K

Marry anybody but avoid lady's with flat nyash their wahala no be here

Am 10yrs in marriage today. It's a unique institution on its own. you don't finish learning, neither do you finish teaching.
Sacrifice and endurance are 2 basic properties couples need to have to make a marriage better.
My 2 cents from My experience. lol.

I had to resign from work to return to medical school in 2015.

This decision affected our income as a family. Things really hit us hard.

The side hustles I was doing were barely enough. My wife stood by me those years, especially when things were awfully low.

Now, things are much better; we now have a steady income that is enough to get us going.

I am still away; she has to deal with the kids alone. In an entire year, I visit home two to three times.

It's tough on her, really tough, but she never complains. She remains supportive. Very loyal and respectful.

I don't play with her.

We are married for seven years now and it still feels like we just got married.

I am a lucky guy.

Marriage works.

Acidosis:

There's no such thing as my wife standing by me in difficult times. We are both in the marriage. If sapa comes visiting, na the two of us go suffer. If she leaves, I leave too but... hey, she won't and I won't too.

If married folks know this fact,they won't have issues in marriages. Its 50/50,no be one-sided thing to kill the man with burden..

Na man you be op

Na by story?

See this one. Everybody get good story o. Even the people wey divorce still get good story. Even the guy wey dey talk say his wife get guts still get some good stories.

At the end of the day, they're all stories. Your father and mother only show you what they want you to see. Parents are the greatest scammers in existence. They can hide reality for Africa. Big con artists

firstbornson:
Some years ago while my father was still in the Civil Service commission, I remember a particular incident that led to his temporal suspension from the office. Someone framed him and all that. I won't bother you about the details. However, this incident took over 8 months before it was resolved. Prior to this time, we lived a very comfortable life.

What my mom did in the light of this situation is what I won't forget in a hurry.

We mom started selling cold "pure" water and drinks.

We went back to the farm, planting yam and cassava and the rest.

All these coupled with some money my father had saved kept us all.

We didn't stop school.

My mom didn't create a scene that will bring elders from the village to "settle" issue.

My mom stood by my father.

In your very own church mind, can you see any of these ones that flock after Yahoo boys and engage in runzgeys just to own iPhone 11 Pro, selling pure water or bottle water to support their families?

Times have changed. Let's embrace the society we found ourselves. The irony is that children of this generation were actually raised by people of your mom's generation.... question now is how did we get here?

KiNg0G:
If your in your early 20, marriage issue nor supposed consign you.

My pickin start to reason how to plan your life first

And I begin to wonder how our fathers marry early

BKayy:
From what I've read about marriages on this forum, it is safe to say that most Nairaland married folks (more than 95%) are in terrible, bitter and toxic marriages.

Well no pity from me by the way. I don't feel sorry for matured people that used their hands to dig their graces. You can't tell me that as an adult that you didn't see signs before taking or being taken by a toxic fellow.

My marriage is very blissful, I will marry my wife over and over again. I love her so much and she respects me. The thing is no two marriages are the same finds what's makes you happy

My parents were married for 33 years before my dad's demise. My dad was a regional manager and my mum a banker back in the days. My dad suggested my mom quit banking and focus on us. Unfortunately, shortly after came the Structural Adjustment Program (SAP) and my dad was laid off.

At some point my mom suggested going into food selling business but my dad objected out of pride. She later started small and the business came through for the family since it provided shelter and food for us. At that time, my dad joined in support despite getting a new job and it became our family business.

As for me, I got married at a point I was starting another graduate degree (this time without any funding whatsoever) and the little money I has want going to see us through. My wife supported with the funds she had and stayed through even when it seemed we were so broke. Upon completion of my program, it took about 6 months to get my desired job and in between, we both had to do a minimum paying job and manage our baby in between the job.

She's so much supportive of me and vice versa. We discussed how to navigate any terrain we find ourselves and I think that is what we should encourage people to discuss while dating so that they know what to expect in awkward situations.

cassidy1996:
Being married is not easy, but patience and endurance is needed

if not for my wife, i for nor do this Christmas . GOD bless my wife

Amen

Newboss:
Na by story?

See this one. Everybody get good story o. Even the people wey divorce still get good story. Even the guy wey dey talk say his wife get guts still get some good stories.

At the end of the day, they're all stories. Your father and mother only show you what they want you to see. Parents are the greatest scammers in existence. They can hide reality for Africa. Big con artists

No relationship is entirely perfect. Our relationship with God, as a matter of fact, is not perfect. We still have Him because He continuously forgives our sins.

We are not perfect beings. Roommates, colleagues, friends, neighbours have problems. The same is applicable to marriage.

What matters is our ability to downplay our inefficiencies, improve on ourselves, and maximize the wonderful moments we offer ourselves while being entirely thankful to God Almighty for the gift of marriage.

Charmingrascal:
I remember when Mum bought Dad a car with her salaries that she saved that year.

The things I read about marriages these days makes me dread marriage. But I know that by 2023 that I will be getting married na perfect woman God go give me.

So shall it be according to your faith. Just note that most of those people having negative comments here on nairaland are from ' troubled' homes with failed marriages. So their experiences doesnt not necessarily have to be the truth

God always bless kids from this type of mothers

firstbornson:
Some years ago while my father was still in the Civil Service commission, I remember a particular incident that led to his temporal suspension from the office. Someone framed him and all that. I won't bother you about the details. However, this incident took over 8 months before it was resolved. Prior to this time, we lived a very comfortable life.

What my mom did in the light of this situation is what I won't forget in a hurry.

We mom started selling cold "pure" water and drinks.

We went back to the farm, planting yam and cassava and the rest.

All these coupled with some money my father had saved kept us all.

We didn't stop school.

My mom didn't create a scene that will bring elders from the village to "settle" issue.

My mom stood by my father.

KiNg0G:

my son becareful, your still immature to understand the words of elders.

Oga Understand English first and basic spelling. It's concern not consign

smadav:

My marriage is very blissful, I will marry my wife over and over again. I love her so much and she respects me. The thing is no two marriages are the same finds what's makes you happy

Lovely

I love this thread

Funny how most of the stories range from about 20 to 30 years ago.

Lightway:
Men should not fall for this useless thread

Women on these days are not women of before..

This generation is useless

Are your sisters part of this statistics as mine are not. They have been married for years and not once did they come to complain about their husband and vice versa.

Surprisingly, thinking about it now, the marriages I witnessed were those of about-to-be-wedded fiance/fiancee, separated spouses, and err… yeye bf-gf relationships that are bound to discover the center of the earth.

I always believe in good days and good marriages. Trust me, if we wan do busi-body small, we go discover say dem boku for Naija.

Evercurious:


So shall it be according to your faith. Just note that most of those people having negative comments here on nairaland are from ' troubled' homes with failed marriages. So their experiences doesnt not necessarily have to be the truth

Lol! You funny sha.

But that's the point of this thread: just as you have failed marriages, you also have successful marriage, so it's a matter of ones being true or not, it's about individual experiences, some good, some bad

Lightway:
Men should not fall for this useless thread

Women on these days are not women of before..

This generation is useless

If we do a survey of failed marriages, we'd discover that men and women are both responsible.

Do we also conclude that men of these days are 'not men of before'?

Is the current generation of men also useless?

Raalsalghul:
Funny how most of the stories range from about 20 to 30 years ago.

Abi o. Which raises the question, if everyone supposedly had parents with blissful marriages, why is this generation finding it so difficult so settle down and get along?

yuping:
Good idea, I still remember when popsy did not get any contract for 2years mom was up and doing that woman sabi manage house even they feed neighbors, our last born takes after her. Sometimes whenever I read about bad marriages here on NL I always use my parent to have confidence that I can have a family of my own 32+ of marriage no be beans, but nairaland women/girls don't like saying their own side of the story shaa. Still sums up to their lazy altitude and negligent. Women of nowadays not don't want to do anything at all even in class they will still beg you to do their assignment.
They should just do more, I'm not trying to bash them or anything I have sisters too but they should do more and be more in the society in general.

Some Women of nowadays

Our Mothers were hard working and supportive.
Our Modern ladies are very lazy. Wants everything, to be treated like queens without lifting a finger. They money is they money, your money is our money.

Crazy generation...

Our generation marriages is caging, stressful, pressuring and demanding. Even those who are financially okay still complain. A woman needs can never be satisfied. You imagine the Ile-Ife saga nau.

All you need as a man is to be wise (get sense) and you will be okay. Do kill yourself. Enjoy ur life codely.

Largely endurance.

Haha I believe some marriages are lovely, good sides sometimes outweigh the bad sides. I say this from a personal experience. “ Without my mums support and sacrifices, I don’t think my dad will be the man he is today” . Only God knows this for a fact but from what ive seen with my eyes since I was a kid living in my fathers rented 1 room apartment, driving a kitty saloon haha to when we moved to his 7 bedroom mansion, owning SUVs Benz etc Chale smh. A good wife is sweet I guess. But a bad wife or marriage will kill you early. This I think although I’m not married yet lol but I’m over due oh based on Nigeria calculation

Lightway:
Men should not fall for this useless thread

Women on these days are not women of before..

This is the summary of it all. Our mothers were contented, were homely, weren't materialistic and weren't polluted by western influences as much as this generation is.

Marriage then was truly for better or for worse but now it is based on interests from both parties just like politics and when the interest of one partner is no longer served, they leave.

This is what marriage has now become globally that is why the rate of divorce globally has increased. The earlier we come to terms with this bitter truth, the better for us.. To be fore warned is to be fore armed

Bola146:
Just pray and work towards it for your own better half partner.

Just plan and work towards it. That is how Europe developed,same with Asia and North America.

We should learn not to abuse prayers especially Nigerians.