Sanchez01:

Sadly, I understand all there is to know about your person and I am guessing it is either:

1. You don't have a proper career or a proper job.
2. You are a full time house wife (not like it is a bad thing).
3. You are a social animal (which isn't bad) but can't prioritise between which needs to go between the home and social events if the former is on the line.

Regardless, you have so much time on your hands to worry so much about village parties. And the fact that you are constantly seeking validation by responding to every response proves you fall between 1 & 2.

Sanchez01:

Sorry o, but there are ways to smell terrible people from a distance even without meeting them. You got 'motivated' about NPT'J's thread—someone whose sister unceremoniously went away with a man and you think the man you are married to does not allow you to visit your village puts both situations in almost the same box? I want to believe you are rightfully married to your husband and everything in your life readjusts, priority-wise the moment you two married and the same goes for him. How can a married woman be screaming "my village" in this day and time to the point that she fights her husband over it?? And then you quarrel with him over it and he entertains your periodic quarrels?? At this point, it is best that the man returns you to your family, demands his bride price so that you can walk around the village and market square as you please.

This is what happens when some homes are chaos-free. One person will just use his/her hand to destory the peace therein just because they are idle and have no worries.

fearlessmum:

Mr proper career Welldone, if you don't have comprehension problems you would've understood where I wrote about visiting my parents not village parties .
I know it's difficult for you since you don't have a good upbringing, I didn't insult you, why the insult? People like you don't have regards for your parents.

Oluchia:
This post is really funny Of all the things that should be an issue in marriage, it is travelling to the village. Even me as an adult, has not been to my villa for close to 3 years now and don't intend going there anytime soon with all the insecurities/unknown gun men saga.Na im you wan carry children dey waka up and down. My sister's children who are in the UK met my dad(their grandfather) for the first time after 5 years, person no die. Wahala for who no get village. Please, invite your parents to come see you if that's the concern.

Justbehave:
No mind her. Since she loves her parents and her village so much. Why did she agree to marry a man staying in the city? She should have married one who is based in the village nah.
How many times has she demanded from her husband for them to go to his own village?
Abi him too no get village? People go just sit down dey find trouble weh trouble no dey.

Oluchia:
This post is really funny Of all the things that should be an issue in marriage, it is travelling to the village. Even me as an adult, has not been to my villa for close to 3 years now and don't intend going there anytime soon with all the insecurities/unknown gun men saga.Na im you wan carry children dey waka up and down. My sister's children who are in the UK met my dad(their grandfather) for the first time after 5 years, person no die. Wahala for who no get village. Please, invite your parents to come see you if that's the concern.

Ginaz:


She even said she won’t have married him if she knew he would be like this .

I feel sorry for the husband , imagine the nags and fights she had given him cos of her village

mariahAngel:


Her life does not only revolve around her husband and the marriage.

She had a life way before she married, and that life did not cease to exist simply because she got married.
Those in that life matter to her as much she matters to them.
Her feelings are valid and deserve consideration.

Ginaz:


She even said she won’t have married him if she knew he would be like this .

I feel sorry for the husband , imagine the nags and fights she had given him cos of her village

Ginaz:


Aunty abeg go and sit down. She’s an adult and should navigate her life to be purposeful . Start a business, seek ways to better her life like having a career, put head together with her husband to make the home great financially, spiritually and physically.

Nobody stopped her from being in contact with her parents but she is yet to see she’s an adult and there should be priorities . It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love her parents or has abandon them. The husband gives her the go ahead to the village but she’s throwing fights because she wants to go there whenever she feels like.

She wants to be taking the kids under this security problem we have in the country. She wants to go and attend village functions and parties . Does that sound reasonable to you at all?

mariahAngel:


Na you make you go sit down!

Na una type dey carry una whole self give man.
Once una marry, papa and mama no matter again, but once dem begin show una pepper for marriage, na dat time una go remember say una been get family.

No wise up you hear?

mariahAngel:


Na you make you go sit down!

Na una type dey carry una whole self give man.
Once una marry, papa and mama no matter again, but once dem begin show una pepper for marriage, na dat time una go remember say una been get family.

No wise up you hear?

Justbehave:
Please just stop. Did you read anywhere that he stopped her from visiting her parents in the village? He only said she shouldn't be visiting frequently and he is right.
Can't they visit them in the city? Or did he also prohibited them from visiting?
Since she loves her village activities so much why didn't she marry a man that is based in her village? Why nagging unnecessarily.
Like I told her earlier,let her use something and break the man's head and see if that village she so much like won't welcome her permanently.

mariahAngel:



According to her post, she said her husband has never allowed her to take the children to go visit her parents. Do you think that is fair?

Ginaz:


It’s you who have problem. You said and I quote” I hardly go to any function in the village except it directly involve my parents

Meeting your parents in the village is not enough for you but you want to attend functions around the village like the village woman you are.

What if your husband took you and the kids abroad? Won’t you find a way to cope ? He’s not stopping you from meeting your parents , at least you went last year but you’re insatiable. What’s the whole matter that you want to destroy your home for?

Village functions right ? Like they will give you award in the village . He’s not maltreating you, he takes care of the family, he hasn’t stopped you from calling your parents and speaking with them via phone . When you guys got newly married he gave you free will to go to the village and even went along with you. So the picture he’s trying to block you from your family is totally false !

You’re unreasonable, unwise and headstrong. The security in the country right now is a total mess for one to risk moving around.

Just pack your bags and go to your village . You’re clearly lacking good sense .

Of all things to fight about, you choose your village over your matrimonial peace .
Aunty get out!

Good evening all, I have been a guest of this forum for some years now, I
decided to register after reading a story shared yesterday by NPTJ to also share
mine and asked for advice as i am really confused right now.
Although my own case is different as i am legally married.
My husband and I have been married for five years now with two wonderful
kids.
Aside the reason for this thread, He's a very good husband and father to our
kids.
The issue is , he doesn't want me to go to the village with the children that
automatically means I can't go as I'm still breastfeeding our second child , I
cannot leave him and travel as he's not even up to one year.
My husband and my parents stays in different states. We went to the village
last year July and there's no plan of going this year, whenever I raise discussion about the issue he
simply replied that we'll go when there's a need for us to go.
I hardly go for any function in the village except it directly involves my parents.
This has brought a lot of issues between my nuclear and my extended families.
It wasn't like this when we married newly, we do visits them then and even go
during Christmas holidays but all that changed when we had our first child, he
feels we can't take the child to the village so that "village people" will not
attack him.
We've quarrelled about this severally yet nothing changes, I am tired of arguing
about this .
Please married folks, am I suppose to abandoned my extended family just
because I am married? Please I need matured advice before I do something
that I will regret.
Is my husband right on this ? has anyone been in my position, please help me.
He goes to his village whenever he has any issue to sort out but I cannot

Bola146:


I have seen my parents now since over two years but we do video calls almost everyday including my siblings especially on conference calls. So if your parents are not in the country, na by force to go and meet them? You said party? Visit parents? This is digital time, send them money to buy good phone for video calls. Please don't destroy your home and come back here seeking for advice, good and responsible husband are very rare to find Shalom

mariahAngel:



According to her post, she said her husband has never allowed her to take the children to go visit her parents. Do you think that is fair?

Good evening all, I have been a guest of this forum for some years now, I
decided to register after reading a story shared yesterday by NPTJ to also share
mine and asked for advice as i am really confused right now.
Although my own case is different as i am legally married.
My husband and I have been married for five years now with two wonderful
kids.
Aside the reason for this thread, He's a very good husband and father to our
kids.
The issue is , he doesn't want me to go to the village with the children that
automatically means I can't go as I'm still breastfeeding our second child , I
cannot leave him and travel as he's not even up to one year.
My husband and my parents stays in different states. We went to the village
last year July and there's no plan of going this year, whenever I raise discussion about the issue he
simply replied that we'll go when there's a need for us to go.
I hardly go for any function in the village except it directly involves my parents.
This has brought a lot of issues between my nuclear and my extended families.
It wasn't like this when we married newly, we do visits them then and even go
during Christmas holidays but all that changed when we had our first child, he
feels we can't take the child to the village so that "village people" will not
attack him.
We've quarrelled about this severally yet nothing changes, I am tired of arguing
about this .
Please married folks, am I suppose to abandoned my extended family just
because I am married? Please I need matured advice before I do something
that I will regret.
Is my husband right on this ? has anyone been in my position, please help me.
He goes to his village whenever he has any issue to sort out but I cannot