed though in those few minutes at the altar. The Church became very quiet. Some people could not even look up.

Approaching the building, I saw the Major and one of the soldiers from yesterday and behold, the Gulf car!!.

I went straight down on my knees and then on my chest, flat on the floor in public view. My colleague had told me that was the only way I could lessen my punishment. But the Officer's Quaters was too quiet and lonely to gain any public pity and possibly help. The Major looked confused. I started apologizing and promised to even refund him. His kids (2 boys, 1 girl) started laughing.

The wife came out laughing as well, but in her hands was what I would later find out to be cake wrapped in those aluminium foils for me. The Major and the soldier just looked at me as if I was less of a man, rolling on the floor without even being accused of anything yet. Apparently, the Gulf car belonged to the soldier. The poor man was not even angry at me. I died multiple times throughout the night thinking about what evil was about to befall me. But all was just in my mind.

The wife would later tell me that she warned her husband before the Wedding not to waste his money on tutoring her. She felt she was hopeless at education.

One of the best I have read so far.





Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by jelel6: 1:01am On Sep 27, 2021
bukatyne:


The OP has shown good emotional intelligence and ability to deescalate situations.

Who knows if the Major was thinking of 'dealing' with him beforehand?

Humility is a virtue.

The OP did not leave his chest on the floor nor did it stop him from getting his masters/or any other achievements he has thereafter.

I wonder the correlation between the point of him standing on his feet
in this very incident and what your last paragraph is all about? Apple and oranges.


And nah, if that's what humility entails, I'll pass.

According to the Op, even the men didn't find him to be humble. More like pitiable. And that's humiliating.
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by ArcFresky(m): 8:41am On Sep 27, 2021
joinnow:

Palava you dey find
Palava you get oooooo

Don't quote the whole text
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by VULCAN(m): 8:44am On Sep 27, 2021
Just imagine what this nitpicker drew from this engaging tale.

There are so many lessons about life one can draw from this story but this narrow minded judgemental fellow only saw what to condemn.

My prayer for him is that may he never enjoy what he isn't fully qualified for.

I hope he will say amen. Because that is the gospel he is preaching.

Thank God he is not God who picks anybody He likes to get things.

One of the lessons that one can learn from this fantastic story is never lose focus when you are given a task as if he had remained focused and not allowed the woman to turn him into gisting machine he would not have felt so terrified when he was given two weeks more to deliver as she might have learnt the basics by then.


Coly2012:
This is the problem of our education system,we think everybody can teach and every graduate is a teacher.even all teachers are not qualified to teach every category of students/learner's...
The husband and you failed to do the first principal of adult Education, which is NEED ASSESSMENT, assessment of an adult learner's need is an half way of solving the learner's need. The womans need was not how to read so she can't go through that learning process which puts your little effort in frutility.
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Sambab(m): 9:19am On Sep 27, 2021
I really enjoyed your pathetic story... Though it was very funny as I was reading it.
God saved you. Mind you, work for the purpose of whatever you have been paid for next time
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Frankwest77(m): 12:11pm On Sep 27, 2021
Manshot1:


Are you a soldier bro?and do you serve in Ibadan?I'll love to be friends with soldiers you know if you don't mind



No, I'm not but my Dad is! Soldiers are actually fun if you meet sensible ones
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by dayosina: 12:37pm On Sep 27, 2021
Fiction or not, the write up made a very good read. Nice one!
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Coly2012(m): 3:50pm On Sep 27, 2021
VULCAN:
Just imagine what this nitpicker drew from this engaging tale.

There are so many lessons about life one can draw from this story but this narrow minded judgemental fellow only saw what to condemn.

My prayer for him is that may he never enjoy what he isn't fully qualified for.

I hope he will say amen. Because that is the gospel he is preaching.

Thank God he is not God who picks anybody He likes to get things.

One of the lessons that one can learn from this fantastic story is never lose focus when you are given a task as if he had remained focused and not allowed the woman to turn him into gisting machine he would not have felt so terrified when he was given two weeks more to deliver as she might have learnt the basics by then.


most one speak from your point of view? You are a shallow thinker and an enemy of good education system. Am talking from an accedemy perspective you are here talking about tales by moon light. My brother learn to use your head and respect your young aga.
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Yaks02(m): 12:05am On Sep 28, 2021
Lindner:


I wish you would truly believe me. I could have mentioned the Major's name but that would not be nice. But the name of the GOC at the barracks at the time was Brigadier General Chukwu. Any corper or soldier who lived at Lemauck Cantonement between 2008 or 2009 reading this could confirm this. Corpers occupied 130 rooms in the barrack so we were quite many. I don't know about now.

This is the funniest thing I've ever read on nairaland so far..... It seems fictional from the beginning but I had to believe u after u confirmed it to be true
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Poleski: 1:34am On Sep 28, 2021
Fiction!!!!!!!!!
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by bymigokeph: 9:16am On Sep 28, 2021
[color=#000099][/color]
Lindner:
Long story!!

In an interview, I was asked to narrate a really tensed sitiation and how I navigated it.

I remembered my NYSC days, I lived inside Letmauck Cantonement, Mokola Barracks, Ibadan. Year was 2008.

The wife of an Army Officer( a Major) hired me to tutor their three young kids after school. Unknown to me, it was the woman that needed tutoring on how to read English(she couldn't read nor write). She spoke only pidgin.

We agreed the fees (weekly), and I started. She would later open up to me that she needed tutoring as well. For a relatively long time, I didnt meet the Major himself. I would have left before he returned from work. I was a teacher at St Luis Grammar school just behind the barracks.

Long story short, I started teaching the woman too after she increased my weekly fee. But I noticed the woman would rather gist with me than learn. Being a student of emotional intelligence myself, I reckoned she needed someone to gist with in that ghostly environment like the Officer's Quaters. A full time house wife and in that environment. The other end of the barrack where soldiers ans corpers live was more fun and populated . As long as I was paid, we would gist all afternoon. We soon became friends. I even stopped teaching the kids. They were super sharp, intelligent, restless and troublesome. But every Friday, she never missed my payment.

One faithful Friday afternoon, the Major came home early, that was the first time I ever saw his face. I rightly assumed all the money I was being handsomely paid came from him since the wife was a full house wife.

I stood up to greet him but I couldn't tell if he was angry, sad or just being his military self. He didn't bother to respond, he just went upstairs. His wife followed him immediately.

After about 15 minutes, he came back to join me. He asked how much I was being paid, I told him. He asked if his wife mentioned why she needed to learn how to read, I told him I assumed it was for self improvement. Meanwhile, I had been collecting money weekly for several weeks and this woman could not read jack. We would rather chat, gist and laugh.

The Major went to the TV area and gave me a card, it was their wedding invitation card in 2 weeks time. He mentioned that they never got married before the kids. In short, at the wedding, the woman would be required to read a long vow or something like that. It was a Methodist or Anglican church along Bodija.

He said, given his status both in the church and in the army, he must not be embarrassed by his wife's inability to read. That was the whole reason for the lesson that we turned into chatting sessions. He said it was mandatory that I attended to witness the result of my tutoring. The whole conversion lasted for about 10 minutes and it sounded more like subtle threats and one man trying to dominate another man.

How did the woman not mention her wedding and the real reason she was learning how to read? How could I make her read in two weeks? Should we just memorize the whole text of the program? My mind started racing. I lived at the other end of the barracks, the Major knows where I worked as well. No way I could escape. I had collected a lot of money already and I was 100% certain he would be embarrassed on that day.

I did what I could in two weeks. Attending the wedding for me was like a cow going to the slaughter. My heart was pounding and was literally in my mouth. I knew the woman could not still read even after practicing the texts many times.

It was a beautiful military wedding. I sat at the back, then two guys came and said something like "O boy, oga say make we sit beside you". Which oga? They said "Major". I knew I was in deep shit. Prior to that time, a corper colleague had to be locked up in the guard room for dating a soldier's sister. Ordinary soldier. This was a Major about to be embarrassed in front of his friends, colleagues, juniors and church members. Of course, he wouldn't beat his wife, I figured I would carry all the blame and possibly return every penny I collected.

Sitting through the wedding was the most tensed period of my entire adult life. Gruelling 3 hours!. Second was waiting for my HIV test result. Of course, she fumbled, woefully at that. It was a disaster. That moment you want to hide under the seat. The officiating minster had to take charge of the situation to save face. I'm sure he wasn't aware.

As they where matching out of the church through the guards or what do they call them. Those guys that carry sticks and couples pass under them. I was seriously looking at the Major's face. His facial expression would inform me of my likely fate. His face was always expressionless but today, it was important to read those expressions so as to know my next line of action. Either to pick the next available bus back to my state and never return or something like that. But again, there's the problem of the soldiers beside me.

Conclusion.

The Major didn't have my time on that day, I guess he was occupied with the guests and all. I got lost in the crowd but never returned home directly. I slept at a colleagues room like 10 blocks away from ours. I could remember, ours was block 36 Engineering block. The soldiers sent to sit next to me also probably didn't know the reason and we all dispersed. My room mate and other corper colleagues that knew the background were waiting for the full gist of what happened. That night, I was waiting for that "gulf 3" visit. Gulf car was reigning at the time. They used gulf to pick you up to treat unofficial f**k ups.

The next day, I received a call from the Major's wife to come down to the Officer's Quarters. She didn't thank me for attending the wedding or for my tutoring or say anything that I could draw conclusions on about the mood of the situation. I was too paralysed to even congratulate her. Why would she be the one to call me given what happened at the wedding? I had heard all sorts of stories about what happens in the guard room, true or untrue, I never wanted to experience any of it. I put myself in the Major's shoes. No man should experience what he passed though in those few minutes at the altar. The Church became very quiet. Some people could not even look up.

Approaching the building, I saw the Major and one of the soldiers from yesterday and behold, the Gulf car!!.

I went straight down on my knees and then on my chest, flat on the floor in public view. My colleague had told me that was the only way I could lessen my punishment. But the Officer's Quaters was too quiet and lonely to gain any public pity and possibly help. The Major looked confused. I started apologizing and promised to even refund him. His kids (2 boys, 1 girl) started laughing.

The wife came out laughing as well, but in her hands was what I would later find out to be cake wrapped in those aluminium foils for me. The Major and the soldier just looked at me as if I was less of a man, rolling on the floor without even being accused of anything yet. Apparently, the Gulf car belonged to the soldier. The poor man was not even angry at me. I died multiple times throughout the night thinking about what evil was about to befall me. But all was just in my mind.

The wife would later tell me that she warned her husband before the Wedding not to waste his money on tutoring her. She felt she was hopeless at education.








Sitting in a bus journeying for my almost 2 hours road trip to work this morning, I opened this post which I had yesterday evening opened in a new tab but couldn't read it and read every word in it. I enjoyed your lettered experience. Your are a good writer. Say Nollywood na better movie industry, this your experience could have been well scripted for a good 'true life story' movie.
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Gaddafi1: 4:41pm On Oct 08, 2021
Lindner:
Long story!!

In an interview, I was asked to narrate a really tensed sitiation and how I navigated it.

I remembered my NYSC days, I lived inside Letmauck Cantonement, Mokola Barracks, Ibadan. Year was 2008.

The wife of an Army Officer( a Major) hired me to tutor their three young kids after school. Unknown to me, it was the woman that needed tutoring on how to read English(she couldn't read nor write). She spoke only pidgin.

We agreed the fees (weekly), and I started. She would later open up to me that she needed tutoring as well. For a relatively long time, I didnt meet the Major himself. I would have left before he returned from work. I was a teacher at St Luis Grammar school just behind the barracks.

Long story short, I started teaching the woman too after she increased my weekly fee. But I noticed the woman would rather gist with me than learn. Being a student of emotional intelligence myself, I reckoned she needed someone to gist with in that ghostly environment like the Officer's Quaters. A full time house wife and in that environment. The other end of the barrack where soldiers ans corpers live was more fun and populated . As long as I was paid, we would gist all afternoon. We soon became friends. I even stopped teaching the kids. They were super sharp, intelligent, restless and troublesome. But every Friday, she never missed my payment.

One faithful Friday afternoon, the Major came home early, that was the first time I ever saw his face. I rightly assumed all the money I was being handsomely paid came from him since the wife was a full house wife.

I stood up to greet him but I couldn't tell if he was angry, sad or just being his military self. He didn't bother to respond, he just went upstairs. His wife followed him immediately.

After about 15 minutes, he came back to join me. He asked how much I was being paid, I told him. He asked if his wife mentioned why she needed to learn how to read, I told him I assumed it was for self improvement. Meanwhile, I had been collecting money weekly for several weeks and this woman could not read jack. We would rather chat, gist and laugh.

The Major went to the TV area and gave me a card, it was their wedding invitation card in 2 weeks time. He mentioned that they never got married before the kids. In short, at the wedding, the woman would be required to read a long vow or something like that. It was a Methodist or Anglican church along Bodija.

He said, given his status both in the church and in the army, he must not be embarrassed by his wife's inability to read. That was the whole reason for the lesson that we turned into chatting sessions. He said it was mandatory that I attended to witness the result of my tutoring. The whole conversion lasted for about 10 minutes and it sounded more like subtle threats and one man trying to dominate another man.

How did the woman not mention her wedding and the real reason she was learning how to read? How could I make her read in two weeks? Should we just memorize the whole text of the program? My mind started racing. I lived at the other end of the barracks, the Major knows where I worked as well. No way I could escape. I had collected a lot of money already and I was 100% certain he would be embarrassed on that day.

I did what I could in two weeks. Attending the wedding for me was like a cow going to the slaughter. My heart was pounding and was literally in my mouth. I knew the woman could not still read even after practicing the texts many times.

It was a beautiful military wedding. I sat at the back, then two guys came and said something like "O boy, oga say make we sit beside you". Which oga? They said "Major". I knew I was in deep shit. Prior to that time, a corper colleague had to be locked up in the guard room for dating a soldier's sister. Ordinary soldier. This was a Major about to be embarrassed in front of his friends, colleagues, juniors and church members. Of course, he wouldn't beat his wife, I figured I would carry all the blame and possibly return every penny I collected.

Sitting through the wedding was the most tensed period of my entire adult life. Gruelling 3 hours!. Second was waiting for my HIV test result. Of course, she fumbled, woefully at that. It was a disaster. That moment you want to hide under the seat. The officiating minster had to take charge of the situation to save face. I'm sure he wasn't aware.

As they where matching out of the church through the guards or what do they call them. Those guys that carry sticks and couples pass under them. I was seriously looking at the Major's face. His facial expression would inform me of my likely fate. His face was always expressionless but today, it was important to read those expressions so as to know my next line of action. Either to pick the next available bus back to my state and never return or something like that. But again, there's the problem of the soldiers beside me.

Conclusion.

The Major didn't have my time on that day, I guess he was occupied with the guests and all. I got lost in the crowd but never returned home directly. I slept at a colleagues room like 10 blocks away from ours. I could remember, ours was block 36 Engineering block. The soldiers sent to sit next to me also probably didn't know the reason and we all dispersed. My room mate and other corper colleagues that knew the background were waiting for the full gist of what happened. That night, I was waiting for that "gulf 3" visit. Gulf car was reigning at the time. They used gulf to pick you up to treat unofficial f**k ups.

The next day, I received a call from the Major's wife to come down to the Officer's Quarters. She didn't thank me for attending the wedding or for my tutoring or say anything that I could draw conclusions on about the mood of the situation. I was too paralysed to even congratulate her. Why would she be the one to call me given what happened at the wedding? I had heard all sorts of stories about what happens in the guard room, true or untrue, I never wanted to experience any of it. I put myself in the Major's shoes. No man should experience what he passed though in those few minutes at the altar. The Church became very quiet. Some people could not even look up.

Approaching the building, I saw the Major and one of the soldiers from yesterday and behold, the Gulf car!!.

I went straight down on my knees and then on my chest, flat on the floor in public view. My colleague had told me that was the only way I could lessen my punishment. But the Officer's Quaters was too quiet and lonely to gain any public pity and possibly help. The Major looked confused. I started apologizing and promised to even refund him. His kids (2 boys, 1 girl) started laughing.

The wife came out laughing as well, but in her hands was what I would later find out to be cake wrapped in those aluminium foils for me. The Major and the soldier just looked at me as if I was less of a man, rolling on the floor without even being accused of anything yet. Apparently, the Gulf car belonged to the soldier. The poor man was not even angry at me. I died multiple times throughout the night thinking about what evil was about to befall me. But all was just in my mind.

The wife would later tell me that she warned her husband before the Wedding not to waste his money on tutoring her. She felt she was hopeless at education.






Not sure I have read any better story on Nairaland. So interesting that I have gone through it 5 times and seriously laughed hard.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Abimbola29(m): 2:41pm On Oct 11, 2021
You just made my day,I love the story,when I was in secondary School command,I had a friend back then,he was in love with a colonel only daughter,can you imagine,him leaving home to go pay the girl a visit as early as 7:30am,when soldiers dey oga gate.my friend see helll

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