My Dad is been used;

Hello everyone,

I am not the kind of person that do share my issues with people, I rather find a solution to heal the situation than allowing people's opinion that would be decisive at times and can also get you more confused to decide my next in action.

My Dad's attitude has totally changed towards his children and this is exactly what's about to tear us his children apart from him.

I don't even know where to start from.

Before I start, I want to let you know that my Dad is a good and a God fearing man even up till this moment but we his children don't really understand what's going on in our family again.

My Dad lost his wife about 12years ago and till date we have been living happily after we lost our dear mum to breast cancer.

Then, being the first son amongst my Dad's 7 children ,I was in Jss3 and about writing my Junior waec when my mum gave up the ghost.

Since I lost my mum, Dad has been taking a very good care of us to the extent of making sure he cater for our spiritual through prayers, seeing i and my elder sister through university although we also contributed enormously to our educational project and thank God today we are graduates waiting to be mobilized for Nysc.

I and my sister (graduate also) are currently working as we wait for Nysc mobilization and make sure we don't bother our Dad financially.
Still, we make sure our family don't lack little things we can afford.

It happened that there's these girls (23+) with their siblings sometimes that do visit my Dad almost every Sunday and any day they visit my siblings will leaves the sitting room we are managing to other room in isolation showing disapproval on their faces.

My siblings will serve these girls food and when they are about leaving they will be served the second plates while my siblings would be looking for food to eat.

My Dad will be the one to invite them and he will be the one to pay for their transport fare.

My Dad will be the one texting and calling them on phone every single day, and he's doing all these things behind us while we watch his suspicious moves.

My Dad will be the one to put them through in their choices and decisions through calls and texts.

I and my siblings also noticed that he do make calls behind us.

My Dad will be the one to take food to them in their workplace because they work close to my Dad's shop.

The parent of these girls never asked of my siblings and he will be the one asking and catering for some of their needs.

My Dad is still carrying out his responsibilities but he gives these girls too much attention and the way thinks are going he's emotionally attached to them.

I and my siblings have respectfully called my Dad condemning the act but he's so stubborn to listen to our yearnings and stood his ground that nothing can change it.

One Sunday afternoon, one of these girls announced to one of my sisters of her decision to attend a handcraft training institute close to my house and a bit close theirs.

This my sister jokingly asked her where she would be staying for the one year training (abi she would be staying in the school hostel) my sister was shocked when one of the girls told her she will be staying with us.

Beware, this my sister is not in any way in support of my Dad's sudden attitudinal changes that have made him channel all his attention to these girls and their household.

My Dad never told us all these, even to to consult us his children, but we heard it from one of the girls.

In our two room apartment(face me I face you house).

My elder sister had to calm everyone of us down in order confront my Dad.

We are about saying our prayer and interrupted by asking him if what one of the girls said is true.

My Dad became angry, yelling and telling us that no one has the right to question his decision and it final.

And no one would stop him.

Please help us.

I don't know what to do about this situation as I have younger ones my Dad should focus on than giving all your attention to these girls and family of a mother and a father still young and alive with 11 children.

Eleyi gidi gan, this one is serious. Well just pray

Ok

I can see jealousy in you and your siblings, leave your dad, he’s old enough to know what he’s doing.

I feel your pains. This is one of the things that happens when the pillar of the house is no more.

Trust me, av been there before.

There will be more troubled days. It might even break the bond btw u and your siblings.

But last last it will all pass away.


Ours took over 5yrs for the storm to be over.

Tejumola856:
I can see jealousy in you and your siblings, leave your dad, he’s old enough to know what he’s doing.

jealousy azin?? They even have the right to be jealous self.

Permit me to be blunt! I see rudeness and arrogance written all over this post, make your father dey take permission from you and your siblings before he call or what? Get used to it bro your father have life to live! I knew is hard for you to see any woman close to your father because is been over a decade such happened but get used to it bro! Change is constant it might not even be a romantic relationship he might just be trying to help so calm down

With what you wrote, Are you sure your dad is not there father.

Are there no tough ones among you, between you and your siblings?
What you and the older siblings among you should do is to mobilize yourselves, go to that family, and give them a stern, as in stern warning to stay away from your dad, otherwise, you all will not be held responsible for what happens afterwards.
Shake their wretched ass up!
The battle line has been drawn! Whatever happens, happens!

No offense, but I wouldn’t doubt that your dad is already sleeping with at least one of the girls, especially the brazen one that wants to stay at your house. I mean, the nerve!

Whatever you all(siblings) do, do united! Including confronting your dad.

Tejumola856:
I can see jealousy in you and your siblings,

On top their own papa?

leave your dad, he’s old enough to know what he’s doing.

Of course, he doesn’t know what he’s doing, so he should never be left alone.
Baba eyes don enter those girls, so them come dey use am cash out.
Fear those poor family wey children, especially girls dey plenty.

Mariangeles:

On top their own papa?



Of course, he doesn’t know what he’s doing, so he should never be left alone.
Baba eyes don enter those girls, so them come dey use am cash out.
Fear those poor family wey children, especially girls dey plenty.

so you know this?

Munzy14:

so you know this?

You dey ask?

Mariangeles:
Are there no tough ones among you, between you and your siblings?
What you and the older siblings among you should do is to mobilize yourselves, go to that family, and give them a stern, as in stern warning to stay away from your dad, otherwise, you all will not be held responsible for what happens afterwards.
Shake their wretched ass up!
The battle line has been drawn! Whatever happens, happens!

No offense, but I wouldn’t doubt that your dad is already sleeping with at least one of the girls, especially the brazen one that wants to stay at your house. I mean, the nerve!

Whatever you all(siblings) do, do united! Including confronting your dad.

You want everywhere to explode..

OP's father is either banging one or about to bang one of those girls...

It is dicy, but even in the eyes of scripture, his Dad is single for 12yrs now..He probably need a companion which is a must...But he is being too careless with it...

He needs an advanced lady ga a stand kwa as mother figure to OP's little siblings...

Mana di man choro fresh onu ugu baby.... Uwa di soft...

Poverty wu ihe ojoor...And it is a mindset thing..

Okwa maka ego Noodles na coke ka nwa agbogho 23yrs piston and rings ka wu brandnew ji emehere ebiri mpa ya ukwu smh uwa nke a sef..

Mariangeles:


You dey ask?

Heyyyyy.....Amahum kwa m na ima o..

O wu such girls ka ndi mpa ji ezu ike na village and elsewhere.
The men take advantage of their poor and materialistic nature...Then, the ladies in turn take advantage of the men and their useless konji and void created by their wives.

It's a win win situation for them...i nyem mu enye gi stuffs..

Chai I too talk..

I can see your dad fucking her, when she moves in. I see her commiting abortion. I see your dad regretting.


This I have seen.

What rudeness did you see in his post? If the dad wants to remarry, why can't he remarry? Why is he flaunting ladies before his children? It is disrespectful, he should have rented a place for the ladies so that he can freely be going there, than disrespect his children.

He is their father and has responsibilities to fulfill to his children. He doesn't seem to love peace, and is about causing chaos in his family. I am even suprised the OP and his siblings relate and talk to the two ladies.

LongBig:
Permit me to be blunt! I see rudeness and arrogance written all over this post, make your father dey take permission from you and your siblings before he call or what? Get used to it bro your father have life to live! I knew is hard for you to see any woman close to your father because is been over a decade such happened but get used to it bro! Change is constant it might not even be a romantic relationship he might just be trying to help so calm down

Munzy14:

You want everywhere to explode..

Make everywhere burst abeg!
Before person go dey there dey form cool, another person go come dey take wetin be your own.

OP's father is either banging one or about to bang one of those girls...

Most likely.
Especially the one that had the audacity to tell the op's older sibling that she'll be staying at their house.
That effrontery of that entitlement came from somewhere.

It is dicy, but even in the eyes of scripture, his Dad is single for 12yrs now..He probably need a companion which is a must...But he is being too careless with it...

He needs an advanced lady ga a stand kwa as mother figure to OP's little siblings...

Yes, he has the right to be in a relationship, but he shouldn't be secretive about it.

Mana di man choro fresh onu ugu baby.... Uwa di soft...

Poverty wu ihe ojoor...And it is a mindset thing..

Agadi gwoga ofe!

Okwa maka ego Noodles na coke ka nwa agbogho 23yrs piston and rings ka wu brandnew ji emehere ebiri mpa ya ukwu smh uwa nke a sef..

I si piston and rings?

I don't know what you will do but never allow those girls in your house... It won't be easy to chase them later on cause they'd misbehave....

Foodqueen:


I feel your pains. This is one of the things that happens when the pillar of the house is no more.

Trust me, av been there before.

There will be more troubled days. It might even break the bond btw u and your siblings.

But last last it will all pass away.


Ours took over 5yrs for the storm to be over.

Wow! I would love to hear your story

Mariangeles:


Make everywhere burst abeg!
Before person go dey there dey form cool, another person go come dey take wetin be your own.




Most likely.
Especially the one that had the audacity to tell the op's older sibling that she'll be staying at their house.
That effrontery of that entitlement came from somewhere.



Yes, he has the right to be in a relationship, but he shouldn't be secretive about it.




Agadi gwoga ofe!



I si piston and rings?

Onwehu ihe OP na umunne ya ga emeli o, If the try anything, it will be a case of i mete Agu na ura..

Mpa ya na emekorita with them...Onwere ike sef ihe a wu style the man ji akpobataga nwunye ohuru ya..

You know such girls wu ni ndi na enye ju ya umu nwoke afor o tu okwesiri ...

O nu riwere eriwe a dila committed.

Nwaanyi ishi na poor family with poor moral upbringing wu ihe ojoor...

We still have poor people with excellent morals.

I pity OP with his siblings in this poor condition ha nor, mpa ya na acho i create ri ha more problems

O nwere ike, ya na Adanne ya bukata family, ya shiwe ike ha ahaa ya ga luru partners nke ha..After all problem no dey finish.


O wunu piston and rings wunu obi engine...ya gbada onye ahu awuola agadi...

Gi na this your statement "Agadi gwoga ofe"
You know ndi agadi gwogburu onwe ha na ofe..
Especially ndi mpa.

LongBig:
Permit me to be blunt! I see rudeness and arrogance written all over this post, make your father dey take permission from you and your siblings before he call or what? Get used to it bro your father have life to live! I knew is hard for you to see any woman close to your father because is been over a decade such happened but get used to it bro! Change is constant it might not even be a romantic relationship he might just be trying to help so calm down

Lol
It's easier said than done

Mariangeles:
Are there no tough ones among you, between you and your siblings?
What you and the older siblings among you should do is to mobilize yourselves, go to that family, and give them a stern, as in stern warning to stay away from your dad, otherwise, you all will not be held responsible for what happens afterwards.
Shake their wretched ass up!
The battle line has been drawn! Whatever happens, happens!

No offense, but I wouldn’t doubt that your dad is already sleeping with at least one of the girls, especially the brazen one that wants to stay at your house. I mean, the nerve!

Whatever you all(siblings) do, do united! Including confronting your dad.

Hmmmm....
I don't think this line of action will help things, rather I believe it will worsen things...

If for them to object to the girl staying with them to learn a craft is bringing this much issue, is it when they go and warn the girls in their homes that won't bring issues?

Personally eh...
I won't confront those girls...
I'll keep talking to my dad and if that doesn't yield fruits, I'll turn a blind eye to this...
As long as he's playing his role as a father, it's not my business what he does with his life...

LilMissFavvy:
What rudeness did you see in his post? If the dad wants to remarry, why can't he remarry? Why is he flaunting ladies before his children? It is disrespectful, he should have rented a place for the ladies so that he can freely be going there, than disrespect his children.

He is their father and has responsibilities to fulfill to his children. He doesn't seem to love peace, and is about causing chaos in his family. I am even suprised the OP and his siblings relate and talk to the two ladies.

I don't think you and I are in a position to tell the dad what he "should" do ...

It's his life and as such he should live it how he sees fit...

Yes he has a responsibility to his children, however, he also have a life to live...

From OP's post, he kept this part of his life on hold for 12years, probably in consideration of his kids...

This matter is volatile and the slightest lapse in action can cause irreconcilable issues...

Sincerely eh...
If I was the OP...
I would constantly draw his attention to this matter, and if it's looking as if it'll draw his wrath towards me, I'll move out or I'll stay put and let him do what he wants...

It's better you persuade your dad to remarry than this he's doing....I feel your pain,he needs companion and yes getting it through them...you better find wife for him instead of wasting resources on those girls

Favfables1:


Hmmmm....
I don't think this line of action will help things, rather I believe it will worsen things...

If for them to object to the girl staying with them to learn a craft is bringing this much issue, is it when they go and warn the girls in their homes that won't bring issues?

Personally eh...
I won't confront those girls...
I'll keep talking to my dad and if that doesn't yield fruits, I'll turn a blind eye to this...
As long as he's playing his role as a father, it's not my business what he does with his life...

What I've realized is that when it comes to issues of men and sex, you guys are always "very careful" how you go about the situation.
You all approach it delicately.

Men will always support that men be left alone to do as they please when sex is involved. Even when it affects others.
You'll begin to read " Leave him alone. he's old enough to know what he's doing", well no, not all old people know what they're doing.

Some old men can be very reckless and irresponsible when it comes to sex, as if their existences depend on it. And they don't care if they bring shame to their children.

Of course, you won't confront those girls. You're a guyman, and would most likely be on the side of Op's father.
The Op's sisters should confront them and put them in their place, otherwise, they will takeover their home.

Tejumola856:
I can see jealousy in you and your siblings, leave your dad, he’s old enough to know what he’s doing.

What are you saying? Did you read to understand the situation? He has 7 children Seven! And he is giving attention he is meant to give to his younger children to strange people. And you are here talking about jealousy.

Even if the OP should move out, how about his younger sisters and brothers? They are 7 in number. It is their fathers responsibility to provide accommodation for the plenty children he brought into the world. The children should demand that he rents another place for them, and keep providing for their needs. It is totally unhealthy for the man to be bringing in women to his house.

Favfables1:


I don't think you and I are in a position to tell the dad what he "should" do ...

It's his life and as such he should live it how he sees fit...

Yes he has a responsibility to his children, however, he also have a life to live...

From OP's post, he kept this part of his life on hold for 12years, probably in consideration of his kids...

This matter is volatile and the slightest lapse in action can cause irreconcilable issues...

Sincerely eh...
If I was the OP...
I would constantly draw his attention to this matter, and if it's looking as if it'll draw his wrath towards me, I'll move out or I'll stay put and let him do what he wants...

Tejumola856:
I can see jealousy in you and your siblings, leave your dad, he’s old enough to know what he’s doing.

That's a wrong advice, not even with those girls that are milking him and he has lots of family responsibilities on him

chukwuma0000:
My Dad is been used;

Hello everyone,

I am not the kind of person that do share my issues with people, I rather find a solution to heal the situation than allowing people's opinion that would be decisive at times and can also get you more confused to decide my next in action.

My Dad's attitude has totally changed towards his children and this is exactly what's about to tear us his children apart from him.

I don't even know where to start from.

Before I start, I want to let you know that my Dad is a good and a God fearing man even up till this moment but we his children don't really understand what's going on in our family again.

My Dad lost his wife about 12years ago and till date we have been living happily after we lost our dear mum to breast cancer.

Then, being the first son amongst my Dad's 7 children ,I was in Jss3 and about writing my Junior waec when my mum gave up the ghost.

Since I lost my mum, Dad has been taking a very good care of us to the extent of making sure he cater for our spiritual through prayers, seeing i and my elder sister through university although we also contributed enormously to our educational project and thank God today we are graduates waiting to be mobilized for Nysc.

I and my sister (graduate also) are currently working as we wait for Nysc mobilization and make sure we don't bother our Dad financially.
Still, we make sure our family don't lack little things we can afford.

It happened that there's these girls (23+) with their siblings sometimes that do visit my Dad almost every Sunday and any day they visit my siblings will leaves the sitting room we are managing to other room in isolation showing disapproval on their faces.

My siblings will serve these girls food and when they are about leaving they will be served the second plates while my siblings would be looking for food to eat.

My Dad will be the one to invite them and he will be the one to pay for their transport fare.

My Dad will be the one texting and calling them on phone every single day, and he's doing all these things behind us while we watch his suspicious moves.

My Dad will be the one to put them through in their choices and decisions through calls and texts.

I and my siblings also noticed that he do make calls behind us.

My Dad will be the one to take food to them in their workplace because they work close to my Dad's shop.

The parent of these girls never asked of my siblings and he will be the one asking and catering for some of their needs.

My Dad is still carrying out his responsibilities but he gives these girls too much attention and the way thinks are going he's emotionally attached to them.

I and my siblings have respectfully called my Dad condemning the act but he's so stubborn to listen to our yearnings and stood his ground that nothing can change it.

One Sunday afternoon, one of these girls announced to one of my sisters of her decision to attend a handcraft training institute close to my house and a bit close theirs.

This my sister jokingly asked her where she would be staying for the one year training (abi she would be staying in the school hostel) my sister was shocked when one of the girls told her she will be staying with us.

Beware, this my sister is not in any way in support of my Dad's sudden attitudinal changes that have made him channel all his attention to these girls and their household.

My Dad never told us all these, even to to consult us his children, but we heard it from one of the girls.

In our two room apartment(face me I face you house).

My elder sister had to calm everyone of us down in order confront my Dad.

We are about saying our prayer and interrupted by asking him if what one of the girls said is true.

My Dad became angry, yelling and telling us that no one has the right to question his decision and it final.

And no one would stop him.

Please help us.

I don't know what to do about this situation as I have younger ones my Dad should focus on than giving all your attention to these girls and family of a mother and a father still young and alive with 11 children.

Since your dad has be stubborn and refuses to take your guys advice, just leave him but make those girls uncomfortable in your home anytime they are around

Just let them observe that you hate their presence

They will report to your dad but you have to deny doing it

LilMissFavvy:
Even if the OP should move out, how about his younger sisters and brothers? They are 7 in number. It is their fathers responsibility to provide accommodation for the plenty children he brought into the world. The children should demand that he rents another place for them, and keep providing for their needs. It is totally unhealthy for the man to be bringing in women to his house.

And if he doesn't meet their demands? What would you advice they do?