Magnoliaa:

If you never wanted to be engaged or challenged, you wouldn't put your thoughts our here, especially about women. And more glaring is the fact that you've refused to admit that you've had a bad experience at the hands of women. Why would you say things you cannot defend?? Why??

I have never ever have any bad experience with any woman or lady, I have the most amazing mother, beautiful sisters and amazing ex girlfriends, the proof is all I hear about this DNA stuff is horible, terrible is enough.
But I see your point in speaking up for the ladies, I won't want anyone to judge me with the ways other Men behave.
That said I don't bash ladies, I won't start bashing them or hide behind anything to bash them.
If you the ladies see the statement "all ladies should improve on themselves" as bashing then They should start working on them selves on altitude and comprehension (no offense)
I don't see how encouragement should be an insults.
Thanks for your pointers, I meant no harm
#peace

yuping:
I have never ever have any bad experience with any woman or lady, I have the most amazing mother, beautiful sisters and amazing ex girlfriends, the proof is all I hear about this DNA stuff is horible, terrible is enough.
But I see your point in speaking up for the ladies, I won't want anyone to judge me with the ways other Men behave.
That said I don't bash ladies, I won't start bashing them or hide behind anything to bash them.
If you the ladies see the statement "all ladies should improve on themselves" as bashing then They should start working on them selves on altitude and comprehension (no offense)
I don't see how encouragement should be an insults.
Thanks for your pointers, I meant no harm
#peace

We're getting somewhere... Your few words have answered over 50% of my questions, so I'm getting sated.

You. Are. Twisting. Things. Calm down.

Let's establish some facts-

FIrstly, you've never had any bad experiences with women. You know good women. Therefore, the women around you are awesome and amazing and sweet and great. They do very well. So I wonder which 'more' you're telling women to do? Are the women around you not doing enough?

Secondly, you do not know any Nairaland lady personally, so you have no basis nor proofs to call us any names.

You're just bringing up the DNA stuff. You've never mentioned anything about DNA in your previous comments. I was responding to those. DNA is another topic.

Thirdly, I think we can agree that most of the things you hear other men say and believe are lies... because you cannot bring any simple and logical example.

You can say you don't bash ladies all you want - but your initial comment was a bash and belittling to ladies - deny however you want or whitewash and spin all you lile. Lazy, negligent, terrible, dumb heads (remember you said they can't do assignments in class).

Why should ALL ladies improve on themselves, when you know SOME great women? Your mom is okay, your sisters are nice, your exes are cool --- are you saying they are amongst the general population of women and they need improvements, too?

Aside the DNA issue, you have not said A SINGLE SPECIFIC THING that makes ladies bad. Soo improve on WHAT? Do more what? You haven't said anything in particular.

People understand things differently, and I am the only one taking you up on this right here, other women are not quoting you, are they? You're talking to me, other ladies aren't arguing with you... so saying ladies should start working on their comprehension and attitude because they misunderstood you is off-point.

Which ladies are you talking to? What attitudes and comprehension should they (or should I) work on? Why do you think women aren't working on themselves? Are they low on comprehension levels and deficient in attitude because 'they' misunderstood your post? Or their attitudes and comprehension is generally bad?

Did you truly intend that phrase as an encouragement or as a criticism? If you have or had nothing against ladies, why didn't you praise them? On a thread meant for sharing good stories and positivities? Why did you somehow have to bring in your perceived deficiencies of women after you finished praising your mother?

When you don't know 90% of ladies- offline/online; you've never had any bad experiences with them, and you can't even pinpoint a single terrible thing such ladies do: I wonder what it is you're telling them to improve on.

See ehn, I know you will keep denying. Y'all will rather exaggerate and punctuate and lecture and list and criticise and analyse all the bad things about women because you want to bash them and it gives you a thrill and because you see other men doing it, so you want to feel among (the nerve of you to say NL ladies are lazy , or we're lazy BECAUSE we don't comment). Yet to say one positive thing about women would be so hard for you to do. If you were coming from a good place and you had a good heart/mind towards women (as far as online relations are concerned sha), you would have only said good things about women and appreciated them and praised them and commended them. You would have. I see no reason why you shouldn't. Instead, you said about 40 or 50 per cent good things about your mom, and the remaining per cent you said bad things/criticisms -- that you cannot even defend. You obviously have nothing stimulating to say to me.

Happy New Year In Advance, jare. Go and continue sinning and forming gum body to be saying nonsense about women, without pausing to think of what you're being fed by misogynists.

Magnoliaa:

Continue sinning, smiles all is well.

I'm glad i stumbled on this thread

My own parents' marriage is nothing to write home about; will be 37years old in February. I grew up in a highly dysfunctional Christian home where my parents would keep malice with each other for 3/4months,go to church and act like Deacon/Deaconess. infact, we would still hold morning devotion daily sef with only my mom coordinating,i couldn't go to school for some days especially when the quarrel was 'fresh' because if i ask my dad for tfare; he would refer me to my mom and vice versa. That's how I'd end up staying at home.
Trust we children to pick the malicious attitude- my sister and I would keep malice for weeks/months sef; no matter what my mom says we wont bulge. Its that bad!
I'm glad i made conscious effort to stop keeping malice even when i try so hard to do so now; I just cant!.

Because my parents' marriage is whack and i dont pray for my archenemy to have such; i watched and prayed very well before marrying. I was- maybe- petty about my choice- you cant be a dirty guy; i would run
If you are not a lil bit(20% sef) domesticated,i would run. My papa no fit use hin hand wash hin pants; he'd rather wear it like that.
If you pick quarrels easily with people around you,i pick race. My dad has no friend! He fights everybody on the street,at work,in church. His life is never peaceful; I kid you not.
If you cant renew your drivers' licence/ change your car tires in good time; i would run. My dad would never do any of this. No! Money isnt the problem. He'd rather travel at night than renew his licence.To me; you are not responsible if you do all these.
These points are petty right? But it's what my father is( dont get me wrong; he is a very good father but the most wicked husband I've seen in my entire life).

When people ask if there are good marriages i beat my chest and say whatever I say about my marriage is what it is; regardless of our very occasional nasty fights which is part of the whole God-ordained thingy.I'm glad to have married a great guy( i looked and looked for all these petty things before i followed him) and I always pray it continues this way because my father didnt hate his wife before he married her.

Marry your friend sha; e get why

firstbornson:


Yes o.

We now live in our own house, a 4-bedroom duplex with one well furnished Visitor's room and a Master bedroom for my parents. Though my dad is retired, his pension and her salary is keeping them afloat.

Just yesterday, she was paying some ladies that comes to clean the entire house every month and wash the curtains. This is a luxury we could not afford before now.

Happy to hear that. I love stories like this because it clearly affirm that patience pays if followed with a godly mindset. I hope many young adults females hoping to get married would learn lessons from this story.

yuping:
Good idea, I still remember when popsy did not get any contract for 2years mom was up and doing that woman sabi manage house even they feed neighbors, our last born takes after her. Sometimes whenever I read about bad marriages here on NL I always use my parent to have confidence that I can have a family of my own 32+ of marriage no be beans, but nairaland women/girls don't like saying their own side of the story sha. Still sums up to their lazy altitude and negligent. Women of nowadays don't want to do anything at all even in class they will still beg you to do their assignment.
They should just do more, I'm not trying to bash them or anything I have sisters too but they should do more and be more in the society in general.

@bolded
This is not entirely correct!

Most ladies here would want to contribute intelligently to most threads, but they desist from doing so because they'll be bashed if they share their Honest opinions and it goes against the popular opinion.

Guys on this forum are mostly immature, razz and foul mouthed, so most ladies would rather keep silent and read news or change their gender to m.

Only few have the confidence to contribute on various topics. I've commented severally on issues bordering on marriage in the past, and how I bring a lot to the table to help my spouse and support him and everyone started quoting me left right and centre saying all sorts of crap.

I just quietly made up my mind to stop passing comments on this forum, especially positive ones. It's almost as if they're allergic to good news or good marriages because theirs didn't work out.

Of course we know that offline, in the real world, a lot of women are the breadwinner in their homes, toiling day and night to support their spouses, send the kids to school etc. Who are the women in the markets selling different stuffs, teachers, caterers, canteen operators, nurses, bankers, hairdressers, tailors etc toiling day and night in their shops to make money?? Are they not our wives, daughters, mothers, sisters etc...... So why would somebody say women are lazy and don't want to do anything??

Maybe the slay queens and jobless students y'all hang out with sha, but everywhere around me, lots of women are Hardworking and bring a lot to the table, even sometimes more than their spouses. Yet we women don't go about opening countless threads to wail about how we bring money to run the home and our husbands do nothing to assist even when the workload is unbearable.

apatheticme:

Women are hard working we all know this,
we live in a cold word (lil Wayne says nobody give you chance you gat to take chances) its still some up to what we are saying they expect everything to be hand over to them, you have to speak up for your voice to be heard.
All this boys yabbing some of them if you stand up to them they won't reply you back, I have been called worse here, so many people have been drag also for lesser things. They should contribute I personally want to hear from them.
But is not by force for them to comment but if their excuses is the bashing then they are not ready for this unfair world.
Sometimes I don't even have the strength to reply of feel like replying but you just need to hightlight ignorant and show people who are really ready to learn the way.
But is all good.
God knows best.

Charmingrascal:
I remember when Mum bought Dad a car with her salaries that she saved that year.

The things I read about marriages these days makes me dread marriage. But I know that by 2023 that I will be getting married na perfect woman God go give me.

Amen to Your Prayers but Remember, there is No Perfect Human anywhere and Your Imperfections will also Triggers your Wife Imperfections but Once both of You are Committed to the Values of God to a larger reasonable extent be Rest Assured You shall have a satisfactory Marriage, Amen.

TONYE001:
I had to resign from work to return to medical school in 2015.

This decision affected our income as a family. Things really hit us hard.

The side hustles I was doing were barely enough. My wife stood by me those years, especially when things were awfully low.

Now, things are much better; we now have a steady income that is enough to get us going.

I am still away; she has to deal with the kids alone. In an entire year, I visit home two to three times.

It's tough on her, really tough, but she never complains. She remains supportive. Very loyal and respectful.

I don't play with her.

We are married for seven years now and it still feels like we just got married.

I am a lucky guy.

Marriage works.

God will continue to Bless You.

.

tuoyoojo:
Marriage bad, marriage bad

Yet u see people marrying every Saturday

Let me ask you, what makes breaking news most times , nor be bad news?

I have been married for close to 5 years, my only regret is that I didn't marry earlier

Marriage to the right person is sweet, let nobody deceive you

My advice is , there is not one formula that works in marriage. Create ur own niche. What I can take from madam, you can never tolerate and vice versa

My mother told me one thing, she said if you want a woman to respect you, love her( most men read love from a woman as respect, most women read respect from a man as love, God know why him say husbands love your wife, and wife respect your husband)

She said provide for home, don't neglect ur responsibilities

Marry a woman who is teachable and compatible with you

Marry your friend, someone's you can relate and gist with at all levels and someone who believes in many of the things you believe in

Never be too proud to say you are sorry not necessarily because you think you are right but for the fact you love peace in your home
Avoid malice. Don't go to bed with an unresolved issue.


Marry a praying spouse. Put God first. Nothing sweet pass make ur spouse genuinely want the best for you


Chairmen and women, the thing plenty.


But nor forget na bad news dey sell.

Nor reason all the things wen u dey hear for NL

Marriage Truly Build on God never Fails but Marriage built without God but for Mere Earthly is a Divorce about to Dance Skelewu Na time Bomb.

King125007:

The devil is fighting marriage..

The Devil is Fighting Earth and Man but when we are all tired the Devil will lose again and Man will Reset.

MufasaLion:
All I know is that there's no manual to this marriage thingy.

God is the Manual and Obedience to God's Laws and Norms from all parties involved from Couples to Extended Family.

Even if you don't believe in God, Don't Do unto others what You wouldn't want them do unto You".... That's the Simple equation of God.

DonroxyII:
Marriage Truly Build on God never Fails but Marriage built without God but for Mere Earthly is a Divorce about to Dance Skelewu Na time Bomb.

There is no such thing as marriage truly built on God. Jesus Christ loud this message 2000 years ago when He declared to you that your Marriages are of this world and not of the Kingdom of God - Luke 20 vs 34 - 36

You don't build a marriage on God. It is not possible. You can instead submit your own life in obedience to the teachings and commandments of Jesus Christ, and allow Him use you to the glory of His Name, even as you are married to your partner.

King125007:
The devil is fighting marriage..

Devil fighting an institution cursed by God in Genesis 3 vs 16 ?

Devil fighting marriage which Jesus Christ informed you was of this world and not of His Kingdom- Luke 20 vs 34 - 36 ?

Please this New Year, try to abandon all the hogwash doctrines and traditions of men, lies, your heads are filled with and try to adopt Jesus Christ, God's Truth, instead.

Kobojunkie:
There is no such thing as marriage truly built on God. Jesus Christ loud this message 2000 years ago when He declared to you that your Marriages are of this world and not of the Kingdom of God - Luke 20 vs 34 - 36

You don't build a marriage on God. It is not possible. You can instead submit your own life in obedience to the teachings and commandments of Jesus Christ, and allow Him use you to the glory of His Name, even as you are married to your partner.

You like arguements. The question is what is God ?

DonroxyII:
You like arguements. The question is what is God ?

That is a foolish question to ask.

Kriss216:

Allow him to wallow in ignorance.

Care to explain why you think the fellow is wallowing in ignorance. He made some valid observations about marriage and used his parent as an example while the fake elder is yet to contribute anything meaning.
You are never wise because of your age but as a a result of learning and experience.
I have met a lot of dumb elders in my time.

Raalsalghul:


Aha, it's another one: "my mother, my father".

We wan hear una own story not your parents'.

Why don't you share your story.

Kobojunkie:
That is a foolish question to ask.

What's beyond Your Intelligence must seem foolish until it's explained to Your Intelligence. You are the foolish one here !

Where did Jesus got his Teachings and Commandments from ? Who taught it to Him ? What was Jesus himself built upon? What was Jesus Teachings and Commandments Built Upon ? God ? What is that "God" ?

DonroxyII:
1. What's beyond Your Intelligence must seem foolish until it's explained to Your Intelligence. You are the foolish one here !

2. Where did Jesus got his Teachings and Commandments from ? Who taught it to Him ? What was Jesus himself built upon? What was Jesus Teachings and Commandments Built Upon ? God ? What is that "God" ?

1. Stop rambling! Your question was simply a foolish one, nothing more.

2. If you feel his Teachings and commandments came from some other source than the one stated by Him then maybe you should lead with that instead of asking yet more ridiculous questions.

Jesus Christ made it clear to His followers that everything He spoke to them came from His Father, God.

Kobojunkie:
1. Stop rambling! Your question was simply a foolish one, nothing more.

2. If you feel his Teachings and commandments came from some other source than the one stated by Him then maybe you should lead with that instead of asking yet more ridiculous questions.

Jesus Christ made it clear to His followers that everything He spoke to them came from His Father, God.

If Everything comes from God and I Stated Marriage should be built on God for it to stand the test of time and you are still rambling in nonsense. See, You just like Arguements and I'm not ready for your shenanigans.

I stated Marriage should be built on God thus Marriage should be built on commandments of Jesus and Teachings if same is based on God's Teachings ... Now See your Folly

You still have to wail again and argue ... Dude you are problematic and have issues

Whatever that's not built on God will never pass Devils Challenges, Simple.... Argue with Your Keyboard, You seem like a Nairaland Bot to me programmed by Seun to Promote Threads via silly side punch and counter arguments

guywitzerogal:
Our parents got married when there wasn't social media and yahoo Boys, our mummy goes to church and pray for our dads, you see the set of girls and boys out now.... Them go disgrace their ancestors

Hehehe

DonroxyII:
1. If Everything comes from God and I Stated Marriage should be built on God for it to stand the test of time and you are still rambling in nonsense. See, You just like Arguements and I'm not ready for your shenanigans. I stated Marriage should be built on God thus Marriage should be built on commandments of Jesus and Teachings if same is based on God's Teachings ... Now See your Folly You still have to wail again and argue ... Dude you are problematic and have issues

2. Whatever that's not built on God will never pass Devils Challenges, Simple.... Argue with Your Keyboard, You seem like a Nairaland Bot to me programmed by Seun to Promote Threads via silly side punch and counter arguments

1. Marriage cannot be built on God this since God said your marriages are of this world and not of His Kingdom - Luke 20 vs 34 - 36. Only that which is of the Kingdom can be built on God.

2. Again, God Himself cursed marriage in Genesis 3 vs 16, and God also told you that marriage is of this world and not of His Kingdom, so what need does the devil have in fighting that which God pretty much removed His hand from?

apatheticme:
@bolded
This is not entirely correct!

Most ladies here would want to contribute intelligently to most threads, but they desist from doing so because they'll be bashed if they share their Honest opinions and it goes against the popular opinion.

Guys on this forum are mostly immature, razz and foul mouthed, so most ladies would rather keep silent and read news or change their gender to m.

Only few have the confidence to contribute on various topics. I've commented severally on issues bordering on marriage in the past, and how I bring a lot to the table to help my spouse and support him and everyone started quoting me left right and centre saying all sorts of crap.

I just quietly made up my mind to stop passing comments on this forum, especially positive ones. It's almost as if they're allergic to good news or good marriages because theirs didn't work out.

Of course we know that offline, in the real world, a lot of women are the breadwinner in their homes, toiling day and night to support their spouses, send the kids to school etc. Who are the women in the markets selling different stuffs, teachers, caterers, canteen operators, nurses, bankers, hairdressers, tailors etc toiling day and night in their shops to make money?? Are they not our wives, daughters, mothers, sisters etc...... So why would somebody say women are lazy and don't want to do anything??

Maybe the slay queens and jobless students y'all hang out with sha, but everywhere around me, lots of women are Hardworking and bring a lot to the table, even sometimes more than their spouses. Yet we women don't go about opening countless threads to wail about how we bring money to run the home and our husbands do nothing to assist even when the workload is unbearable.

cc: Acidosis

Also, just also, have you ever stopped to consider for a fact that we don't share much about ourselves because of the trolling? Note the bolded.

A lot of NLers used to hangout, they post their pictures and dates in the past, but now that everything has gone to the dogs, even to respond to emails na risky business for a woman. I mean, they troll you with LIES, imagine how much more they'd do with actual details about people's lives. It's not cowardice or hypocrisy or anything for one to refrain from posting about themselves on Nairaland. It's just common sense. Later, you'll coman say they're getting the best of us.

Get it right dude: marriage is a horrible affliction on men.

firstbornson:
Just saw a trend about a man telling us of the kind of gut his wife has.

I will be brief.

I've noticed countless times how marriage is bashed on this platform. If there are 10 topics about marriage, 8 will be a complain of what one spouse did to another.

What we don't understand is that we are being subconsciously socially engineered to hate, fear, and dread marriage. Too much bad news everywhere.

The kind of stories I read here, me self don dey fear marriage.

Yet, I'm from a complete family. My parents have being married for 26 years and they are still together. I'm not saying it's been blissful all through, but they are still a team, gist mates, yab mates, etc.

What I want us to do is simple:

Share a story of when your mom stood by your dad, when your wife stood by you or when your husband stood by you during a difficult time.

I won't be surprised if this doesn't make it the FP because people love reading bad news too much.