Hi nairalanders, just want to drop this, my wife always brings up issues whenever we are on a good term to the extent that that my neighbors will hear our voice which I don't like, but whenever we are not on talking terms(keeping malice)which she is expert in doing, I always have peace, most times, our neighbors won't know I'm around unless I'm outside,,,

larrybabanla:
Hi nairalanders, just want to drop this, my wife always brings up issues whenever we are on a good term to the extent that that [b]my neighbors will hear our voice [/b]which I don't like, but whenever we are not on talking terms(keeping malice)which she is expert in doing, I always have peace, most times, our neighbors won't know I'm around unless I'm outside,,,

This is what I hate most in a relationship....

Talk to her about it and let her know about the implication, because tomorrow your neighbour would start laughing at you

The same way u should stop bringing ur family issues on nairaland...Solve ur problems with wife behind closed doors..

larrybabanla:
Hi nairalanders, just want to drop this, my wife always brings up issues whenever we are on a good term to the extent that that my neighbors will hear our voice which I don't like, but whenever we are not on talking terms(keeping malice)which she is expert in doing, I always have peace, most times, our neighbors won't know I'm around unless I'm outside,,,

Have you ever wondered what would happen if, rather than avoid her on such days, you actually grew a backbone and both, like adults should, ironed out each issue she brings to the table once and for all?,

I would recommend you make a list of all you claim she nags you about - get a dedicated notebook if you must. Then you both can sit and go slowly through the list, hashing out each detail, closing out each case as a resolution is reached between you two.

Ignoring her hasn't helped at all. So why not give attention to what it is you claim she nags you on, so you both can reach an acceptable resolution. Marriage is a contract agreement between a man and a woman and so long as you are both not in agreement on issues... so long as issues remain 'unsettled', peace cannot reign.

If you cannot do this then you should seek professional marriage counseling for your relationship.

larrybabanla:
Hi nairalanders, just want to drop this, my wife always brings up issues whenever we are on a good term to the extent that that my neighbors will hear our voice which I don't like, but whenever we are not on talking terms(keeping malice)which she is expert in doing, I always have peace, most times, our neighbors won't know I'm around unless I'm outside,,,

Boss..... Just keep quiet and make peace with her... Keep your cool....

Women are troublesome yet beautiful creatures......... Sit her down and talk to her, if she refuses to hear you out, just act dumb and do your thing...

Ok.

Take her out for dinner.

You both should learn to understand each other...that should be the dinner discussion.

Learn to settle things without shouting
.I mean you.

Bombastically00:
The same way u should stop bringing ur family issues on nairaland...Solve ur problems with wife behind closed doors..

Fvck off bros.... Do you know him or his wife?

Seeking advise on a family forum is not bad...... What is bad is making it a habit

Timekeeper:


Fvck off bros.... Do you know him or his wife?

Seeking advise on a family forum is not bad...... What is bad is making it a habit

Even making it a habit no bad gan

Kobojunkie:
Have you ever wondered what would happen if, rather than avoid her on such days, you actually grew a backbone and both, like adults should, ironed out each issue she brings to the table once and for all?,

I would recommend you make a list of all you claim she nags you about - get a dedicated notebook if you must. Then you both can sit and go slowly through the list, hashing out each detail, closing out each case as a resolution is reached between you two.

Ignoring her hasn't helped at all. So why not give attention to what it is she nags so you both reach a resolution that both can accept. Marriage is a contract agreement between a man and a woman and so long as you are both not in agreement on issues... so long as issues remain 'unsettled', peace cannot reign.

If you cannot do this then you should seek professional marriage counseling for your relationship.

Nice suggestion

the only weapon best know to women since time immemorial

Kucoin:
the only weapon best know to women since time immemorial

It isn't a weapon but instead a cry that eventually turns to an echo over time.

No man or woman who nags does so out of enjoyment. The tear it deals each time oh their own psyche is testimony to this. Everyone longs for and enjoys peace and the sooner you your partner get back to that place of peace, the better for you too.

It's wrong! That is not a family you are just neighbours Why would you have peace when you are not communicating with your wife, I don't understand It's better you know your differences and settle it.

Kobojunkie:
It isn't a weapon but instead a cry that eventually turns to an echo over time.

No man or woman who nags does so out of enjoyment. The tear it deals each time oh their own psyche is testimony to this. Everyone longs for and enjoys peace and the sooner you your partner get back to that place of peace, the better for you too.

you're right... what am trying to say is that. just as men goes physical most time to 'cry' out their frustration/annoyance/angers, same way women goes mentally(through nagging) to carry out theirs.

The solution to nagging is to remain unmarried

Kucoin:
you're right... what am trying to say is that. just as men goes physical most time to 'cry' out their frustration/annoyance/angers, same way women goes mentally(through nagging) to carry out theirs.

1. There is no such thing as men alone going "physical" to 'cry' out,
... that is a stereotype that is not based on fact. Instead individuals(male and female alike) choose a mode of letting off steam, and the decision as to how can be influenced by environment, upbringing etc.

In Nigeria for example, where individuals are exposed to violence from child hood, some men take out their emotional stress on their wives and girlfrends or even siblings whereas women typically take theirs out on their children, maids, and sometimes husbands.

2. The notion that women alone nag is another stereotype. Both men and women nag and it isn't really an effective way of letting off steam so it shouldn't even be considered such.

In a place like Nigeria where women are typically marked by stereotype as being the naggers, you rarely find women complain of their men nagging because they have mostly been programmed to believe the fault is theirs.

Why did you marry at first?

Olarsview:
The solution to nagging is to remain unmarried

Nagging can happen in any kind of relationship, so unless you are planning to live on an island away from humans, I suggest you instead educate yourself on what nagging is really about and how you can tackle it in your relationships.

There are people out there who have bosses that are naggers and they are not always victims in it.

Kobojunkie:
Nagging can happen in any kind of relationship, so unless you are planning to live on an island away from humans, I suggest you instead educate yourself on what nagging is really about and how you can tackle it in your relationships.

There are people out there who have bosses that are naggers and they are not always victims in it.

So? Your choice ain't mine.....it's their nature to nag. If you don't want it stay away. I'm not talking of people that conform with anything at expense of their peace

Olarsview:
So?

Rather than avoid relationships altogether, learn conflict resolution skills.

Kobojunkie:
Rather than avoid relationship skills, learn conflict resolution skills.

My time my life for mundane things. No

Even if you learn everything in the world on conflicts resolution you wouldn't beat their reach. Trying to take bullets for negative traits from women will hurt for a life time.

The place of communication should never be ignored or taken for granted in a relationship. You should be able to discuss things like this with your partner with the assurance that she will understand to some extent if not fully. Don't marry someone you cannot communicate well with.

Olarsview:
My time my life for mundane things. No

Even if you learn everything in the world on conflicts resolution you wouldn't beat their reach. Trying to take bullets for negative traits from women will hurt for a life time.

Nagging is gender-neutral - men also nag just as much as women do.

These are skills we are meant to have learned as skills but because of upbringing, many grow up deprived of such vital skills. Learning these conflict resolution skills in one's adult years has been shown to be of equally great benefit so it is not a waste to invest time in such things.

Kobojunkie:
Nagging is gender-neutral - men also nag just as much as women do.

These are skills we are meant to have learned as skills but because of upbringing, many grow up deprived of such vital skills. Learning these conflict resolution skills in one's adult years has been shown to be of
similar benefit so it is not a waste to invest time in such things.

Like learning how to tame a snake. If not biblical NO

Olarsview:
Like learning how to tame a snake. If not biblical NO

Conflict resolution has absolutely nothing to do with "taming" anyone , not even you consider a snake. If anything, it helps you learn how to better relate to others and where they are coming from.

Anyways, like you said, your life, your pot of gruel!

Kobojunkie:
Conflict resolution has absolutely nothing to do with "taming" anyone , not even you consider a snake. If anything, it helps you learn how to better relate to others and where they are coming from.

Anyways, like you said, your life, your pot of gruel!

Life is what you make of it. You can't beat the reach of a woman. Nagging or not.

Kobojunkie:
Have you ever wondered what would happen if, rather than avoid her on such days, you actually grew a backbone and both, like adults should, ironed out each issue she brings to the table once and for all?,

I would recommend you make a list of all you claim she nags you about - get a dedicated notebook if you must. Then you both can sit and go slowly through the list, hashing out each detail, closing out each case as a resolution is reached between you two.

Ignoring her hasn't helped at all. So why not give attention to what it is you claim she nags you on, so you both can reach an acceptable resolution. Marriage is a contract agreement between a man and a woman and so long as you are both not in agreement on issues... so long as issues remain 'unsettled', peace cannot reign.

If you cannot do this then you should seek professional marriage counseling for your relationship.

you sound as if you don't know some women are naturally problematic. The issue is once you missed it and enter marriage with one it takes grace of God to get you out in one piece.

Mikeeytools:
you sound as if you don't know some women are naturally problematic. The issue is once you missed it and enter marriage with one it takes grace of God to get you out in one piece.

It doesn't take the grace of God , instead it takes common sense, what you know also as wisdom, to properly and maturedly tackle relationship issues, including marriage in and of itself.

So rather than continue to shift responsibility to God, take ownership of your own marriage and learn from even the professional marriage counselors, how to probably resolve the conflicts between you and your spouse.

God already informed you that you marriage is of this world and not of His Kingdom. - Luke 20 vs 34 - 36. The sooner you wiseup to the meaning in that teaching, the sooner you can begin seeing that the solution you seek in your relationship begins only when you start to act on wisdom already available here to even you.

Timekeeper:


Fvck off bros.... Do you know him or his wife?

Seeking advise on a family forum is not bad...... What is bad is making it a habit

don't mind him, as if he knows the guy. If everybody keeps their problem to themselves, the rate of depression and suicide will skyrocket to an unprecedented level. People will just open their mouth and be talking anyhow....

larrybabanla:
Hi nairalanders, just want to drop this, my wife always brings up issues whenever we are on a good term to the extent that that my neighbors will hear our voice which I don't like, but whenever we are not on talking terms(keeping malice)which she is expert in doing, I always have peace, most times, our neighbors won't know I'm around unless I'm outside,,,

You're keeping malice with your wife, and you still eat her food

Kikikikikiki
Bros OP, otapiapia no too cost liadat o...

A person nags either because of the continual thoughtlessness of the person hir nags or because of hir own insatiableness. So, the first step towards finding a solution to the issue is by being truthful to yourself on whether you've always been thoughtful towards her or not; if the answer is no, then the problem lies with you and the onus is on you to turn over a new leaf, but if yes, then the problem lies with her and a good-no nonsense-carefree attitude from you will make her turn over a new leaf by force.

Funny you, we Don sort am out, better people for the platform don lecture me

Favfables1:


You're keeping malice with your wife, and you still eat her food

Kikikikikiki
Bros OP, otapiapia no too cost liadat o...