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... by Perciy: 12:25pm On Nov 12, 2021
.

2 Likes

Re: ... by Davash222(m): 12:28pm On Nov 12, 2021
Women and Wickedness.

6 Likes

Re: ... by Nobody: 12:29pm On Nov 12, 2021
Davash222:
Women and Wickedness.
At least let her finish her story before jumping to conclusions.

13 Likes

Re: ... by Davash222(m): 12:32pm On Nov 12, 2021
InTheCloudySky:
At least let her finish her story before jumping to conclusions.
I can't waste my time to wait for her to finish. Women are naturally wicked to their fellow women.

10 Likes

Re: ... by Bola146(f): 12:44pm On Nov 12, 2021
Re: ... by Bola146(f): 12:45pm On Nov 12, 2021
Davash222:

I can't waste my time to wait for her to finish. Women are naturally wicked to their fellow women.

Why not some women? Your sisters and mother are among remember that

4 Likes

Re: ... by Nobody: 12:46pm On Nov 12, 2021
I don't support any form of wickedness unless she's posing some threat.Na wa for you ooo.
Re: ... by Hathor5(f): 12:48pm On Nov 12, 2021
Davash222:

I can't waste my time to wait for her to finish. Women are naturally wicked to their fellow women.

But you have enough time to make useless comments. Attention seeker.

12 Likes

Re: ... by Davash222(m): 12:49pm On Nov 12, 2021
Wicked gender.

I no get una time.

7 Likes

Re: ... by Opeyemiextra(f): 1:06pm On Nov 12, 2021
C'mon! Be better. Please note that she said they both had an agreement about this.
Davash222:
Women and Wickedness.

1 Like

Re: ... by Davash222(m): 1:11pm On Nov 12, 2021
Opeyemiextra:
C'mon! Be better. Please note that she said they both had an agreement about this.
What nonsense agreement

Agreement or no agreement, women are naturally wicked and evil to their fellow women.

I want you to agree to this.

4 Likes

Re: ... by Mariangeles(f): 1:12pm On Nov 12, 2021
Davash222:
Wicked gender.

I no get una time.

Akpi!
I bidola n'ehihie a kpega oku?
Mgbe obula, gi na ndi umu nwaanyi faatii faatii. Zukwanu ike nwata a!

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: ... by crackhaus: 1:14pm On Nov 12, 2021
LOL, this Davash guy... cheesy cheesy
Re: ... by GboyegaD(m): 1:25pm On Nov 12, 2021
Davash222:

What nonsense agreement

Agreement or no agreement, women are naturally wicked and evil to their fellow women.

I want you to agree to this.

I'm guessing they are the source of your misery.

6 Likes

Re: ... by Opeyemiextra(f): 2:08pm On Nov 12, 2021
Whether some women are wicked and evil or not is a different discussion entirely.
I am not wicked if I am working based on an agreement especially if it hasn't been reviewed. So, no, I do not agree with you.
Davash222:

What nonsense agreement

Agreement or no agreement, women are naturally wicked and evil to their fellow women.

I want you to agree to this.

1 Like

Re: ... by Foodqueen(f): 2:18pm On Nov 12, 2021
Op, for her to have lived with you for two years with all these characters means that u have tolerated her enough and indeed you are a good person.

She's really comfortable in her space, that's why she isn't planning to move.

Marriage na wa!!

4 Likes

Re: ... by emmanuelbrown26: 2:30pm On Nov 12, 2021
InTheCloudySky:
At least let her finish her story before jumping to conclusions.
Their nothing to finish, we hv already know where she is heading to

4 Likes

Re: ... by tabithababy(f): 4:13pm On Nov 12, 2021
Perciy:
Good day Nairalanders,

I've been a silent follower of Nairaland for many years, but something bothering me and about making me lose my mental health made me run here for advice.

I'll try to be precise. I'm married with 3 kids, 2 years old twin boys and a less than 6 months old daughter. Our marriage is 3years. We relocated to Lagos state 3 years back after we got married. God has been so faithful to us. My husband's youngest sister who got a job shortly after came to live with us.

Before we got married, we both agreed no one would live with us at least for the first five years of our marriage, but boom, my sister-in-law came. Before she came I asked my husband how long she'd be living with us...

To be continued shortly.
.

Please finish this story
Re: ... by Perciy: 6:17pm On Nov 12, 2021
tabithababy:
.

Please finish this story
I have, thank you.
Re: ... by Truvelisback(m): 6:37pm On Nov 12, 2021
U don't need to quarrel with her or with ur husband. Live with her with wisdom. Whenever she wants to eat, put a little quantity for her to avoid wastage. When she finish eating, tell her to wash the plate she ate with. When u guys are having fun, always luck the door.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: ... by Perciy: 7:04pm On Nov 12, 2021
Truvelisback:
U don't need to quarrel with her or with ur husband. Live with her with wisdom. Whenever she wants to eat, put a little quantity for her to avoid wastage. When she finish eating, tell her to wash the plate she ate with. When u guys are having fun, always luck the door.
Thanks for your input, won't telling her to wash her plate sound like an insult to her? Remember I said she doesn't like to be corrected. This person in question is older than me with a few years.

Moreso, you've advised I live with her with wisdom, but I'm just wondering how long she'd live with us. Our home is so comfortable, i fear she might not want to leave the comfort she's getting at my house to get her own place. Will I be subjected to live with her till God knows when? It's well. Thanks again for your input.

1 Like

Re: ... by Truvelisback(m): 7:10pm On Nov 12, 2021
Perciy:
Thanks for your input, won't telling her to wash her sound like an insult to her? Remember I said she doesn't like to be corrected. This person in question is older than me with a few years.

Moreso, you've advised I live with her with wisdom, but I'm just wondering how long she'd live with us. Our home is so comfortable, i fear she might not want to leave the comfort she's getting at my house to get her own place. It's well. Thanks again for your input.
Don't let her comfort bothers u. As a wife, u should be accomodative to family members including visitors. Just live with her peacefully.
Re: ... by Perciy: 7:28pm On Nov 12, 2021
Truvelisback:
Don't let her comfort bothers u. As a wife, u should be accomodative to family members including visitors. Just live with her peacefully.
It's okay. Thanks.
Re: ... by prettysassygirl(f): 7:40pm On Nov 12, 2021
Please ask her to leave.period
Re: ... by faithfull18(f): 8:04pm On Nov 12, 2021
Hmmn.
Re: ... by sisisioge: 8:08pm On Nov 12, 2021
Pele.....you wont actually be wicked for discussing her exist but it will forever be held against you. Biko pretend shes not there and continue to manage her. Hopefully, she would want more privacy than she currently gets and leave too without being prompted. It is well.
Re: ... by NarcissistKing(m): 8:33pm On Nov 12, 2021
grin grin grin

I find this funny.
Re: ... by Ulunne777(f): 8:51pm On Nov 12, 2021
Look the other way,its gonna be tough but try to do it.Even if she poeurs water all over the floor,jump and pass as long as your kids are not in harm.Keep doing it and be very good at it.Even the day your husband brings up her matter or to complain ,divert the topic.It will not come from you.You see your chores,do them like she's not there and with so much reckless abandon.
Onu ikputu ga erutu onye obula.She'll remember when she gets her own home.

I know we women can be very wicked and insensitive when it has to be in-law matter but if you are saying the truth,take the advice above.

1 Like

Re: ... by socialmediaman: 8:53pm On Nov 12, 2021
Perciy:
Good day Nairalanders,

I've been a silent follower of Nairaland for many years, but something bothering me and about making me lose my mental health made me run here for advice.

I'll try to be precise. I'm married with 3 kids, 2 years old twin boys and a less than 6 months old daughter. Our marriage is 3years. We relocated to Lagos state after we got married 2 years and a few months back. God has been so faithful to us. My husband's youngest sister who got a job shortly after came to live with us.

UPDATED

Before we got married, we both agreed no one would live with us at least for the first five years of our marriage, but boom, my sister-in-law came. Before she came I asked my husband how long she'd be living with us, he decided to pick up a quarrel with me in order not to give me a response.

Now my reasons for asking how long she'd be living with us are these:
1. To at least let her know what is obtainable as she'd live with us, know her boundaries
2. To give a clue that we had already agreed no one will be living with us at least for now, so she can stay for some time with us even if it's for 3 years to be able to save up and get a place of her own.
These points are what I wanted to suggest to him before he walked out of the conversation.

This is because I feel just letting anyone come stay with us without having a definite time of the person leaving will put a strain on our young marriage, no matter who the person is related to.

Before she got the job, she put her friend's address on her CV as her place of residence even before we relocated to Lagos. But I understand it will be somehow to live with a friend when her brother's place is still close by.

To the crux of the matter, this lady is so disorganized, dirty and doesn't like to be corrected. She doesn't respect boundaries, she badges into our bedroom without knocking to take my stuffs without seeking for permission. She has once badged in on us making love. If I'm taking my bath she can enter the bathroom to take whatever. I feel so exposed, I'm someone who loves her privacy which my husband knows.

Also, whatever happens in my home my husband's family is aware because of the lady in my house.

This lady is very wasteful, she doesn't contribute a dime to the running of the home. I support financially in the running of our home. If I serve her food, she can tell me the food is much so I can take from it, but NO! She would eat little from it and dump the rest in the kitchen sink, especially this time that food prices are pricey.
She doesn't assist in any chore at home, she washes the dishes once in a while and eats and keeps her plate for me to wash most of the times.

The general bathroom which she alone uses, because I have a bathroom in my bedroom is always dirty, when visitors come I feel ashamed when they use the convenience, coz it's most times dirty, I was forced to tell one of my visitors to use my bathroom, coz I was ashamed to show her the other convenience. There are lots more but I won't want to say more. Taking care of 2 toddlers and an infant with no help is no easy task, adding an extra load to my responsibility is not easy task for me.

This lady works in a good organisation that is very well known. I think it's time to get a place of her own as she has lived with us for 2 years and I'm sure she should have saved up a little. I will also suggest he assist her with some funds in getting a place.

I can't tell her what to do, she ignores me. This is my marriage and I think I deserve the coverage my marriage needs, I need my privacy too. I'm so exhausted, I'm losing my mental health already.

I'm considering discussing with my husband to discuss with her to work towards getting a place of her own. Will I be considered wicked if I do so?

Madam, I can’t relate with but I understand the situation you find yourself in. Nobody is happy to be in this type of situation, however, how you manage the situation is what matters. One way to help manage this type of situation is to try and be friends or at least earn her trust, so that when you correct her she won’t see you as an enemy. Another way is to talk to her woman to woman in a very respectful way and mutually agree on rules for peaceful coexistence.

It’s possible your husband doesn’t want her to get her own place till she gets married or decides to do that herself, that’s the situation you find yourself in. Find a way to make peace with whatever is going on. If you’ve not been nice to her in the past, call her one on one and apologize to her, then tell her what the rules should be, for that mutual respect and harmony to be there.

Suggesting to your husband to ask her to leave is another way to go about it, however, based on Nigerian cultures and ways of doing and seeing things, this route may pose more problems than they solve. You know better though, think through it before you make your decision.

The food issue for instance, you may stop dishing her food and ask her to dish by herself and be clear to her that the reason is because you don’t like food wasting and don’t want to dish more than she can take. You could also ask her what quantity is good enough for her when you’re dishing the food, that way she indicates by herself. On the issue of the bathrooms. You can call her and ask her to assist you with house chores like cleaning the bathroom she uses. If this is difficult to do, then discuss with your husband first. Your husband can ask her in the language she understands
Re: ... by Zico777(m): 9:52pm On Nov 12, 2021
prettysassygirl:
Please ask her to leave.period
What manner of a silly advice is this?
U want to destroy her home Abi?
Re: ... by Zico777(m): 9:58pm On Nov 12, 2021
See since your husband has done nothing about the situation.

My only advice for u is to try to live with the present situation to the best of your ability.

NB: my elder sister used to be in your shoes & she survived it.
Re: ... by wunmi590(m): 4:39am On Nov 13, 2021
tongue

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