Mercychen:
Some parents are not close or friendly with their children. They make themselves so unapproachable that the children can't even confide in them about such sensitive issues or issues bothering then generally.

That's one thing I'm grrateful to God for about my parents. They made us feel so free to approach them easily with any thing bothering us and that was why I was able to escape sexual abuse after a near experience with one useless old man who's supposed to be my God father.


I was just 8 yrs old then. This man, an elderly man. ( was older than my dad then) was my Godfather by reason of baptism ( in Catholic). So since then, if he sees me on the way, he'll be calling me "my daughter, my daughter". I'll go and greet him and continue on my way.

So, one day, he was coming to our house and saw me downstairs by the stair case. He just Carried me up with the usual "my daughter" trash. He didn't put me down until we got to the stairway.

This man put me down in front of him and made me back him. So my back was resting on his knees as we climbed up the stairs. The next thing, this ugly beast bent down ( we were still climbing) and threw his hands across my shoulders and started putting his hand inside my pant. Gosh! I thought I was dreaming. And you know all this corner staircase can be very dark even in the day time.

I quickly wriggled and skipped a stair and he nearly fell because he didn't see that move coming but he quickly rubbed the front part below my belly button before regaining his balance and I jumped to the top case leading to the second floor to our apartment. Mehn.. I hated this man instantly.

Immediately we entered our flat, he sat with my dad in the sitting room and I went straight to my mum's room and told her everything the old fool did to me at the stair case. My mum quickly lay me on the bed and checked my body asking questions. And I told her he couldn't go past my belly button before I jumped off him. So after checking and not seeing any harm, she warned me never to go near the goat again.

When my mum came out to the sitting room, he was shaking. Looking at me and my Mom but my Mom just gave him a disgusting look. She just respected my dad and kept her cool there. I don't know if she later told my dad but since then the idiot never came to our house again. And if I see him, I'll hide.

Even when I started growing breast, he'll be calling me, I'll just be like, please please, excuse me. He'll be like " my daughter come here"! With authority. Ill just walk past him.

That is why I shout and frown when ever I see all these children following brother up and down. Even baba can not be trusted.

AMumAndMore:
I think it will be best for sexual predators to be disgraced. Keeping your cool around them or giving them a private warning is not enough!

He should be the one running and hiding when he sees the child or the parents of the child he molested.

Its because of these private warnings that will make him do it to another child because the child's parents are not aware of the kind of person he is. But once people like him are disgraced and the whole neighbourhood knows what kind of person he is, they would know better than to leave their children with him.

In the US, people like that are labelled sex offenders and it goes permanently on their record such that even if they relocate they still have to go and report themselves to the authorities in the new place that they are sex offenders so everyone can be wary of them.

It's that same disgrace that should be given to people over here...

Mercychen:


You know, my Mom was a like, since there were no traces of bodily damage, it might be difficult to a accuse or drag him for any form of molestation. And you know Nigerians, when you make such accusations without evidence, especially when it was reported by a little child, people will not believe you and they'll see you as insulting an elderly man especially as my Mom was so young then. So, she only did the little she could then.

I knew if it was my dad, he would have dragged him cos my dad doesn't joke with us with men.

Richy4:
Some parents are too judgmental... those kids will be there when their parents were criticizing others... they usually hear their parent's tongue wagging most times when they were watching movies together or on a family gathering.....

You will hear a parent saying things like why should that parent allow their daughter to have a boy friend @ 18...Not in my house etc... So if their daughter was in a relationship, she will never say, if she got abused, she will never say... because she has already heard her mother or father say some stuff....

Spherical77:
But that's the truth. Why keeping a boyfriend at that age? What do you expect when you've started what you ain't expected of. He'd definitely ask you for sex someday and possibly force himself on her

Do you expect the parents to encourage their daughters to start keeping boyfriend or what?

You don't start what you can't finish

Richy4:



Based on your question if a parent should encourage their daughters to keep boyfriends, the reality is no parent will encourage that but u and I knows that they will keep boyfriends anyways and lie that they have never spoken to any boy since they were born...

Parents can't monitor their movements 24hrs.. the best any parent would do Will be to encourage their daughters to bring their friends home so that they may know whom they were going out with and do the advice thing...

Being judgemental as a parent puts kids into a very bad situations because they might find themselves in that same situation and they can never confined in any of them.. instead they go to their peers Who might dish out wrong advice...

Spherical77:
Yes, you are absolutely right. Majority of them had boyfriend but chose to pretend not until they got caught up right on the act or probably things went south

You know African parents with their style of parenting. Very few fraction of them got the ideology you put up there.

Sincerely if i was these young girls i wouldn't give in for pressure having boyfriend at this age of mine. Boys got nothing to offer than fun, fun and fun

Moreso, girls are always at the receiving end after the whole thing plays out

Those parents assumed provided you ain't lacking finances, love and care from home, attention and whataview. Then they had no business keeping boyfriend if they ain't after sexual intercourse which sometimes lead to pregnancy, STD, heartbreak et al

To cap it up, I'd gladly accept your ideology and hopefully use that on my kids when i get to that stage in life

However, I'd stand on chastity, celibacy for my kids. You have no business indulging in sex when you ain't married