Greetings everyone, didn't know the right section to post this but I hope I'll get the audience I need here.
This is actually about my way of life and how I can stop if possible, there's more to say but I'll be very brief.
Problem is I care for people too much, I'm very considerate of how people will feel whenever I utter certain things to them. I think about every of my actions and how it'll affect anyone around me, I forgive people easily without apologies, I can also be selfless at times and it's starting to seem odd. I seem quite unfortunate meeting people who are mainly opposite to my kind. This is something my Mom does, I regret taking that particular trait especially for the fact I'm male. I want to develop a tough skin against criticism and bad vibes, I want to minimize the way I care for people around me because I've regretted doing so many times when I don't receive it back.
How can I achieve all these?

It's either u are PISCES or CANCER, which are u should my guess is right?

Satanisreal:
Greetings everyone, didn't know the right section to post this but I hope I'll get the audience I need here.
This is actually about my way of life and how I can stop if possible, there's more to say but I'll be very brief.
Problem is I care for people too much, I'm very considerate of how people will feel whenever I utter certain things to them. I think about every of my actions and how it'll affect anyone around me, I forgive people easily without apologies, I can also be selfless at times and it's starting to seem odd. I seem quite unfortunate meeting people who are mainly opposite to my kind. This is something my Mom does, I regret taking that particular trait especially for the fact I'm male. I want to develop a tough skin against criticism and bad vibes, I want to minimize the way I care for people around me because I've regretted doing so many times when I don't receive it back.
How can I achieve all these?

I'm in your shoes, bro.
I have tried growing tough skin over people's inconsiderate and sadistic attitudes towards me...I observed the tougher or hardened I turned, the angrier and restless i appeared to myself.
Hardness only ends up hurting my own heart and most times leaves me feeling guilty.

I turned out to realize that I can't really develop the tough bark. May be that's just the best way I can have a healthy mental life.

I came up with the principle to stay on my lane not in antagonism nor bitterness towards others... respecting myself and respecting other's integrity....and not easily drawn nor swept off by another's point of view.

That's the kind of tough skin I developed...not that of a villain character.

My view may be totally off on how you could help yourself...soft people developing tough and hardened personality end up hurting themselves...you end up weeping and blaming yourself behind the scene.

It's not easy to manage people..men are shades of many colours.

Satanisreal:

Problem is I care for people too much, I'm very considerate of how people will feel whenever I utter certain things to them. I think about every of my actions and how it'll affect anyone around me, I forgive people easily without apologies, I can also be selfless at times and it's starting to seem odd. I seem quite unfortunate meeting people who are mainly opposite to my kind. This is something my Mom does, I regret taking that particular trait especially for the fact I'm male. I want to develop a tough skin against criticism and bad vibes, I want to minimize the way I care for people around me because I've regretted doing so many times when I don't receive it back.
How can I achieve all these?

If na oyibo man get this kind mind now, im for Don Channel am into something he can use to help humanity with.

Rather than destroy what is a "gift" as far Nigeria is concerned , seek ways to harness it into something beneficial for you and those who matter.

Date a prostitute and be serious with her.

She'll break your heart so tey, there will be nothing left to break.


Find a book that addresses the problem and read religiously.

I'd suggest 48 laws of power.

Satanisreal:
Greetings everyone, didn't know the right section to post this but I hope I'll get the audience I need here.
This is actually about my way of life and how I can stop if possible, there's more to say but I'll be very brief.
Problem is I care for people too much, I'm very considerate of how people will feel whenever I utter certain things to them. I think about every of my actions and how it'll affect anyone around me, I forgive people easily without apologies, I can also be selfless at times and it's starting to seem odd. I seem quite unfortunate meeting people who are mainly opposite to my kind. This is something my Mom does, I regret taking that particular trait especially for the fact I'm male. I want to develop a tough skin against criticism and bad vibes, I want to minimize the way I care for people around me because I've regretted doing so many times when I don't receive it back.
How can I achieve all these?

I used to be like you, bro. It would only get you hurt and people will use you. #exhales#

Read the 48 Laws of Power first. It's a book about manipulation and deception, but the book was written to protect your kind. Yes, to protect you and build you. If you are too lazy to read it, embrace The Red Pill philosophies...you can even read books on Stoicism.

The Red Pill and Stoicism doesn't create monsters, but it only transforms weak men to be more masculine. The only movement that creates delusional monsters is feminism.

I used to be a Yes man. My cousin almost cried saying he wants to me. I told him read, learn, practice, unlearn, make mistakes, learn and grow.

I did something today that most guy in rage mode would call simping, but it wasn't. With The Red Pill knowledge, you can discern who really needs help, and who's a faker.

Be kind, but not nice. You are a nice and probably a weak man. Learning how to say No, will fix lot of your problems.

If you want to remain the way you are, ignore my stupid message. Peace!


cc: Andercruz

@Kobojunkie
If na oyibo man get this kind mind now, im for Don Channel am into something he can use to help humanity with.

Rather than destiny what is a "gift" as far Nigeria is concerned , seek ways to harness it into something beneficial for you and those who matter. :-



@me
Why are you always in the habit of condemning anything Nigerian ? That you live abroad should not blindfold you into thinking that everything oyibo is right and everything Nigerian is wrong.

Some of us that live here have trained and worked with some of these oyibos. Like any other race some are exceptionally good in brilliance and character while some are totally trash. I have had course to shout down some of them because I believe that even in their country some of us can match them if not above them.

That our political leaders have messed up the country does not mean that Nigerians are messed up. Drop your "been to" mentality. Eno dey sell again.

Vision101:
@Kobojunkie
If na oyibo man get this kind mind now, im for Don Channel am into something he can use to help humanity with.

Rather than destiny what is a "gift" as far Nigeria is concerned , seek ways to harness it into something beneficial for you and those who matter. :-



@me
Why are you always in the habit of condemning anything Nigerian ? That you live abroad should not blindfold you into thinking that everything oyibo is right and everything Nigerian is wrong.

Some of us that live here have trained and worked with some of these oyibos. Like any other race some are exceptionally good in brilliance and character while some are totally trash. I have had course to shout down some of them because I believe that even in their country some of us can match them if not above them.

That our political leaders have messed up the country does not mean that Nigerians are messed up. Drop your "been to" mentality. Eno dey sell again.

Exactly...

You are a lucky but you don't know the value of what you have. Leave your mind the way it is. It will pay you better in the long run than the rugged mind you are looking for.

bigjackass:
You are a lucky but you don't know the value of what you have. Leave your mind the way it is. It will pay you better in the long run than the rugged mind you are looking for.

He doesn't seem to know what he has is gold.

Many people out there full church dey pray make God give them that kind mind so they can love their neighbors and have what they call forgiving spirit, and peace that comes along with it.

Kobojunkie:
He doesn't seem to know what he has is gold.

Many people out there full church dey pray make God give them that kind mind so they can love their neighbors and have what they call forgiving spirit, and peace that comes along with it.

I'm trying to see the good that comes with it because like I said I meet people who are quite opposite of me and they all seem fine.

Satanisreal:

I'm trying to see the good that comes with it because like I said I meet people who are quite opposite of me and they all seem fine.

No doubt at all that those opposite of you are the vast majority in Nigeria but it would be foolish of you to trade what you have so you can become like the majority monsters.

There are very many ways to use what you have to try to cause change so those after you, born with similar gift, have a place in the society. Stand firm, become wiser and more cunning, like Jesus Christ said, and be patient... abeg, don't become like the majority who are in fact more foolish than you may know.

Please don't change because we need people like you in this wicked world. It's a little peaceful with you in it. Don't change because a few people have decided to not understand and appreciate goodness.

It's even difficult to change but you can make it work for you. Learn to manage it and not get exploited for it. Be sensitive to the responses of people around you and how the relate about others to you.

Let your spirit be alive to warn you those you should and shouldn't move close to.

You are sowing seeds into your life, your future and that of your children so don't allow some ingrates to deny you of your reward.

While reading, I first sensed that you're an empath. But reading further, I realised you just have a people-pleasing trait (this is debatable tho).
You don't need a tough skin (this often is a coping mechanism), what you need is self-care.

And here are a few tips to go about that;
1. Have principles and boundaries and let those you relate with, even people you are meeting for the first time know this. People will try to test you, so you must be firm about it.

2. Let people earn anything (almost) they get from you. Respect, relationships, financial favours, and even loyalty.

3. Don't be a doormat. I mean the one everyone uses and dump.

4. With the exception of certain people, only do for people things that are convenient for you.

5. You need to reevaluate your self-esteem and self-worth. Back them up with positive affirmations.

6. You need to start seeing criticism differently. See it as a way to be better or projections of people, not as a way to give in to people whims and schemes.

A lot of criticism you will get will come from people who want you to play by their rules. It's just a way to make you bend, see yourself smaller, and aim to get their accolades.

I particularly, do not appreciate praises. It often plays out as criticism. People who dish it often just want you to play by their rules.

So, start seeing criticism differently and stop doing acts that you think will get no criticism.


However, Robert Greene books will help. They will help you uncover the power plays in every of your interaction and in the configuration of the world.

You can also go for The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**K by Mark Manson.

I hope these help.

Satanisreal:
Greetings everyone, didn't know the right section to post this but I hope I'll get the audience I need here.
This is actually about my way of life and how I can stop if possible, there's more to say but I'll be very brief.
Problem is I care for people too much, I'm very considerate of how people will feel whenever I utter certain things to them. I think about every of my actions and how it'll affect anyone around me, I forgive people easily without apologies, I can also be selfless at times and it's starting to seem odd. I seem quite unfortunate meeting people who are mainly opposite to my kind. This is something my Mom does, I regret taking that particular trait especially for the fact I'm male. I want to develop a tough skin against criticism and bad vibes, I want to minimize the way I care for people around me because I've regretted doing so many times when I don't receive it back.
How can I achieve all these?

It is difficult I know, but don't try and change who you are. God created you that way for a reason. Don't fix your eyes and heart on how people take you for granted.

oazeez1991:
It's either u are PISCES or CANCER, which are u should my guess is right?

Agree with you about Cancer..

Mryacks:


Agree with you about Cancer..

I never knew Cancers were soft minded people.

Mariangeles:
I never knew Cancers were soft minded people.

The one's I know aren't at all.

Annwrites:
While reading, I first sensed that you're an empath. But reading further, I realised you just have a people-pleasing trait (this is debatable tho).
You don't need a tough skin (this often is a coping mechanism), what you need is self-care.

And here are a few tips to go about that;
1. Have principles and boundaries and let those you relate with, even people you are meeting for the first time know this. People will try to test you, so you must be firm about it.

2. Let people earn anything (almost) they get from you. Respect, relationships, financial favours, and even loyalty.

3. Don't be a doormat. I mean the one everyone uses and dump.

4. With the exception of certain people, only do for people things that are convenient for you.

5. You need to reevaluate your self-esteem and self-worth. Back them up with positive affirmations.

6. You need to start seeing criticism differently. See it as a way to be better or projections of people, not as a way to give in to people whims and schemes.

A lot of criticism you will get will come from people who want you to play by their rules. It's just a way to make you bend, see yourself smaller, and aim to get their accolades.

I particularly, do not appreciate praises. It often plays out as criticism. People who dish it often just want you to play by their rules.

So, start seeing criticism differently and stop doing acts that you think will get no criticism.


However, Robert Greene books will help. They will help you uncover the power plays in every of your interaction and in the configuration of the world.

You can also go for The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**K by Mark Manson.

I hope these help.

Thanks a lot

Kobojunkie:
The one's I know aren't at all.

Right?