My friend just came crying to me today. Because of the strong words used on her by her hubby.
Apparently, they had a heated argument. She started it all by accusing her husband of not saving enough money from his earnings (this was 11 months after pressurizing her husband to reveal his actual monthly earnings to her) .
She does a little business on the side and her husband usually borrows money from her, of which he always pays back. But she felt this shouldn't be so and kept wondering if her husband has a family elsewhere.
Her husband had enough of her rebuke and vehemently told her to pack up and leave the marriage if she was not satisfied with the way he saves his earnings.

Was he right to use such a statement on her? wasn't he taking it too far?

Following

Is left for her to choose. is either she leaves or let the man be her choice, Case close Nigeria done hard already life should be peaceful. The way people tend to forget the dead should make people realize that life is meaningless.

It's like the marriage don tire the woman. Because she is just looking for trouble where trouble no dey.

since the husband refused to change,u should FACE FRONT/MIND YOUR BUSINESS. He'll see the reality soon

It came late. He remains the authority in his home. Period. Let her learn humility; money is not everything!

She has seen what she's looking for

AquaPetals:
My friend just came crying to me today. Because of the strong words used on her by her hubby.
Apparently, they had a heated argument. She started it all by accusing her husband of not saving enough money from his earnings (this was 11 months after pressurizing her husband to reveal his actual monthly earnings to her) .
She does a little business on the side and her husband usually borrows money from her, of which he always pays back. But she felt this shouldn't be so and kept wondering if her husband has a family elsewhere.
Her husband had enough of her rebuke and vehemently told her to pack up and leave the marriage if she was not satisfied with the way he saves his earnings.

Was he right to use such a statement on her? wasn't he taking it too far?

You are the friend. You know too much
This is a minor issue. Shebi he told you that he doest have family somewhere. Why don't you trust him? I also believe nothing is hidden under the sun. So if it true then you get to know sooner or later.
Anyway don't leave your marriage over minor issue.
Hmmm women had done that always regret it. .

It's the way some of you ladies act that is funny to me. Probably this man is the one that foots every single bill in that house, makes sure you guys feed 3x daily and of course will also manage to take care of himself and maybe his parents. But for some reason, you feel he is not saving enough, not that he is not providing. Do you even know how much cost of living have so gone up? I firmly stand by the man, if you are not satisfied, take your things and leave and don't drive him to his untimely death, or you find a way and start supporting him on some bills so there will be more savings

Why do you want to know how much he earns? Better find work to do to support im instead of asking how much he earns. You want to know how much he earns so that you will bill im completely so there will be no savings but spending abi.

AquaPetals:
My friend just came crying to me today. Because of the strong words used on her by her hubby.
Apparently, they had a heated argument. She started it all by accusing her husband of not saving enough money from his earnings (this was 11 months after pressurizing her husband to reveal his actual monthly earnings to her) .
She does a little business on the side and her husband usually borrows money from her, of which he always pays back. But she felt this shouldn't be so and kept wondering if her husband has a family elsewhere.
Her husband had enough of her rebuke and vehemently told her to pack up and leave the marriage if she was not satisfied with the way he saves his earnings.

Was he right to use such a statement on her? wasn't he taking it too far?

as long as he takes care of the bills and you as well in the other room and you know he saved what again do you want? A little stress on a man na BP be that before you know she done become widow another man go dey Kpansh her. No woman should add stress to a man in this time, Nigeria is hard enough!

So she came to report to u without packing her things first? What is she still waiting for? she has no business knowing what he earns as long as he carries out his responsibilities at home. Women, wetin una want sef? She must pack oh, cos the man needs his sanity.

This shouldn't be an issue and they should be able to discuss how much they save while she also does her post in ensuring he's able to save enough.
It is amusing how people think the woman doesn't have a right to know how much the husband earns. Should that be a secret?

You want to know how much he earn so you can dictate how he spend his money
You cant dictate in his house

Like he said
If the marriage don tire you
You are free to go

AquaPetals:
My friend just came crying to me today. Because of the strong words used on her by her hubby.
Apparently, they had a heated argument. She started it all by accusing her husband of not saving enough money from his earnings (this was 11 months after pressurizing her husband to reveal his actual monthly earnings to her) .
She does a little business on the side and her husband usually borrows money from her, of which he always pays back. But she felt this shouldn't be so and kept wondering if her husband has a family elsewhere.
Her husband had enough of her rebuke and vehemently told her to pack up and leave the marriage if she was not satisfied with the way he saves his earnings.

Was he right to use such a statement on her? wasn't he taking it too far?

She is driving him up the wall



Let her go back and sort out everything between them.


Marriage is not child's play.

2dice01:


You want to know how much he earn so you can dictate how he spend his money
You cant dictate in his house

Like he said
If the marriage don tire you
You are free to go

mtcheew...
I wish I were the husband. Right there and then, I would throw her outta my house. What rubbish!
I married you with my money, I take care of you and you wanna tell me how to spend my hand earned money?

That's why I encourage my friends not to marry 9ja ladies

She should find other creative ways to have an idea without asking directly not a reason to leave the marriage. Okay, there's absolutely nothing wrong in a woman knowing how much her husband earns and vice versa.

What is marriage when both parties aren't totally honest and transparent with each other

If they are both sensible people, they should be able to help each other navigate life successfully.

God abeg.

Is this whole not knowing how much your partner earns phenomenon a Nigerian thing?

Let her stop lending him money and leave him to do anyhow he deems fit with his money. She should mind her biz and work very had to take care of herself.

Na him go lose las las.

AquaPetals:
My friend just came crying to me today. Because of the strong words used on her by her hubby.
Apparently, they had a heated argument. She started it all by accusing her husband of not saving enough money from his earnings (this was 11 months after pressurizing her husband to reveal his actual monthly earnings to her) .
She does a little business on the side and her husband usually borrows money from her, of which he always pays back. But she felt this shouldn't be so and kept wondering if her husband has a family elsewhere.
Her husband had enough of her rebuke and vehemently told her to pack up and leave the marriage if she was not satisfied with the way he saves his earnings.

Was he right to use such a statement on her? wasn't he taking it too far?

So many people are in a tasteless marriage because of bad attitude and bad economy

Well I think the woman should focus on her business and children since the man is not making savings

I believe if the man can face feeding alone, that's OK for someone who can't make savings let's see if his family will not feed or if he can't feed tge family

While the wife should remain there and face school fees

Then both of them can handle house rent together

So many marriages these days are run by the wives and if the man humbles himself, she will carry the load and no one will know about it

But if the man is showing himself and yet he can't feed a whole day meal that's where the problem is

AquaPetals:
My friend just came crying to me today. Because of the strong words used on her by her hubby.
Apparently, they had a heated argument. She started it all by accusing her husband of not saving enough money from his earnings (this was 11 months after pressurizing her husband to reveal his actual monthly earnings to her) .
She does a little business on the side and her husband usually borrows money from her, of which he always pays back. But she felt this shouldn't be so and kept wondering if her husband has a family elsewhere.
Her husband had enough of her rebuke and vehemently told her to pack up and leave the marriage if she was not satisfied with the way he saves his earnings.

Was he right to use such a statement on her? wasn't he taking it too far?

If you check well now, the so called lady that wants the man to be more responsible with his own income does not assist in any financial obligations, she prolly uses her money solely on herself but wants to direct the man on how best his own earnings should be distributed. How much did she tell you she has saved on her own? Afterall every penny he gave the man was paid back!

There’s a backstory you’re not telling us.

This ain’t all of it.

GboyegaD:
This shouldn't be an issue and they should be able to discuss how much they save while she also does her post in ensuring he's able to save enough.
It is amusing how people think the woman doesn't have a right to know how much the husband earns. Should that be a secret?

The thing dey surprise me shaa!!!

So a wife no get right to know what's up with em husband finances ?


So who come get the right? Em side chick?


Nigerian men the way una dey defend una fellow men Stupid shaa

frozen70:


So many people are in a tasteless marriage because of bad attitude and bad economy

Well I think the woman should focus on her business and children since the man is not making savings

I believe if the man can face feeding alone, that's OK for someone who can't make savings let's see if his family will not feed or if he can't feed tge family

While the wife should remain there and face school fees

Then both of them can handle house rent together

So many marriages these days are run by the wives and if the man humbles himself, she will carry the load and no one will know about it

But if the man is showing himself and yet he can't feed a whole day meal that's where the problem is

Her husband pays for all bills...feeding, school fees, rent, electricity, etc. He even assists her in sending money to her mom.
I don't know if her anger stems from the fact that he occasionally borrows money from her or he doesn't tell her what he does with money

TheboyGhost:



The thing dey surprise me shaa!!!

So a wife no get right to know what's up with em husband finances ?


So who come get the right? Em side chick?


Nigerian men the way una dey defend una fellow men Stupid shaa

I don't think they are defending themselves. It is actually the extent of their understanding.

AquaPetals:
Her husband pays for all bills...feeding, school fees, rent, electricity, etc. He even assists her in sending money to her mom.
I don't know if her anger stems from the fact that he occasionally borrows money from her or he doesn't tell her what he does with money

The reason why it isn't ideal one person fends for the family financially. It makes the person look down of the non-contributing partner.

AquaPetals:
Her husband pays for all bills...feeding, school fees, rent, electricity, etc. He even assists her in sending money to her mom.
I don't know if her anger stems from the fact that he occasionally borrows money from her or he doesn't tell her what he does with money

I know she is an over entitled non contributing woman

She is tired of the marriage as I said before.

AquaPetals:
My friend just came crying to me today. Because of the strong words used on her by her hubby.
Apparently, they had a heated argument. She started it all by accusing her husband of not saving enough money from his earnings (this was 11 months after pressurizing her husband to reveal his actual monthly earnings to her) .
She does a little business on the side and her husband usually borrows money from her, of which he always pays back. But she felt this shouldn't be so and kept wondering if her husband has a family elsewhere.
Her husband had enough of her rebuke and vehemently told her to pack up and leave the marriage if she was not satisfied with the way he saves his earnings.

Was he right to use such a statement on her? wasn't he taking it too far?

What is so secretive about telling her how much he earns? There should be no secrets in a marriage.

Since she cannot respect her husband, she should pack her bags and leave his house.

Husband wey scarce like dodo person come dey play betnaija with the one wey she manage get.

Continue.

Blessedmercy8:
Let her stop lending him money and leave him to do anyhow he deems fit with his money. She should mind her biz and work very had to take care of herself.

Na him go lose las las.

This mindset doesn't go this way always.

From the story the man foots the bills and pays all money taken from her, no where in the story depicts the lady been the major spender at home . She is just paranoid that the man isn't saving and she didn't state that she contributed as much as the man does even when she is into business.

How then does not lending him money will make him to loose? The story depicts he is well off than the last, best bet is for the man to cut down on the expenses he does that benefits the woman and use that resources to better himself going by your logic.

She has to give the man peace of mind and reduce the violence she has initiated and it's already in the propagation stage . Learning the act of effective communication is vital towards ensuring harmony at home. Communicating in different ways brings different results, but doing that logically and respectfully always most times leads to expected results.

A party to a marriage who does little or no contribution at the home front can not assert himself or herself so much in the control of family resources at home and expect the desired outcome to happen.

Rather than putting ones interest on how much your partner saves it's better to put ones interest on how much both parties save for the future needs of the family. Partnership in finance of the family leads to fewer disagreement and authoritative decisions.

If there is a discussion on how much both parties will contribute for the family saving rather than just one person I don't think there will be much disagreement. The problem here is the financially weaker partner trying to dictate how the financially stronger partner handles his money without recourse to her financial contribution.

faithfull18:
She should find other creative ways to have an idea without asking directly not a reason to leave the marriage. Okay, there's absolutely nothing wrong in a woman knowing how much her husband earns and vice versa.

What is marriage when both parties aren't totally honest and transparent with each other

If they are both sensible people, they should be able to help each other navigate life successfully.

God abeg.

If as a man I take care of my family, make sure they lack nothing why must you insists on knowing my earnings, did you give me job?
I hate women with entitled mentality.