A 37 years old lady chatted me last 2weeks, let's call her Ada. Ada came to me and complained that her husband's best friend from childhood who works in the same office with her husband and earns the same amount of salary saved up money, bought his wife a car and they went to Maldives for her 40th birthday.

Ada said she suspects her husband was cheating on her and he must have been giving money to another woman that is why he's always broke. She wanted me to post it on my wall so that people will "advice her" on action to take to catch her husband. Because I do not post Junks on my wall, I started asking her some questions.

We did a messenger call. After much questioning and running back to back analysis without prejudice, we discovered somethings.

Read carefully.

Ada husbands childhood friend's wife works with a travel agency while Ada sells beads, zips and other tailoring items.

Childhood friend has 2 children. Twin boys of 17 who just entered university. Ada has 5 kids age 2, 5, 8, 11 and 13.

Childhood friend is the last child out of 3 children, but Ada's husband is the 2nd born but first son out of 6 children.

Childhood friend has no father and mother again, but Ada's husband has a mother but no father,

Mrs Childhood friend's parents are retired Judges, but Ada's parents are in the village.

Mrs Childhood friend has just a younger brother who is an Air force officer and married with 2 kids, Ada has 3 younger siblings who are still struggling.

So if Ada's husband earns 300k,
He would pay the school fees of 5 children of which two are toddlers, send money to his mother, sort out one or two bills for some siblings,

While Childhood friend would just pay for 2 children school fees, he has no younger siblings to cater for, his wife's parents are well taken care off, he has no parents to send money to.

Mrs Childhood friend with her knowledge with the travel agency she works with knows when to get good ticket prices, she knows when they get bonus, she knows those countries that offers Visa on Arival like Rwanda, Maldives, Uganda and the Rest. She has no younger siblings to care for so she can save up her salary or commission to grab some last minute flight deals.

But Ada is just zip and button seller, if she sells, she would send money to her siblings.

Both men works and earn the same, but their responsibilities are different... way way different.

By the time I highlighted these to her she felt guilty. I made sure she sees these because she was the one answering the questions.

Sometimes, before you pressure yourself over someone's achievements, think of the responsibilities you have.

You might earn more than a person who has a flashy car and lives in a good apartment, but you have more responsibilities than that person.

Someone earning 40k might be living your dream life and traveling round the world, but you who is earning 150k would think your village people has tied your destiny.

People would wonder why you don't dress well,
They would mock you that you don't know how to save money or plan your life like them,
They will say upon all your money you can't afford iphone 13 or human hair or nice suits.

Check the bills you have to pay,
Check the things that eats your money and praise yourself. Its not everyone that even have the luxury of saving.

Some of us as the money comes, if we don't spend it on ourself and eat bole and fish, our phone will ring and one person is asking for 5k.

You'll be paid 50k and in 30 minutes you're seeing something that resembles 2k in your account.

Some of you are actually doing better than you know, but you're so busy looking at other peoples farms and counting their achievements that you can't see yours.

Comparison leads to unhappiness.


Culled from
WhatsApp family group discussion

Nice piece.

Conclusively, Ada is senseless.

ProfGday:
A 37 years old lady chatted me last 2weeks, let's call her Ada. Ada came to me and complained that her husband's best friend from childhood who works in the same office with her husband and earns the same amount of salary saved up money, bought his wife a car and they went to Maldives for her 40th birthday.

Ada said she suspects her husband was cheating on her and he must have been giving money to another woman that is why he's always broke. She wanted me to post it on my wall so that people will "advice her" on action to take to catch her husband. Because I do not post Junks on my wall, I started asking her some questions.

We did a messenger call. After much questioning and running back to back analysis without prejudice, we discovered somethings.

Read carefully.

Ada husbands childhood friend's wife works with a travel agency while Ada sells beads, zips and other tailoring items.

Childhood friend has 2 children. Twin boys of 17 who just entered university. Ada has 5 kids age 2, 5, 8, 11 and 13.

Childhood friend is the last child out of 3 children, but Ada's husband is the 2nd born but first son out of 6 children.

Childhood friend has no father and mother again, but Ada's husband has a mother but no father,

Mrs Childhood friend's parents are retired Judges, but Ada's parents are in the village.

Mrs Childhood friend has just a younger brother who is an Air force officer and married with 2 kids, Ada has 3 younger siblings who are still struggling..

please help me ask Ada Why she can't work, and save up herself towards the car and the trip she wants?

Why must her husband be the one to deliver on that? What is her worth as a part of the union?

Davash222:
Conclusively, Ada is senseless.

Is not that she was senseless,but she based her thoughts on wrong assumptions

Kobojunkie:
please help me ask Ada Why she can't work, and save up herself towards the car and the trip she wants?

Why must her husband be the one to deliver on that? What is her worth as a part of the union?

You know in our clime here,man is a provider.

But in other clime,e.g India if your papa no get money nobody will marry his female child... Women paid dowry over there.

ProfGday:
You know in our clime here,man is a provider.

But in other clime,e.g India if your papa no get money nobody will marry his female child... Women paid dowry over there.

Obviously does not apply in Ada's case here since she works and provides for her non immediate family.

So abeg ask her why she no fit provide for a dream that is ultimately hers to begjn with.

Kobojunkie:
Obviously does not apply in Ada's case here since she works and provides for her non immediate family.

So abeg ask her why she no fit provide for a dream that is ultimately hers to begjn with.

Lol

thats what happens when people are focussing on whats in their neighbors pocket/life, instead of focussuing on their own shiiit.
sadly, the majority of Nigerians/Africans only value life in MONETARY TERMS, thus they will automatically envy a rich man and look down on a poor man, not understanding that the poor man could have a better life than the rich one.

ProfGday:


Is not that she was senseless,but she based her thoughts on wrong assumptions

Na because she no use her sense.